32 answers

How to Wake up Husband?? ... How NOT to Wake up Daughter??

My husband, daughter (22mos) and I live a smaller apartment, and my daughter's room is right next to ours. Recently, she's been waking up to his alarm... at 4am!... and staying up until nap at 12:30pm, if not later. Talk about draining!

Now, in the rare chance that she doesn't wake up at the 4am alarm, chances are likely she'll wake up at one of the 4 minute increments of snoozes, as my husband will sometimes hit until 5:30. Needless to say, I'm going a little crazy at this point.

My hubby claims he doesn't remember ANYTHING, so there's nothing he can do. He says he'll sleep on the couch downstairs, but I don't want to sleep without him 5 days a week!

What do I do???

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Well, we've been using the humidifier, which seems to have helped a little bit... and when she DOES wake up @ 4am to my husband's alarm... it seems to help her to fall back asleep... sometimes. We've also been using a nature sounds CD... I haven't really noticed a difference either way with it.

Also, over the weekend, she woke up around 3 and we couldn't get her back down until 5ish both days... no alarms at all. Apparently, she's sleeping really light during these hours, but I have no idea why.

Featured Answers

I have deaf family members and we have an alarm that is connected to the lights so that they flick off and on making no noise whatsoever.

And I agree DH needs to address the waking up issue.

Yep.....my daughter even sleeps with me sometimes, and if I have my alarm on vibrate, and place it under my pillow........I WAKE UP! Not her......or you could place it on the bed somewhere........

I have seen alarm clocks that emit a light and the light is supposed to wake you up gradually. I don't know if it would work but at least it would be quiet!
Good luck.
G.

More Answers

I vote for sound machine. I have sound machines in all my kids rooms and it drowns most external noises out.

As I see that you already have some response all pretty much the same. Please understand that your child's sleeping pattern will change from time to time. Another alternative that can be used should you lose signal to your cell and is this device is used among the deaf and hh community (ever wonder how they wake up to go to work?) ...is an alarm bed shaker. You can google it and find them. It allows you to wake up without disturbing another person in the house. They also have ones that it is placed under the pillow in the situation that husband and wife are sleeping and only one has to wake. This method is designed to wake one of the parties instead of the alarm waking up both individuals.

Just another alternative to throw out there in the wind-in case you need to pass it on to someone who could use this advice as well.
Best of luck.

M.
Mom of 4.

First of all, for yours and your daughter's sake, you husband has to take responsibility for this problem and stop setting the alarm for 4am. Snoozing for an hour & a half? - that is RIDICULOUS!! (not top mention disrespectful to you and unacceptable) Have him set the alarm for the EXACT time he NEEDS to wake up, and not a minute earlier. One time of him being late to work will cure that snooze button problem.

Secondly, I can personally attest that sound machines do work! We are in the same situation in a tiny house with thin walls - you can hear anything from anywhere in the house. My daughter used to wake if our dog rattled her metal collar tags! I have 2 kids( 3yrs & 16m), and both now have sound machines set to "white noise" in their rooms. At naps & bedtime I pop them on, and it helps settle them down and KEEP then down throughout the night and early morning alarm & routines. We got our sound machines at Brookstone, but I'm sure you can find them a number of places. I will say that I looked into the cheaper one sold at Babies R Us, and found it to be too "quiet" to really make a difference. I doubt that a regular fan or humidifier would be loud enough in my house either, but it's worth a shot! We have window unit a/c units in the summer, which are awesome.

Lastly, one idea I hadn't seen suggested yet: how about setting up a timer (the type used when going on vacation) on a lamp in your room? Hopefully he has a lamp on his side of the bed, and it could be set to turn on 5:00am everyday, or whenever he needs to wake up. Other than that, I've seen alarm clocks that mimic the sun rising, with increasing amounts of light emitted to wake you naturally. They have regular buzz/beep backups to the light, if that doesn't work.

Best wishes to you!

I definitely agree with a white noise machine. Babies R Us sells one for about 20 bucks - I think it's called The Sound Machine. It plays all sorts of sounds and it continues all night and we even use it during naps. We like the wave sound. Hope you can find something - you definitely don't need to be up at 4am! Don't give up! Stay at home moms do not have to be up at the crack of dawn! Good luck. :)

I put on the radio when my kids go to bed so it stays on all night. It's usually a jazz station, or something like that which won't turn to talk radio. Once in a while I've had it on a station that does talk it that doesn't seem to bother them. This is what has always been done, so I think it's just what they're used to. The sound machine is a good idea too. Anything that'll give constant noise in her room that'll drown out the sound of his alarm. I can't say anything about his alarm/snooze habits, because I'm in the same boat. I set my alarm for 5:15am & don't get out of bed until 6:30!!

A.,

Try putting something in your child's room that makes white noise. A sound machine that plays nature sounds will work (and are cheaper than those called "white noise" machines). I run a vaporizer in my daughter's room and that works great too. A fan will also work.

It makes a HUGE difference. When we were in our apartment, my bedroom shared a wall with my daughters and it was the only wall her crib fit on. But with the humidifier working, she rarely woke up when I got up or while I got ready.

Also, could you husband use his cell phone as an alarm - put it on vibrate and place it under the pillow? Worth a shot . . .

C.

Try using a different alarm clock (i.e. cell phone). Try out different ring tones to see which one will wake up your husband and not your daughter. Always have the main one go off at 5:30 as a back up to make sure that your husband wakes up if the other ring tones do not.

Hi A., Your hubby sounds like mine used to be. It's time to use your elbow and stop that snooze alarm! Put the alarm on your side of the bed. When it goes off you elbow him, nudge him, whatever until he gets up...then you go back to sleep. This worked for us until my hubby got used to getting up with the first ring of his alarm (I think the snooze thing is a hold over from b.c. life...before Children). Good luck!

How about switching the alarm to your side of the bed - that way you can control the noise and cut down on the hits to the snooze button. You could also run a humidifier in your daughter's room. The hum from that might cover the noise from the next room.

Sleep without him for five days a week... :) You might be surprised how much better you sleep without him in the bed too!

The sleep you and she are not getting is not good for either one of you. I went sleep deprived for far too long, before I realized how much it was affecting my thinking, my mood, and my health - think about how it must affect a toddler!

As for putting noise in her 'area' to muffle the sound, make sure it is a sound she can't become dependent upon. My nephew, now 9, cannot sleep without a TV or radio on because my sister did just that to drown out the noise in her house.

Instead, what we did was we got a white noise machine ($20 at Linens N' Things) and we keep it in the hall, rather than directly in her room. We also put a towel at the bottom of her door to keep external sounds from echoing into her room (we have all hardwood floors). These two things have helped us tremendously... and like you, our bathroom is next to her room... in fact, the shower is literally right next to her head!

Good luck!

what my SIL does with my nephew so his alarm doesnt wake up my younger neices - she has him turn on his cell phone alarm and then put it under his pillow - then he'll hear it and feel it too - bc most of them have vibrate - but everyone else wont hear it as loud. Good Luck!

oh and you could always live by the "rule" we had when BOTH our kids were little "you wake them up YOU put them back to sleep" once or twice of that your hubby will figure out how to get out of bed faster!!!

let us know what happened!

My husband did the same BS with me. He claimed her rarely remembered. Oh sure, lol! Our solution was the put the alarm across the room so he had to get up to turn it off. If he used the snooze, I hit, elbowed, kicked and pushed him right out of bed. Did I mention my husband is a Marine? LOL That only worked part of the time so I had to play hard ball. When I heard his alarm go off, I immediately rolled over to his side so he couldn't crawl back in bed. It was more comfortable anyway cuz I got more room! He would be pissy in the morning but he finally got over it. I told him if he was so tired he needed to go to bed early. Mine would stay up until 1-2am! I started with giving him a curfew of midnight, and then told him to set the alarm with enough time to easily get ready for work. He took 5 minute "ship showers", put on his cammies, and was out the door in a total of 10 minutes if need be. He decided he wanted time to catch sports scores and news so he decided on 30 minutes so he wakes up a half hour before he has to leave. That gives him a bit more sleep time and he's not quite as tired.

As for waking up the baby, try using a fan for "white noise" or soft nature music in her room. It may drown out the alarm in your room. Make sure her crib is on the other side of the room and the fan on the wall with the noise, or near the door. Try putting furniture against the wall against hers if possible to help with the noise.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat
Chat and events, within 2 hour radius

My hubby does the same thing. Luckily it is not waking our 2 month old, but I"m sure someday it will. It just wakes me which is also quite annoying!! As far as waking your daughter, maybe put a white noise machine in her room. That would drown out any outside noises, including the alarm. We bought one at Babies R Us for under $30. It really helps her sleep. It has a wide variety of sounds so you can choose what works best. Good luck!

I have a friend who tells me stories about getting up at 4 am with her daughter and I live in fear of that day. We instituted a 7 am rule at our house. As in DD is not permitted to get up before 7 am. If she wakes up (and her crib is in our bedroom - she's 14 months) before 7 am and will not go back to sleep for me, she and I move downstairs. I nurse her, cuddle her, settle her, and put her into the pack n play and go sleep on the couch for the remainder of the night. If she gets up at 6:55, we go through this and if she gets up at 3 am we do this.

If she continues to fuss or cry in the pack n play, I go back in and resettle her and we repeat that process every 5-10 minutes until she goes back to sleep.

I've also recently heard about a nightlight of sorts that's a moon and a sun with a timer built in. At the time you set it for, the light switches from the nightlight moon to the brighter sun. I don't have a link, but I'm thinking that something like that would be ideal for my daughter as she gets bigger but before she can tell time. As in she's not allowed to be up before the sun is on.

Good Luck !

S.

I agree with the white noise and lullabyes. For white noise we've used those white noise machines, fans, air purifiers and vaporizers (which might be a good choice for this time of year).

great advise so far, espically with the cell phone and maybe play some soft music in your daughter's room as well. If all, and I mean all else fails, wake yourself up with the cell phone- then wake him up, make sure he is awake- like take the covers off and then ( kick him out of bed... no just kidding!!!) I needed a lol with the idea of my husband on the floor 1/2 naked and startled =) best of luck
diane

I have seen alarm clocks that emit a light and the light is supposed to wake you up gradually. I don't know if it would work but at least it would be quiet!
Good luck.
G.

What about putting the alarm clock across the room-- that way he couldn't snooze it? Or one of those alarm clocks that uses light to wake people up?

My baby sleeps with one of the Flitreet air purifiers-- it is pretty loud, but no moving parts (on the outside) for him to hurt himself on.

There are a couple of options. Based on what you said, that he doesn't get up sometimes until 5:30, I am assuming he doesn't really "HAVE" to be up and at 'em at 4:00. Why not ask him to set his alarm for 5:00 ? That last hour of sleep would be good for both of you.

That was solution one. Solution 2, is to simply go to bed earlier.

I agree with you -- I am in favor of having my spouse in my bed with me. Both he and I really notice it if the other is away and we have the bed to ourselves. We are both happier and we both sleep better when we are together.

White noise OR a soft lullaby CD in her room should really help to mask the noise from his alarm. I used to be addicted to the multiple snooze alarm technique but is HAS to go bye-bye with kids! Good luck!

Have you considered either a white noise machine or a radio in your daughter's room? The consistent noise throughout the night might make the sudden noise of the alarm in the next room less noticable and may keep her asleep.

It works for us.

I would put a white noise machine in her room, like a small fan to cut down on any external noise in the house. I used to do that with my kids when we lived in the city near the bus stop and ambulance would drive by all the time. They never woke up.

White noise really does work. I put our window unit air conditioner on the fan setting for every nap and it does wonders for allowing my 18 mo. old to sleep with two older siblings running around the house. Any loud fan would work. You might have to get creative about where to put it in the cooler months. Also, about the alarm clock. My husband hits snooze a lot too, and we decided to put the alarm on the radio setting rather than the buzzer...we just set the dial to static (in between stations) rather than to music. When the volume is up, it's loud enough to wake us, but also subtle enough that the kids won't hear.

Hi! It sounds like we have the exact same set up that you do, our room is right next to our son's room. To make it worse our bed is against the wall that separates our rooms! LOL! When I have to set the alarm for my hubby I use my cellphone. I set the alarm and put it under my pillow. I have it set to vibrate and a typical alarm sound. It works pretty well. The sound is muffled enough that my son doesn't hear it but it's still loud enough to wake me up. Then I just roll over and wake hubby up. We also have a fan that we have right outside our son's room (his door stays open a few inches). It creates white noise and helps keep other noise to a minimum. And your hubby can help by not going back to sleep. If he truly wants to get to work early he should get up right away so he doesn't disturb everyone in the house. If he needs that extra hour of sleep he should just set the alarm to 5am. Hitting the snooze button doesn't really help since you don't truly fall all the way back to sleep. Good luck!!

we were having that same problem not so early though but set my cell phone to vibrate and use that as the alarm clock.

I didn't read through the responses, so not sure if others have made these two suggestions, but have you considered a vibrating alarm? If you google vibrating watch, lots come up. Even if it's ugly, he only needs to wear it at home! :) Also, we use white noise machines in our girls' rooms so they don't hear each other. They're great. Good luck!

You can put a white noise thing in her room. It will drown out any other sounds in the house.

Your husband is lucky to be alive at this point! I agree, the alarm should be set for the absolute last moment that he has to get up, 5:30!!! Try the noise machine, I love those things. If that doesn't work, consider your (and your baby's)waking time the same as your hubby's. It is good for a person to wake at the same time each day, so your time is just a little earlier. My kid's waking times have always been super early 5:30 or 6. Your body will adjust, even though it is hard!! One more idea for you to use, I use ear plugs so that I don't wake when my husband does or when he snores. LOVE Mack's earplugs, they are awesome!!

Yep.....my daughter even sleeps with me sometimes, and if I have my alarm on vibrate, and place it under my pillow........I WAKE UP! Not her......or you could place it on the bed somewhere........

Hi A.,

My question is: if your hubby doesn't need to get up until 5:30am, why in the world is his alarm going off at 4:00am?

The cell phone alarm sounds like a great idea as does white noise in your daughter's room.

L.

I keep the alarm on my side of the bed and set to a very low volume. since I am a lighter sleeper (most mom's are) it wakes me up and I wake my husband up. It takes me a few nudges sometimes, but it keeps the noise level considerably down so my boys aren't disturbed. They are 2 & 4 and also light sleepers. My husband is usually up between 3 & 4 am, so this works out good for us. Its not a sacrifice on my part cuz if he set the alarm, the whole county would be woke up. LOL Good luck.

I have deaf family members and we have an alarm that is connected to the lights so that they flick off and on making no noise whatsoever.

And I agree DH needs to address the waking up issue.

Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.