7 Week Old Doesn't like Being Put Down.....

My son was like this and although I eventually had to be firm and let him cry so that he could learn to comfort himself (you'll probably get a lot of advice on that) at 7 weeks I would get a Baby Bjorn and allow her the comfort of being near you while you get some chores done. Then, maybe you could begin by being more firm at specific times of the day - such as beginning with her morning nap? Sorry I'm not more help. HOpefully you get some more detailed advice...
: )

Liev gave you a perfect answer. I couldn't add anything to that. I held my babies a lot and I don't regret it for one minute, especially now that they are 10 & 21 years old.

A. :)

I say hold your baby!

Get one of those soft fabric carriers, that way you can still get things done.

T.

You can't spoil a 7 week old! My husband still wants to disagree with this, but I won't let him. I completely agree with the first two responses- get a sling. I didn't have one with my daughter, but it has been a godsend with my son. He was colicky for many weeks and the sling kept us all sane and happy. Now that he is almost five months old we are working on getting him to go to sleep on his own and teaching him how to entertain himself and it is going very well, but I wouldn't have done it a day sooner. The fourth trimester is a real thing for some babies and the best thing you can do for your baby is to respond to her every need now so that she will be better prepared and comfortable when she is ready to face the world.

First of all, congratulations on your new arrival!! And yes, you CAN handle both of them, it just takes a lot of practice, trial and error, and maybe a few tears. I don't have a lot of great advice on getting babies to sleep, each one of my 3 was a struggle, and each was different. But one thing that always helped at this young age was swaddling, it would keep the transfer from arms to bed less noticeable(my first son was exactly the same as you describe, sound asleep, then would wake up as soon as he was put down). And there is always the "white noise" the "experts" claim works, such as putting the bassinet by the fridge, for the humming, or putting a fan in the room blowing away from baby, for the low steady constant noise it makes. I had some small success with this concept, and when you need them to sleep, even small success is big news, so I pass this on to you and say Good luck, God Bless, and if nothing else, she'll grow out of it, eventually...(though that's not a lot of help to you right now, I know)

Get a carrier. Try the Ergo with the insert. Carry that baby, mama! But get those poor hands and arms free.

This way, your new baby will either get used to sleeping while you carry her around and care for your 4-year old - which is great because you don't have to tip-toe around - or you can get her to sleep by herself by this technique: holding her for longer. She SEEMS sound asleep, but babies' brains don't work like adults'. When they have fallen asleep, it is a light sleep. Go for another 20 min doing whatever works best to shut those eyes, and then, only after 20 minutes, put her down, and she should then stay asleep.

Don't make her cry it out. She is not rotten. She is in the 4th trimester. The world outside is so different and cold and motionless compared with your womb. It's traumatic for babies to leave that! It's such a scary, foreign place to her right now. You can't spoil her by holding her whenever she needs you, wants you, cries for you. Don't make her cry it out. Leaving her to cry and throw up and give up would tear away at your bond with her and you'd start to lose your sense of what she needs because, when you respond quickly to her cries, you're learning every time how to best meet her needs This is the difficult part. And with another child to care for, yes, it is hard. But if you don't go through this critical learning time, and instead make her cry it out, she either becomes clingier and needier and whinier (and it only gets worse as she gets bigger), or she learns on a deep level hopelessness, defeat and that nothing she does matters, has any effect on others, because not even her loving parents respond to her desperate cries.

She's just 7 weeks old. She doesn't know how to manipulate you. Newborns are the sincerest people that any of us has ever met. When she cries, she really means it. Give her all the love and comfort and security that she craves, and she will start to relax in a few short weeks and, you will see!, in a couple of months, she will be squirming out of your arms to look around and explore her world. This is because "she is full and wants to be excused from the table" - she has the comfort and affection and security that she needs. If you withhold that, you're in for a mess, discipline-wise and emotionally, all around.

This is similar to what happened with me. Are you laying her down on her back or side? You probably are because that's the right thing to do. Some children are just tummy sleepers. Try laying her on her tummy once she is asleep. If she stirs just tap her butt lightly. I am almost positive changing her sleeping position like this will solve your problem. Good luck!

Ever think maybe there is something wrong. Since she only does this after she eats and is in a prone position, perhaps something is hurting her which is eased when you put her in an upright position. I would have her checked first before assuming. PS - you can't spoil a 7 week old. I'm a mom of 4 and grandma of 2 whom I care for while there mom is at work.

Rebecca,

Congrats on your little one and I'm glad to here she is doing better. I agree with what Liev said, I couldn't have said it better myself.
My son was very fussy for about the first 3 months. I agree with the fourth trimester theory, it makes so much sense to me.
I could never get anything done either so I bought a carrier. He loves it and usually never makes a peep when I put him in it. He would also never want to stay in his car seat when I went grocery shopping so I would end up carrying him around the store in my arm and trying to push the cart with the other arm....not good. I just put him in the sling and he looks around with me.
He is now 6 1/2 months and still loves to be held, but he is a very happy baby and also loves to play on his own.
Hang in there, I bet after she's three months, you'll see a change in her.
S.

Goodness you have had a time of it haven't you? You did nothing wrong in bonding so closely with her so please relieve your minds of that. Now the hard part: You will have to just let her cry it out - it is nervewracking and frustrating and heart hurtful, but eventually she will adjust. Be prepared for her to scream til she vomits, or whatever else. Training a baby is repetition and consistency. Try playing soft classical music or perhaps a recording of a human heartbeat. This is probably what she will relate to. Good luck honey - you are all in my prayers.

I wouldn't let her cry it out at this young of an age! You were doing the right thing in my opinion by holding her a lot. Young babies need that! I held mine all the time and rocked her to sleep until she was about 5 months old because she was just getting too heavy to carry around! I don't think they should be left to cry it out unless they are an older toddler who you know is deliberately throwing a tantrum to get his or her way. Anyway, that's my opinion! Oh and I understand about not getting any housework done because of having to hold her all the time, I had the same problem; however, I look at my job as to take care of my kid, period, not to clean. My husband and I share the cleaning (just like pre-kid when we both worked) in the evenings and weekends or whenever we are both home so one can watch the baby and one can clean. So I never do chores during the day and give my full attention to the kid, unless she is napping. That said, I only have one, so I don't know what to tell you about being fair to the 4 year old with your attention! Good luck!

The only way I could get my baby down, (she is number three) without screaming is to lay her on her tummy. Worked like a charm.

I agree that you need a sling... it's getting into summer now, so make sure that you get one that is very light weight, because you don't want to overheat the baby or yourself.

At the same time, I'd say that you need to make certain that you take 15 minutes a day and give them to yourself... don't let yourself think about the next load of laundry or what the kids are doing or anything for anyone else - you have to take care of yourself first, because you are their greatest resource!
Good luck!
-H

I sympathize - my second child is now 11 weeks and had colic. Our kids are 18 months apart and I had a C-section, so I spent about 2 months unable to do much more than carry a screaming baby around and wonder if I'd ever be able to cook dinner again, let alone feed my other child or play with him. Our new baby is sensitive to changes in position, which made it very difficult to put him down or even shift arm position if he fell asleep. Unfortunately, 7 weeks is too young for crying it out - generally 4 months is the earliest they're able to handle that, according to Marc Weissbluth in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Infants are also the fussiest around 6 weeks, but generally by 8 weeks they start settling down in the "random fussing" department. I have a New Native Baby Carrier that I bought on ebay and it worked very well in that the baby would fall asleep in the carrier and I could move around and care for my toddler and even eat something!! It can be awkward to do chores, but on a plus note, no one really expects you to do many chores the first two months. I know, they need to be done, but no one thinks any less of you for a chaotic house, unless they've never had children! :)

Something else nice about the New Native carrier is that you can take it off with the baby still in it and set the baby down, no unclipping or lifting baby out of the carrier. You can even put the carrier and baby directly in a car seat, and I've done that a couple times. It's been very helpful.

http://www.newnativeinc.com/

Try laying her in her car seat or bouncy seat - which is slightly elevated - once she is asleep. My little girl would only stay asleep if I put her in one of those two places when she was itty bitty like that. She was always a little congested. My son, however, would only sleep on his tummy(which made me really nervous) at that age and was a total mommies boy. I nursed both my kids - which I believe added a little bit to that, they want to be able to smell mommy close by. It might be a trial and error type thing. Good Luck :)

Hi Rebecca,
When my first child was born, my mother would say, "You need to stop holding her so much. She'll get spoiled." I was concerned! My mom was the oldest of 11 kids and had 3 of her own, so I figured she knew what she was talking about. But when I told my pediatrician, he just laughed and very kindly patted my shoulder. "You can't spoil a baby," he said. "Enjoy holding her while she's little. Soon enough, she'll be a teenager and won't want to be seen with you." I always remembered that. Maybe you and your 4 year old could sit on the couch and read together with the baby, or watch a movie, etc. Just some ideas. Believe me, the pediatrician was right. They don't need to be held forever. One day your baby will start to outgrow that. Maybe you could just lay the baby down for a few minutes at a time to kind of wean her away from constant holding, but I would be the very same way as you if my baby had been sick and away from me. Don't worry about it. It will all come out right in the end.
C.

Your daughter is acting perfectly normal considering what she has been through having to be taken back to the hospital and left there for health reasons. I would suggest buying a SNUGLI baby carrier which is a front pack and use it for her. It will make your hands free and she still will feel secure. In time she will allow you to put her down to sleep. Nursing her will give her comfort and contact, and keep her free of illnesses. (I think you are nursing?) She needs this security for proper growth and development. She is too young to be manipulating you or "rotten" as you put it. Give her time and this will be overcome. 11 days was a long time to be away from mama in her first week of life.
B. S. RN CCM

People say you can't spoil a baby, but...my daughter was the same way. I could tell after a day of family coming to see her when she was just a couple weeks old what a difference a day makes! I tried to just meet somewhere in the middle. I didn't let her cry it out, but I let her cry for a little bit, hold her and cuddle for a little bit, and then set her down in a bouncer or something for a little bit. She would cry but eventually she knew she wasn't being deserted and she'd be a little more content. Crying won't hurt, but I wouldn't let her do it for long periods of time until she's older. Of course, if she needed something (food, dry diaper, blanket) then I tended to that first.
Good luck, it's so hard to listen to our babies cry!

Get on becoming babywise. She's young enough that it's tough to keep her up after a meal, but work towards keeping her up after meals and then putting her down for naps so that you can wake her up from nap for the next meal.

In addition, it will help in keeping her awake after a meal, but it also may help w/ any anxiety she has about not being close to you, plan to do something after the feeding. Some kind of play or other activity that you can do together where she can lay on your lap, or be propped up on the boppy next to you. As she gets more comfortable you can gradually increase your distance, in the interim, enjoy sitting together and showing her the different textures on her teddy bear or the different pictures in a book. Your 4 year old will probably love to help you teach sister about all of these things.

I would also consider whether she might have a gas bubble, try burping for a while longer and if that doesn't work some mylicon before putting her down and see if maybe that doesn't help.

My belief is that you can't spoil a newborn, their brains are not yet capable of manipulating you. I would agree with some of the other moms and suggest using a sling to help you handle the baby while also having your hands free for your 4 year old. Also, remember that babies loved to be swaddled tightly. They like to feel safe and secure and warm when they are sleeping. Try swaddling her tightly and maybe using two rolled up recieving blankets on each side of her to hold her still and to keep her from rolling over to her face (or just use a sleep positioner). My daughter slept like this for months before figuring out how to get out of the blanket. Once I swaddled her she would get cozy and doze off. Good luck, you're doing a fabulous job!

have you tried using a wrap or carrier. It might make your hands free to do some things but still give her what she needs.

Hi Rebecca,

You have got some very good advices. Do you burp her after feeding? Nasal congestion or Tummy gas also need to be checked out as some babies feel better in upright position due to these.

Sounds like your baby is very needy right now and I don't think you did anything wrong to cause it. We held our little one at all times for 5 mos and gradually she became more independent. The problem was that before we got the right carrier I was not able to do my housework, etc. Look at the Pikkolo Carrier by Catbird Baby online. If you already have a Bjorn Active carrier that might be ok if she is small. Our baby was 10 lbs at birth and quickly the Bjorn was h*** o* my back. Do some reading on the Dr. Sears site. Your baby needs you. She isn't spoiled, but you definitely need some relief for your own sake.

Rebecca,

I recommend Dr. Sears' Baby Book and the website www.askdrsears.com
My daughter was the same way. Dr. Sears has great suggestions that helped me. I accommodated her using a sling. And, wearing her facing out, so she could see what was going on. (Chores can wait. Your baby needs you.)

Keep in mind you can not spoil a baby. Cries are your babies way of communicating. Please don't let her cry it out.

Blessings to you and your family.

Sincerely,

B.

My son is now 4 months old but he went through a phase from about 4-8 weeks where we could not put him down. I even had to hold him while I went to the bathroom, couldn't even put him in the bouncer. Then one day he actually liked his swing at about 8 weeks and it was all swing from there. Some times he would fuss in our arms until we put him in his swing. Now he plays on the floor blankets and play gym and takes all his naps in his swing. I think they sometimes go through phases. I thought it was because my in laws came in town and passed him around and from there he wanted to be in arms but it may not be that. I say just keep trying and it might pass.

Baby's cry because they need something, it is there only form of communication.. However, i understand needing a break. YOu might try putting her in sling or wrap. This allows her to be close to you and for you to get other things done. NO YOU WILL NOT SPOIL THE BABY. BABIES CANNOT BE SPOILED BY BEING HELD TOO MUCH!
right now your baby needs you. You said she is only 7 weeks old. She has an intense desire to be with mom, you provide her with comfort.

Try a sling- they are available at Natuaral Lullabies, Target carries one type. Natural Lulluabies has several different types- you might go learn about them try some on and then shop around on internet and other places for price comparison.
Remember you baby will be little needing and wanting you for a VERY SHORT TIME. Enjoy this time because it will go by in a flash.
In the words of a current country song -- "Your gonna miss this, want this back and wish these days had not gone by so fast."

Oh, mama, isn't it tough trying to figure out what's the right/best thing to do? You have a mama's instinct deep inside you that will let you know what's right.
Biologically, babies are meant to be with their mamas at all times. It's how they develop their brains, their bodies, their emotions. They learn from being *with* you. All the toys, music, bouncies, whathaveyou in the world cannot replace skin-to-skin time with a mama.
I highly second (third?) the suggestion to invest in a good wrap or sling.
I teach babywearing classes, and I'm going to start teaching them on post real soon. If you'd like to learn about babywearing, and try out different types of carriers, let me know and I'd love to help you out.
I have four little ones, and I know how it can be hard to juggle housework, baby, other children, husband, self, etc. Having a sling is like have an extra set of hands. It has made my life so much easier!

i agree with the last poster about wearing your baby in a wrap or sling. it works like a charm for me and i have a 3 1/2 yo, 2 yo, and 6 mo!