5 Year Old Still Wet His Pants - Need Advice

If you get desperate and school starts, I saw this wonderful little 'watch' at the market the other day, it had a timer on it and plays a little song to remind kids when to go potty, you can set it every 30, 60 or 90 minutes. This one looks similar: http://www.pottytimeinc.com/?_oskwdid=655024

1 mom found this helpful

Hi A.-

I am going through the same thing with my six year old. You have some good responses and advice here. My son wet his pants in kindergarten at least once a week, and i always made sure he had 2 changes of clothes available. To ease your mind a little, yes there are kids that will "ridicule" your child or make fun, but honestly my son never went through that. His teacher (and most at that) will not allow bullying. I decided to press the issue with his pediatrician because I felt it was more than just laziness and behavioral, although I did feel that was part of it, a small part. They finally referred us to a pediatric urologist at my pushing, and we found that he couldn't, physically, completely empty his bladder thus the accidents in between bathroom breaks. That was causing his bladder to over act with spasms. This is not a big deal aside from the frustration of wet pants. Some have said they will tire of being in their wet pants. You may have noticed (as I did) that they really don't care about the wet pants until it chaps their thighs. Anyway, they prescribed one of the medications for over-active bladder. I decided (even being against the use of unnecessary medications) to go ahead and use it. 3 weeks of use really solved the problem, and now I continue with natural remedies for over active bladder. A great one is a free-form amino acid complex which naturally helps to strengthen the bladder muscle. use a product made from a vegetable source. some other helpful things are calcium and magnesium. always follow guidelines and note that most are adult doses so adjust accordingly (usually 1/2-1/4 the full dose). some say vitamin a is helpful but ALWAYS be very careful not to overdose on vitamin A. I know this is long but hopefully reassuring. Trust your instinct and good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi A.,
I couldn't stand reading the reply from Julia below, so I just had to write. Sometimes with posting these questions, you just get a terrible response. I've learned to take these w/ a grain of salt. Uggh. You did get some good responses however and I wish you luck. Just don't worry too much, he will outgrow it, there is always one or two kids that have accidents in kindergarten, it happens and the teachers are used to it. You may want to have a change of clothes available to him and /or his teacher (tucked in a bag that offers privacy to your child) just in case. Otherwise, what happens is they send your sweet little guy dripping wet to the office, call you in to change him. The sooner he gets back to class and the routine the better. Good luck to you!

He won't be the first 5 yr old to have an accident at school. Keep a change of clothes in his backpack. Also realize he'll be on a restricted eating/drinking schedule - only snacking at snack time. This may actually help.

Maybe you could write a note to the teacher --- ask if they have a schedule like suggesting everyone use the restroom before recess, lunch, etc. Find out if the RR is in the classroom or if it is in a distant location --- generally they don't send K's far off and the lower grades require taking a buddy to rr (for safety).

Above all don't stress about it. Putting more pressure on him can make it worse. Praise him at home when he remembers to go on his own. Maybe you could find out the schedule from the school ahead of time and then play school at home.

Good luck--- 20 yrs from now, no one will remember an accident .

I used to be a nanny for a little boy who did this type of thing, so I read up on what they suggested. One of the books I read said, that if your child does this type of thing, they will probably only do it once in school, because of the ridicule they suffer for doing it. In other words the other kids will take care of the issue for you. If he knows how to use the potty, and doesn't, he needs to make a consious decision to do it, and the book suggests that it works.
I have a child of my own too, and I know that sounds like harsh advice, but I bet you it works!

You said: I think he gets so engrossed his what he is playing that he doesn't want to stop to go to the bathroom.

My grandson was like that. He was trained but when he was playing I would still ask him if he needed to go. The answer would always be "no". Then he would wet his pants. I just instituted a policy that if he wet his pants after I asked him, he would be punished, either a time out from playing or no TV AND I followed through. There were no more "accidents".

Hi A.:
First,prepare yourself,for some very negative, critical responses here.(Potty training)is considered to some as one of those major achievements,right up there,with early walkers and talkers. Many take tremendous pride in their childrens early accomplishments.In my personal opinion,there is no such thing as (Potty TRAINING)instead,its potty LEARNING.A parent cannot force a child to TRAIN.You can't shame them into it,you can't beat it out of them,and making them clean up their own bowel movements won't do it either.I thought I'd cover those,because you'll hear those ideas here.The child has to be physically capable,but additionally,he has to decide that its something he (WANTS TO DO)In other words,be psychologically ready as well.I have done some research,on the subject,and can tell you,that boys do tend to take longer to learn.The best advice I could give you,is,if you still have him in pull-ups.Set a date,to remove them from the home.Take your son to Pick out some boys underwear.Ones he chooses.Then tell him,that your throwing all the pull-ups away,because he is to big for them now.You will be amazed at how few accidents he has.When he does have an accident,treat it very matter of fact.Help him,by reminding him to go periodically. He will hate how uncomfortable it feels to be wet in underwear,thus making his own decision to LEARN. to use the toilet.The reason he tells you he isn't ready,is because psychologically,(HE feels YOU don't think hes ready EITHER)If You have him in the pull ups. I know i'm assuming here,about the pull-ups,but you didn't say,and i'm guessing,that is whats holding him back. I wish you and your darlin son the very best. J.

Hi A.,
My son is 5 and I have to remind him sometimes because he gets engrossed in his games or whatever he's doing. When he was wetting his pants in preschool I found that a Sticker Chart worked to stop the problem. He got a sticker for every day he stayed dry. After a certain number of stickers (you pick) he gets a present or a treat. We tried this for about a month and it stopped the problem. I left the chart up for a few months as a reminder. He made it through Kindergarten without any accidents.

The good news is that your son will stop doing this. Hopefully soon. Remind him that he doesn't want to wet his pants in front of his friends in school so he needs to start paying attention to when he as to go. If he is still having the problem when school starts, explain it to the teacher and I am sure she will help make sure he makes regular visits to the toilet.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

Hi A.,

You didn't mention any constipation issues, but if he tends to get constipated and doesn't go on a regular basis, it can affect his ability to "hold it" if he is backed up. It's happened to my son before, so just thought I'd mention it. Good luck!

Like a few have said don't worry too much about it. I have a 7 year old and he did the same exact thing. He still has to be reminded at time to go in and go to the bathroom when he is consumed with something. They just don't want to stop. The good news at least with my son is that there has only been once that I had to go to the school and give him clothes.He had waited to long and(what we call it) dribbled in his underware and that is it. If you are that worried about it let his teacher know so that he/she can watch and ask him if he need to go. They do not want him to pee his pants either. They don't want him to miss anything.
Good Luck and enjoy the rest of the summer with your little ones don't let this get to you!

i did the 'malem alarm' when my son was EIGHT, & still having issues....it worked GREAT! its about $100 (worth every penny) & the problem was resolved in just a couple weeks!

My daughter was the same. In preschool, the teachers told me to tell her kinder teacher that she has an immature bladder and to let her go whenever she says that she has to. My daughter would start to wiggle, and you would ask her if she had to go and she would say no. Then a few minutes later she would either panic because she realized she couldn't wait or pee in her pants.

I told her teacher, and kept a change of clothes in the nurses office and the classroom (one time she had an accident twice in one day!) Her teacher got to know her signals, and would tell her to go, even if my daughter didn't think she had to. Also, because I told her kinder teacher that it was a medical problem, and told her right in the beginning, she was really willing to work with me. Over time, my daughter picked up on her body signals, but it did take time. She's 8 now, and every blue moon I have to look at her and say- go to the restroom. We kinda laugh about it now
Hope that helps!

My son occasionally "leaked" until 2nd grade, but he never peed his pants at school. It would really annoy me. I asked him why he would wet his pants at home and not at school and he said that there were no clean pants to change into at school! He did grow out of it, though. And if your son has an accident at school, peer pressure will probably be the best lesson.

This is not unusual, even with 6 and 7 year olds. It is nothing to worry about. Minimize the situation, know that it is no big deal. Keep reminding him as you are doing. Kindergarten and 1st grade teachers know the signs to watch for, and you might want to discreetly give his teacher a heads up, but this happens far more often at home than at school. Don't worry! He will grow out of it. :0)

Medically speaking, this would not be a problem until age 9 --so relax, let your son deal with the occasional accident, and I promise you that school will definitely help him remmeber to pee before it's too late. I have seen this happen many many times, and it is always little boys!! Relax Mom, enjoy your darling! Ali

Hi A....my 5 year old daughter was doing the same thing. She was just too distracted with having fun that she would wait to long. I too worried about her starting kindergarten this year. What i have been doing is asking her to go sit on the potty and count to 10 in English and then in Spanish (might as well make it educational :o) I do this at random times, even if she's not showing signs that she needs to go. That has really cut down on the accidents. Also, whenever you're not at home, especially in an unfamiliar place, right when you get there show him where the bathroom is. So when they feel the urge to go, they know there is a bathroom available. That has really helped as well. She used to have at least one accident a week. We're down to once every couple of months now. Hope these ideas will work for you too...good luck!

my sister had this problem with her son. They bought a watch with an alarm. They set it to go off every hour. when the alarm went off he had to go use the bathroom. No matter where they were she would find a bathroom for him to use. It didn't take too much time and now he is no longer sing the watch or having accidents. Good luck!

My 6 year old boy still has a similar issue, but he's been getting so much better. It does seem to be an issue of being so engrossed in his own activities that he doesn't want to stop and go to the bathroom. We've had to remind him frequently to use the bathroom and send him to the potty (don't ask if he needs to go) when we see him doing the potty dance. He is growing out of it, though he still waits to go to the bathroom until it is an emergency and he is running to make it. We hope he'll grow out of that too. Talk to him about what his friends at school will say if he wets himself, maybe peer pressure will help him to make the necessary changes. If this concerns you further, or you don't feel he is improving, you can take him to the doctor to see if there is a medical reason for his accidents.

hi. This can be very normal or there may be a problem with his bladder or urethra. You need to explore medical issues with your doctor and if nothing is found then understand that he is only 5 and that is not so terribly old to have occasional accidents. Try and put him on a bathroom schedule. Go before school and right when you drop him off too. remind him to go at recess and then when you pick him up again from school another trip. He will get used to it and the accidents will probably stop.