5 Year Old Sleeping in Her Own Room

Is there anything wrong with sleeping together, for now? It does not need to be anyone's "fault", instead it can be a very nice solution.

I am a divorced mother (for 4 years) of a now 8 year-old girl. We live in a one-bedroom apt by choice and share a bedroom. We have a bunk bed (double on bottom, twin on top) but most nights she's with me (she's with Dad 1/2 the time) we share the double bed. It's her way of spending as much time with Mom as possible. I don't mind it either, for that same reason. She is the most well-adjusted kid I know - independent, out-going, doing great in school, lots of friends, etc. She sailed through the adjustment to two households like a breeze. She just likes close time with Mom.

This is a really horrible habit and probably not the best advice, but does she have a TV in her room? I let my daughter fall asleep to a movie. She is 5 1/2 and I did the whole co-sleeping (because she is my little princess) thing and it was a nightmare getting her to sleep in her own room/bed. Letting her sleep in there with a movie and setting the sleep timer on the TV is the only thing that has really worked. Like I said, not the best advice, but hey - it works!

She is only 5. You are newly single and work many hours a week.

Maybe it’s her way of wanting to be close to you. Is there anyway you 2 can share a room for now? Even if you put her mattress on your floor?

Trust me! She will not be in your room forever! This too shall pass. Just give her time and be patient.

Sounds to me like she needs some mommy time and has found a way to get some.

that is kids. Childhood.
At certain ages, developmentally, they get 'fears' and night time fears.
Normal.

We have a futon on the floor of our room.
Our kids can sleep there as need be.
No biggie.
It works for us.

As I child I was like that too. I grew out of it.
My parents let me be with them in their room.

my 7 yr old does the same thing I have a tv in her room that helps somrtimes I let her watch tv and se wants her lite on so I leave the lite on till she falls alsleep then I turn it off and on the days she wont go in her room I let her fall alsleep on the couch then when she is sleeping I put her in her bed

This may seem silly but have you put a lock on her closet door? I had to switch the knobs on my daughter's door w/her closet because when she was 2 she would constantly lock herself in her room (and bathroom I did the same!). She slept with up until last year most nights but when she did sleep in her room she would always lock her closet cuz "it was scary"! - The knob her closet has only recently been changed only because after 11 years of inspections, housing finally noticed and changed it! (which took her awhile to get used to!) Maybe if you locked her closet or blocked and sat with her for a little while then gradually lessened the time? Good luck!

My daughter turned 6 0n Saturday. I have let her sleep with us because my husband works long hours and I feel like we have more time together. I told her she s 6 and six year olds sleep in their own beds. It has worked so far. I keep telling her this and I am not giving her an option. If she wakes up, I tell her to go back to bed she is not sleeping with us tonight. Of,course, I have only been doing this for 3 nights!

Is it really a problem??? With all that time away from her with your work, you probably both need the closeness. My son slept in our bed on and off until he was 6 or 7 and I miss those snuggly times. He is 17 now with a girlfriend and is a very sweet young man. Humans are meant to be close to each other. There is a pediatrition out there (Dr. Sears, I believe) that doesn't think co-sleeping or a family bed is a problem and I don't either. Your child will definitely out grown it at some point. If you truly do not get YOUR needed sleep with her in your bed, then you will just have to bite the bullet and help her through her adjustment period. Sears has pointers on how to do that. Not easy!

Have you considered just letting this go? She is clearly needing to be close to you. Sleeping in the same bed with your child is not a bad thing especially if she isn't disturbing time with a spouse. Take a look at co-sleeping websites. You might decide that the trouble and stress of trying to get her to sleep in her own bed just isn't worth it. My 8 year old used to climb in our bed almost every night when she was 4 or 5 but now has totally out grown the habit. Now my 5 year old does the same thing. He started kindergarten this year and I think the stress of big changes made him want to be closer to us. I love sleeping next to my kids, it's a bonding experience like sleeping with a baby on your chest and I know it won't last long. Soon they grow up. My vote is to just let her do it for now. I do think though that she should be getting 10 to 12 hours of sleep a night. She needs to go to bed before you do.

Good luck.

Sounds like she's adjusting to changes in her life. Before you take the advice of those who suggested a TV in her room, I strongly recommend you look into the effects of that. That can make sleep issues worse. The lights from TVs and computer screens interfere with the body's natural process of falling asleep. I recommend Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Sleepless in America," and she might discuss that effect. I think whether or not you allow her to sleep with you is a personal preference. Our oldest son slept with us off and on until he was 9 with no long term negative effects on his sleep habits. He quit coming to our room on his own and sleeps just like a normal teenager now.

I would really recommend a scheduled sleep time (dr recommended 10hrs for her age)...my daughter is 5yrs too and I use a calendar with stickers for each night she sleeps in her own bed. Then I give her a choice of a special" outing" if she completes a full week of stickers. (With this she actually she's her accomplishment (with the stickers put on each morning) and gets to do something fun as well. (And I always make sure to follow through with her special outing request as long as within reason)...Oh and I too am a single mom but really try to keep a routine for both of us... :) Good luck!

My 5 year old daughter has crawled in our bed since she got out of her crib. We have allowed her to, until recently. She is a big girl and none of us are tiny, so there is not much room on our King sized bed. I just started telling her she had to sleep in her own bed and I started by taking her back to her bed and waiting until she fell back asleep because she is scared too.

So when she wakes up, my husband likes to tell her to climb in bed because that is the easiest thing for him, but she has been telling him no and wakes me up, so I can put her back in bed. It's not the best situation, but it is a good start.

She did crawl in our bed the other day and said there was no room for her.

Is the closet door closed? When my youngest son was 3 or so he would wake up screaming "there's a man in my closet! There's a man in my closet!" I think it was probably the clothes hanging in the closet looked like a person so I made sure the closet door was closed each night and that helped. You may try getting some glow in the dark star stickers and put them on the closet door and on the ceiling. It might make it more peaceful for her.

I agree w/Matisse. And, she is going through a lot of changes, but you still also need to establish a routine & what you'd like the outcome to be. Nightlights are great. There's a time when a child does need reassurance, and you can do that by going to her & reassuring her, guiding her to close her eyes, think of her favorite place (and/or princess land) and sleep. If she has a stuffed animal or lovey, utilize that. I also run a humidifier, and it kind of makes a water/bubbly sound, so that also seems to help. Our 4 year old does so much better sleeping in his own room. Seems like every 1.5-2 years there's a period of going through night terrors or the closet or a change in development, apart from the life changes they experience. I do hope these suggestions are helpful :o).

Lots of changes going on in her life.
During the day show her her room, and explain that she is safe.

You can either begin telling her there are no monsters they are all make believe or you can go in another direction and go with her imagination.

There was a mom her on this sight that talked about monster spray.
It is a spray bottle filled with water write on it "Monster Spray". Before she goes to bed, she can spray it around her closet, under her bed,, where ever a monster may be. She can keep it next to her bed, so she can spray it in the night if needed.

When I was little my mother told me that if I have a bad dream and wake up, I just needed to roll to my side and the dream would go away.. It still works for me.. Let your daughter help to figure out ways to solve this problem.

Our daughter loved to fall asleep with a book on CD. If she woke up, she would just start the CD over again..

What is scary about the closet? Does it make a weird shadow, are there strange noises, is she afraid there's something inside? My kids keep flashlights by their beds (in case they need to check out suspicious noises or shapes), have clip on lamps for looking at books briefly if they can't sleep, and a radio that has a sleep timer I set at 40 minutes after I say goodnight. The flashlights are hardly used anymore, the lamps once in a great while, but the radio goes on every night. It has made nighttime much less eventful; now if I could just get the baby to sleep longer!

A couple of things here. You may have a ghost. Kids can often see them when we can't. Get some sage incence and burn it in her room with the closet door open. It may get rid of the ghost, you can also ask it to leave or stop scaring your child. If you try this you should feel a difference in the energy in the room.
Or try 'monster spray' I used a trigger spray bottle and put a little of my perfume in the water and sprayed under the windows, around the bed, by the door ect in my son's room when he was little. Since he believed he was 'protected' it worked. A friend of mine used rose scented air freshener, just take a piece of paper and cover the label on the can and write 'Monster Spray' on the paper. As long as her kids could smell he air freshener they felt safe.

My daughter started that around the same age. No changes in our lives either... First she slept in bed with us but eventually that woke me up so much I couldn't take it anymore. Now she's on a mattress on the floor. She's been like this since she was a baby - not liking to sleep alone. I work full time too so figured sleeping w/ her was a way to give her more mommy time. My youngest never needed it btw so I think it's personality. I would put a mattress on your floor and let her join you. She just wants to be close to you. It won't last forever.

congrats mom for following your instincts and letting your child know that her feelings are important and a priority night or day! :) :) some people will tell you that you are stupid or foolish for ever letting her sleep in your bed at all, but you made the decision for you and your family, and thats the best thing you can do is listen to your heart! :):) my son is 4 and he still comes in to our bed half way through the night. :) we love it, even if it means we get kicked or uncomfortable. we can always move him if we get too bothered. ;) one day he will stop doing this, and i know we are going to miss it, im taking advantage of every second! :):) and theres never anything wrong with letting your child be near you, growing more and more confident in your security! :):) its beauiful!

just go slow. if you can, arrange for a bed in your room on the floor or something. thats a start! then you can start by having her in her room, and if/when she wakes up she can come to you again. how to get her to sleep there in the first place is harder, try white noise or calm music, light blocking shades, and a squirt bottle of water for "monster spray" if that would work for you. obviously a night light can help, or hurt, depending on said shadows.
but just keep being the mom you are. you are doing awesome. trust me, she WILL sleep in her own bed. even if it takes time, you wont regret this time with her, and niehter will she ;)

My daughter has started night time fears, she is 4 1/2 years old. I think it is a mixture of things, she does not want me to go to work at night (even though daddy is home and she really is only awake for one more hour after I leave for work), fear of dark and those strange outdoor noises.

I promise that when I get home from work (midnight sometimes later) that I will give her a hug and kiss. Sometimes she is half awake, other times out like a light but I still do it. It helps reassure her I am there for her.

If daddy is away on a trip she gets to cuddle in our bed and sometimes sleep there... but that is rare. Sometimes I sleep in her room, also very rare.

I have been told that in time she will outgrow it. For now I do my best to reassure her, has a night light and it seems to be getting a little better (less worried about going to sleep).