Everything Is Spooky

You have had so many responses and I also was going to tell you about the "monster spray". But I also have another idea as well. Putting a small fish tank in the childs room is helpful. The bubbles sound is soothing and you can leave the light off or on, depending on the child. I think it also helps them knowing that there is a "friend" in the room with them. They can help pick out the fish for it, gold fish are a good one, since they are inexpensive. My daughter had a tank in her room for years, sometimes without a fish. Good Luck

Hi J.

Boy can I relate - my son went through something very similar - what worked for us was creating 'Monster Spray' basically a spray bottom with a little bit of food coloring in it - it doesn't stain and worked great for us. We would start out our bedtime routine spraying everything that could be scary and then we would set it by his bed to keep and of the scary friends from coming back.

Good Luck - C.

J.,
I do not know what is your feeling about nin-traditional and alternative medicine and such, but I would suggest thus:

it is not about your lovely girl
who is sensitive to subtle energies,
it is about the place.

the room needs cleansing
and rearranging.

for this you need:
incense, candles, soft soothing music, your caring love.

In Walmart, they have either incense sticks or cones,
find what is to your taste for smell,
I'd suggest sandal as opposed to 'dragon blood"
for the lil girl's room.
maybe take her with you, and let her choose the aroma that she will like: there are some gentle flower smells too.

five candles. NOT AROMA CANDLES,
do not mix two aromas into one: let the incense do that job.
Just regular candles.
if they have but white, fine,
if not, different colors are good too.

New Age kind of music is okay,
or the therapeutic, healing,
massage music they call it also, that will do.

Now, with all this stuff, go to her room.
Sit down for awhile, feel the place,
let your thoughts wander but do keep attention on the place:
how does it FEEL???!!!
Peace, disturbance, sad, happy, concern, fear, tranquil what do you FEEL !? Just notice it.

Turn on the soft soothing music that you have chosen to help you cleansing the subtle energies that disturb your girl's sleep.

Keep the door open, open window would be good too.

Lit the incense, put it in the midst of the room (floor, chair)
Let it burn all the way, the aroma will be a little strong, but extra will fade away.

Lit the candles, place one into each corner, and one in the midst of the room (you have five, right?)

Now take one more incense stick, lit it, ad very slowly walk with it in your hand through the room: if you can dance, that would be most wonderful,
as thus you share your own happy energy leaving your trace in this place.
Next, go with the lit incense stick to every corner of the room, and hold it to the very corner, moving along the wall, from the very bottom and up, and back again so that every speck of the space in every corner gets strongly influenced by the aroma AND your own free will of making this place a very happy space. walk trhough all four corners.

Do the same walk through the corners with the candle hat you have lit in the middle of the room. Yes, you already have candles in every corner, I remember. Now, intensify this Light with your WILL of lightening up every gloomy spot.

If you could make some dancing motions in the room with the candle in your hand, tracing beautiful light-lines, that would be perfect, too.

Once you are done moving around,
sit down again,
close your eyes,
try to get the feeling of how it is now.
Any changes?

Maybe, you will need to do this Rite over for seven days in a row, but do it with a lot of love in your heart, and with no doubt!

Another tip:
in your girl's room:do fun and happy stuff with HER:
so that it becomes HER HAPPY PLACE:
read stories, play, DANCE TOGETHER, do lots of laughing and such...
she needs to feel HOME there more than anyplace else,
and please remember that
although we busy adults are not so sensitive to the subtleties
of the places,
our little children ARE:
they feel it like a light breeze,
and by catching the vibes, they react accordingly.

So yes, after you've done about three cleansing days yourself,
I would invite the owner of the room (your girl)
to help you doing the dancing and happy-energy-filling,
and do it together, including incense and candles.

My girl loved incense, and she often walked around, dancing with the stick in her hand.
She might also like falling asleep with the lit candle,
not the more light that is artificially electric powered,
because the natural light has extra effect on the space.

This is my advice: J., before you say NAY, maybe you would like to try... :)

Wishing you all Happy days and nights!!!

When I was a kid, my dad once told me "it's okay to be scared". I don't think it worked for good, but apparently I went back to sleep that night! I love the stuff I've read about spraying "monster spray" - I've seen several references to that and it working well for people. My daughter's 2, so I'm sure we'll be there soon enough!

Okay, there's only a small chance this will work, but here goes.

When my daughter became scared in her room at night, we grabbed a portable spray bottle and filled it with "spook spray" (water). Then we'd spray it around her closet and window, etc., when she got scared. (Try to get a new little spray bottle at the store, so it looks like you actually purchased "spook spray", and make a big deal about it when she watches you take it from a shopping bag, already filled with water. Maybe put some magical stuff to float in there, like sparkly things or colored pebbles.)

Good luck!

We have used an air freshener as monster or spooky spray. Make a label and tape it over the top of the can of air freshener. Help her spray it before she goes away and enphisize that it gets rid of all scary things for the entire night.

My dad used to come in our room to scare things away at bed time. That worked for us. You tale the kids that scary things are scared away. Have him check under the bed and in the closet and behind things

I hope this helps. Good luck, I know this is not fun.

J.,
I don't know what your religion is, but I believe that children are very sensitive to the things of the spirit. Perhaps there really is something there that she can sense and you cannot. May I suggest that you pray with her? Help her feel that God is there protecting her and nothing bad can hurt her. Then pray alone and ask God to make whatever is disturbing her to leave. I have done that with my own children and the result has been a peaceful child and no more bad dreams or fear at all. God's power is very real and children can feel it.
Good luck!
P.

J.,

I used a book called "What to Do When You Dread Your Bed". I got it from the library. Another friend found it worked well too. Our kids were a bit older, around 8, but it might still work for you.

K.

What she may be experiencing is night terrors. One of my sons had it for a while. They get some very bad dreams. My pediatrician said that some kids just get them and they will grow out of them fairly quickly. I believe my son's lasted about a month or so. BUT it's been a long time (15 years) so I really don't remember all that clearly how long they lasted. You might want to check with your pediatrician. If she has a bed big enough, why don't you try laying down with her in her bed?

I found a brighter night light made mor shadows. so one thing is to look and remove all her toys. Or we took out the night light and had the bathroom light on instead. also found that car lights came in the blinds. so we spent some talking about that. We also made up stories during the day for the princess scaring monsters. Mine has a little brother so she would go into his room and monster proof it because that is what princeses do.... so get her imagination in gear. the idea is to give her a sense of control. and first thing, rearange her room. I had her help me for like an hour aranging and sorting things in new spots. Move the bed (plan ahead aof time to look where the light of the street comes in,etc. and point thebed so she can se out the door while laying there. But have her involved so she has a sense of control. and know, it will pass. Give up slep for a week is worth not having a litle one in your bed for years!

I've always allowed my children to sleep in my room--I have never understood not. I do have rules though. At this age, I'd insist the night starts in her bed, if she wakes up scare or whatever other thing she can come in BUT she sleeps on the FLOOR. It's now big deal. Especially if you have alread established your bed is not for her, you'll want to have a blanket on the floor and THAT is her safe place in the middle of the night--not your bed. Sometimes all they need is knowing there's a excape without any pressure that still provides boundaries. You can even add in moving her back into her bed once she's fallen into a deep sleep.

Another thing you may want to consider is ridding the room of shadows...night shadows are the worst. Get some black out blinds, or put something like a towel, blanket, or tin foil in the window.

You may also want to ask around the day care to see what kind of stories are being passed around by the older kids. Bigger kids like to scare little ones with stories of monsters and such.

Get the moster spray--or make your own...

Pray with wee one.

Be firm with your boundaries but flexible enough for her to trust her with her feelings...you're gonna need that in practice when she's older.

My 4 year old went throught the same thing around the same age. He kept telling me there was a monster in his room. He described it as four-legged, with sharp teeth and red eyes. He had tears rolling down his face. I didn't want to dicredit him by telling him there was no such thing as monsters-he was pretty convinced it was real. So, we have a dog who would sleep in his room and told him that the dog eats monsters to grow big and strong. It worked for a few days. After about a week, he told me Poopy (the dog) couldn't see the monster and the monster was staring at him. I took a bottle of Febreze in his room and asked him where the monster was. He pointed in the corner. I sprayed the corner telling my son it was "monster spray." I told him that monsters hate the smell and they HAVE to go away. It worked for him. I don't know if it's the power of their imagination that creates these things, but if so, it also takes the power of their imagination to make them go away.

If you don't have a dog, maybe get her a stuffed dog to sleep with. Nightlights are helpful, unless it's casting a weird shadow that might frighten her more. Or music? Have you tried putting on a CD on repeat so she'll have music through the night.

Most assuredly it IS a phase, but there's nothing worse than your little one being afraid and not knowing how to comfort them. Good luck.

Do you let your kids watch any "scary" tv shows like Scooby Doo? I never let my older kids watch this stuff when they were little, but my younger ones watch it some since they have older siblings and I have had more trouble with them being scared at night than the older ones. I had a friend who had this problem and it turned out to be from watching animal type shows on PBS. (The kind where tigers eat antelopes). Of course, the kid was too young to just say she was scared of the tv show, but eventually my friend figured it out.

We went through something like this with my daughter at around the same age. Several of my girlfriends have also dealt with this. The good news is that it will pass. The bad news is that if your daughter is like mine you're in for about 6 months of it. Here's how we coped (or really, just weathered the storm).

We got her a bottle of "monster spray" - a mister filled with a little natural scent made with lavender - for her to spray her room with before bed. We got a "no bad dreams" bed net (reasonable at Target) to hang over her bed. Each of these helped some, but on bad nights we did either let her into our bed or one of us slept with her. We reached a point where getting everyone back to sleep was more important to us than keeping her out of our bed. (As a bonus, we had a new baby during all this.)

Just keep telling yourself that this is a normal stage of development and it will pass.

When my daughter when through a phase of waking up at night we put a strand of blue Christmas lights up in her room. They aren't too bright, but all of us could see everything in the room. We used to leave them on all night now she just needs them to fall asleep. One other thing that helped us was if she was really awake and scared (and not just half awake) she would say a prayer about what was making her scared. Good luck and I hope you get some sleep soon.

Take her fears seriously - you'd want us to take yours. But, deal with the spookies on their level. It's a psychological thing, so attack it at that level.

Empower her by getting a spray bottle, put water and something like peppermint or some other essential oil and label it "Monster Spray." Describe to her how it makes monsters melt with just one spritz (like the witch in The Wizard of Oz).

Let her spray to her hearts content! Spray before bedtime wherever she thinks monsters live - closets, under the bed, and see if she doesn't feel a little bit more secure.

Also - Monsters Inc. shows how all these scary monsters are really scared of kids.

If she will sleep with the lights on, just put lower wattage bulbs in her overhead light. And say, "okay honey then lets sleep with the light on and nothing will be scary."

Also during the day, make shadows with light coming in through your south facing windows. Show her how to make them and how they can be fun.

One night when my little boy was three, he came to me scared to death and told me that there was a witch on his ceiling and said she talked to him. I asked him if it was a dream and he told me that it wasn't. He had seen her with his eyes open. I think he even said "she talked funny," or even laughed. He is six now and to this day he still insists that she was real. I believe spooky things can happen. My husband insists on him going back to his room and sleeping because "there is nothing to be scared of and he needs to sleep in his own room." I've had plenty of spooky experiences myself, non of which I share with my son, so I don't force him to go back to his room until he is ready. I think it was because I was forced to go back to my room instead of having my parents talk me through the situation that I am still jumpy when I hear a noise that I can't explain. So be understanding and don't rush through it. Your child will learn how much you care and consider their feelings when you try and take care of the problem. My boys don't like the shadows that look like something else. My husband bought the book, Berenstein Bears: "Scared of the Dark." It talks about seeing the shadows for what they really are instead of being something scary. Good Luck.

Let her in your bed in my opinion. I have four girls and we've been there with all of them. The 3 older girls are all in their beds now. And I need my sleep. Our two year old just started this. She's scared at night and if I leave her alone anywhere in the house. It's ridiculous, but it's real and I know she needs me, even if it drives me nuts! Another thing that helped was praying for God to protect them (if you do this) and telling them daddy and mommy were here and he will protect them. The more assured they are of that the faster they will get over it, even if it means letting them sleep with you a couple of weeks.

A natural remedy that can also symbolize the clearing of energy, is to spray pure organic Lavender Hydrosol (flower water) around her bed, on the pillow and on your daughter. You can say it is a magical game to get rid of spooky things. And the bonus, Lavender is calming and relaxing. So she will calm down and (hopefully) fall asleep soundly.
Sweet dreams,
L. Golub, Clinical Herbalist
Holistic Pathways
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We went through this same thing with several of our seven children when they were little. The thing that worked best for us was that we kept a little blanket beside our bed and when they came in scared we would comfort them and then let them sleep on the floor next to our bed. That way they felt comforted and safe, but everyone still had a comfortable sleep. It worked well for us. Good luck!

I know everyone has already responded and you have included what happened. I actually have 33 month old boy who does the same thing. He is afraid of bad people, who look like black monsters. He has described the "bad peoples" as black monsters. So I can relate, my son is also big and strong, and I can relate with the exhaustion. We have tried just a nice smelling Lysol spray. It seemed to calm him down. Yet, he still wakes up with a sweat. Like you we just finally get him to bed. My husband will not let him into our bed, so we go in his room and rub his back until he calms down and sleeps again. In fact he woke up last night insisting he needed to go potty, so again I was up for about an hour with him again. I so hope and pray this is a stage. I hope you get some well needed rest soon. M.