Child Won't Sleep in Her bedroom...convinced a Monster Is in There!

Updated on January 30, 2009
L.C. asks from Round Lake, IL
21 answers

I am posting this for a friend...her daughter is almost 4 and she has not slept in her room for 9 months now because she is so petrified. They've tried everything to help her but nothing worked. Now she doesn't even want to go in there during the day. She said that she thinks it's because she can hear the icemaker making sounds, but she's not sure. Any advice/experience with this kind of a situation?

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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

Things might be too far gone for this tip, but I have used "monster spray" before for monsters under the bed, and it has worked!

S.
Mom of 4yo and 7yo

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

Maybe the parents can change bedrooms with her. That way they'll know if the child is doing it just for the attention of being with mom and dad.

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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

Haven't they had the monster exterminator come in yet or the magical fairy who spreads her magical dust to protect all from harm?

We had a friend, that she didn't know show up with a sprayer and a red flashlight. He introduced himself as the monster exterminator, he sprayed the whole house. He did a great job. Then he said since he knew it was extra important to keep them away he would send over the magical fairy and have her dust to complete his job. I sprayed adhesive on her walls right before my other friend came over and threw around some special fairy dust(glitter) and it stuck to her walls and the fairy gave her a flashlight to shine on her walls if she ever felt scared to make sure the fairy dust was still protecting her.

Elaborate yes, did it work yes, in one afternoon it was taken care of she 2 years later uses the flashlight to check her protection level. It is still there.

We tried the home monster spray, she said it doesn't work. We agree to call in a professional.

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N.W.

answers from Chicago on

Reminds me of a funny related story.

My stepdaughter started to be scared at night. She said that there were monsters in her closet because she could hear them breathing loudly! Well, her closet was on the same wall as OUR bedroom wall...and you can imagine what the "breathing" sounds actually were...LOL!!!!!

She was coming in bed with us at first because she was scared, but of course the monster sounds stopped (LOL!) and after a few nights we realized that she was using it as an excuse to continue to sleep with us.

We strung white Christmas lights up on her bed and told her the lights would protect her from the monsters. We also started playing a soft soothing music CD in her room. If she got up in the night we'd walk her back to her own bed.

It worked...and also the "monsters" in the closet learned to wait until she was fast asleep before having any monster fun!!

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

I banished the monsters. I talked to my daughter (or the child I was babysitting when I wasn't a mom yet) and found out where the monsters were. Then I had the child tell the monster to leave, that monsters weren't allowed. For my daughter that was all that was needed. For another girl I babysat we had to make a trail of candy to have the monster leave the house. Both kids were monster free that night and forever on.

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

I had a cousin used
"monster be gone spray".
Every night they would spray this all around the room.
A spray bottle with water.

Good Luck!

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T.E.

answers from Chicago on

First have the child watch the wizard of oz so she can see the wicked witch melt with water being poured on the witch causing the witch to melt. Get a mist spray bottle and tell the child that the monsters disolve with water so she can mist them away. Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

We had a similiar problem, not as severe though. We took a can of air freshener and said it was monster spray and that monsters don't like the smell and we sprayed it by all the windows and doors so the monster would not get in. It seemed to work. It doesn't however solve the problem of believing there is a monster but at 4 what can you do.

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K.P.

answers from Chicago on

I'm sure they've tried the spray bottle trick to spray the monsters away before she goes in her room during day/night/anytime now...and of course reassuring her simply that monsters are only pretend and not real. My daughter also has a "lovie" (stuffed animal) that she picks each night and these can protect/keep the monsters away as well as our dog, but sometimes the dog of course leaves so this doesn't work, but the stuffed animal helps. We're trying to get our soon-to-be 4 yr. old back in her bedroom after sleeping in our bed for the last 18 mos. as she use to sleep in her bedroom fine until she started having lots of recurring ear infections/allergy problems/health issues..and then it became a habit. We have been building towards "when you turn 4" you have to sleep in your own room cuz' big 4 yr. olds do that, especially if you want to have sleepovers, etc...We just got her a big girl full-sized bed last week as she outgrew her toddler day bed and she's now been sleeping in her room every night since we the day we got it...however, we have to start out laying with her until she falls asleep, which we've been doing now for a month even when she was trying to sleep in her toddler bed. She's stayed in her bed all night 3 or 4 days out of 7 not waking up, and on the other nights wakes up in middle of night and comes to our room or downstairs to get us(Her fear/desire/issue is not wanting to be alone) , but went right back in her bed/bedroom without a fight and went right back to sleep. We've talked about with her about how next week we will begin to have her lay down on her own after we do our bedtime rituals (read books, say prayer, etc...)...we will see how this goes as we are trying to wean her or take baby steps to independently doing the bedtime thing. She gets a Big "Caught Being Good Note" if she sleeps/stays in her bedroom all night (even for going back into her room if she wakes up) in which she can use these notes to buy/participate in activities that she has a chart for. These are used/given out also with other "good" things she gets caught doing during the day. (i.e., 5=pick a movie,game,activity to play with mommy/daddy, etc... 10=playing with playdough, etc... 15=ride the merry-go-round, go sledding, 20=playdate with friend, go to the park, movies, restaurant, etc...Hope this helps...it's a real challenge!!!
Our pediatrician stated that laying down with her until she falls asleep is not the way to go as she is learning not "how to be go to sleep alone" and feeling secure that we are still there since we are not there when she wakes up and this totally makes sense, but easier said than done right!? He has said you need to determine how many times you are going to walk her back into her bed, determine consequences, and then to stand by the door to hold the door closed if she tried to come out of her bedroom after walking her back the # of times you've determined and/or that some people put the lock knobs on the inside, but this was terrifying for her as I just tried to hold the door closed one night after walking her back 3-4 times and this was so not what I believed in, especially after having night terrors as a kid myself until I was like 6...I swore there were scary clowns in my room and snakes in my bed, so I can sympathize/empathize...my mom used to actually find me asleep in the closet as that is where I would hide from them!!! Shari P.

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

Have you tried soothing music to drown out the sound of the Ice maker?

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter doing say thing I think it was just an excuse to sleep withus. I started putting soft bedtime music and each time she slept all night in her bed I gave her a sticker and after 2 wks I took her chuck e cheese. If she is not into sticker find something she likes I'm just blessed sticker worked for potty too but my kids loves stickers good luck u need ur sleep too don't feel bad putting her back to her bed

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T.L.

answers from Chicago on

can they turn off the ice maker at night? Its just a button? Also maybe the child did have a scary dream that seemed realistic. Maybe if they slept in the room with her a few times. I dont know though shes scared to go in their during the day? I used to watch a child and one night she had a really high fever and her mom told me she was talking to things that were not there. When I cam in to work the next day the child told me how there were things in her room. Maybe she experienced something like this and is scared. Mom should start going in the room a little each day and playing with her and see if she will at least start going in their during the day before even tackling night time

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L.C.

answers from Chicago on

Ive had this same issue with my 3yo since Halloween. Its a struggle every night. Its gotten a little better but not much. We leave the closet light on and walk in and out while he's falling alseep so he thinks we are in there with him. Its crazy but so far its the only way he will not get hysterical about monsters. She may have to sit in there while her child falls asleep, so she wont be afraid. Then slowy move towards the door every night. We put on the radio in his room too, so he cant hear anything else in the house. It drowns out the other noises. We tried the monster spray, but it did not make him any less afraid. Good luck with this one.

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K.K.

answers from Chicago on

Go Away Big Green Monster is a great book. I am very weird since I don't like the children to have stuffed sprayed in their room that they will be breathing in. So she could use a water bottle and put water in it and make a monster spray sticker and put on. That way she can spray it on anything and it will not hurt anything. I bough water bottles at the dollar store and filled them with glow in the dark paint. Nothing every came out and I told them that the lady at the store said that you can not see the spray but the monsters can. For two years they sprayed everything in the room every night. They even still have the bottles and keep them "just in case". Also, she has a good friend you can call her up and they can pretend to be the monsters mommy/daddy/police and they can act surprised about the monster in the room and say they will take care of it. That work for me one time too.

Good luck.

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

A friend of mine went through a similiar experience with her daughter...almost the same age. She used a bottle of air freshener and told her daughter it was monster spray and they would spray it all around her room. another friend used a water spritzer bottle and a label of monster spray. Since it was just water, she left it at her daughter's bedside and she could spray the monsters whenever she felt like it....maybe this could help...

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E.P.

answers from Chicago on

I think your friend needs to determine what kind of noise she is hearing. Then see if she can create any "white noise" or possibly soft music to conceal it or try to cease the noise. Monster spray, as the previous post suggested, is always a good idea. Where has her daughter slept for the last 9 months? Could have more to do with where she currently gets to sleep. If she is almost 4, and it really is a short time away, I would build on "her becoming 4" and that's where she is going to sleep. For the first night, I would camp out in her room. Maybe making a few little changes in her room, if possible (i.e. glow in the dark stars on the ceiling, sparkles - just be aware, if she puts in a night light, that can throw off shadows and it might have a negative effect). It's not uncommon for kids to develop fears when they go to bed, but, since it has gone one for 9 months, it may be hard to turn this around quickly. Good luck!

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A.A.

answers from Chicago on

My friend had a similar problem. After a bit of time, her husband went into their daughter's room with a black garbage bag, stuffed some dolls in it and closed it up and said, "I found that monster in the closet! We're taking him to the monster lost and found. I'm sure his parents are missing him..." and walked out of the house and got into the car and drove around for a bit and came home.

She's fine with being in her room again. I think "seeing" something come out of her room helped her to get over the monster in the room fear...

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

When my girls were scared to be in their room my ex came up with "monster spray" to get rid of the monsters. We let them spray their beds with "monster spray" aka febreeze. When that didn't work, I told them that the dog was on patrol and he wouldn't let ANY monsters in the house and that's why they heard him barking at night sometimes. He was keeping the monsters away. If they have already tried something like that...have they thought of everyone sleeping in her room one night to see if she can identify the cause of the noise and then show her what is making the noise that she hears?

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L.I.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter watched a show called lost tapes on animal planet at her friends house 2 months ago and ever since that she is scared of her own shadow--She wont sleep in her bed let a lone go in her room or even to the bathroom without bringing a cat or dog with her. We have just been letting her sleep in our room on the floor on a mattress and pray she grows out of this soon. My husband said this weekend he is going to try to lay in her bed with her until she falls asleep and see what happens--

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

How about a room makeover...rearranging the furniture and a new coat of paint could make it seem like a new room. The room color she picks could also be the color that monsters hate.

If she thinks the monster is under the bed, get rid of the bed frame to have the bed directly on the floor.

She and her mom should be playing in there during the day. Turn on the music and have a loud dance party, just to get her used to hanging out when it's bright.

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

L.,

They could check out emofree.com (Emotional Freedom Technique). It's especially effective with emotional stress, fears and traumas. And it's very easy to learn. Please let me know if you'd like more information.

Hope it helps.

J. K.

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