5-Year Old Granddaughter Constantly Crying

Try positive discipline. Praise her everytime she is seen doing something right. "wow, I love that you did not cry when grandma said you could not do that." A sticker cart where she earns a date alone with daddy may help to (or waht ever they decide she wants to work for) a sticker for each day with no fits. keep increasing the time between rewards.

It will probably get worse before it gets better. If she has not had real discipline and now he is stepping up since he knows her behavior is not normal or acceptable, she is going to try to rebel and try to get him to drop it. I used to work with a woman that took custody of her grandchildren when her daughter decided not to be a mom. They never had discipline. Grandma was not going to take their bad behavior and attempts to get away with everything. She had them for almost a year the last time I saw her but I have heard that since then, they have really shaped up. It is going to take some time though for A to realize that daddy is not going to put up with it or ignore it anymore. They just need to make sure everything is consistent with all the kids and on board with each other.

i make my kids go to their rooms as soon as the behavior starts. they aren't allowed out until the behavior is fixed. i absolutely refuse to listen to it. i turn into Linda Blair from the exorcist :)

I think I would consider taking her to a therapist. She is trying to control things because she didn't have control of what happened in her life. Kids aren't just mean IMO they act out or act up for a reason. She is probably afraid her Dad loves the other kids and not her anymore etc. Being a step child isn't easy, just think about it if your bio granddaughter had to go live with a new Mom or Dad it woudl be so upsetting to her. They would probably benefit from Family Therapy as well it isn't easy being a family when you are all bio kids but combining two families is really hard. Hope they find something that helps.

It sounds like that if there are no know health issues involved that you are working in the right direction already. Consistency is the key, which you already said they have been very consistent. The tantrums and whining getting worse my actually be a good thing. It may be her realizing that she can no longer control others with her attitude and is in distress because of it. Don't give up or give in. Continue to be consistent and I think she will come through. I know it is tough, but she will thank you for it when she is older. I have many times been thankful for all the time my parents punished me when I was a child. I would not be the person I am today if they had not punished me for wrong doing. Keep it up!!!!

I hate to even suggest this, but it may be more that just a learned behavioral problem. I have a son with diagnosed severe ADHD and you just described him prior to ADHD meds. In fact, he is 10 now and I decided to try to take him off his meds for the summer. It lasted less than a month. He became aggressive with his 5 year old brother and 3 year old sister and I was afraid he would hurt them. I put him back on meds this week and the difference was visible immediately.

Also, my 3 year old has been anemic several times since birth. I know when she is based on her behavior. She gets fussy, cries at the drop of a hat and wants things her way. The doctor will test her blood and inform me that she is and prescribe a iron supplement and in about a week her attitude improves.

I agree with those who talk about the step daughters behavior as a result of the divorce. I'm going to assume there is a lot left unsaid on here about that part of the situation. She is young now so I can assume she was pretty young when her parents split. And then what did she experience and witness before her parents split? Children can be very resilient but the younger they are when these things happen can also affect their neuro developement. Emotionally traumatic. They could develop attachment issues. I'm only saying this because Dad has custody. I'm definitly not saying that the decisions that led to this dynamic is wrong. Actually I have seen this when it's absolutely the right decision. But there are reasons mothers are favored in custody issues. So for dad to have custody tells me it's likely there was issue with mom. But from a small child's perspective her world has been turned upside down - she had Mom, then Dad became Mom, and maybe even Step-Mom became Mom. And when I say Mom, I mean primary caretaker which is usually mom. Developmentally this can be h*** o* a very young child. She could have developed attachment issues that creates behavior similar to ADHD, and even a little PTSD type symptoms. To me, the difference of this child and your bio granddaughter who has has her Mom the entire time is proof. With that said, I agree therapy could help, but for these type issues I feel very strongly that therapy happens in the home, through daily interactions. So the right therapist in this scenerio should give the family lots of homework. Actions speak louder than words (which is why she acts out). Every action you speak of is out of fear. Address the fear while adressing the behavior. Google Love & Logic. Discipline with love and empathy and patience. This shows the child that their parent understands they are scared, will be their rock, but will not tolerate the behavior. Consistency is key so that's great they have that. Trust and attachment will eventually help these behaviors disipate. Like someone else had said, the behavors get worse before they get better as they try to battle for control of their environment - since the child has fundamentally learned not to trust others not to turn her life upside down.

my kids whine and cry when dads not around, mainly because they try me. he doesn't put up with it, so, they never try that stuff with him. I've found if I punish and they start crying, I have to threaten something worse. For instance, he hit his sister, so, I make him come inside and have a time out. He starts wailing and whimpering and crying. I stop him in his tracks when I say, if you dont stop that right now, you wont go out for the rest of the day. If they are sent to thier room and start crying, I tell them if they dont dry it up right now, I will close thier bedroom door. They stop immediately.

I agree with JB this is a difficult position for a 6 year old. family therpaist will tell them the best way to deal with her IN the mean time many parents give up a discipline routine because it doesnt work fast enough, then after a while they try something different. consistency is the key. "I cant understand you when you talk like that" and "I wont give you what you want if you ask in a whiny voice" Try to give her what she wants when she asks nicely

I think, this Step-Daughter is not getting what she needs emotionally.
I think the problem is Daughter (A).
How old is Daughter (A)?
She sounds... like a Bully.
WHY... is she allowed to act that way?

Younger children should NOT have to defend themselves against a "manipulative" and dysfunctional older sibling like that.

As a result the 6 year old is very unhappy it seems.
Kids act like that when they are not happy.
Unless she is merely learning to be as manipulative as sibling (A), because, that is all she sees. That sibling (A), is influencing her.
In a bad way.

I assume, the sibling (A) is older?
Sorry your post was confusing.