4 Month Old Not Sleeping

I just want to say that there is nothing wrong with letting your child sleep in your bed. In fact, co-sleeping has many supporters in the attachment parenting world. James Mckenna is a researcher who has done lots of studies on co-sleeping. His conclusion is that small children should be in bed with an adult, and cosleeping/breastfeeding REDUCES the rate of SIDS.

I have slept with all of my kids from birth until they were around age 3. I nursed while sleeping, and was well rested because of it. My 8 and 5 year old girls currently sleep together and have for the past 2 years. My 2 year old still sleeps with us. I am pregnant with my 4th baby and he will sleep with us as well. I don't have any intentions of forcing the 2 year old out until she is ready.

It's not unusual for a 4 month old baby wake up during the night. She is a little young for cereal in her bottle. Maybe she is getting a stomach ache from it or has some type of reflux. Her digestive system is still developping and it is not scientifically proven that a baby that gets cereal before bedtime sleeps better. For some older babies it works, and for some it doesn't. When I got my son used to sleeping in his crib, I put him on his tummy and it helped him sleep longer. You also mentioned that she may manipulate you but I think she is too young to do that. If she cries, then she needs something or she is hurting. She could have a bad dream and when she wakes up, she realizes that you are not there. Does she sleep better when she is with you? I would keep her with me for now and just put her in her crib for naps and allow her to get adjusted to her room. Also, start playing with her in her room every day so that it gets familiar to her.

I'm sure there will be people who disagree with me, but I suggest (if you're not already doing it) putting her down on her tummy. Neither one of my girls would sleep for any length of time on their backs, but as soon as I made the switch to their tummies, it was like magic! My sister was the one who talked me into trying it ... because when her children were babies (they're 19, 17 and 14 now) tummy sleeping was the "rule".

Good luck, and I hope you both get some good rest soon!

When you say she's been sleeping in a pack and play do you mean in your room? If so, try setting up the pack-n-play in her room. Let her get used to the sounds of her room first then transition her to the crib. When we moved our daughter to her room she started doing this too, I bought a great mobile that lit up her ceiling and she would lay there and watch it and fall asleep on her own and after her midnight feeding I just put her in bed and put that on and rarely had to start it back up. I would check with your pediatrician about the cereal in the bottle, I'm pretty sure they recommend against that nowadays.

I personally agree with KT's response. I have a 3 year old and a 4 month old. The best sleep they get in on their belly. The phase of sleep is much deeper, and they will sleep hours longer. I ususally put my baby on his side in a "wedge", and if he fuses and probably isn't hungry, I just go in and turn him on his belly. He's been lasting until 7am!!!! If your baby has pretty good head control, you're likely to have zero problems!

Just give her time. It's not unusual for babies that age to wake up once or more a night to eat. Does she have a night light or a mobile in her room? If not, you may want to try something like that. Mostly, it'll just take time. SHe needs to get used to her new surroundings. It's probably a little disorienting to wake up and not know where you are. And there's nothing wrong with co-sleeping..don't make it sound like you did something wrong. I nursed my dd and she slept with us for the first 4 months of her life. It was easier on all of us. We got much more sleep that way. You can't spoil a baby at 4 months. I know some will disgaree, but you just can't. They aren't old enough to understand manipulation. If she's crying, there's a reason.

Is there a reason you are giving her cereal in her bottle? If not, I would stop doing that. Babies this young can't properly digest the cereal. There is no proof that it keeps them fuller for longer either. It could be that the cereal is giving her a belly ache because she can't digest it properly. If you want to give her cereal, give it to her on a spoon, not in her bottle. Most pediatricians do not recommend cereal in the bottle unless there is a medical reason, like reflux.

It's so sad for me to hear that people think that they are bad for taking their kids to bed with them. No, this practice is not for everyone, but there is nothing wrong with it. Since, however, it does seem like you don't want to co-sleep, I like the idea of the pack & play in her room. I am still co-sleeping & have no intension of stopping soon, so other than that, I don't have any advice. Just don't feel bad about it!!

ETA: I just read your "what's happening" and have to say good for you. I also think that it's very sad when people let others dictate what they do with their kids. Advice is one thing, but as parents, it's our job to do what "we" think is best for our families. Don't let others tell you what to do, or make you feel bad for something you are doing that is working.

I would let her do HER bed not yours. That was our mistake with our daughter PLUS I know some say it is wrong to say not to let the lil one sleep with you but think about it. WHAT IF you were to roll on him/her? You hear it alot and it really is not safe but yes it is your choice. When we let our daughter sleep with us she was older not a newborn. She is 4 almost and LOVES her bed. We will do naps with her just so we can but that is for 1 hr not a whole night. Anywho with my sone and daughter we have a fan in their room for some noise to block out house and outside noise plus we have a radio with their lullaby music. Quentin does still wake up but not that much now to nurse. I know how it is with needing sleep I have bene there. Good luck.. M.