24 answers

Do You Co-sleep with You Children?

I have never had luck getting my kids to sleep alone. My son is five and I just got him to sleep on his own this week! Although, since I work, I really always enjoyed that time with him. We also have a 2 month old now and her time of being super alert is late at night. She just seems to have her witching hour most nights until 1 am. So after many attempts to get her to settle down, I am so tired and cannot deal with one more awakening. I put her in my bed. I have her on my side with a co-sleeper bassinet attached to the bed. Occasionally she is in there yet often in the bed. I have her away from me and I keep one arm on her to keep her in place. I used to the do the same with my son, yet I am struggling with how comfortable I really am with this. I was looking for feedback and wondering if anyone else does the same thing?

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I co-slept with my daughter for most of her first two years, and we both loved it. I think we both got more and better sleep. Those were the days before all the warnings about SIDS. But there is quite a bit of evidence that co-sleeping is actually safer for most babies NOT in high-risk categories than sleeping alone in another room.

Weaning her to her own bed was no problem at all for us. Even after we did that successfully, she would still share my bed occasionally. Sweet times.

6 moms found this helpful

Right now in my bed is a 7 yr. old and any minute I expect to see a half asleep 4 year old wandering in to my bedroom looking for papa. I see no harm in it.

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I co-slept with my daughter for most of her first two years, and we both loved it. I think we both got more and better sleep. Those were the days before all the warnings about SIDS. But there is quite a bit of evidence that co-sleeping is actually safer for most babies NOT in high-risk categories than sleeping alone in another room.

Weaning her to her own bed was no problem at all for us. Even after we did that successfully, she would still share my bed occasionally. Sweet times.

6 moms found this helpful

Clearly, there is no right answer to this question at all. There is only a "right for you" answer to this question. And sadly, only you can answer it.

The one thing that I will say is that don't worry about setting up a pattern. Being the parent is frankly better than being the kid because you are allowed to change the rules. So if co-sleeping is working for you now, then co-sleep. As soon as it doesn't work, you get to change the rules! So while the change might not be great, you can do pretty much anything until you don't want to do it anymore. There's a lot of things that suck about being a parent, but do allow yourself to take advantage of this cool thing, because it enables you to enjoy the moment a lot more because you don't worry as much about what each little thing means for the future.

So for now, enjoy the snuggling, it seems : )

6 moms found this helpful

YES!!! My daughter is now 5 y/o and I bed-shared since her birth. I was a single Mom for 2 years and moved in with my boyfriend just after she turned 2. I refused to boot her out of my bed and some nights he slept in a bed in another room. We got married just after she turned 5, and we still have the family bed - now he always sleeps with us and always complains about her still in bed with us. I told him my child will always come first, and if he couldn't understand, then he may have to move on - - of course I said this in the BEGINNING of the relationship, not after getting married after a 3 year dating relationship.

A few months ago, she let us know she's ready for her own room and bed. We were so happy and supportive of her decision and made it into a very big deal. She's always been independent and outgoing, but knowing she could relax, recharge, bond and share love and safety with me at night when they day ended really made her more confident in herself.

I am now 3 months pregnant with #2 and plan on child led weaning/breastfeeding as well as bed sharing with this one too.

6 moms found this helpful

Love what Jane said...

My dtr, now four and I co-sleep and I knew I would from the day she was born. No plans to move her until she is ready.

That said, if I had a different child, I may do things differently. You never know how the second will be after a couple more months.

My BF "sleep trained" her first and thought that was the way to go w/ #2. #2 was having none of it. You do get to make the rules depending on the nature of the child and situation: )

J.

5 moms found this helpful

yes, both my kids were and are. If my husband is out of town (which 26 days out of the month he is) then my oldest sleeps with me also) My 2 year old is always with me. This is how i want it. I co sleep and extend breastfeeding. often i have to defend my choice but the relationship that i have with my children is argument enough for its purpose. I encourage sleeping in their own bed by age three, but many sleepovers in my room are possible, and welcomed.

5 moms found this helpful

My first was sleeping with me in the hospital and has ever since (she's 4.5 now). We did start putting her to sleep in her own bed around 2, but she always ends up in our bed again by 1am or so.

My second (almost 3) slept in the bassinet beside my bed for the first 8 months or so because I was a little worried about having such a tiny infant in bed with a toddler. At 8 months she started sleeping with us too. About 3 months before she turned 2 we started putting her to bed in her own bed. She also ends up in our bed, usually by around 11pm.

My third is 2 months old and sleeps in the bassinet beside my bed because I don't want her in bed with her sisters and, even though we have a king-size bed, there's no room for her!

I have a love/hate relationship with co-sleeping. I love it because I know my kids are comfy, warm and safe all night. I actually sleep better when they're sleeping well. I hate it when they're having restless nights and kick and punch me in their sleep :) My thinking is that they're not going to want to sleep with me forever and it's not doing anyone any harm (except the occasional bruise for me or my husband from little elbows and knees!). My oldest has actually told me that she's 'not ready yet' to sleep all alone - and that's ok with me. She will when she's ready.

Oh, and when mine were babies I had them cuddled right in the crook of my arm all night...breathing that sweet baby smell :)

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Nope. We didn't. Both of ours came home from the hospital and went straight into a crib in their own room/nursery. There they stayed. We never co-slept with either. I nursed them both and I went to the nursery and sat in a rocker to do so. They were sleeping through the night (6 hours or more) by 3 months or less. Both of them.

After that... well... why would I suddenly start letting them come get in bed with us? On the rare occasion that one would wake and come to the side of my bed, I would usually just walk them back to their own room, tuck them into bed and occasionally stand beside their bed for a few minutes. Once you start letting them get into your bed, they won't want to stop doing so. It becomes a difficult habit to break. So we just never started it to begin with.
Our kids are fantastic sleepers and always have been.

But if it works for you, who's to say that what you are doing isn't right for your family? It wouldn't have worked for mine, but I'm not you. Right?

But if you aren't comfortable with it (even though you might have been comfortable with it with your firstborn), then try something else. There is no rule that says that what you do with one must be done the same with subsequent children. Often times, we find that we made lots of mistakes with the first one, lol. (not saying what you were doing before was a mistake lol). The 2nd one and later children, give us an opportunity to use what we learned with the first one to improve our parenting.

Enjoy!

4 moms found this helpful

I co-slept w/ my daughter from birth - 3yrs old. And she still occasionally crawls in with me (she's 5 now). I worked third shift and dd was a terrible sleeper. I was up all day w/ her and only getting sleep during her short naps and then up all night working. By the weekend, I took what I could get. If it meant co-sleeping w/ dd and nursing while I slept, I did it. I tried using a co-sleeper that attached to the bed, but if she wasn't in bed w/ me, she wasn't happy and not sleeping. Even after getting on first shift when she was 16 months old, I still co-slept cause it's the only way we could sleep.

If you're comfortable co-sleeping w/ your baby and your baby is happy there, then I don't see a problem w/ it. Most "co-sleeping" deaths are not co-sleeping deaths. They usually occur w/ drugs and alcohol.

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