When to Start Sleep Training in a Conflicted, Separating Household?

I would absolutely continue co-sleeping. Your son needs extra comfort at this time and you probably do too!

Hugs!

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I think the continued co-sleeping may give you both some comfort. Any chance of reuniting with your husband? I'm really sorry to hear of your breakup.

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I would say that this is not the time to make major changes in his life in addition to what's coming down the road. The transition will be much easier on both of you if you wait until after you have settled into your new life.
Good luck.

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Due to the soon to be MAJOR upheaval and change in the family dynamic... now more than ever your infant child will need your safety, love, comfort and breast. Co-sleeping is a great way to calm the child, make them feel safe and secure - not to mention close to their favorite person - the woman they were inside of for 9 months - listening to their breathing, heartbeat, voice, etc.

Co-sleeping is very comforting (for most Moms and even more children) to many many Moms and kids.

I've chosen to co-sleep, and my almost 6 y/o is only transistioning to her own bed now, because #2 is coming in July and there is only room for 3 bodies in our Queen bed. If I wasn't expecting - - I could have easily gone on with her in our bed until she asked to leave (which usually occurs around 4-8 y/o when privacy is desired).

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First- super sorry to hear about the break up. Marriages are hard.
I haven't read any responses, so sorry if I am repeating!

I would let him sleep with you until you are settled in the new place. Does he nap in his crib? Try that first. When he falls asleep, put him in his crib so he wakes up there. Maybe put him in there with a bottle/ something he likes before he naps so he gets used to being in there.
I co slept for the first week or so, then the baby was in the crib. The more he is in there, the more he will be comfortable with it.

Good luck!

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My daughter (now 2 yrs) didn't really have any issues regarding sleep, but one trick I did use before putting her into her crib at night was to place a hot water bottle in her crib and remove it just before I put her down. This way she wasn't moving from the warmth and comfort of my arms into a cold bed! I did rock her crib and used one of those comfort teddy bears (whoosing white noise) which I placed under the crib as the sounds from the bear did help her sleep. Hope things get better and the sleep situation will improve :-)

Hi. While I am so sorry you are going through this, good for you for getting yourself into a better situation.

as for sleeping...i would advocate as little change and as much continuity with your child in every aspect you can, given that your overall situation is changing. That is, i would continue co-sleeping, especially now...If you need to get up and cry...do it...but let your child sleep in your bed with the familiar scents and textures etc...

Good Luck to you.
Jilly

C.,
I struggled with sleep training as well with my son who is now 4. All I can tell you is eventually he will "get it" and try different things. Whatever works for you is the right thing. My son at that age slept very well in his pack-n-play (playpen with soft, breathable mesh sides) and he could roll around without knocking into hard crib bars. Also try a fan and maybe background noise to soothe him. Mainly what I wanted to encourage you about is your separation and that you will get thru this. You sound exactly like me - same age, same type of husband. Be strong and keep putting your child's needs first and focus on moving forward. To the best of your ability, don't be bitter or angry, it will only hurt you. Try to cultivate good things in your life: friendships, playgroups, church, family, and above all, know that a happy woman makes the best mom. It's now been 3 years since my son's father bailed on our marriage and after losing everything (my marriage, my house, my life's savings, even my job), I am now rebuilding and God has blessed me so much! My son and I are healthy. I have a new job, amazing friendships, and a great church that connects us to great people and uplifting messages. Hopefully this makes you feel better. My son's pediatrician and a counselor I went to see both told me that if our marriage couldn't work, the sooner it ended the better. All my son remembers is that Mommy and Daddy live separately and they both love him. I have even found love again with the most incredible man who adores me and my son. This is not what anyone would chose to go thru, but I want to encourage you that in time, what seems so awful now, can unfold and blossom into a beautiful blessing. Peace, strength and courage to you. Kristen

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. My opinion is to continue co-sleeping until you are settled & things calm down. He is only 7 mos old, but he knows something is going on. He's needing the comfort from Mommy. I know you want some alone time to cry & be upset w/o waking him up. But remember he is only going to be this young for such a short period of time. Before you know it, he'll be locking you out of his room.
I, too, was very much against co-sleeping before I had my kids. But that quickly changed when my 1st was born. I ended up doing it & loving it!!
I pray you do well in this divorce & that your son does too. Shame on your husband for not wanting to be a husband!!! He has a son now, it isn't about him anymore!!
Best of luck!
H.

Why would you make any changes at this time? Of course he won't sleep away from you because he is in trauma. If the mother is in trauma, the baby will reflect your own emotions and not start self regulating. These problems can follow him for years to come so try to get yourself settled first through various relaxation, meditation, exercise and talk therapy to calm your nervous system down so your baby does not take these things through life himself. Your brain needs serotonin, dopamine and acetycholine. Get it naturally and in turn your baby will receive it! Don't make any changes now for sleep.

I would rock my son until he was asleep and then put him in the crib. He would wake up as soon as I laid him down and start to cry. We got one of the heartbeat bears and I would turn it on just before I laid him down. He would still wake up when I put him down, but didn't cry anymore and would fall back asleep right away. My son was younger when we moved him to the crib, so I'm not sure if it will work for you, but you may want to try it. Good luck.

Co sleep until you have moved and are resettled six weeks. Then move your son to a crib next to your bed. He won't be able to climb out of it if it is one of those deep travel style cribs like Graco made.

as soon as the conflict is settled and life gets some sort of "normal" otherwise you are fighting a losing battle