4 1/2 Year Old Won't Stay Still & Quiet

Maybe she does not need a nap? Can you pick her up before naptime? This just sounds like a bad fit for her little personality. Not that a child of 4 1/2 should not be able to meet some expectations that she finds less than appealing, but this one sounds beyond her reach. If the stuffed animal is not helping her, you should find anther motivation, but don't expect that to help her in this situation other than to frustrate her because she cannot earn the reward, it may just be too much to ask.

M.

Ugh! I hate it when a cookie cutter system is applied to everyone. Most adults for some reason expect every child to adjust to them when it should be the other way around.

Obviously their system is not working for your child. Obviously she is not tired as she is doing great with her work sheets. Most 41/2 year olds do not need to nap and can be antsy when forced to lay down. Suggest that they create an alternative for napping (for your child and the friend who is worse LOL). Maybe some quiet work time. And what is wrong with every child wanting a book? Or is this one of those "rule" thing again? (Can you hear the frustration in my voice?" LOL).

Have you looked into a Montessori school. It would seem like your type of child would thrive in that environment.

I ditto Jen O & Dawn P.

What works for my 4 1/2 DS is telling him “If you’re really good at nap time today and stay quiet, I will/we can….”decide on a reward. My DS has always done well with being rewarded for good behavior and it could be as simple as when we get home letting him build a huge fort in the family room with all the pillows and blankets, for example. If I take time to play “camping” with him, get out the flashlights and pretend to be roasting marshmallows, it just makes his day.

I’ll just tell him before we leave for school, when we get home we can build forts if your really good today!

I’ve even taken him out for frozen yogurt if I get a really good report about him at school. Those days are his favorite!

Best of luck!

It might be biologically unrealistic to expect her to do this. Poor dear, what if it's not really something she is able to control? And she's getting in trouble day after day... how hard would that be? If it were me and nothing is working, I'd insisit that she not lie down any more. Find something productive that she can do during that time. Involve her input so that she can own the activity and be committed to it. Maybe she could color or something. Maybe she goes to another non-napping classroom for an hour. Try to work with the school to find a solution that doesn't require her to do something that she isn't capable of doing.

Good luck.

My daughter was the same way she was well behaved but couldnt nap at nap time and four year olds CAN'T just sit and do nothing for 2 hours. He memories of preschool now are "they were so mean" and I know it was just nap time that was a problem-she never wanted to leave at the end of the day.
I don't have any solutions just a lot of sympathy!

Maybe you can institute quiet time at home by teaching her that she can't get out of daily quiet time and make her repeat quiet time at home if you get a report from her school that she was noisy or got off her mat or otherwise required teached intervention. That way, she knows that if she does a good job for her teachers at school then she only has to do it once a day at school. Right now, she is effectively getting out if it altogether because even though a teacher is sitting with her and making her comply, she is still getting attention/interaction/stimulation from an adult when she should be resting alone. Your daughter sounds bright and engaging, but this is a critical time to begin teaching and expecting self control on her part.

Maybe a rest is not for her. If there are two children who this is impossible for then why can't they sit together and work on some during their rest time? away from the other children a couple time a week? If someone is already sitting with them?

I think they need to find an alternative for her. Why make a big deal out of saying put in her cot when she can sit quietly near a window and read or color or do puzzles or even join another class that is not napping. Those teachers just want a break.

It's impossible to keep a 4 1/2 year old down if they don't want to be. Work with the teachers - you're the boss!

Hi S.,

At the preschool I worked at and the one my daughter attended, kids who couldn't nap were allowed to look at books quietly. It was never a disruption--the kids who need the nap will fall asleep even if they have a book (and I know I do)! I think they should try that for the kids who don't need the sleep. Mine didn't nap after age 2--she just couldn't and didn't need to (trust me, I would have loved it if she had!), and asking even "good" kids to sit still and do nothing while others nap is crazy. I don't think it's about "behaving"--that's just not an age-appropriate expectation, and those teachers know that if they've had any education in the field.

Good luck!

she's old enough for consequences at home for not behaving at school. tell her that if she doesn't behave during quiet time at school, she'll have to do quiet time all over again the right way at home - then stick to that and make her do it. does she get enough sleep at night? sometimes an overtired child has a harder time resting/relaxing than a well rested child. good luck!