Help.... Got the Dreaded Phone Call at Work About Child's Behavior at School!!!

Some Preschools.... will have a separate room, for those kids that will not or cannot nap.
Does this school have one?
Then there are other schools, that are very rigid in their nap policy... meaning, the child HAS TO nap... AND stay still and not move at all.
THIS... is unreasonable.
My friend's child went to such a preschool. The school called her every darn day... because her daughter would not nap. At that school... the "rule" was that at nap, the child HAS TO lay on their mat... and that's it. They cannot do anything else... and they have to be quiet and still. THAT is highly... unreasonable. She pulled her daughter out of that school. No 4 year old, can be still as a statue....

all the best,
Susan

Often kids outgrow naps at 4 years old. They should at least give him something to do while he's lying on the cot, like books to read. If he's actually sleepy, he'll probably fall asleep while reading.

I personally disagree with preschools who force kids who aren't sleepy to lay there with nothing to do, so I think it's the school's fault.

I own and operate a childcare center. In NJ state law states that children only have to rest on their cots for 30 minutes. If they are not sleeping after 30 minutes they are to get up and do a quiet activity, like books, coloring, puzzles, etc. Asking a 4 year old to remain on a cot the entire naptime is crazy and for most boys impossible to do. I think you need to check the state regulations in your state and if it is the same request that after 30 minutes rest your son be allowed to have books on his cot, or let him sit at the table with quiet activities. I am sure he is acting out because he just can't (and shouldn't) lay there doing nothing!!!

I can't get past the fact that a four year old is expected to nap! I think this is an extremely unreasonable request of a boy that age. Not in a million years would mine have napped at that age-unless they fell asleep in the car.

Can you send in a toy that is fun to play and will actually entertain him while he sits there for however long he has to while the others nap? How about a Leapster? Or a DS? Or download a book onto an ipod.

I think most kids give up the ability to nap easily around age 3. Not excusing the toy throwing incident, but I wonder why the school demands "naps" from a 4 year old. Some kids still nap at that age, many can't or don't. When ours gave their naps up, we pushed bedtime up quite a bit, and they were asleep pretty quickly. Sure, they are at their crankiest in the evening, but still, you can't always get them to nap on demand. Why don't they just call it quiet rest time and allow him to play with quiet toys or books on his cot?

THe child is obviously not sleepy during that time, probably bored or having one of those days. Is there something the teacher could give him to keep him quiet during that time even if he does not sleep. We tend to forget these kids are not adults.

Asking him to nap at this age is not age appropriate, I agree with pushing up the bed time by an hour, and I think he is throwing the toys because he is trying to make a point ... When my son needed to make a point to his day care teachers that is exactly what would happen. When they stopped and listened to him those days were easier. One of the teachers would bring him into the older kids' play time while the other kids rested/napped until the director decided she was not going to "cater" to my son and his special needs any longer. I would not punish him, I would talk to to teachers to see if they were listening to his needs and to see what can be done so he is not forced to take a nap.

I always have thought it a special kind of torture to expect a child who is not tired to lie still and be quiet. Kids can't even sit at the dinner table with their favorite meal in front of them for more than 5 minutes without getting antsy. He must be so very bored, yet is being forced to do something he no longer needs, and is acting out because of it. I think it's time to drop the nap and see if the school can find something else for him to do (like quietly looking at a book or coloring a picture). I really, truly cannot believe that EVERY 4 1/2 yr old in that school still takes a nap. 4yr olds can certainly be expected to do a quiet activity, but to just lie still? Quietly? For more than 5 minutes? Just because the teachers need a break? Torturous. Lose the nap and up his bedtime by 1 hour.

4 years old and still napping? My kids stopped napping about 3 years old. That sounds like an 'hour time out punishment' to me if they aren't tired. As far as 'things don't go well that evening', that is a sign he needs to go to bed earlier.

Read this:
http://www.babycenter.com/404_when-will-my-child-stop-nee...

It clearly states that 75% of children have stopped napping by 4. That leaves 25% that do not and it states that if a child gets adequate sleep at night, at that age they should not need to nap.

Call your pediatrician and ask the doctor if your child should be napping at this age. Then call some other schools that don't include 'nap time' as part of the pre-k curriculum.

Is there another teacher whose room he can be moved to? My son (4) stopped napping shortly after turning 2 (much to my chagrin...) luckily all the teachers who worked with him found some way to keep him quietly occupied. This past summer he was moved to the preschool area. The first teacher he had either could not or would not deal with the fact that he does not nap. The end result was that he ran around the room making lots of noise and poking his friends who were trying to sleep. It even got to the point where she rudely informed me I would have to pick him up at nap time (WHAT!!????) So I spoke to the director and had him moved to another room. Have not heard any nap time complaints since then. I don't think the toy throwing is anger, but rather being bored. I would make a point and give a small punishment like losing a toy or treat and leave it at that.

I didn't read the other replies...is he in PreK or Daycare? Either way, why is he being forced to nap still? Regular old quiet time, with book, blanket, toy, soft music, should be enough rest. No talking, no disturbing your neighbor.

My kids were done with naps by this age. My oldest was in a daycare, where some of the more compliant children still napped. I asked the daycare if she could go elsewhere to accomodate her need for something different? And they were fab, they let her spend nap time in the office with the owner/director who put on music and she would dance and sway softly to the music. Best time of the day for her I think..

If he hasnt been sleeping well all week it might be what is wrong with him. He is just over tired. Maybe an earlier bedtime to get him back on schedule?
Or a new bedtime routine.

As for throwing toys at school and not listening you need to explain to him that while he is at school he needs to do what the teacher tells him just like he does what mommy tells him to do at home, same same. Throwing toys is not nice and wont be tollerated. And if he continues to do it maybe at school the teacher needs to give him a time out where he is not allowed to play with the toys until he stops doing it. Also maybe he is needing extra attention at school and its his way of showing it?.

Good Luck!

Some children don't take naps at 4. It's hard if they just don't want to... Have you looked at other schools... my son went someplace that had nap time.. my daughter went someplace that didn't ... she hated naps and didn't want to lie down at all.. she is very active. Some schools set up a place for quiet time like where the teacher might read a book over in the corner for kids that don't nap... or they can sit an do a puzzle... but they must be quiet.. ask the school if this is an option. As for throwing toys.. kids get angry for one reaason or another and the way they show it is to get mad... that's is why he threw the toys..maybe another child is getting him upset.. who knows..

With all the Halloween hype is he possibly overwhelmed or getting into the candy? Did they have the party and he is too hyped up? The root of the problem is better than an explanation at this age.

He's 4. I have a son close to the same age, and this has been a difficult age! You THINK they're too old to have "terrible 2" type reactions, but they really aren't. In fact, I've heard many parents say, "Forget the terrible 2s -it's really the terrible 3s and 4s!" No, he shouldn't be throwing toys, but sometimes they just act out. Did he get time out or some other punishment at school or did they just call you? They need to do something to remediate behavior there. Also, at his age -I'm shocked he still takes a regular nap. My son is at a public school preK -and they still have nap time, but he just hangs out on his cot like most of the others. I used to do prek assessments in a number of centers and schools, and very few of the children that age actually nap.

You can try taking him to the event this evening. He may get so excited he doesn't melt down or anything, but just be prepared to pack it in and head to the car if he starts acting up. Get him to look you in the eye before you go and tell him that's exactly what will happen if he DOES act badly -and then do it if you have to.

Dear mom, I think you are blowing things out of proportion. Kids are unpredictable sometimes. Be understanding

I, along with the other posters, do wonder about the whole naptime thing. When I was in Kindergarten (a LONG time ago..1972) they had us do naptime. What a long pointless thing I thought it was. Quiet time ok, I can see that.
halloween is a pretty exciting holiday too. You might expect some behavior out of the ordinary at this special time of year. As a teacher, I know I would.

Kids throw toys. It just happens. Some other child probably did something to upset him that the teachers missed.

Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't have scolded/punished him. It's definitely bad behavior. But I just don't want you feeling like it's abnormal, because it just isn't. I think the think the most "dreaded" thing is when you get a call from the school principal. A daycare/preschool will call you for a LOT less, depending on whose in charge that day. It's nothing to dread and it's certainly nothing to be embarassed by or ashamed of.

As far as the naps go, it sounds like he might be outgrowing them. My son did by that age. You'll probably need to start getting him to bed earlier to compensate, though.

Does your son take naps at home? My kids stopped taking naps at age 2. Maybe explain what quiet time is. Could he be allowed to quietly look at books on his cot? Maybe you could practice this at home. Does he throw things at home? Does he act this way at home or is this something new? It isn't that he is a naughty boy. It is better to say that he made a bad choice. :)

Just wondering if it's a low blood sugar thing - my son gets all irrational and unreasonable if he hasn't had something good to eat. Either he's had junk, not enough food, is coming off a sugar high, or is just plain hungry. (I'm not looking forward to this week!)

Just throwing it out there as a possible cause of his irrational and uneven behavior.