2 Sisters Antagonizing Each Other All Day Long - HELP!

I don't have any advice as to how you could handle those types of arguments. I just wanted to share with you that my 2 older sisters are less than 2 years apart in age and have always been at each others throats. Each was the other's biggest competitor. They still don't see eye to eye to this day and they're 36 and 37! I think that is the problem with being close in age and the same gender sometimes--they're too competitive. My sisters did hang out together and do things together a lot as well. So at least you'll get a break sometimes. Good luck!

My sister and I had a childhood of constant fighting. We did not have a great relationship until we were both adults.
She has three girls and one boy. Her oldest two are going down the same route as we did. I know they love each other, but they will not spend 5 peaceful minutes together in a room.
No advice, just hugs and good luck!

My daughter's now in their late 20's always had this problem. One day after an exhausting day of fighting, I finally sent them to the backyard and told them to fight it out and only one could come back in. They sat on the back porch in shock for quite a while wondering how they could get back into the house! I don't remember how it was resolved but I do remember them being quieter for a while! It's really best if you can let them decide what punishments fit the crimes, how to resolve their own conflict, because face it you won't win with anything you do. When there is an issue make them sit down with the problem and work out a solution that they can bring to you and have you mediate, not mandate. Example: What should she have done when you got in her face? How should we handle this? Let them come up with answers, don't lecture. Make the toothbrush licker do some chores for the other to pay for having to buy a new toothbrush, that sort of thing. Bring them into the conversation about a solution, they will get the concept about the Golden Rule better if they have to decide how it's implimented.

Mine are now 20 and 16 and still have some goofy arguments, but rest assured, that if you stay after it as you are doing now, peace will some day come. It usually takes them getting to late teens/early adulthood before it seems there is less fight and more peace but it is worth it when they become friends. Hang tuff, even when you have to deal with toothbrush licking!! (That really is funny...)

My closest sister and I (less than 2 years) well... not a LIFETIME... we're great friends now... but we were exactly like that until our mid twenties.

Hugs. Big BIG hugs.

R

PS... my sister's favorite trick was to lean forward and bite my arm if it was in her face... usually in the car I got bit at least twice pointing out the window (not a great learning curve on my part... blame the adhd). At dinner only once. No scars. She quit doing it regularly in middleschool. She also did it as a joke this past thanksgiving.

when we were children, and we fought like that, we had to sit on the couch and hold hands for 5-30 minutes depending on ages. (my bro and I were less than a year apart). It was torture and would usually work for awhile.

What ever happen to time-out for such behavior.

I'm not in your situation exactly as I don't have 2 girls who fight day in and day out. I have 2 preschoolers, a boy and a girl, close in age who get along pretty well, but often enough they get into squabbles that last too long, or are over ridculous reasons, etc. To teach them about reaching out to others we help with outreach programs at our church and the local chidren's hospital doing nice things for others. It ocurred to me that promoting that at home would be a good idea. I'm thinking about maybe having them do things like straighten each others rooms occassionally, saying something positive about the other every day, etc. I read them a book a while ago called "Have you filled your bucket today?". It teaches about making people feel good (filling their emotional bucket) vs. making them feel bad (emptying their emotional bucket). It made an impact with them. I believe there are versions for younger kids and for older kids. As far as the toothbrush incident goes, I probably would have sent the singing sister for a timeout and if your kids get an allowance, maybe have the licker buy a new toothbrush for her sister. Not knowing how old your girls are it is hard for me to say for sure. Best wishes to you.

I didn't read all the other responses but, trust me, you are not alone! My girls are still young but they have already started it. Sometimes they are the best of friends and play so well together and sometimes they are constantly picking at eachother. For us, I think a lot of it is just learning how to communicate with eachother. The older one understands rules better and tries to get the younger one to follow those rules but the younger one just thinks the older one is being mean...you get the picture. So I basically do what you did, separate them and talk to them individually about what each of them did wrong and then make them apologize to eachother. With the older one I have started adding suggestions on how she can avoid the situation next time and am trying to help her learn how to communicate better with her sister. For instance, instead of throwing a fit and breaking down into tears every time the younger one takes something from her, ask nice for it back and be patient. Mostly, it is just the younger one trying to get attention from her sister or just plain being a bully. Good luck!

I have 2 younger sisters... I am 2 years older than one and 4 years older than the other... We still live in the same house and are CONSTANTLY fighting. The older they get the more physically violent they will get... At least that's how it went with me and my family. So keep a close eye on them and make sure they aren't around anything that could be used as a weapon when they are in the middle of a tiff.

Me and my sister... 2 years apart... CONSTANTLY fighting, on each others nerves... but then sometime comrades in escapades.
BUT... did not like each other... a lot. Her just irking me on purpose or terrorizing me for no reason.
Me, being the younger of the siblings... just irked and hating it all being on the short end of the stick.

Anyway, it did not get better until LONG into adulthood.
I frankly could not stand her. She meanwhile had some kind of sister-jealous-hate thing toward me. Even now... it can sometimes rear its ugly head.

have them talk to the other "when you are in my face singing, it hurts my ears and makes me uncomfortable, i dont like it. i want you to be in your own space" or "when you lick my toothbrush, it makes me andgry and disgusted. i dont want to get sick from your germs. I want you to leave my toothbrush alone." how old are they? have them sit down and tell them to take turns talking about the problem and how to fix it. the most important thing is you walk away and let them fix it. they cant leave that spot until they work out a solution.

We had two girls 2 years apart and later two more girls two years apart and also had four boys, two older than the first girls, and two older than the second set of girls. The girls got along very well usually so I don't think it has to be this way at all. They are all good friends now and yet when young they were not like described. Sometimes there were issues but not constant fighting. One morning there was an issue over clothes that was not good but that was highschool age. I would find some sort of discipline that would be used as a result for this kind of thing.

If this is a typical example, my advice is to leave them alone and let them work it out unless/until it comes to blows. Licking a toothbrush is not that big a deal between sisters, in my opinion. Do you or they honestly think they are not already sharing the same germs? I am guessing your reaction (a lecture about it) is making a bigger deal out of it than necessary. And I speak from experience since my sister and I were 15 months apart.

My girls are pretty your 6, 4, and 2. The older two can really go at it some times. One of the things that I have started doing is have them think of 3 nice things to say about and to the other sister. It has been working pretty well. If they start using the same 3 nice things I have them come up with something new!
Blessings, K.

I feel your pain! I wonder if it might be therapeutic for you to write these crazy incidents down to help you keep it in perspective and give levity to the situation. I hope others have some more fruitful answers/suggestions/ideas. Lord knows I need them too!