27 answers

Too Much Affection

My husband has always been an affectionate person. He kisses both my four year old son and two year old daughter on the lips and cheeks several times a day. On our fifth anniverary my husband bought me some candy and I gave some to my two year old daughter she had some on the top part of her mouth (her upper lip) and my husband said let me take that chocolate off and proceeded to take it off with his mouth while making loud eating sounds. I was right in front of him and did not know how to take this. I am hypervigilant when it comes to the safety of my children. Have you experienced this type of behavior?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I ended up talking to my husband, and he was very upset that I would take this incident the wrong way. I explained that to me it seemed like it was a little too much, and said that he just loves his kids and was being playful. Thank you all for your advise and input. It was all very helpful.

Featured Answers

I agree with Jennifer, my husband often complaints that im "addicted" to kisses, but what mom isnt?, really.
Everyone in my family kisses their children in the lips, I do and my MIL and SIL totally hate it!!! (or are grossed out by it) I "eat" my 3yo anytime he'll let me and he likes the eating noises, so I wouldnt worry about it, unless you had any other concern besides this one, but I think not, since you say he is just very affectionate. Good Luck and kiss away!!!

1 mom found this helpful

You are the mother and if you don't like what he is doing simply let him know. Be prepared to answer any questions he might have. Try not to sound irritated when you talk to him. Affection is good but you both have to agree on the way it is given.

I don't kiss my 3 yr. old son on the the lips because I don't want to pass any germs unto him. I usually kiss him on the cheek or the forehead.

More Answers

I'm trying to picture that image in my head right now... And trust me... It's way more adorable than 'weird'. If he hadn't been making the eating noises then I would have found it weird, but the eating noises make it adorable.

7 moms found this helpful

my girls are 8 & 12 and both my husband and I kiss them on the mouth. When they don't want us too they turn their head and we kiss them on the check. When they were babies I used to kiss them all the time, I "wanted to eat them up" because I love them so much.

6 moms found this helpful

Why is that weird? Thank the Lord your kids have a father who shows affection so openly!

6 moms found this helpful

I think you should be thankful that you have a husband who clearly adores your children and makes them feel very loved! I think the candy thing sounds cute, not creepy. We always pretend like we are going to eat my toddler's toes and make loud eating sounds and he cracks up and loves it.

I come from a long line of lip-kissers. I think it's just how some people roll! =)

5 moms found this helpful

it doesnt sounds as if hes a bad person, just a little odd. Sometimes i pretend to eat my babies cheeks while telling her shes just "so tasty", and everynow and then ill take a spoon and pretend to scoop up her arm or belly, then make little munching sounds. Parenting can make a person look a little crazy.

whatever you do, dont shame him. My husband holds back on his affection because of how it might "appear", ive tryed to encourage him to be MORE LIKE your husband, actually.

4 moms found this helpful

I've done this myself to my son, very infrequently and I think only when chocolate was involved. I wouldn't do it for greenbeans LOL. What was your daughter's reaction? This could be the key to how to react.

Is your husband NOT the bio-dad of your kids? Is this part of why you have this fear? If he doesn't have a history of inappropriate behavior, don't make yourself crazy. You do need to trust your gut, but you have to find the balance in being vigilant.

3 moms found this helpful

I agree with the other posters, inlcuding he is their father. Let him love them. We kiss our kids on the lips and they are 3 and 4 years old. When we visit other family like MIL I am always greeted with a kiss. Its more the side/cheek type kiss, but my kids give their grandparents kisses on the lips too. And - even there uncles/aunts.

I agree each family is different and you have to do what is most comfortable for you and your family. But, if as you described, is all that is going on, sounds innocent and a dad just loving his kids.

Good luck

3 moms found this helpful

I'm not shocked or horrified if by "top part of her mouth" you mean "upper lip." (It's hard to imagine this happening inside the mouth.) For many of us, babies and small children are yummy, and completely non-sexual, confections.

If your daughter giggled and wiggled, everything's probably fine. IF her daddy forces himself on her when she's indicating displeasure, then a problem could be developing with healthy boundaries, which could work to her detriment in the future.

I have to restrain myself not to excessivley snuggle my beautiful 4.5yo grandson every week when I see him – but he's also very affectionate, so I let him determine how much hugging and kissing happens. But both his mom and dad playfully nibble on him at times, and until he starts pushing them away with a "yuck," which he almost certainly will in the next year or three, there's no danger.

They've also had stranger-danger and good touch/bad touch talks with him. He knows that if he's EVER uncomfortable with the physical contact of another person, including his mom or dad, he should do his best to say no, get away, and report the behavior to a trusted adult.

3 moms found this helpful

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