12 Year Old Texting to Girls Way Too Much!

Hi T.. I totally see where you are coming from. My son will be 12 in a few weeks too. The most important thing is that they FOLLOW the rules you have set--which by the way I don't think you are too strict. Just remember to keep the lines of communication open to where he can talk to you and/or your hubby. If they think we are going to be angry, then that can sometimes be hard for them. Although these kids are too young for girlfriends/boyfriends, I think most parents will agree that if our kids have questions or issues, we want them coming to us--their parents--to talk to. You are doing everything right--hang in there!! :) C.

1 mom found this helpful

We have AT&T and I have smart limits on my girls' phones. It is $5 per month per line and you can put limits on who they can text and call (for ex, my 11 yr old daughter proved herself unresponsible with her phone so she can literally only call my husband and me and the same with texting). She can call 911 and unfortunately they cannot limit who can call IN bc of 911 but it has REALLY helped. My 13 year old can only text/call during certain hours. HTH

1 mom found this helpful

I don't have advice, sorry. I did want to tell you I think you are on the right track, and I don't think you are too strict at all. I have an 11 year old who doesn't have a phone (and I teach high school), and you seem to be doing a great job!

1 mom found this helpful

I would treat texting as if it were the phone when we were younger. We had rules that I think were just common sense- no calls (texting) after a certain hour. We were also only allowed to be on the phone for a certain amount of time each evening. Also, as girls, my parents really didn't care for us to be calling boys. It may sound a bit old fashioned, but like you said, you are his mom and he is only 12.
I can say that after teaching middle school for 10 years, it would be wise to put some boundaries on it now. It was kinda' scary how middle school kids try to be very grown up- especially in a not so great way.

1 mom found this helpful

Do not EMBARRAS your son, and you should CARE! You can set the boundaries without the embarrasment factor. Not sure how those girls crossed the boundaries?? Do they know know your boundaries? Set the limits with your son and be done with it. I have a daughter age 13, and yes we have limitations of usage regarding the phone. Best of luck to you.

1 mom found this helpful

My nephew is 12; my niece is 14 - here's what I can tell you about "going out" at this age, as well as texting.

"going out" that his age doesn't mean the traditional dating (and how could it - they can't drive themselves anywhere). It basically just means maybe they sit together at lunch or in class, that they talk on the phone (or text) a lot; maybe they buy each other little gifts for Valentines day or for their birthdays. That's all that means (usually) so it's fairly harmless. If it starts to interfere with his academic performance, then you should definitely intervene.

As far as the texting goes, I don't see why it's an issue if he's paying for it. This is a great opportunity to talk to him about saving/budgeting/spending. If he gets low on his minutes, then it's his responsibility to either tell his friends that he can't text for a while until he gets more minutes or to go buy more. And, no matter how few minutes he has, all cell phones are programmed to allow calls to 911. Those never count against your minutes on a prepaid phone (even phones that aren't on an active plan will call 911). So, if you're afraid he'll run out of minutes and won't be able to contact emergency services, don't worry about that. And, if you don't like how he's using his minutes, then don't buy them for him anymore.

My sister-in-law prohibits her teens from using their cell phones after a certain time of night (if it gets to be a problem, she confiscates the phone at night). Their school does not allow cell phone use in class, so she doesn't have to worry about that being a distraction. No cell phones are allowed at the dinner table or during family time (i.e. watching a movie together). Also, they are not allowed to walk & text or ride bikes & text, etc. (That rule was started after my nephew tripped and fell while texting)

My daughter (14) is a texter as are most of her friends. They have unlimited texting on the phone plans, as I do.

She was talking about "going out" the other day and I reminded her that she is not dating and going out at 14. She told me that "going out" term is simply....Will you be my girlfriend or boyfriend?" I do think 9th grade girls calling a 7th grader is a questionable.

There are some girls so boy crazy it is scary. Fortunately, we don't have one of those right now. Ours is very social and as she said "I don't want to be tied down", LOL

I'm with your husband on this one. I would not get on my daughter's phone and text anyone for her. Yes, we have boundaries but I am not going to humiliate her. Yes, we are the parents but to get respect you have to give respect. I know..you pay for the phone, etc. I want to keep the lines of communication wide open and I don't do things that will make her shut down toward me. There is a line between best friend and parent and we walk that line carefully. Right now everything is going well...she knows no phone calls or texting past 10 on school nights and she has respected that.

IF she were to break those boundaries, instead of texting her friends, I would just put her phone on silent and let it charge in my room.

Hopefully this is not offensive to you.