15 answers

Cell Phone Restrictions

We just gave my almost 11 year old daughter her first cell phone. She started middle school this year and since she will walk to and from school we decided for safety sake it was a good idea. She is an amazing kid and Iso far shown to be very responsible. My question is how much access should we allow? We planned on limiting calls to immediate family and no texting. However I picked up two of her friends yesterday and the texting stories they told made me wonder. Granted they may have been just stories, but at some point she will figure out the security restrictions we are placing can be "unprogrammed". Does anyone have any good guidelines/rules/restrictions?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Middle school girls text. That is why they have cell phones. They rarely call one another. I see it as fairly harmless, as long everything else in their life is going pretty well.

1 mom found this helpful

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For an 11yr old? The cell phone should be for EMERGENCIES ONLY. No friend calling, no texting, it should be for calling mom or dad in case something comes up, she needs help, gets sick at school, something like that.


1 mom found this helpful

you can call your cell phone provider and block all incomming and out going text messages to her phone. Or should you chage your mind, get an unlimited plan for her. My 11 year old has a phone too, and we showed her a detailed bill and explained ALL NUMBERS THAT COME IN A GO OUT show up on the bill it even shows the time the call took place and how long the call was for. SO, even if she trys to hide it, we will find out and it will be worse for her. So she knows she is only allowed to call numbers we programed into the phone for her. she is a good kid we have not had any problems with her, she has never lost her phone, she has had it since she was 8.

1 mom found this helpful

Middle school girls text. That is why they have cell phones. They rarely call one another. I see it as fairly harmless, as long everything else in their life is going pretty well.

1 mom found this helpful

Not personal experience (my daughter is too young) but from friends -

Make sure she know the phone is privilege
Make sure she know thast since you get the bill you will know if she sends texts and who she calls - let her know you will randomly check
If she unprograms the phone she must give it to you as soon as she gets home (only has it for the schoolday, no evening or weekends)

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

We do not set limits, use spyware, etc on our daughter (almost 16).

We do have a very good open communication system here. She is aware that her phone is a priviledge and she has lost it at times (our form of punishment). She lives for the phone, laptop and Chi flat iron.

She is a good kid, always has been. Honors, orchestra, cheer. That is not saying she would never do wrong, I am the first to say she is NOT a perfect angel.

I do not set limits HOWEVER, I do randomly check her IPhone and laptop. IF she happens to have something on one of those that is out of line (never has) it would be discussed and we would certainly talk about limits at that point.

She needs to learn responsibility and independence.

1 mom found this helpful

Kids these days text a LOT. It's the new way to communicate. Some kids do thousands of texts a month. What stories are you talking about?

Your daughter is "an amazing kid and so far shown to be very responsible." I would decide upon your rules, and then trust her. Obviously, she cannot be texting or using her phone at school, and she should not be using it as she's walking, because she needs to be aware of her environment -- strangers, cars, etc. Those would be my main limitations. And yes, a night time limitation is a good idea, like after 9, as suggested below.

Yay T.F., below. Another mom who trusts her child!

1 mom found this helpful

May I ask a question? Your daughter is in middle school and I assume you pick her up and drop her off - why does she need a phone? If she needs to make an emergency call there's a phone in the office. What is the "safety sake" issue? I ask this because many people buy phones for their kids and I'm curious how often these kids are alone and unsupervised, which might necessitate the need for a phone. At our school (daughter also just started MS) the teachers asked that parents make sure the phones are turned off after a certain hour otherwise kids tend to text late into the night and get less sleep.

Even if she unprograms the restrictions, you will see on your bill if she is texting. At that time you can determine what to do.

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