One, Two Many
While pregnant with my twins, I would spend endless hours reading all sorts of great ‘first time mom’ advice. Unfortunately, what works for one baby does not necessarily work for many.
Just for fun, I pulled some advice from a post I found online, and added my own ‘mom of multiples’ twist.
“Sleep when the baby sleeps. ALWAYS during the first few months. You can’t be a good mommy if you can’t see straight.”
Notice the word “baby” in that sentence, implying one? Well, let’s say you have several? Technically, that meant I could never sleep because they never slept…at least not at the same time.
I lacked sleep to the point I started hallucinating, imagining I was a middle-aged, first-time mom with two babies who never slept. Oh, never mind, that actually happened.
“Don’t stress out over the everyday things. Enjoy your baby. The housework will get done eventually.”
They were born in January of 1997. It is now May of 2012. Define “eventually.”
“You will have bad dreams that something has happened to him. Completely normal.”
I did, indeed, have bad dreams, but they were all about something bad happening to me.
For example, in one very realistic dream I was a middle-aged, first-time mom that had to care for two crying babies who never slept, were hungry every two hours and wet every two minutes. Wait, I think that may have actually happened, too…
“Always have a spare outfit for the baby in the diaper bag. You never know when you might need it. You might also consider a spare shirt for yourself. Especially if you are going to be gone for a long time.”
No one needed to tell me this, and I do mean no one! Every time I left the house I took more clothes and equipment with me than the Donner Party did heading west, and with equally successful results.
“Remember that just because you are no longer pregnant it does not mean your body is back to normal. It takes a while to get the hormones evened out.”
Again, January 1997, still waiting…
“Even the sweetest and calmest of babies will have times that they just cry uncontrollably.”
I do remember a lot of uncontrollable crying, but if memory serves, it was mostly me.
Speaking of ‘sweet and calm’ reminds me to tell you this cautionary tale. When the girls were babies, one was super easy to care for, and the other was super difficult. I remember wanting to give the difficult one away to anyone who showed so much as a passing interest in her, but let me just tell you that would have been my biggest mistake ever. Within two short years, the non-sleeper/constant-crier became the easy one, and has remained so ever since.
If you currently find yourself in a similar situation, be sure to take your time because you may have to live with that decision for the rest of your life… literally!
“Don’t try to do everything yourself. Remember to ask for help if you need it!”
Okay, is it too late to ask? The girls are months away from a learner’s permit – does anyone want to volunteer a car so they can practice driving?
I don’t know if you are interested in following through on this, but if so I should probably mention that I took them out driving exactly once, and neither one knew you needed to use the brake to stop a car. True story.
Now can I see a show of hands?
“Good luck and best wishes. Being mommy is the best thing! Enjoy it!"
Same to you times two. Happy Mother’s Day to my fellow mothers of multiples, and singleton moms, everywhere!
Cathy Kobre lives in Carmel, California with her twin daughters, and Japanese Chin, Penny.
