Would You Hire a Boy Babysitter?

Absolutely! I actually have a "Manny!" One of my babysitters (and my daughters favorite one at that!)is an 18 year old boy. He has been babysitting for us since my daughter, now almost 4, was born. He is just as amazing as all the female sitters I have had. I think if they are good with kids and enjoy playing with younger ones...they should go for it!

I never had a boy babysitter when I was a kid myself, so when I first heard about boy babysitters I did think it was a little weird, like "sissy." However, there are several boy babysitters in my neighborhood and they are great. I especially think it is great for my son to have older male role models besides his dad for him to look up to. I like having him see that it is perfectly okay for a teenage guy to be nice to kids younger and smaller than he is, instead of being all tough and macho.
Just like with girl babysitters it is important to get to know the babysitter and his or her family.
Without any other evidence to suggest the contrary, I think it is no more risky to use a boy babysitter than a girl, or adult neighbor, family member or friend.

wow, what a lot of negative responses. I have two sons. I had boy babysitters, they were fine and although they (my boys)didn't really want babysitting jobs due to manly reasons (they are so macho at twelve and preferred to rake leaves) they helped when I was baby sitting. So sad to see people who feel so strongly against it. What a bad representation of boyhood when there are all srts of nice guys out there who grow up to be these nice daddies.

It saddens me to see all the negative image of boy babysitters. There are many possibilities of things that can happen but we need to look at the individual person and get recommendations. Get to know the young people, maybe take the young teenage boys with you to a park or on some outings with you watching them. I have had two neighborhood boys that my 2 sons adore. The oldest is now 18, he just stopped by last night after being gone for a while and the boys just wrapped themselves around him with big hugs and gave him a welcome home hug. He was wonderful. He played with the boys and I never believed he would hurt the boys.
Get to know the teenage boys they are going to grow into wonderful young men and we as a group of mom's need to teach these young men how to care for children the right way. We have so much fear out there that we are not teaching the right way to handle children with love and respect. Both Girls and Boys can make a mistake and both Girls and Boys can make a great babysitter. Get to know them and interview them and check references. Watch them if you can with kids in neighborhood or at church or wherever.
Do not judge a babysitter on general statements that is not fair. None of us wants to be judged by a gender. Be informed, then use your gut. Good luck,
M., mom of 5 and 8 and have used boys for years with no problems actually prefer them.

I would not hire ANYONE, boy or girl, I did not know well. I don't care who his family is.

M.

No way!! As a child I was sexually abused by a boy babysitter & his dad! Plus, I've read too many scary things and have heard stories from other moms. It's just a rule of mine. Boys are sweet (I have 3 of them), but they have curiosities and hormones and have a hard time controlling them.

I absolutely believe in boy sitters,they are more concsious of their job. And as long as you know the family and about the boy I totally am for it.But in case you haven't given this any thought I do suggest having the boy over to see how your children interact and see the boy as well, then if the vibes are good you are all set.
Good Luck ! Let us know how it went...

For me it depends on the boy - or the GIRL. When I was a teen, I made all my money babysitting regularly for multiple families, and I didn't know of any boys who did this. Now I know of several, and honestly I would hire them before a couple of the girls in the area who do it.

Has he sat for any other families? Can you ask for a reference and call that family to see what their feeling is on how he interacts with the kids? I would do that whether it was a boy or a girl.

I know I am late too...girls can and will invite boys over. Ours did. It's no guarantee of anything to hire a girl sitter.

It sounds like you already have your little doubt, Especially not knowing the boy all that well. Would you be able to enjoy yourself on your noght out or would you be worried the whole time?
I dont think its weird to have a bo sitter IF its the right one. Good luck!

Hi H., I never saw this question when it was first posted, but it sure is an interesting one. I have a boy (an man, now) sitter (respite provider) for my Autistic son. He worked as a tutor in our home under my supervision (When I train a new tutor I demonstrate the teaching techniques with them watching, and then watch them for the whole session until they feel confident they know who to do everything and can handle my son's behavior. Then, after I have started leaving them alone in the room, I keep a video monitor on them that I listen to while I am doing chores in the house. I tell them it is for their protection as much as my son's, so they can't be hurt by him (he used to have more severe behaviors), or be accused on anything, because I can see and hear everything that is being said/done. I use this person as a sitter when my husband and I go out. He works for an agency where he has been trained in various disabilities, and gone through a fingerprint check. When we decided to adopt a baby girl, who is also disabled, (not autistic), I had no hesitation that I wanted him to be her babysitter. I work 2 days a week and he does her OT and PT home therapy with her, feeds her (she ahs feeding isssues), watches two 1/2 hour educational videos with her, one about reading and one about baby signs, and loves her to peices. He had already worked in our home four years when she came, so we trusted him completely. As for tutors, I find that girls are better at the record keeping part, and maybe more vigilant about moving ahead with the curriculum, but boys (young men) win hands down, now that my son is a teenager, at not babying him, expecting a lot of him, and treating him like "one of the guys". I'm overprotective and would thorougly check out anyone, since both of my kids can't talk well enough to tell me what happens to them, but that being done, I have had very positive experiences with our male sitter. He had to go through a thorough criminal records check right along with us for the adoption. B.

I would hire a boy if I knew him and his family well. BUT those exceptions apply to a girl as well. I wouldn't hire ANYONE I didn't know or trust.

I would highly recommend my teenage son to babysit anyone who is potty trained. I place this limit purely on his comfort level, not his ability level. I can say with 100% certainty that he would not want to change a diaper or be spit up on!!!

I am very proud of my son. He is a compassionate, witty and fun-loving christian young man.

Some might think is a done deal on this issue. I am going to disagree strongly with several of you, whose viewpoint is NEVER hire boys to watch kids.
I strongly disagree, and don't think you should generalize by gender. You have had or heard of bad experiences and I understand that---let's not judge all boys that way.

I have 3 teen age boys. 2 would make excellent sitters....not of babies, but of kids 6, 7, 8, etc.... And just from a comfort level. My boys would prefer to be able to communicate with the ones they were in charge of. My third son, is very shy and would not babysit, even if asked. We have raised our boys to have the utmost respect for others and the rules of society and I would be offended if people generalized them as possible molesters.

When my boys were young, we had both boy and girl babysitters at various times. The boys did far better jobs than most of the girls. The boys played baseball with them, or basketball, or something and made it fun! The boy sitters obeyed our house rules much better than the girls! They limited TV, never talked on the phone and never invited their friends over to our home!

We had one girl one time, who defied our orders to limit TV viewing and let the kids watch TV all night so she could talk to her boyfriend on the phone. When my oldest was 9, we had a girl sitter who peeked in on him in the shower stall, without knocking or anything. One year later, we had a girl's boyfriend show up on a Saturday night looking for her. She had been here Friday evening sitting. They boyfriend was confused on the days and was stopping by OUR home b/c the sitter had invited him!
Needless to say, these girls were only here once and we never, ever referred them to others. From that moment on, we decided we needed to know the families well and get references, and talk to our kids a lot before and after the sitter, whether they were boy or girl.

Someone asked why would a boy want to babysit? I can think of many reasons and non of them imply they are a molester. Many boys really like kids the same way girls do. Some boys are the youngest children and like having younger ones to watch and play with, b/c they don't have that opportunity otherwise.
Some boys have a huge load of stress placed on them at home or school and are very responsible. They like to watch kids b/c they can be trustworthy, and have fun and finally get an opportunity to play.

In summary, H., I like your idea of hiring 2---a boy and a girl. Sounds like you've done a lot of thinking about it and know the family well. I think you are doing the right thing.

My stepson, now 19, used to babysit our two kids when they were babies. (They are now 8 and 10 years old, one boy, one girl) He was awesome with them, and his friend John also used to babysit for us. Boys are super when they have some experience, and I was really appalled to read so many negative responses.

Get to know your babysitter, male or female. All children have talents and deserve equal opportunities. These are our future fathers, are they not?

You would really appreciate the book "Protecting the Gift" by Gavin deBecker. It will help you find practical, realistic solutions to this sort of dilemma without giving in to anecdotal hysteria. I think every proactive parent should read it; I liked it so much and it made me realize I was not as informed as I thought I was.
One thing that book validated for me was trusting my instincts. If you feel uneasy about something, there is likely a reason even if you can't explain it in a logical way. "I don't feel good about that" is a good enough reason to adjust your plans, whatever they are.
You need to know and feel good about who you are leaving your children with. Male or female is a seperate, probably irelevant, variable. I like the idea of watching at the family's house with the baby-sitters' parents home; we've done this and provided pizza dinner for the family as an extra thanks since the whole family has helped with our children.
(I can't help but wonder if some of the moms who are so against male child care providers assume their own husbands and sons are untrustworthy with children.)
Best wishes!

Hi H.,
Just saw your email regarding boy sitters and wanted to share my comments. Boys are just as good as girls when it comes to babysitting. I am a mom of two litte girls and also own a local baby sitting placement service (the frustration of finding a trustworthy sitter for my girls is the reasonI started the business). We do get requests for boy sitters but they are not requested as often. Having a neighborhood sitter (regardless of boys or girls) is nice but you should never be fooled that because they are a neighborhood kid that they are 'safe.' Most of our clients come to us because they are are done with using the neighborhood sitters due to a variety of reasons. In the end, its always safest to put your kids in professional hands.

My brother used to babysit on occasion for all of the families I did, when I was unable. However, ALL of the families knew us very well and although my brother could be irresponsible, he became very responsible when babysitting. My only fear would be not knowing him very well and being with your little girl.

I would definitely reconsider and see if you may be able to come up with something else. Could the parents of this boy help you? Can they watch your kids? A neighbor?

PS Even though I was a girl babysitting, I did pretty irresponsible things with the kids I watched. Boy or Girl, they are still teenagers. I cringe now that I know better about some of the things I did when babysitting.

I personally will never hire a teenager to watch my kids-way too scary!

This is very late, but I hired a teenage boy to babysit my 5 year old son. His mother was at my house every day (much to my dismay), Years later I find out that he molested my son.

When my son, who was very responsibile, turned 12 and his sister was 9, if we were going to be gone a short time, I hired them to babysit each other. If neither had any complaints, they both got paid but if either had a complaint about the other, nobody got paid. Worked very well!

Use the same common sense you would use if you hired a female babysitter. Be sure you know the boy and his family. Weird? Not at all, perhaps if we involved our boys in caring for children at an earlier age, they would learn to be better fathers when they have their own children. I have 3 sons and always had a boy babysitter, he was great with them and very trustworthy. My boys also baby sat when they were younger and were very good at it. After reading more of the responses, I have to say that I am really offended by some of the remarks. Evidently there are those who think that females do no wrong and all males are monsters. I am amazed that these mothers even dated anyone with their attitude that all males are suspect.

I would certainly hire a boy to babysit. Boys who are raised right are no different from girls who are raised right. My brother got to go along on a week long vacation to Nantucket one summer when we were teens, to act as babysitter to a family with four kids. The four kids were asked who did they want as babysitter to go along & they chose my brother because they liked him a lot & thought he was great fun. He kept them all entertained and he was paid well. Both my sons are older teens now, but when they were 13 & 14, they each babysat for families in our town who know us. They enjoyed entertaining the kids, but they also babysat so they could earn some cash. Both my sons are very responsible and my husband & I have raised them to be loving young men. When they were younger, we had a teen girl babysitter and a teen boy babysitter who alternated days babysitting. Both the boy and the girl played board games with my sons and one day when I had forgotten something, I went back to the house to find them all so engrossed in a monopoly game, that they didn't even seem to realize that I had returned! They were too busy playing to acknowledge me. That was wonderful to see and it made me feel good that my kids were being so entertained. My older son is very comical and could sometimes be dramatic and one day when he was 13, he returned home from babysitting for a family with three kids. When he got home, he walked through the door, then dramatically allowed himself to fall to the floor in a heap. When we asked him what was up, he remained there on the floor & groaned: "Bridget!!! She doesn't LISTEN!!!!!" LOL!!! Well, we laughed our heads off! We know the little girl and know that she can be a challenge, but it was so funny to have my son react to his babysitting experience in that comical fashion. It's not about hiring a girl over a boy, it's about hiring who you trust your kids with and who your children like having to sit. Good luck.
D. N.

I would absolutely hire a boy, if I knew him and his family. I have a 13 year old son that has helped in a pre-school at a college for the past two years. He has such a rapport with the children and he is a natural. There is nothing to stop you from having the boy do a trial sitting experience at your home and play with your children. I have done this myself, when my children were little. If I was considering a new babysitter, I would have them come and sit with the children while I was in the area, and that way I could come and go throughout the house and watch teh intereactions.

I think it's very scary to hire a teenager you don't know all that well. It's not his parents who will be watching your kids, it's him. So, it's really not about how well you know his parents. On the other hand, people hire nanny's and other childcare providers all of the time that they have never met, based upon the reputation of the agency or through a recommendation. So, I see your point. It's just really scary to me and I don't think I could do it unless I personally really, really knew this kid. I wish you and your family the absolute best of luck!

i think there's two sides here, and i understand both well. unfortunately the mothers who have sons take offense in that not many would trust a boy babysitter. but i think you really shouldnt take it so personally. things can go wrong with both boys and girls, but you have to understand that too many of us have had bad experience with the boy babysitter gone wrong thing. it is not that no one trusts any boys, but that boys so rarely are paid to babysit, yet so often do we hear the molestation and irresponsable stories about the situations... so you have to understand that someone may not necessarily trust boys to babysit, not because they think all boys are evil, but ''better safe than sorry'' is the best way to describe it. i personally would never leave my children with a boy babysitter, as i have too much bad experience with men, as well as my mother, mother in law, husband, and half brothers and sisters. sorry to say, that when you have gone through bad stuff, or your children have, you do NOT trust again easily. it is sad to see how many people have had bad things happen to them or their children, and how it ruins the reputation of all boys for that, but the sad truth is it happens... much more often than you'd think. just keep in mind no one's saying all of your sons are bad, just understand that its a very controversial subject and please dont take offense to someone not wanting a boy babysitter. the person is not being 'paranoid' or mean or accusing anyone's son of anything. it's just that bad experiences lead to a lack of trust, and you should try to understand that, as a parent, if something happened to YOUR son or daughter, you would be the same.

Hi H. K.,
I moved in from Europe and didn't know anyone in my area. I tried this new girl, from the School's babysitter list. I used her a couple of times and all went well. Well...I got a part-time job, that required me to start work at 7am. I needed her for the mornings. She never called back. Under stress, I knocked on my neighbors door upstairs. He saw, the panic in my face. I asked if he could watch my kids. At the time they were 6 and 2 years old. He said, I am the brother of my sister that lives here and I do watch her kids. Her kids are the same age as mind. Remind you, I do know the sister. I met her a few times. That's why I went up stairs to see, if she could help me.He answered to door, the sister was not at home.
The story is, until this day Mike are my children good buddy. They really admire him and me too. He babysitted my children for two years. I think it;s OK to have a boy babysitter and now my own child who is 13, a boy babysits my friend kids from the school. The extra money is great!

Take Care,
L. H.

Hi H.... My suggestion would be to ask the parents of the teens if they could watch them at their house so that the parents would be able to supervise their children while they watch yours... I hope this helps..
S.

When we had bible study at the pastors house his boys would entertain the children in the bedrooms while we all were in the living room. I would hire one of them to watch my children. They are good boys with awesome parents but I had 2 years of spending time with them and their family.

My friends just hired one of the boys from their church too. She said all the girls were getting asked so much and are always taken (they have a big church) so they asked one of the guys they know well to do it.

How do his parents feel about it? Talk to them and see if they feel he is responsible. Also have him over for dinner see if he interacts well with your little ones. Walk him through the house and explain the rules and ask him if he think he could handle it.

Our favorite baby sitter is a 15 year old boy. He is the son of a good friend and an incredibly responsible young man. Our 8 year old son just loves it when he gets to hang out with Jay.

I have hired a 12-yr old boy to watch my 2 and 4 year old sons at least 5 times while I worked at home for 1.5-2 hours. I was able to listen in on what they were doing, peek out the window to see how they were interacting, etc. He was great with the boys. They played a lot together; he was very engaged and responsible. I also could see what his tolerance levels were and when he lost interest. Now I wouldn't hesitate to hire him while I was gone for a couple of hours. I haven't hired a lot of teenagers, but would do the same whether I were considering hiring a boy or girl. Pay them to come over for an hour a couple of times while you fix dinner and catch up on the bills. These 'working interviews' should do a lot to ease your mind. Oh, and I called it 'playing with the kids,' not babysitting. I think the terminology does a lot to set expectations. Good luck.

I would second and third and fourth the recommendation of Gavin de Becker's book, "Protecting the Gift", in which he discusses the realities of who molests and how they accomplish it. He also talks a great deal about trusting your instinct: your parental instinct exists for a reason, to protect your children.

It's a sad state of affairs, but 99% of molesters are male. (Obviously the vast majority of males are not molesters, and I agree it's unfair to categorize all males, including my husband and your sons, as potential molesters, but there it is.) So I don't plan on using a male sitter of any age. But I would be especially wary of anyone who is actively seeking time with your children, as opposed to someone *you* are selecting.

Another point that the author makes is that you should feel that your sitter could to cope with emergencies--fire, home invasion, etc. That's why I'd never hire a teen, of either sex.

I know you've already gotten lots of responses, but I wouldn't hire a boy, even if his sister is there. He could easily take a girl (or boy) to another room and do things. Call me paranoid, but it's happened many many times! I would only hire someone I know well, and only a girl I know well. It might seem discriminatory, but 99% of the time it's the boys and men that do these things.