Still Don't Have a Babysitter

Updated on August 25, 2011
M.P. asks from Raleigh, NC
17 answers

Is it normal that I still don't have a babysitter for my 18 month old? He is in daycare every day and I'm perfectly comfortable with that, but the thought of someone I don't know watching him alone in my home for a few hours still scares me. My husband and I need to go out alone more often than we do, so I need to get over this. Does anyone else feel this way?

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answers from Milwaukee on

We don't have anyone to babysit either and he's almost 4.5 years old. Thanks to "Nancy Grace" I trust almost NOBODY.

The grandparents are too old to help and my sister's are busy most of the time so we just deal with it. It's amazing what you can get done once they get into school.

Can't wait for September 2nd when school starts!



answers from Pittsburgh on

My son is 8 and we've managed without a babysitter for this long!
We do dates when he is at an activity, a buddy's house, etc......

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answers from Houston on

Have you spoken with anyone who works at the daycare? That is where we got a majority of our sitters.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Omaha on

Not unusual--my daughter was probably a year old before we left her with a sitter.

My suggestion, if you want a night out, ask one of his day care teachers to babysit. That's what we do and it's worked out great! Our daughter already knows her, the babysitter already knows our family, and I am confident knowing that she has all of the proper CPR, first-aid, and early childhood training.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Lexington on

I felt this way for a long time with my daughter too. I was so afraid to leave her with anyone and was terrified of putting her in daycare with people I didn't think could possibly give her the attention or love that we do. Its a process you have to ease into. Do you have any family nearby that you would be comftorable with watching over your little one while you and the hubby go on a date night for a few hours? Our daughter's preschool does something called "Parent's Night Out" every so often where they keep the children throughout the day until 7:30 at night. They all get to come in their jammies and always seem to have a great time! Keeping that relationship with you hubby is super important (I'm sure you already know that) and I'm sure both of you need a break every once in a while from being Mommy and Daddy to just being husband and wife. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Toledo on

Everyone's situation is different. If I did not have a teenage weekend sitter that I trusted, then no way would I just leave them with anyone. We have been pretty lucky in that either our sitters daughter will sit for us or we have a coworker of mine whose daughter is also very responsible. We had issues with our youngest until she was close to 2 that she would scream at EVERYONE who was not our daily sitter, myself or my hubby. My sitters daughter started watching on occasion for us then and that worked best and she is VERY responsible. He will be fine, ask around and get word of mouth recommendations of who your friends use as a sitter..Go slow if you are nervous and just do a quick dinner then maybe next time a movie then a combo till you build up the feeling it is ok to take a date night. Youc an also find good sitter listings from the red cross since they do CPR classes for sitters. I try to find one around the age of 16.

BTW...Nancy Grace??

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Spokane on

We got our first babysitter when our son was 18 months old - I was a wreck, but after the first three times we left him he was IN LOVE with her - he was practically pushing me out the door (we went out once a week in the morning when he was fresh and happy).
I then learned it was ok to leave my kids a bit, and started leaving my daughter in the church nursery when she was about 7 months old with strict instructions to come get me if she didn't stop crying - this only happened once.
I now leave my kids about once every other month with my cousin's daughter and even though the complain before I leave, they are always sad when it's time for her to go home.
If you want to go out, find references from friends or look at a local college for child development majors (teachers in training have typically been fingerprinted by the state so they can do practicum in preschools), or swap sitting with a friend, you each get four hours twice a month and don't owe each other money!



answers from Anchorage on

I could never use a complete stranger. Do any of your friends have teenagers? or are there any in your neighbor hood where you could get ot know mom and dad? That is what we try to do, use kids whose parents we know so we have some kind of information on their background and temperament.


answers from Austin on

You can also call church nursery's and get names.
Also other day care centers..if the one he is at no one is available.



answers from Greensboro on

We had many of our childrens' daycare teachers to babysit for us to go out. My children knew them and the teachers were often glad to be making extra money.



answers from Charlotte on

Why don't you see if any of the day care girls will babysit. We had 2 of my daughters day care ladies as our primary sitters before we moved out of state. They always seemed to want to make some extra $$$ and they already know you and your 18 month olds routine.

I have also heard of You join for a fee but can do reference and background checks on the sitters.

Good luck and hope you get a date night soon!



answers from Oklahoma City on

Why wouldn't you use someone you know? Don't your friends have older children that can babysit? do you attend church somewhere that has a youth group? I would be uncomfortable with that too. I always used young women from church to babysit and it has always worked out well.

I do understand the difference from child care to child care there are lots of other adults and they see what the others are doing so there is a check and balance system in place. In your home there is no one else so that is so much different.


answers from St. Louis on

My husband is just like you. He doesn't trust anyone to watch our baby, not even his own mother. It frustrates me because I know the baby will be perfectly fine in another's care and he and I need alone time. Badly!

So, does it bother your husband that you two don't get alone time? If not, then I would say you could wait a little longer until you are more comfortable. It is perfectly understandable to be uneasy leaving your baby. But eventually, baby needs to develop relationships outside of you and daycare. She needs to realize that others can care for her needs too! And you need a break other than going to work. Ask her daycare girls to babysit - they would both love it!

I wish you luck! If you do budge, tell me how you did so I can try it with my husband!



answers from Washington DC on

Haha, well I know I am weird. My kids are 8, 6, and 4. We are hiring someone off of for either full-time or mornings only, and we have found a couple of girls that will be GREAT for date nights. But we have NEVER had a sitter outside of family or daycare. I'm just not sure what people will do. I know girls who have been great nanny's who go home and load up on alcohol and rx drugs. So even though they seemed great, they weren't so much. So people freak me out!


answers from Los Angeles on

I think it is a difficult hurdle for most parents. I don't remember the age, but it was after one year before we used hired help not a grandparent. I would describe it as first day of a new job, using a metro link for the first time, unknown kind of scary. I recommend you bite the bullet and get over it, because its the searching and fist time thats the hardest. The first time is going to make you really uneasy. but do it when you and your husband can go on a local date so you feel you can come home at any time. Don't wait until you are desperate and need to attend a wedding or function thats not a moments drive away. Staying local will really ease you into the babysitting thing. FYI mine are 3.5 and 1 and I still hate leaving them with sitters, but my oldest can't wait for her play time with babysitter and we always find the time to ourselves was long long overdue.
as for finding a sitter I have had great lucy with craiglist (interviewed and stayed home with them the first few times) The others were young girls my husband knew from work or their teenage daughters, and a neighbor girl (who's mother was available if anything went really wrong).
You will likely feel more at ease if you skip the teenagers (look collegiate, or older)



answers from Memphis on

We don't have any family around us so we must also rely on "strangers" for babysitters. All of my little guys babysitters have been his teachers from his daycare. The younger ones are almost always looking for a little more cash. At our daycare they have all been CPR certified. And most importantly my son (and us) already know them!



answers from Louisville on

I remember feeling that way and fortunately my in-laws lived closed to us so we always had "babysitters" we could trust. However, when we moved from Illinois to Kentucky, we did not have family so I had to find reliable sitters. For that age, I would hire sitters that were older...late teens, college age. As the kids got older, then I was more comfortable with younger babysitters especially with the ones who went through the babysitter class and learned CPR.

It's very important to nurture your relationship with your husband. Do you have any family members you would trust to watch your toddler? You need to schedule a "date" on your calendar like you would any other appointment. It's that important. My husband and I make it a priority to get out at least once a month (but really like to more like twice a month). Those moments are spent being pampered on at a restaurant and having conversations that we aren't able to have in the busyness of our home. Or, just remembering why we are so much in love. Love is not just a feeling, but an action and something that constantly needs tending to and the most important relationship in my opinion (other than with your Creator) is with your spouse.

I hope you can make some time to get out! It's too important not to.

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