Would You Give Your 2 Year Old Milk in Bed?

Updated on January 29, 2012
M.T. asks from Saint Paul, MN
14 answers

Hi, our son had the hardest time getting weaned from middle of the night feedings. We gradually added water to his bottle until it was all water and then he stopped asking for it in the middle of the night and started sleeping throguh the nigh.

However, since maybe a couple of months ago (when he was 24 months), he started waking up maybe at 5am (we usually get him up at about 6:40) asking for milk. Sometimes, he wakes up in the middle of the night like at 3am asking for it too. He cries and screams really hard and does not give up for an hour or more.

My question is, would you give him milk in bed (in sippy) when cries for milk? I imagine he is hungry, but we don't want him going back to the habit of waking in the middle of the night for milk.

On weekends, we want to sleep in but he cries for milk at his regular time or later (like at 7:30am), whenever he wakes up. My husband gets up and gives him milk, which calms him down and lets us sleep in a bit more. He says after his regular wake-up and breakfast time (6:40), it makes sense he is hungry so we can give it to him. But I wonder - does he differentiate 5am or 3am middle of the night milk and after 6:40 milk in bed? If we give it to him in the bed whatever time it is, wouldn't he expect milk in bed at other times too? We tried just getting up all together when he asked for milk after 6:40 on weekends, but that makes us tired for the rest of the weekend....

Anyways, asking for suggestions on how to handle both instances - middle of the night milk and weekend morning milk in bed. We do feed him milk before going to bed, but he doesn't drink much at that time and it doesn't seem to help much.

Your ideas would be appreciated. Thank you!

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L.J.

answers from Louisville on

You give in and he will get cavities in his mouth. No milk in the bed. only give him water. he will forget to cry if you never give in.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Please listen to the posts suggested a bedtime snack of a heallthy, high-protein food (peanut butter or soy nut butter on whole wheat crackers; a boiled egg and some milk to drink; a cheese stick, etc.) Protein will fill him up and make him feel fuller longer through the night. Then be SURE to brush his teeth after the snack -- don't give it to him in bed! After that: He's getting old enough to learn that food and drink, except for maybe water, belong at the table, and not in bed or elsewhere. If he is getting up on the weekend asking for milk because it's the time he normally would be up and breakfasting during the week -- well, take in in turns if you must, but I'd have one of you get up for the day then, and join him for a real breakfast, instead of giving him milk so he'll stay in bed. He needs the routine of his regular times -- and I know you'll say "We need to sleep in," but do you really want to establish with him that it's OK to have that milk in bed sometimes but not others? He is too young to get that distinction between "It's OK on Saturday but not on Monday..." That will only confuse him. So I'd say: Nightly high-protein snack, only water in bed, in sips; no milk in bed, period; keep him to his regular breakfast time on weekends.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

going back thru your previous questions, this does tie in with your son's need for milk. If he's drinking so much milk that even the dr recommends that you back off, then I would NOT give him milk in the middle of the night nor early morning.

I truly believe you need to stand firm & reduce his milk consumption. AND be sure to thoroughly brush his teeth after each round of milk. I worked in the dental field for years & have seen 1sthand what milk can do to toddler's teeth! It's not pretty.....

Unless your son is special needs, which I was not able to decipher from your previous questions, then at age 2....he needs to be able to make it through the night without that milk. Don't give in! Be strong. & a good long-lasting snack before bedtime might help. Graham crackers & milk is what our dietician told us to use....it's a powerhouse carb & takes longer to breakdown, thereby keeping you feeling filled thru the night. :)

One more thought: is he waking feeling "dry-mouthed"? Is the house "dry" thru the winter months? If so, that may be the trigger....& he's asking for milk because of his attachment to it.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I gave my son milk in a sippy at bedtime until we switched to a mug. He STILL has milk before bed, and he's 9.

I LOVED when all he needed in the middle of the night was just milk (yay, the 60 second fix!). I barely even had to wake up! Technically, I don't think I did. He's a fast grower, and milk is a super-food (proteins, lipids, carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals). During serious growth spurt time, he'd eat a whole meal (10-15 minutes), which actually required me to wake up.

Something to keep in mind with kids growing, is that it's rarely "habit". Remeber being pregnant? All you were growing was 10 pounds or less of baby. How HUNGRY were you? Was it a 'habit to break'? Nope. Kids are growing bones, muscles, organs... but they're growing far more in a year than we did being pregnant. 5-10lbs of new human, vs the 'new human' they're growing.

In my grandparent's generation "A growing child needs milk." and "A growing child needs to eat". Kids had butter on sammies, whole milk at FAR higher concentration than the 4% fat whole milk is these days, and were fed around the clock unless a family was very poor. Young children were FED "to grow big and strong".

There's a few really interesting studies happening on childhood and adult obesity. One of the areas of study are the "diets" were putting infants and toddlers on. Switching off of milk as 6month olds (when table food cannot support the level of growth needed), replacing things with high sugar low fat and nuthin'but'water as toddlers. This didn't happen until the baby-boom generation (necessary, since formula back in wwii era was highly dangerous), and got reeeeeally prevalent in the 90's. It's obviously only ONE area of study... but it's a very interesting area.

It's well documented that restricting calories/nutrition at puberty kicks the metabolism in the nuts. Our bodies "determine" we live in a famine prone area, and strap on about an extra 30lbs that stays strapped on / fought until menopause. ((Meanwhile those who don't diet during puberty lose the extra 20-30 that gets put on during puberty in 1-2 years with no work at all, and tend to stay 20-30lbs lighter than those who did diet... until menopause)).

ANYHOW... I think the research is interesting. Results aren't out yet, but prelim findings tend to show that those who feed their kids have taller/thinner/more well muscled kids REGARDLESS of their activity level... while those who restrict nutrtition tend to have either an obese child, or a very thin but weaker child with poor musculature and coordination and a higher incidence of learning disabilities. Like I said... these are only PRELIM findings, the study is longitudinal by nature, so the results won't be out for another 20-60. In the 10 years the studies have been ongoing, however... there is a strong correlation between restricting calories in infancy/toddler years and growth/brain development.

Will it show a strong correlation when the study is done? No idea. And, of course, it's only ONE piece of the puzzle. But the clever people who looked at "major change in diet" & "major change in physicality" I (obviously) suspect their findings will continue as they have begun. Mostly, because it's just common sense. Trick the metabolism into thinking there's a deficit and the metabolism slows. Slow metabolisms have very predictable results.

((The studies I'm talking about are Swedish & a few other socialized med countries. Like the puberty studies, they have hundreds of thousands of children in them... because they're going off of identity hidden, but all other facts present, medical records. A few are in the global peer review database, others are in academic circles... because they're nowhere near ready for peer review.))

Just something to keep in mind / food for thought.

And a Q for yourself: You're done growing. But if you wake up starving or dying of thirst... do you know the difference? Milk is a liquid FOOD. Food fixes hunger, water fixes thirst. And do you make yourself go back to bed? Or do you fix your problem? I've never understood why adults will fix their own problem, but tell kids not to pester them when they can't fix the problem themselves.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

No...I suggest after getting him READY for bed, give him a SMALL sippy cup of water, juice, or milk. (water would be best). Then let him get in bed, do the story, prayers, kisses, etc.

Blessings...

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L.C.

answers from Allentown on

I agree with your husband, if he is used to getting milk at his usual time, he's going to want it at that same time on weekends. I'd give it (and get the extra sleep!).

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

If he is hungry in the middle of the night, I would get him up, walk him to the kitchen and get him a healthy snack - maybe whole grain toast with peanut or almond butter. Then back to bed. If he is not really hungry I suspect one or two nights of this torture will be enough for him. If he is really hungry - he needs to eat. I do agree with the posters who recommend a snack before bedtime. What time do you put him to bed? I would not expect a two year old to go more than 10 hours without food. On weekends - sorry but you should get up and feed him breakfast.

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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

In the interest of his teeth and possible future pain from breakdown no milk in bed. Give a snack before bed with protein and fat and a cup of whole milk. Brush teeth and go to bed. If he is getting meals and snacks during the day he should be able to sleep through without food or drink....except water if absolutely necessary.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Whenever my son is going through Growth-Spurts (especially when he was a Toddler).... I always knew. Because, he will wake, just like your son, and want milk. I would give it to him. I didn't get caught up in the timing of it or when/if he had his last cup before bed or what/when was "breakfast" in the morning compared to when he may be waking in the morning etc.
I just would give my son some milk.
And he would drink, a HUGE tall glass of it, at one time. Just gulping and gulping until the cup was all gone. Then went back to sleep.
I knew, when my son was like that, he was growing and in leaps.
It would go on for a couple of weeks.
My son is now 5, and is still that way at growth-spurts.
That is the only time, he will wake during the night. AT growth-spurts. AND be HUNGRY.

But the difference is: my son KNEW he was hungry and knows his body's cues. He would tell me he was hungry. Not just waking for the hell of it. Because, I would ask him. He could.... differentiate that at that age.
So, I did not have to 'guess.' And I knew when he was hungry.... and no, it was not a "habit."

Or, maybe your son is having a combination or hunger/growth-spurts and teething. Because, kids often have various developmental changes, all at the SAME time.

The thing is: you said this started happening at 24 months old. 2 years old is a major growth-spurt and time of great developmental changes in a child....and in development, in cognition/physicality and in emotions.

Per my son: just because, I gave my son milk at his wakings when he woke up... he did NOT start 'expecting' it. It did NOT become a "habit."
I KNEW, he was having a growth-spurt, because he gets more ravenous at those periods. AND my son knew when he was hungry versus just waking because he couldn't sleep.

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M.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

If your son eats breakfast at 6:40 everyday on weekdays , then he would definitely be hungry at that time on weekends as well. I think your husband is right in giving him milk in the morning on weekends. If you want to sleep in every weekend then maybe it would make sense to push his breakfast to little later even on weekdays(if possible). If not, I would suggest waking up and giving him breakfast on weekends along with his milk after he wakes up on his own. You can get few extra minutes of sleep by giving him some milk, but poor little baby would be really hungry , so if it were M. I would fix breakfast for him.

As for waking up in the night and asking for milk , don;t give it to him.It would then become a habit. Make sure he eats a good dinner and that should keep him full until morning.

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A.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

The only advice I can offer is to look out for complaints of bad dreams. Sometimes the difficult process of breaking down the large molecules of milk correlates with bad dreams. Especially for those who are "lactose intolerant".

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sounds like he may not be eating enough during the day.
I would try to get him to eat more during the day & give him his milk either
before bedtime (it can be a calming ritual).
You're not supposed to give a child milk in a bottle to lay in bed w/as they will fall asleep w/it & can get cavities.
So we give my son milk before bed time then brush his teeth.
Is he going to be too early?
He could be waking because he's hungry.
Try to feed him more throughout the day & give him his milk throughout the day.
Also, give him some milk before bed time to calm him, brush his teeth & you can give him milk upon waking too if he asks for that.
My son used to get up early on the weekends. Now it's about 7am. They wake up hungry so that is most likely why he is waking.
Be sure he's not going to be too early or you'll be needing to get up early.
Again, just be sure to feed him more throughout the day, give him milk before bed (brush teeth) & don't put him to bed too early.
Hang in there. This stage will soon pass. Just roll "with" it. Best wishes.

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D.P.

answers from Seattle on

I wouldn't, but I know your dilemma. We were there, too. Our pediatrician recommended that if kiddo was desperate for milk (or other small middle of the night snack), that we get him up by the light of the nightlight, walk him to the kitchen where again the lights are all but off, and offer a cup of milk. All of this is done without talking and really without eye contact. If he wants to talk, don't engage. When the milk is gone (or when he starts screwing around), then walk quietly back to bed. Kiss, and out of the room you go.

Alternatively - have you offered peanut butter yet? Our ped said it was safe to offer after 2 if there weren't any other signs of food allergies. Maybe peanut-butter on graham crackers just before bed? Or other high-protein snack to fill his tummy a bit more before sleeping?

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I think that at 2 he can either wait or you need to change your schedule. As tempting as it is, I would not give a 2 yr old milk in bed. One of you needs to get up with him and serve him breakfast. I'm fortunate that DD sleeps later than your son, but MANY toddlers get up around 5-6 AM. Many families trade off who has to get up so one parent sleeps in some of the time. Kids don't do weekends. Today my DH got up with our DD because she was up at her usual time. I get up with her all week. He can man a weekend or two.

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