"Working and Not Feeling Guilty"

I work full time and have always had to have my children in daycare. Personally, even if I was a stay at home mom I would want my children in daycare. Both of them are very social and LOVE playing with other children. I have a friend who is a stay at home mom and her daughter isn't in daycare. She is VERY shy and barely likes to talk to other people or play with other kids. I think it's important that children at least go part time to daycare so they can learn to socialize with other children.....

I personally could not go back to work after I had my son. He is now 2 and I also have a 6 week old. I had planned to go back to work when my son was 8 weeks, but when I thought about not being with him it made me sick. I didn't want someone I didn't know watching him during the day and I didn't want to pay $1000 for childcare. Before I had him I thought it would be easy to go back to work. I made the decision to stay home instead. I had always worked and brought in an income, but for me staying home was the right choice. I would weigh the benefits of going back to work, or staying home. It's a hard decision to make, but whatever you do I'm sure you'll make the right one. As far as getting housework done - well I am a stay at home mom and I still run out of time. I try and have my hubby help me out or watch the kids while I clean. Good luck on your decision.

L.

Ok,
It took me a looooooong time to realize the key t o being able to work from home is schedule, and consistency. Clear cut hours for work and for play. And lots of prep work, you can do both I do very succesfully. I wake up way befor my kids nd the rest of most the world, I Do my last night dishes, a few loads of laundry adn prep all 3 meals for the day if I can. I have clients on teh east coast so I can make my calls to back there while teh kids are still asleep too. Then when they wake up it is a rotation of thier time and my time. During thier time you have to let the phone ring and emails come in..... If your like me, that was the hardest thing. But then on your work time they need to understand that you are taking your turn,... I know baby is still young and you think she might not understand that but they do. Also things like emails and phone calls can be made with a high chair or seat next to your desk while baby has a finger snack of some sort...

my kids nap for only about an hour, so I set a timer, I am allowed to clean for the first 15 mina dn tehn I have to get to work, house clean or not...

Dinner is prepped already so that doesn't takle to much time get on teh table.

HEHEHE, I know my message is a bit scattered but that is mostlyhow I am, which is why it's so important for a schedule other wise nothign will get done.

I'm sure your learning that whenyou try to work adn play with kids at the same time neither gets the attention you need. You have to make a schedule of which one gets what hour of your day, so that you can treat both the way they deserve...

H.

http://wisemommy.fourpointmoms.com

Bablance?? ha I'm still trying to find it!!! My son is 7 months and i have been back to work since mid Nov. The only reason why my house is half way decent is because my best friend straightens it up every tuesday when she watches the baby!! Righ tnow my baby is at home due to a little high maintenance feeding thing. but by the end of the year i am going to put him in daycare so he's a little more sociable. i plan on getting pregnant again this summer so i want him to get used to other kids and not being the center of attention!
I figure my house is NEVER going to be perfect!! i am just gonna' have live with the fact that there will always be toys everywhere and my house may look a little like a tornado hit it!! And i am ok with it!!

Good luck in finding that balance!!

L. C.

I just started a wedding planning business...from home. My daughter is 22 months and I am figuring out the balance. I do feell guilty at times that I need to finish that one last email that's taken me 5 hours to type from distractions and she's staring at me...."Maaaammmmaaaa". There is a balance...I know there is.

I take several small breaks in my day just for her. We run, play, chase, jump on the bed, sing songs, read books...whatever she wants.

In the morning I try to sneak up and shower before she gets up. (notice I said try-usually she's sleeping on her little couch bed next to my bed in the morning)

If I can, I try to put myself together, dressed with shoes on. Make-up and hair are after thoughts usually.

She then get's breakfast with Mama.

I check my emails and schedule for the day. I do some work, appointments while she plays or watches some PBS shows.

I take a late morning break for playing...30-40 and then we do lunch.

She naps...I crack down on phone calls and things that I can only do when I'm not distracted by her. (she currently grabs my hand from typing and pulls me away when she wants me)

She wakes up and watches a movie in mama's bed...I spend time picking up the house for an hour or so.

She plays, I work....this part is all relative to her mood.

My husband works late so usually I'm pulling out my hair by 7 or 8pm.

Dinner time, daddy time, bath time, bed time.

I just recently started using flylady.net. They send you amazing email reminders on how to care for your home and self. Check it out. Sign up at the link below to get the email reminders. Drink your water, shine your sink, go to bed, what's for dinner---these help keep you on track with your house hold chores. Super cool site!
http://www.flylady.net/pages/flyinglessons.asp

Good luck.

I have the same problem. I was torn and decided to go back to work. Now I realize he will only be 2 once. And Im missing it. I cant bring it back. I've heard the saying quality not quantity but its just not true. I miss him.

I think this affects us more than them. In your case you are at home while you work so its stickier. My husband and I have a rule of no tv or computer while he's up. It works well and we play and go outside alot. But at the end of the day I know I'm missing milestones and not there for him.

Soon he will start real school and after that the moments of it just being us and his little friends are gone. I miss him. I dont think there is a real balance. One seems to take more time. for me since im out of the home its my job. Literally about 9 hrs when I work a full day. not including travel time! So yea, for you you have options. The laundry and dishes and messes will always be there. Your son will only be a baby once

Hi T.. I think feeling guilty is part of being a good mother. After having my 3 babies I felt the same way every time I went back to work. The good thing is it allows you to continue being you while still being a mother. Day care or babysitters with the right people is also good for your baby. They learn social skills, how to adjust, they get to explore different surroundings and do baby stuff just for them. You get to explore the other parts of you at work, make money, have health insurance and all this benefits your baby. Different schedules/surroundings as they grow up will always be apart of their lives - you are just helping them get prepared.
All my best - D.

Don't feel guilty! You are working from home which is awesome so you can't let yourself feel bad about having to run for the phone every now and then!
A.

Those are hard questions. It's more dependent on you and what YOU can handle and deal with. I had no problems putting my son in daycare. It was hard to go back to work at first, but we all got into a routine and things were (and still are) great. I had a neighbor who constantly questioned my going back to work. It's just not me to stay home. I went nuts the couple of months I stayed home with my son when we moved to Hawaii. The "balance" is whatever makes you comfortable enough to not feel guilty. Know that whatever you do, your child is loved and he'll KNOW that no matter whether you work or don't. Please know, though, there's no way you can give him 100% of your time. You still have to have time for YOU. :-) You'll be fine and you'll make the best choice for you.

Hi there, I know what your feeling. I have a 6 yr old and a 4 yr. When my first son was 8wks old, I went back to work, then of course quiting when I had my second son. Then going back to work and now I'm a SAH mom. My kids are my life, but they don't consume my life. Even though your child needs you there, you don't need to be there ALL the time. They need some alone time as well. While your working, maybe you can have your son play with some toys or watch a movie while you do some work, and don't feel bad if you have to take a phone call. Your son might not even notice you've taken the call. My advise to you is to relax. You work from home, which some moms don't have the option to do. Don't feel too bad, I'm sure your son will love you no matter what! Take care, and good luck.