Work/Life Question, Need Your Advice....

I would tell them to pay up or you're quitting.

I don't like hurting feelings of family, but sometimes when you're getting stepped on like a doormat, you need to say/do something... You'll be a doormat forever if you don't.

I work for a major corporation... I still have the freedom to make Dr's appts for me or my family when needed. My boss has let me take off early for lunch to get my license plate tabs. He knows that I'll make up time by working through breaks... Or if he needs me to approve timecards on a holiday from home... Believe it or not, there are companies out there that are family friendly.

You need to look for a job outside of family. Family usually uses family members and pays them less because they feel that the members will not complain and they won't have to pay taxes and such. I have a cousin who is collecting her social security and she told me that all the years that she worked for her dad he did not file so she has a small amount coming in. And to make it worse when she worked for her brother he did the same thing to her.

So if you can find a new job and it fits what you are looking for GO FOR IT! Once you break away from the family you may find out just who you are and what you really want without the added pressure. Be your own person and be all you can be. If you want to go back to school do it as you have no other obligations to hinder you. You are 30 and soon you will be 35 and then 40 and where will you be in life? Will you still be there in the same place and your sister getting all the glory or will you have your own life and completed accomplishments? Only you can answer this one but don't beat your head on the wall and get the same headache day in and day out. Life is too short.

There's the old saying, "Time and tide wait for no man." Good luck on your future. The other S.

When I was right out of college, I worked for a family member's business. I was not paid fairly. I was living out of state on my own establishing a sales territory for him which is still running well to this day 22 yrs later.

I mentioned the pay because a guy, same age, was opening up another state territory and his base pay was higher than mine. I was living hand to mouth. My uncle told me that I was a "woman" and since I would likely get married, that I could manage to go out on dates, etc for my meals wheras this young man in another state needed more pay becauase he wanted to get married someday and he needed to be able to woo a woman.

Talk about hitting the ceiling. I did choose to leave. I had family hate me for it for a long time. I busted my a$$ for 4 yrs. Leaving was the best thing I did. I ended up with my husband and WE run OUR business now.

I vote take the plunge and do something for YOU. You are losing serious money and someone out there will appreciate your skills.

Good luck

I'd go apply for the jobs you qualify for (keeping your future in mind). then when you get a job offer that is 3x+ what you make now (or whatever)...you can flat out tell your family i understand you're family...BUT give me the pay raise i deserve or i quit....if they call your bluff, put in your two weeks notice

it may be family but FAMILY should understand your position and not let it come between you. if they do, then they never "had your back" to begin with

good luck!

I own an insurance agency but I don't sell insurance to my family. You just don't go there for these exact reasons. So find yourself another job that pays what you are worth and wish the best for the family business. Life is way too short to spend it unhappy and underpaid! Good luck!!!

I would look for a new job. You have tried to speak to them and they have dismissed you. Outside of taking them to court and suing them, they are just not equipped to take you seriously. So take your life back into your own hands and find a new job. Other places of employment have various options when it comes to doctor's appointments.

I wouldn't say another word about things being fair or unfair but prepare to interview and find a new job. Once you have been made a bonifide job offer that you want to accept, give your family the customary two week notice and move on. This is the same thing you would do if you didn't work for family. I'm just sorry your family has put you in this position.

Curious? Why are they allowed to be so incredibly disrespectful of your time, skills, talents and abilities? Why do they get to hurt you and you just "have to" take it?

My thinking is that you should interview for new jobs- make sure you interview them too by asking questions like "what is the vacation time" and "if I need to go to the doctor, are you flexible."

Your in a position to NOT NEED THE JOB< so interview them too. Then one you find a match, and get an offer, tell your family- HEY FAM, I GOT A NEW JOB. If they dont make a counter offer to match your new pay rate, then quit- try the new job, and if you like it- YAY, and if not, you can go back to the family thing. If i was you, Id use the family thing as a crutch for you to try and get REAL WORLD job experience. It seems you are too comfortable and resentful- so its time to challenge yourself, but know that your family has your back. With regard to dropping the news on family- I think its only natural for a educated girl/guy to go out from the nest and try something new- if you are afraid of hurting them, explain that you want to get more experince, as they noted you are lacking, and when you do, you want to come back and run the show. :)

Make it seem like the advantage is all theirs. As for law school- you can go, but you will need to reply on them all over again during the course of study- and once you get out- talk about a job with NO FLEXIBILITY and LONG LONG HOURS. If that is what you want for 300K a year, and 18 hour days- just keep in mind you will hardly ever see the ever so important family.
Hope that helped!

First of all congrats on obtaining a Bachelors degree, that is awesome!
What you should do is put some resume's out there and do some interviews and find out for sure what kind of money you can make and if anyone is hiring for positions in your field. Once you get a decent job offer that would be the day you sit at the round table with your family to see if they want to match it or you move on and cut the apron strings.

Are they providing you with an excellent benefits package, 401k that make up for the lack of pay? Do you enjoy the job? Does it offer advancement, continued training?

Yes, get another job elsewhere that does not involve your family!!! :) Just tell them it isn't personal, but you want to try new things and a pay raise in which you deserve and know they are going to be giving you. Get a written referral from someone in case they decide to become bitter and slash your work reputation.

But really, go out and interview or get an advanced degree before you quit or mention it to anyone, juts like you would at any other job.
Okay, here's something. I'm a stylist. A lot of stylists are asked by friends and family to give them practically free services, family discounts are great, but many go beyond the kindness of a discount. My salon owner explained to us that family members and friends who truly appreciate what you do and want you to succeed are willing to pay you for your value. So, consider that.

y.

I worked for my family's business from summers during high school through college and after. I also made less than my older brother by 8 years even though his job was non-managerial while mine was. The reason simply because he had a wife and daughter to support. I didn't necessarily resent the pay difference but resented that I wasn't appreciated for my abilities and potential. I really didn't have any growth potential with the company. I also had a need to "sow my oates" professionally. I did leave and pursue my own career. It wasn't a pleasant time in my relationship with my parents. They had plans for me in the company. But they also fundamentally wanted me to be happy and I wasn't there. I went and gained experience and learned a lot working for other companies that I eventually took back to the family company that helped it in a lot of ways. Since then, the company has sold and my parents have retired and I have all this great experience I use in my career.
To me it sounds like you are struggling with your family loyalty versus your own needs. I can relate bigtime. I don't necessarily think getting paid the same as your sister is enough to resolve this issue? It seems like you have already tried to persuade them about that. Working for family isn't as easy as people think. I'd write down all the reasons why it would benefit you and potentially the company if you move on and go over it with them. Just do it for your own happiness. Even though it my feel like a betrayal to your family, it's a betrayal for them to hold you back from your potential.

Apply for other jobs. If you get an offer with significant pay increase, show this offer to your family. Either they match the pay, or you are leaving for this new job!

You worked hard for your degree, and it's time for it to pay off!

Good luck!

I'm sorry you're in this very difficult situation.

However, it sounds like you probably already know in your gut what the right answer is:
If you family is not giving you the respect and recognition you deserve, then it's time to leave this family company and find a job that you enjoy and where your skills will be appreciated and properly compensated.

The proof is in the pudding: by going out and getting a better paying job, you are showing them what they refuse to believe: that your education and skills are worth proper recompense.

Good luck!

I would send out my resume (communicate this to the family if you want) and see what my options are. What do you truly desire to do in life? (exclude all of the desires that the family has put on you) What do you vision your future to look like? what ever you envision what is the best path for YOU to get there/ is it to make more money now or to go to school now?

Sometime we have to step on some toes in order to do what is best for us but if they love and support you they will respect your decision and i am sure it can be done in a decent way.

Quit and go somewhere else. Even if you are given the same money at this point there will be resentment on 1 or both sides. You are better off preserving your family life by leaving.

Try looking at the situation long term. Is there any chance for growth in your current situation? Would it make sense to stay with the family business while you went back to school?

I think trying to convince your family that they are being unfair is wasted time and effort and will only lead to bad feelings. If you need to move on, which is probably what I would do, I would simply explain to them that you feel that working in the family business is not right for you and you feel you need to explore other career oportunities.

Please keep in mind that with the current economic situation now is not the best time for a career move. Try to keep the doors open for you to return to family business if necessary.l

There are 'family friendly ' companies out there. I would leave. I would leave at the speed of light. From the sound of it, your family is taking advantage of you. Also, they aren't treating you with a fraction of the loyalty that you've shown them. As for going back to school. You're going to be 35-40 one day anyway, whether or not you'll have a higher degreer by then is up to you. If you get a job in the hopes of getting a counter offer from them-well, it's just like giving a man an ultimatum-there will be resentments.

Because you are family, there is an element there of inheritance/hierarchy (as in the case of your sister), so even though it is business, it is probably not following quite the same rules as another employer.

You are 30 and no kids, and at that age, it's a defining moment to try and get your life in order based on what you would like for the future.

You love your family and would love to help out but not hurt their feelings if you leave.

So my suggestion is NOT to present your case from the business perspective of your degree, experience, salary, etc, because as a family, they are ONLY going to mentally see you as the younger sister/child who got a chance to get a degree and thinking you are better than them.

Go from the perspective of FAMILY and let them know that you want to plan for your future and see what else is out there for you and possibly help out with the family business on a temp or part time basis. You want to be able to move on with your life.

Keep YOUR personal agenda/goals to yourself because you DO have a right to plan and make a life for your own without the scrutiny and since it is such a sensitive area, you do not have the freedom to share as in normal family setting.

If I were in your shoes, I think I would move on. Be polite to your family, but you need to do what is best for you. If they see no problem with the wage discrepancy now, you probably won't be able to convince them otherwise. (At least not until you are gone and maybe then they will see their mistake.) Regardless I would get a resume out there and find a good fit for you. Or if going back to school is your dream, do that. If you decide to look for another job, I would stay there until you find something else. It often looks a little better if you are currently employed when interviewing. I have never had any issues with taking the time I need for Dr appts, etc. My employer gives us sick days and personal days.

Ok--so your 7 year younger sister has 3 more years experience than you do. So at youngest, I'm thinking your sister might be around 20-21 and that would make you 27-28?
You are young and the world is at your feet! If you want to go to law school and can afford to do so, then GO FOR IT! Can you go PT to school (evenings) and pay for it as you go rather than use large loans all at O. time? That might make your current job situation more tolerable, since you're using it to fund your career change.
You don't specify what field you're in but if you could find a better paying position with another company that has tuition reimbursement for higher education, that would be SWEET! Then you could give your family the option of paying more or letting you fly.
Overall, I think working for family can be very, very good, or very, very bad--rarely any in betweens......Best of luck to you!

One other thing to consider: yes, your family may be angry NOW, but in the long run they will be proud of your accomplishment and recognize the integrity and grit it took to stand up for yourself and treat you with greater respect. No one respects a doormat.

Good for you to make this decision to move forward and best of luck!