Will Not Poop in Potty and We Dont Know What to Do

Updated on January 02, 2013
C.B. asks from Dracut, MA
11 answers

Will not poop on potty and we are Frustrated To The Max!!!!!

I have a three year old that will go #1 no problem everytime she needs to. #2 Is a whole nother story. Its not that she cant go she doesnt want to go. She will hold itfor as long as 6 days (dr said not to be super concrened until it goes over 6 days) she tells us when her "belly hurts " so we tell or take her to the potty........no poop but a ton of tears. this has been goimg on for 6+ months. when she would have to go she would go get a diaper and say her belly hurts. We fell for it for a while but now we're done. any suggestions. we feel like we don't know what to do.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.M.

answers from Boston on

my son was like this (but not my daughter - they are all different!)
After he was trained, he would ask for a pull up when he needed to poop.
We did this for about 6 months, then I told him that when we finished this box of pull ups, it was time for him to go on the potty. He counted the pull ups every day, and we would talk about how there were only 10 more days of pooping in pull ups, then 9, etc. On the actual day, I put his potty where his poop spot was, by the kitchen. That was a hard day for him - he wanted to go in his undies, but I wouldn't let him. We had gone to the dollar store and picked out 2 special gifts for him for after his first and second poop on the potty, and did lots of talking about going on the potty, playing it up. He really had to go badly, and when he just couln'dt hold it in anymore, he finally went on the potty. I went with him and held his little hands (his request). We made such a big deal out of it! I aslo took him to Dairy Queen and bought him a big ice cream cone as a special reward since it was such a big deal for him.

If you think that might work with her,give it a try. For now, I might even back off and let her go in the pull up just to give her a break. As some other people have mentioned, lots of fiber to make it easier for her to go.
Prunes, pears, etc.

Imho, not worth all the tears and trauma. See if you can find a way to remove some of the drama around it, and let her own the process. We also read lots of books, watched some videos, and my son really liked the book "everyone poops".

Good luck - it's so hard when they won't do what you want them to do!

More Answers

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

She might be ready physically but she's not ready maturity wise.
Have her watch you use the potty ("Everyone goes potty, Dear - it's nothing to be afraid of").
Let her flush for you and watch the little whirl pool ("Only poop and pee and a little bit of toilet paper go into the potty. That's what it's made for.").
Study potties, read potty stories, visit all the potties in that aisle in Home Depot - show her there are lots of potties in all shapes and colors - become an expert in potties till it's something she's comfortable with.
(I once went to a sci fi convention and heard Robert Picardo speak - he had 4 young boys at home at the time - and he said his kids Nanny repeated "Do you need to go potty?" so often that the family pet parrot learned how to say it too.)
Then try again.
In the mean time, have her drink plenty of water and eat plenty of fiber.
Give her gummy fiber bears, prune juice, lots of fruit and vegetables and beans, whole wheat bread/pasta, etc.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.G.

answers from Dallas on

If it has ever hurt, that could stop her from wanting to. If she waits till it hurts she won't want to. Talk to your pedi about softening things up. Holding it for 6 days is not cool.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Couple thoughts :
•Could she think that the poo is a part of her? Explain what poop is (food left after all good stuff is saved by her body) so she understands what it is.
•if it has hurt her in the past, I agree with asking the doc about a stool softener. 6 days is a long time!
•I might consider Pull Ups so she's not 'holding it' and try to "catch her in the act" then plop her on the toilet and make a HUGE fuss!
•change things up completely--use a different toilet/potty/ring/room. Of you're using the toilet, try having her sit backwards on it. Kids like it that way. By hey can put their hands on the tank & balance, keep a book there, action figure toys. So shake it up and change everything!
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Very common. A lot of kids don't want to part with something that is theirs - including poop. Put her in a diaper for now to take away the drama and trauma of pooping. Holding it for 6 days makes it hurt more, and that makes her dread the potty even more. Just wait it out. Yes, you can show her all the potties the store, and get a copy of "Everybody Poops" (I think that's the name of the book - it's been a while!), and you can let her see you poop.

Here's the sad reality - kids have completely control over their potty habits and the parents don't.

Wait it out. I know you are frustrated but she picks up on that and it adds to her agitation.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

is she scared to poop in the potty? Has she seen you do it? I know this is gross, but when my dd was scared to poop at my grandma's house (and we were there for 5 days) I brought her in the bathroom when I had to go and showed her that it was fine, then she was happy to poop in the potty there. I'm not sure what her hangup was, and I hate having anyone in the bathroom with me when I go, so it was hard for me to do, but it did help her realize it was ok to go.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Not sure what type of potty she is using, a training potty or a seat on the normal toilet.

All kids go through this. All kids at some point do this, so please no you are not alone in your frustration.

For us, we used a low to the ground training potty. My kid would beg for a diaper and when I said no, would go hide in the corner to poop in their pants. I would then take them up to the bathroom and make them take a shower and then redress them in clean clothes, in the bathroom. It only took a few showers for them to get over this.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Boston on

My oldest did this...went running for a pull up every time she needed to poop. So finally I just looked at my husband and said "This is the end of the line!" I told her she could absolutely poop in the pull up, but she would have to clean it up. She claimed she didn't know how to clean it up, so I told her we would teach her. I put the wipes in her hand and guided her to get it all cleaned up (so much easier to clean when it happens on the potty). Like I told my husband, as long as it's easier/less work for HER to do it in the pull up because we're cleaning it, there's no motivation for her to do it in the potty. After two pull up, every other poop from them on has been in the potty. I hope what worked for us will work for you, because I do know how frustrating it can be!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.B.

answers from New York on

I am not sure why she wont poop in the potty. What you describe is not uncommon. But, no, all kids do not go through this. My son loved going on the potty. As soon as I showed him what to do he was trained in a day and never had an accident. The holding it back is causing constipation and that in turn makes the poop hard to pass. I would give her probiotics to help loosen things up and put the potty in an easily accesible place...even in front of the t.v.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.E.

answers from Des Moines on

Have you tried warm pear juice?
I wouldn't try a diaper again we only threaten to do that and big girls go on the potty.
My daugter will go days as well she is 4 now but then her stomach hurts she won't eat either.
Look for new potty sticker chart, we did m & Ms and those worked as a reward little cheap dollar store toys, extra trip to grocery store, make her favorite muffins make it all about her.
let us know what ends up working. I have another one on the way! :)
Here is a post with more ideas

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/390406/miralax-for-k...

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.G.

answers from Boston on

I'm going through the same thing with my 2 1/2 yr old. She HAS to go but refused to do it on the potty and holds it in. My mom (a former preschool teacher) says it's a control thing. She doesn't have control over so much in her life, but THIS can can control. I also think she thinks the longer she holds it in, the more it will hurt to go. I'm at a loss too and just trying to ride it out with lots of apples. There is no magic way to make them go, they just have to decide on their own.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions