When to Start and How to Start Potty Training a Very Hot Headed Almost 2Yr Old

If he's very defiant and not willing to do things you request right now, it's not the right time. I have a boy and a girl. My boy trained at 3 1/2 and my daughter trained at 3. I know plenty of kids that were trained earlier. But really their parents were trained to ask them constantly if they had to go and kept them on a very tight schedule. I had a hard time doing this staying at home with them and being on the go all the time. My kids were both ready and trained overnight. Neither ever had an accident once they trained.

When we were starting with my first son, someone gave me some good advice. Let your kid run around bottomless (outside won't work for us right now, but in the bathroom or kitchen or someplace easy to clean up) - good to do it at a time when you think he's going to need to pee (he's just had lunch or juice or whatever.) If he looks down *before* he starts to pee, he is aware of the "feeling" of needing to pee and some gentle potty learning will be effective. If he just pees and continues to play/run/whatever, he's not ready yet.

We did start some very gentle learning when my son was about 18 mos. We got a little potty (he picked the color) and just started sitting on it every night before bath. No pressure to produce. If he peed, he peed. If he didn't, he didn't. It was just to start a sense of the routine of it - practice. If you keep it really gentle and fun "sit on your potty while i read this story" before nap or bath or whatever - just once a day, every day - it shouldn't activate a power struggle.

Take it slowly, they use the toilet when they're ready. Good luck!

He will let you know when he is ready- then you can guide and encourage him. But let him take the lead and don't push it.

you know, i waited until my daughter WAS ready. she was 3! i wouldnt push it on such a little boy. 2 is young. if you start to early the child might regress down the road. i would wait until he has all the signs he is ready ie sitting on the potty himself,dry diaper more then 3 hours, etc, please enjoy this precious time and dont rush it. i dont know why society rushes us bringing up our kids so fast. they are only little once. good luck!

Jennie has a great little tip! I have never heard that one (and I thought I had pretty much heard it all on this subject) and I think it's great! Katie's experience is exactly the same as mine (over and over with several children). It is SO much easier to let them answer the question "when to potty train". Every one of mine just did it one day. And as for those cute little potties--don't get too attached to them. It sounds like they may be very helpful to some moms. But every one of mine just wanted to sit up on the big potty when they were finally ready to put the diapers away. So just see what he does, and you might be surprised at how hard it isn't and how little there ever really was to dread.

My son will be two in January and he has the same personality as your son- What I have been doing is:
I bought him this potty chair a few months ago
http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2002&e=demo&am...
It was only $13 at Walmart, and it is great! It's cute, basic, and since the front is so high there is no danger of a boy peeing over the edge. My son wears a 2t right now and I expect that this will be a good size for him until he can sit on the toilet.
I let him sit on that for the past few months when he wanted and occasionally I would sit him on it...with clothes usually, or right before or after taking a bath when he is naked, and a few times I took his diaper off and sat him on it. He peed accidentally while sitting on it a couple of times, and each time I cheered and showed him the pee when he was done and said "you went pee in the potty, good job honey!". While I am with my son, he always comes in the bathroom when I go to the bathroom so that he can see what I am doing and is comfortable with being in the bathroom. I've also been talking to him about his diaper, when it is wet and when poopy. Before changing him, I ask him if he is poopy and he nods his head yes if he is. Over the summer I let him run in our yard naked sometimes [especially on days when we were playing in the pool anyway] and when he peed I would tell him that he peed. Now after these last couple of months he has made the connection between peeing, pooping, and his diaper versus the potty.
Now I make it a point to ask him at some point each day "do you need to go potty?" "do you want to try sitting on your potty?" Sometimes he just says No but sometimes he says "potty", and I take him right in there. Of course, most of the time he gets right back up but I try to keep him interested by encouraging him to go pee.. "make it wet" or I'll say "you can go poopy in the potty". Sometimes I let him choose a board book to bring in there and read while he sits on the potty. I don't push him any more than that. Forcing him would only make him want to rebel. Lately, he has been going on purpose. He actually squeezes as hard as he can until there's nothing left. He likes to watch himself pee, which helps,...but also he loves getting praised afterward and he claps for himself and has a big beaming smile. Just a couple of days ago, he asked to go for the first time. He kept yelling "Potty? Potty? Potty?". It's awesome. My son loves dogs [he calls all dogs "puppy" still] and loves stickers...so I got him some shiny puppy stickers from the dollar store and have been giving them to him when he does something really good [like wiping up spilled milk from the floor without me even asking him]. I've been giving them to him when he really tries to go potty, too, and that also encourages him. Anyway, I still don't plan to push him. You really have to let the child lead the way especially at this age--a lot of boys don't even start showing interest until age 3 or older. In fact, I don't expect my son to be trained until at least 3. But, you can make it fun and rewarding and use gentle suggestion in the meantime. If he gets the idea and wants to go, great! If not, don't get upset- just keep trying. Never force him, and try as hard as you can to hide your frustration if he refuses to go or if he pees on the floor or something. Just one negative experience could cause a huge setback. Anyway, I am not an expert...my son is not trained yet, but I wanted to share what has been working for us so far.

According to our pediatrician, the average age for boys to be fully potty trained is around 3 1/2. The child also has to have the desire to train and show interest, have the physical development (be able to have the muscles to "hold it"), and be emotionally ready. If all these elements are not there, it will be difficult to train and probably frustrating for both of you.

He's still pretty young (most kids aren't ready to potty-train until closer to 2-1/2 or 3) and it won't do any good to start until HE wants to. Even if he starts showing interest now, don't be surprised if that interest wanes after a little while. Just follow his cues and don't push the issue- trust me, it only makes it worse.

I haven't read the other responses so I may be repeating something but my suggestion is to wait until he shows signs of being ready... letting you know when he's pooped and wants the diaper changed, interested in the toilet/potty chair. I was told that once the training begins, if a child isn't trained within a week then he/she isn't ready. I believe that. I have boy/girl twins that recently turned four. I was dreading potty training too. However, I waited for their signs. My daughter learned about six months before her brother.

WAIT!!! until he's ready--it's not worth the stress!

My daughter started at 2.5 years old because she really was not intrested in it before that. Every child is going to be different some will start sooner or later then others. If your child is staying dry for long periods then it might be time to encourage potty usage. If he is showing intrest then it might also be time to start using the potty. In the end it is up to you how and when to start, just stay calm and stay with it unless everyone is getting very frustrated with it then it might be time for a break. Staying positive is key.

I have special potty books that can only be read or looked at while sitting on the potty. Some of the books talk about using the potty but the others are just fun books that have flaps and holes in them so my daughter sits and looks at the longer. As I said these books can only be read or looked at while sitting on the potty.

I have also have some fun coloring books and small games that are also to be used when on the potty. My daughter picked those out and I said they are special things to be used only when she is sitting on the potty.

Lastly I got a potty chart where we potty on stickers every time she uses the potty. It is going over pretty well.

Those are the only ideas I have, stay calm, patience and if either of you start getting frustrated just breath... sometimes you might need to take a break if both are losing your cool. My daughter is a little over 3 years old and it is still iffy sometimes but slowly we are making progress (not as fast as I want but every child will conquer it if we keep our patience and encouraging). Best Wishes.

If he's that bull headed now, trust me it won't get any easier as he gets older. Start now when you can bribe him and he's interested in doing 'big boy' things. www.diaperfreebaby.org is a great site. Both my boys were out of diapers by 18mos, and they are boht stubborn little turkeys.

I agree with the few responses I read--I'd wait. With my son, I started working with him shortly after he turned 2 cause he seemed like he was ready...but after a lot of tears and frustration on all parties involved (me, my husband, and son)almost a YEAR later to the day he finally picked out some big boy underwear, and the next day he was done. Decided pretty much on his own. He had just turned 3. Everyone told me that one day it just clicked, and I didn't believe them...but sure enough. I would have backed off and let him do it when he was ready had I known.

Hi S.! Give it a shot! Go shopping for a potty chair or potty seat together. Buy big boy underwear together. Make a big date out of it! Get stickers, make a chart and explain that he gets stickers if he goes potty (if you think he will be excited about stickers).
It's not the rule that boys are hard to train or train later. You may be pleasantly surprised!

S.-
I personally would definitely file this under the "pick your battles" category! I have two boys and my oldest didn't potty train until he was almost 3 and a half. I let him lead the way and I firmly believe that because I let him be in control of the decision, that is why he potty trained painlessly in one weekend. My younger guy went on the potty at 2 and has been spotty in showing any real interest since then. (He turned 3 in August.) I am just not interested in fighting with him and having it become a power struggle. That way we can save the power sturggles for the topics that matter. (Like safety related things...) Good luck! J.

Unless he is really showing interest in the potty I would hold off until he is around 2.5 or later, or whenever he starts showing interest. I heard that pushing a child to start early can make the process longer and more frustrating for both the parents and child. My son will also be 2 in January and he also is a little mover, never sits, into everything, and basically is a handful. I haven't even thought about potty training.
I have two older kids, both girls, who were both trained at around 2.5 years of age. I hear from moms of boys that boys take longer and are usually a little older than girls when they are trained.
Good luck and enjoy your little guy!:)

I just read in a parenting magazine that the average age for kids to be potty trained is 35 months for girls and 39 months for boys. So don't feel pressure to start too early.
I did the 3 day potty training method and she says you can start after 22 months. But my daughter was 33 months when we did it and I don't think that she (or I) was ready for it before then! You have to be ready too!