When Is It OK to Help Out an 8 Yr Old with a Savings Goal?

I think that she has already proven to you that she is willing to save and work hard for the things she wants. Helping her now is not going to erase this lesson, but it will let her know that you, as her parents, are always there for her and that you reward responsible behavior. These are also things that she needs to know. I say talk to her and let her know how proud you are of all of her hard work and self control and that as a reward, you're going to chip in the last $10 for her to get her doll. I don't see anything wrong with that at all.

I agree with hubby. She should finish the task by working for it. Things like
- chores around the house,
- a big task like helping clean out the attic,
- have a yard sale and anything of hers she sells she gets the $ for
- washing the car
- washing the dog

M.

My daughters both wanted American dolls when they were 8 and they had to save their own money. At the age of 8, I think $90 is a lot of money. Considering that my girls are now in their 20s, that was even more for them to save. We said if they could save half the money, we would pay the other half. They saved allowances and did extra chores to earn a little more. I think they got a very valuable lesson in saving towards a goal. I just think the goal has to be reasonable based on the age of the child. I don't see any problem rewarding her with the last $10. She will have to start saving all over again for those lovely outfits that cost almost as much as the doll!

First, I would look over her system, has she been recording that money in a log somehow? Take the opportunity to show her how to do that if not, like in an old checkbook account record. I was about that age when my parents et up an account for me and showed me how to save and record my earnings and withdrawals.

Then, I would suprise her with either an outfit for the doll or give her one last chore and gve her the last $10.

She isn't expecting it and tell her it is an award for her dedication and interest on her investment. Explain to her about how investing can earn a percentage of interest money back if you save if for long periods of time and not touch it.

I love it!
I agree to give her one more chore for $10. pay.. She will be so proud that she really did earn and then save all of that money herself. As a surprise treat, I like the suggestion of purchasing an outfit, or accessory for the doll.

Our daughter wanted a Pappason Chair and we told her that sounded great, she should save for it. She did! Then once she had the money she really waited for a sale (American Dolls do not go on sale unfortunately) but my husband and I told our daughter we were very proud of her and she has continued to be a saver.

For big ticket items, we match what kiddo (ds7) saves. For smaller ones, he saves up on his own.

As an example: he saved up $400 for our puppy (1/2 the cost of adoption fees, and 6 months of vet bills and food) - it took him 2 years to save that much, from age 3 to age 5- and has been saving for the past 18mo for his macbook. He has $360 right now. When he reaches $500, we'll match it and he gets his computer. (He'd already have it, but he spends his money on incidentals and toys and charity in addition to the money he saves).

For smaller ticket items (toys, games, etc.) he has to save it up on his own. So far the most expensive game he's saved for has been $60.

For a mutual small thing (like if he wants to have lunch out) we go "dutch".

My suggestion would be to let her continue to save for her doll. She only has $10 left for it and it will feel "victorious" for her.

I don't think you should help her by just giving her the money. But if you want to offer her some extra opportunities to EARN it, then I think that is fine. Sounds like so far, she hasn't DONE anything to save up except not spend what has already been GIVEN to her. While it is a great exercise in patience, it isn't teaching her to WORK for what she wants.

Our kids have certain things they are required to do "just because" they are part of our family (plates in the dishwasher after meals, taking out the kitchen trash, setting the table, cleaning their rooms, putting away laundry, etc). And things they earn "commissions" on (cleaning the bathroom, taking the bins to the street on trash day/bringing them back after the trucks have collected it, vacuuming, pulling weeds, sweeping the front porch, mowing the yard, etc).

I would make a list of items your daughter could do to earn extra $, and list beside each item what you will pay her to do them. Then let her figure out what she is willing to do to earn the money. And I would NOT make the list enough to cover the entire $10 either in one session. Make it where she has to plan: Vacuuming the house ($1.00? - not to be paid for more frequently than every other day); walking the dog once a day for several days ($0.50 per walk?); scrubbing the toilets ($0.50 per toilet?); pulling weeds from the flower bed ($2.00?); etc.

She will feel such pride at having actually EARNED the money! AND, it will give her a new appreciation for the value of a dollar, something sadly lacking in a lot of kids these days (my own included).. seems all the extended family and friends tend to give $ or gift cards for special occasions and they always have something handy to spend on any little thing without having to work for it.
I think the reward she gets for saving for the doll should be the intangible life lessons she is learning, not the rest of the money.

I say give her one chore to do and give her the $10. I agree with you that she should save up her money and you are instilling a GREAT gift of learning how to save for what she wants. This is one thing that is missing in our young adults these days.

You pick the chore (weather simple or hard) and take her to get her doll. What a trooper and I bet she will take care of that doll with the pride because she had to save for it! Don't just give it to her....it defeats the purpose. But make it a subtle move to help her. :) Good luck and way to go mom and dad!

What your daugther has done is amazing and i believe should be rewarded, acknowledged as it is a rare skill. When my kids were a bit younger (now 15 and 18) and I wanted them to have better savings skills, i gave them $1 for every dollar they saved (or donated to charity). Now, they have debit cards with a fixed amount of $$ and must manage ALL of their expenses; if they want more $$, they have to earn it (they have jobs); if they want to borrow, they can but they have a repayment schedule (all managed online). When they go into the workforce, i want them to begin saving immediately (they will have big college debt) and so incentivizing savings habits is, I believe, a good thing. To this day, I will offer to pay half for things (prom dress, whatever) and they are very appreciative. For an 8-year old, $90 is a LOT (it's a lot for me!).

I think this could go either way, depending on how you position it. The most important thing is to be positive, reward the behavior (which is amazing) and recognize it. Get her a great card and write a wonderful note in it (and maybe include a $10 bill - she will remember this always!). Your husband's point of view is fine, as long as he REALLY appreciates what she's done and tells her in a very loving and appreciative way. Either way, she needs to know she's done an amazing thing. Good luck.

I say let her earn the rest of the money. If you want to speed it up, give her EXTRA chores (not paying her for her regular contributions to keeping the household going) to earn some money - eg. weeding the gardens (or better yet the gardens for a neighbor), washing down some things stored in the basement or attic that just need a little TLC, etc. Then she has earned and saved every bit for that doll. And you can reward her by getting her an extra outfit, or book for her doll. Win-Win.

My girls were given Bitty Babies when they were Baptised/Adopted and love them to death...

I agree with your husband. Help her find opportunities for her to earn the last bit of money. Do you have a friend who needs a "mommy's helper" for a couple hours now that school is out? Lemonade Stand? etc. Then you can pay the shipping and handling or buy an outfit or book for her new doll.

I'm with the others. Make her earn the last $10.
The American Girl dolls are simply wonderful dolls. My daughter loved them and still does - she's 15. We've put them away, because she really didn't want to part with them. You can go on the website and check the sale page for clothes and accessories. I used to check the site once a week for bargains. I found a ton!!
Yes, they are expensive, BUT they do last, they are gorgeous, and they teach good values, history, and girl power!
YMMV
LBC

I wouldnt pay her for chores around the house. That sets a bad precedent. (if you want me to unload the dishwasher, it'll be 2 dollars like the last time!) when chores should be done because you're a member of the family. If it's something unusual, though, like washing the car, or something that I pay 10 dollars for anyway at automatic car washes, I think that's ok. Otherwise, let her earn it herself. As a child, I always treated my toys and things better if I saved up for them, and I still do as an adult.

I think you should see if she can do some little jobs for other members of your family,(like grandparents or aunt/uncles) and then you pay her so that she feels like she earned the money. I think she will really appreciate something she did everything she could to get. I think if you pay her for jobs at your own house, it can create the idea that you get paid for being a member of the family and that occasionally extra jobs are going to be asked of all family members and we just do them because we are a family.

I would not give her the last $10. I think it sends the wrong message, maybe that you didn't think she could do it. (Which of course is not the case. You'd just be trying to be nice. But, it could send lots of mixed signals. What about surprising her with a little accessory to go with her doll to show her you're proud of her and to congratulate her? (Something small, and she could even choose it if you say you'd like to get her something to go with the doll. I don't know if they make accessories or something that would be inexpensive--we're not there yet with our little girl.) : ) Good for her--I know she'll be so proud of herself and will probably take really good care of it since she worked so hard!

impressive. either way you go you have started a great thing. you know your daughter best, is earning the whole amount herself crucial? if not, i say give it to her. tell her how proud you are and that you'd like to help. offer her the choice of accepting. then you are teaching that family members help each other out without keeping track and that it is not every man for himself. my parent's have helped me out through some rough times and it is good that i knew i could ask them. now that i'm more financially stable and i treat my grad school student sister. odds are my sister will treat my daughter one day. if you do choose to give it to her i would not make it a reward or payment for a chore unless you usually pay for chores. good luck!

I agree with allowing your daughter to "earn" the remaining $10. That's not only a fair compromise with your husband, but also allows your daughter the victory of having done it all on her own, while knowing in the back of her mind that you rewarded her a little for her efforts by giving her the opportunity to earn her final $10 to reach her goal. Maybe give her a list of chores she can choose from with dollar amounts next to them that she can choose to "earn" her remaining $10. For example:
Unload dishwasher - $2
Water the garden - $4
Fold a load of towels - $2
Wash the car - $10 (I used to wash my mom's car at that age in exchange for a trip to the ice cream shop!)

You get the idea... and I also like the idea of rewarding her efforts with a little extra, maybe an outfit, or accessory.

NO WAY!!! It will be a huge accomplishment for her. Do not taint it. My 7 year old son has had to earn money for a Lego walking at at, $140. He was not allowed to use any Christmas or birthday money . Only hard work. He started at Christmas and has taken the trash in and out, babysat, cleaned the playroom, he even scoops dog piles . He now only has $24 to go. He is beyond excited and soooooo proud. We are teaching him hard work and goals pay off not handouts. You giving her the money makes you feel better. Teaching her she can achieve a goal on her own through hard work not handouts gives her integrity pride confidence. Encourage her and find good jobs for her without doing it for her.

Good luck!

I have an 8 year old girl who also wants her first American Girl doll! If she saved $85 I would totally give her the last $10. I think that's an impressive amount of money for an 8 year old to save up (right now mine has about $5 to her name b/c she spends whatever money that comes her way on junk) Go ahead and reward her - it might inspire her to continue to save for what she really wants in the future.

8 years old is a pivotal developmental year, mentally and emotionally. Allow her the great pleasure, sense of accomplishment, and increased self esteem that comes with earning every little bit herself.

The strength of character, determination and perseverance that this shows is inspiring! She's developing leadership qualities that others will emulate in years to come. Life is not easy, but it can be lived with great strength, courage and fulfillment. She's well on her way!

Don't take away the strength and joy of her accomplishment by sweet, mommy-hearted, very dear, and unintentionally undermining her achievement by giving her the money. Your husband is correct in this case.

If you want to help, arrange with someone(s) you trust to call/ come over and hire her for simple jobs so she can earn the cash. (Save earning cash for chores at home in case you need it during the teenage years.)

Once she's purchased the doll and has it, maybe you and your husband can take her AND THE DOLL somewhere special (maybe she can even pick the place!) to CELEBRATE! CHERISH her accomplishment! What a special daughter to bring such joy and inspiration! CONGRATULATIONS!

I say don't give her the money. Reason being is it's all about building blocks for the future. I know she's only 8, but if you give in now it could set a pattern for you and an expectation for her. What happens when she is an adult and is saving money to buy something bigger? What if she has most of the money saved and just needs the last little bit? Will she expect you to bail her out or will she use credit? Either possibility is something you don't want her to lean on. If she's worked this hard to save $85, what's a little more time to get ten more dollars? Nothing really. Plus, she might even decide that the doll isn't worth it once she gets all the money.

I agree with you. She's already learned the value of saving for something. My son is quick to spend our money, but when it's his he considers how much he'll have left. She might find out it wasn't worth that amount of money in the end. Another thing you could do to let her know how proud you are of her is when she gets the doll, buy an outfit. Outfits alone are expensive.

i understand your point - i would probably want to chip in, too! but your daughter had come this far all on her own, why not let her get the last 10 dollars and let her call the doll her own completely? she will be SO proud of herself and it's a great lesson!! True, she will be happy if you give her the money as well. But if she raises the money all on her own, then she will have the knowledge that she can do it, and that knowledge will last the rest of her life!

I would agree with your hubby. Your daughter will eventually recognize that you are the one that will give in. I know because I learned this about my parents. I can imagine how hard it is for you but she needs to understand that some things cost alot of money. What if you give her a "special" project that you need help on so that she can work for the money and your hubby won't think that you are just giving her the money.