When Do You See a Therapist?

I would visit a therapist a.s.a.p!! How did he even find out that this stuff is available for viewing? Is there an older male in his life that does this? I would be concerned about where he learned that you can "google" it. Seven is not an age where children are usually interested in the other sex, and certainly not their body parts. Get help now!!

Hi, I asked my husband to look at this question with me.

There are multiple issues here:
First, even though you have parental controls on, your son seems to have free access to a computer from the age of six, which is entirely too young to be using a computer unsupervised.

Second, a healthy adolescent sexual appetite usually does not manifest itself until around ten years old or so. When my husband was seven, girls had cooties and he was not interested in any parts of their anatomy. However, around ages eleven or twelve, that changed.

Where do *you* think this behavior and interest is coming from? Although it doesn't sound like your son requires extensive therapy, it would be worth having him talk to someone in that field to determine if your son's actions/interest is age-appropriate, or if something else is going on.

And please, make your computer accessible through passwords only and keep it in a central location, so you have supervision at all times. Kids are smarter than you think they are and it is not that difficult to bypass parental controls. (My husband is an IT guy and knows his stuff. He also recommends getting a good virus-scanning application. )

I agree with Laura H. You need to find out what is going on with him!

After your SWH I strongly urge you to take your son to a therapist who specializes in children with exposure to sexual activity. Sounds like the 15 year old exposed your son to the Internet at the very least.

Hmm... one thing I would start to worry about is....

will he try to actually see girls? Will he ask girls on the playground or friends to pull up their shirt?

I agree that the entire computer needs to be password protected... stop his access to the computer completely, unless he is being directly monitored.

Has your brother ( who assaulted your daughter ) had contact with your son? I'm assuming so. You need this looked into by a therapist. It's called "discovery work" and a child therapist will talk to the child to find out if there is anything that has even gone on that would then need to be addressed through therapy. It's also possible if your 5 year old child was sexually assaulted that she has been acting out sexually with your son and he is now having problems. BOTH of your children should start in therapy.

A therapist now would be good.
And so is limiting his computer access.
Make sure he only can use it in supervised areas when you can see what he's doing.
What does Dad say about this?

In my experience, this isn't an unusual age for kids to be curious about body parts of the opposite sex. During this general age, from about 5 - 7, I remember playing "doctor" with my siblings of both genders. We were very curious. We didn't have google then, or we might have tried it.

But, because you've had some sexually related trauma in your family, I would err on the side of caution and talk with a child counselor.

I'm so scared for you and your children. This is a path you're already on that is hard to get off. Please take this seriously. If it's been going on for a year, he started this behavior at 6. No, that is NOT normal curiosity at this age. Someone saying "that's the way the world is now" or "this is the generation these days" is just too lazy to monitor their own kids; letting society and teachers and everyone else watch their children and throwing their hands up in the air instead of being proactive. THIS IS NOT WHAT NORMAL 6 YR OLD BOYS THINK ABOUT!!! My son is 6 and I would be terrified if he was doing this. You're doing the right thing by asking for advice about this subject, it obviously is not setting right with you, but please go to a professional and get help for your son. Listen to some of the answers the other moms are giving you; this is serious and you need outside help. Good luck and God Bless you and your children.

I got divorced a few years back and my then 4 year old was going to see a "friend" aka therapist and the therapist advised me to get a few books for her on age appropriate explanations of sex and body parts - she was very, very curious as to boys body parts and sex. There was no foul play - she said some kids are just more curious at different ages. We had a small discussion about it and it was over.

First of all, I am so sorry for what has been done to your daughter!!! Secondly, I would get him to therapy asap. Even if he was not assaulted I am sure he knows something is wrong, maybe he even feels guilty. I would keep the open communication with him going and not try to make him feel bad or punished for trying to look at the pictures simply because you dont want him to feel like the human body is bad or something to sneak around about. Please dont believe that there is a "remedy" that some quack job can give him, there isnt a pill or herb in the world that will change this.

Unfortunately the interest in sex has hit my daughterr's second grade class already. She came home a few weeks ago and asked why boys were saying 'sex me' to girls.

After talking with other moms at the school, I got more information than I expected about games girls and boys have been playing since 1st grade. Fortunately my daughter was not in class last year with the main kids who seem the most fascinated with sex, but we talked about not playing games that feel uncomfortable after I learned what is going on.

I have spoken with the school counselor and she was well aware of what is going on and said they are handling it, but then yesterday my daughter said one boy said he was 'hot in his pants' for girls and was going to go 'relax with his girlfriend' and proceeded to make out with his hand. He got written up but that doesn't seem to make any difference.

In speaking with a friend whose son goes to school in south Texas, I learned this is not just happening in my daughter's school. I don't remember this stuff coming up until I was in 5th grade so I was caught off-guard. I think kids are being exposed to sex at an earlier age through various forms of media and aren't really aware of what it is so they just repeat what they see and hear.

I think counseling would be a wise idea....help him understand what is going on and try to avoid addictions and sneaky behavior that could lead to other things later.

Also, I build websites for a living and have never allowed my daughter to go online on her own. I don't leave the computer on and she does not know the password. She gets computer lessons at school so she knows how to use it, but I have never encouraged her to spend time online. The only time she gets online is when I am sitting with her to Skype her aunts. I don't see the value in exposing kids to computers at such a young age other than getting some basic understanding at school. I would lock down your computer so you son doesn't spend time on it. Find other things to keep him occupied so it doesn't feel like a big deal that the computer time is going away.

Take him to a homeopath. There are remedys for this type of pre adolescent behavior in a child so young. The homeopath will give him the right one.

Take away his computer privileges.

I can't understand why you have given him access to this media? There are parental locks for everything now days. Obviously these images are in his head now and can't be erased, but come on mom. Take control and sensor everything. It's only going to get worse.
He's a boy and that's how they are made.

I would definently get him into theropy. It is possible that your brother could have done stuff to him or around him when he did it to your daughter. Sounds like he's been exposed to something. He does not understand his feelings and theorpy will be the only way to get through. If not he will more than likly have an addiction to pornography for the rest of his life. I say that as a wife that struggles with a husband that fights that addiction daily. Get him help while he's young!!!

Good luck and God Bless!!!