I'd love your opinions on this. My 12 year old daughter plays basketball at school - we were so proud she made the team since she's never played basketball before! She really enjoys it (except for having to be at school at 6:30am for practice!). She also plays soccer, has been since she was 5 and LOVES the game, whether playing, watching, or refereeing (she refs recreational games for the younger players). We frequently attend FC Dallas games.
Here's the conflict. She has a basketball tournament on Saturday, February 11. On that day, the U.S. Women's soccer team will be playing a game against New Zealand in Frisco. The soccer game is at 3:00pm -- which is the exact time of the final game in the basketball tournament. When I told her this she burst into tears. She so badly wants to see the women play, and they're unlikely to play again in our area since they schedule their games all over the U.S. And I really wanted her to see it because I think it's important for our athlete daughters to see successful women athletes in action. But she also has a very strong work ethic and knows she commited to playing basketball. Plus, if her team does make it to the final game but she misses it, then she has to sit out their next game (school district policy).
As a little more background -- my daughter is a hard worker. She makes all A's in school (and she's in several GT classes) all while always participating in some sport (usually two at a time). And the fact that she is crying over this breaks my heart. But I'm going to let her make the decision. I did tell her that, if her basketball team doesn't make it to the final game then we'll immediately go to the soccer stadium in the hopes that it didn't completely sell out and we'd hopefully be able to get some last minute tickets.
What would you do? Would you make the decision for your daughter?
ADDENDUM: There are more than enough girls on her basketball team. She actually plays on the "C" Team (3rd level) and they have enough girls to make 2 1/2 teams! So it's hard to say if her team will be "let down" because honestly it opens up the playing field for some other girls to get a little more play time. And she would play in every other game in the tournament other than the last one, assuming her team makes it that far. Funny how many of you said "she has to play basketball." She is 12 . . . she is one of the most dedicated, hardworking 12 year olds I know . . . so whatever she decides I know she'll feel some guilt over missing out on the other opportunity.
the US Women's national team only comes to town about every 4-5 years. I would go to the soccer game.
I'm all for keeping commitments and all of that, but she's TWELVE and basketball is not her first sport and she plays on the C team.
USA! USA! USA!
:)
While I understand the importance of exposing your daughter to sucessful women athletes, they would be sucessful without their team and the commitment they made to their team. You daughter made a commitment to her basketball team and it's a commitment she should keep despite the cost of missing a women's soccer game.
Sometimes life is making the hard decisions. She needs to go to her basketball tournament. She made a committment to this team and needs to honor that. Explain to her that if one of the ladies on the soccer team decided she wanted to do something else instead of playing the game she would be letting her team mates down. That is what she is doing with the basketball team.
While I agree that it is important to see successful women athletes in action, she also needs to understand that they would honor their committments to their team. That is what makes them successful on and off the court and field.
I think she needs to take part in the basketball game.
Just because she is on the "C" team doesn't mean she gets a pass to break her commitment. I guarantee you the "A" kids would not even consider ditching a game to go sit & watch a soccer game. It's like saying that because she is not a star player, it's okay for her skip out once in a while.
What kind of message are you sending her if you allow her to break a promise she made to several other people, just so she can go do something "fun" for herself & toss other people's feelings in the garbage?
I think this is where having your kid in too many activities backfires & puts too much pressure on them They want to be a part of both lifestyles and as a result, you have a 12 year old being pulled in 2 different directions needlessly. If she feels so strongly about watching a soccer game, then she needs to play soccer.
Such is the life of us all. We all have commitments, and we often will have to sacrifice something that we want to do in favor of the thing we have committed to do. Your daughter is a part of a team. She needs to honor her committment. That decision will teach her way more about being successful in all parts of life way more than skipping out on her committment and watching other people play a game.
This is a great learning opportunity for your daughter. Let her make the decision. Show her how to make a chart writing down all the positives and negatives of each decision and then let her decide. Even if you believe she is making the wrong choice, let her.
I would let the coach know what is going on and that she will be at the first games but not at the end one. She is 12 and most kids at that age get only minutes per game anyway it won't be the end all.
She needs to play in the basketball tournament...she made a commitment to the team bottom line.
Is it a regular game or is it a playoff. A regular game if you can give enough notice where a sub can play then I'd say go to Soccer. If its a play off or final then she needs to be at the basketball game.
The basket ball team will be there next week and for a long time after that but the soccer team is a once in a lifetime thing. Encourage her to go to the game and then just play basketball when she can again. Since she is on the C team they may not even need her.
This is a hard question to have the exact right answer for, but my advice is to encourage her to go to the Soccer game, if you can afford the tickets. She's had an interest in soccer for much longer than she has been in basketball, and it sounds like she is a very hardworking, dedicated student in anything she attemps. Sounds like she's earned a break. Maybe you could talk to her Bball coach and explain the situation. Chances are, he/she will not understand, but don't let that make you change your mind. Their only concern is their team winning. Years from now, that amazing daughter of yours may barely remember the game she played if she chooses that instead of going to see the professional game, but she'll always remember getting to go if you let her. Bigger picture, I vote for her to go see the U.S. Women's Soccer game. :) You'll enjoy it just as much as she does, and she'll be SO happy to go. Good luck!!
This is a tough one. My daughter is 13 and plays basketball too. My first thought is that she made a commitment to her team and she needs to honor it. However, where we live many athletic girls are multi sport players and most coaches know that and don't have a problem with it. How many girls are on the team? Is she a starter? If she does not play will it have a detrimental impact on the team (if there are 15 or more players, no sweat, coach will have all positions covered)? Those answers should help her make a decision. While I believe it is really important for her to honor her commitment to the team, she is young and she has many games and even more tough choices in her future. Whatever her decision, once she makes it support her decision and help her feel good about it.
