What Should I Write in a Letter to My Future Step-mom?

Updated on November 06, 2012
V.D. asks from Smithfield, UT
4 answers

I know it sounds dumb, but I'm 33 and my father is remarrying to someone I really know nothing about and I don't know what to write.. His last marriage was an utter failure and an horrible experience for me. His last marriage started when I was 12 and when your a child and live with your parents you get a chance to get to know them. But now that I'm much older and have children of my own, I've only met her twice and really don't know her. She has 4 sons too that are married and away from home. Part of me is a bit miffed that my dad hasn't made an effort to have us all get to know each other better before they get married. After my last experience with his getting married I'm really concerned. The wedding is in 5 weeks and because I live a bit of a drive away from where they live, I thought I'd write a letter to her. You know to kind of break the ice and welcome her into our family. All nice and supportive. My mind is clouded with feelings left over from his last marriage so I can't think of what to write. I just want to get off on her good side.

Any suggestions?

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So What Happened?

i love everyone's ideas. I think I'll keep it short and sweet. I want to be sincere and since I still hold some hard feelings from my dad's last marriage and how he handled it I'll need to keep it short with a sweet message. I don't every want to feel about her the way I felt about my last step mom. Thanks for your help ladies. I'm still working through the wording of my letter and will have to post it here when I get it figured out. 8-)

More Answers

S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

First and foremost, whatever you write make sure you are sincere. You don't want your feelings of irritation with your father coming out in the letter. Do you feel as if you can do that? If not, I wouldn't write the letter.

I guess it would help me to help you if I knew what excited you about this woman. Tell us your thoughts about why you are excited to welcome this person into your family. Just jotting your thoughts down here will help you.

A better idea might be a card - they make fantastic ones that say things we cannot come up with - they pay people to be brilliant with words!

If you decide to do it yourself, just keep it short and sweet -
" I want to welcome you to our family, we have a lot of love to give and I am excited for you to be a part of that. I look forward to getting to know you and your children better as the years go by. I wish you and my dad the best!"

I am no hallmark.....

1 mom found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

My hope for you is that you have a long happy life together and can only hope that you will love my Father as much as I do!

~If it were my family it would also include something along the lines of 'Welcome to the crazy'! ;)

1 mom found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

What about a little something like a gift or flowers? Then you can keep the sentiments short if you can't come up with what to say, but it will still be an acknowledgement of her personally.

Who doesn't like chocolate? And free shipping: http://www.winecountrygiftbaskets.com/gift_basket_list.as...

1 mom found this helpful

N.N.

answers from Detroit on

My suggestion would be to stop thinking about the last marriage completely! Give this newstep mom room to make her won successes and mistakes. Even if you were to see something you seen in the past SM they are still different people and will handle things differently.

Good for you for giving her a chance.

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