What Have I Done?

I didn't stay home as long as you but with my first I was home for the fisrt 16 months. After that financial situations forced me to go back to work, so we put her in daycare. I was soooo worried about her all the time, I got there to pick her up as soon as I got out of work. As time went on and I saw how happy she was I decided that she would be alright. I now have my son in daycare as well. I wanted to wait until he was a year old but I couldn't. He has been going now for about 2 months only 2 days a week, when I pick him up he seems very happy and after his birthday will be going full-time. I also used to work in a center when I was younger, as long as you did your research and found what you feel is a very good center with good teachers you should be fine. I understand your feelings right now, but as time goes on you will feel better about it, just watch for cues. If your child is happy then you made a good decision. My daughter who is now 3 never even wants to leave when I pick her up, there are days we stay there for about an hour after I arrive because she is busy playing with her friends!!! Keep your chin up, everything will be great, you'll see.

As a mother who went back to work (only part time) I wrestled with the daycare issue also. To be honest, my son is with my sister in law, whom I love and adore (not the sister in law that I have written about in the past) and who had retired from running her own daycare in order to enter corporate world and I sill have major anxiety! It is perfectly normal to feel the way you do, one of the things that keeps me from jumping out of a running vehicle is that my son is HAPPY and oh so well adjusted when we pick him up from auntie's house - how is your son? That is who's body language and happiness I would take my cue's from!
Good luck

As a daycare provider myself, I can assure you that the feelings are normal and if you did not feel this way I would think something was wrong, especialy where you were a stay at home mom for so long. You did everything right, and you are not wrong for leaving him. I think it was the right thing in your situation, a hard one, but the right one non the less. Structure is the best thing you can do for a child. Having them around other kids is good too, that is why I started my daycare, My husband wanted me to stay home with our kids but I could not sit at home and do nothing and I also wanted them to have the interaction with other children. I dont know if I helped at all. A.

I think every mother who goes back to work and puts a child in daycare asks this very same question. Unfortunately, there is no right or wrong answer. You have to do what feels right in your heart. Some children thrive in daycare and others don't. If your child is happy, then you shouldn't worry too much.

I stayed home for the first year with my oldest (now 4.5). I went back to work part-time and then moved to full-time. Both my children went to daycare and I struggled and still do struggle with that decision.

I recently made the choice to start building a part-time business from home so that I could cut back my hours in corporate america and still help pay the bills. :-) It's working out well and I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel better having my kids home with me more and knowing that I'm building a business that will allow me to work my job around my life. I listened to my heart. That's all anyone can ask of you!

I FELT THIS WAY TOO. I USE TO WORK 11-7, THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT, JUST SO I WOULD'NT HAVE TO USE DAYCARE. THEN THE COMPANY CLOSED AND I LOST MY HOURS AND ONLY HAD A DAYTIME JOB, SO I HAD TO USE DAYCARE. I FELT HORRIBLE AT FIRST. BUT WHEN I FOUND THE KIDS LOVED IT AND LOVED BEING AROUND OTHER KIDS IT PUT MY MIND AT EASE. I FEEL THAT KIDS NEED TO BE AROUND OTHERS TO GROW UP STRONGER AND HAVE A FEEL OF THE WORLD. IF YOU EVER HAVE A SENSE OF SOMETHING "WRONG" AT DAYCARE, DON'T HESITATE TO CHECK IT OUT. I'M GLAD MY CHILDREN HAVE HAD THE EXPERIENCE.

A.,
I understand how you feel. I would have loved to stay at home with my son but i was only able to do it for the first three months. In the beginning he had a nanny that would come to the house and take care of him. This is when I lived in NY and had the help of my immediate family as well. I now live in Rhode Island and it is very difficult. We have or now four year old in a great daycare in North Smithfield. We live in North Providence so it is a ways away, but Hylda is great!!! it only took me 20 tries to find her. it is difficult leaving him, and I do worry, but he has the stability and structure that he needs and sometimes can't get at home because my husband and I both work. He works at a bank and I am a restaurant manager. We barely get to see each other, but when we do, we try to make the most of it. We share the household responsibilities to try and make it easier on everyone. There are days when I am just so tired I can't even lift a finger and so he picks up the slack, and vice versa. it can work, you just have to be patient and trust yourself. I am also going to school full time online so you can imagine the time constraints. Do i wish that I could be home with my son all the time, of course, but I know that he is getting the next best thing, and learning to develop friendships and prepared for school this fall. Hope this helps,
S.