Weaning off Pacifiers

Updated on February 05, 2008
B.B. asks from Eugene, OR
32 answers

Hi! I have a 15 month old son who was born slightly premature. In the NICU, they gave him a pacifier to help strengthen his suck so he could learn to nurse more effectively. Fast forward a year, and my son's pacifier is his best friend! He sometimes has one in his mouth and one in each hand! It's not really a problem, but I would like to have him weaned off the pacifiers by his 2nd birthday. I'd rather go a slow, less crying route- hence why I'm asking now instead of just cutting him off cold turkey. Any ideas? What's worked for you? Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone who responded! I think the best way is to limit it's use and quantity (so he isn't able to have three pacifiers at once!) and then to slowly "lose" the pacifiers over time. I also love the stories of trading in for gifts, the "Binky Fairy" and losing it while camping! Thanks again!

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K.O.

answers from Bellingham on

I have not been through this yet as my son is only 11 weeks, but I too have asked how to get him off the "bo-bo" so when that time comes I will know what to do... the best one I have heard so far was that the parent cut a small piece of the pacifier off each week with scissors and soon, there was nothing left to suck on... worked really well for them and it was pretty slow and painless. Good luck!

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M.A.

answers from Seattle on

It sound harsh, but with my first one I just took the heat and took it away, and I helped her to learn to comfort herself another way, the longer you wait the harder it will be, I see adults that suck on pacifiers and that is sick...lol.. just be VERY PATIENT.

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B.H.

answers from Portland on

Hi. I am the mom of 3 grown children.
One son especially loved his pacifier. As he was in day care, I mentioned that the new babies needed pacifiers and it would be nice if he would give them his and then I let it lie. About a week later he asked if we could give the pacifiers to the babies at day care. We did and he never seemed to miss them. I was amazed that it worked.
Might be worth a try.
B.

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L.H.

answers from Seattle on

Good Morning! So my now 8 year old was a pacifier baby too. Actually she had her binky's until she was 3. However, at around 2 I told her that she could have her binky's anytime she wanted as long as she was laying in her bed. I said "sometimes everyone just needs a little break." I kept the binkys in a cabinet and she would occassionally tell me during the day that she wanted her binky's and I would give them to her and she would go lay down for 10 minutes or whatever and give them back to me. Of course, she still had them when she went to be at night and took a nap. About 3 months before her 3rd birthday I made a big deal about what a big girl she would be when she turned 3 and that the coolest part about turning 3 was when the binky fairy came. We talked about the binky fairy almost every day for the next 3 months...she got really excited! On the night before her birthday we put all of her binky's in a little basket on the front porch and the binky fairy came and took them all away to a new baby who needed them and left her a big girl bike! She never looked back...didn't once ask for the binky's ever again.

So boys are different than girls and every child is different but that is what worked for us. Now, my five year old is a thumb sucker...turns out it's frowned upon to cut off thumbs and put them in a basket...who knew! ;)

L.

P.S. 38 y/o sahm to 8 and 5 year old girls. Good luck!

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E.W.

answers from Portland on

I have three children, and all have been binkie lovers. I currently have a 10 month old whom I plan on weaning at 2yrs old too. What I have found that works is when they turn 2, dont buy anymore binkies and slowly 'loose' each one. Until you have one left and loose it somewhere like on a trip, someplace where you cannot go back and retrieve it, and then explain to the child that it was lost and there is nothing you can do about it. Your child will probably cry a few times for it when going to sleep and things, but they will slowly forget about it. My sister-in-law slowly started limiting use of her sons binkie at 2yrs, like they only stayed in the bed and were only used at bed time. Then at his three year birthday-since he was a 'big kid' now, she had him throw his binkies away himself! It worked like a charm. My other friend cut the tip of the binkies so they werent any good any more and that made her daughter not use them because they didnt work. Good Luck!!! A fellow mom from Hillsboro

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C.L.

answers from Seattle on

Your baby may need to continue to suck to help develop the vestibular system. It's not a good idea to get a child to stop sucking because we as adults want it. Learn of what your child is saying by the body language. If your child is having delay's, this means that there are sensory systems that need strengthening.

Its more meaningful to change what your child sucks with. Such as using a straw when drinking.
This will help with neurodevelopment of the eye's & so forth. If your interested in learning more information about this, look up Handle.org which is about Holistic Approaches to Neurodevelopment and Learning Efficiency, through gentle enhanced exercises that are individualized for each individual.

Your childs wanting to suck is a natural instinctive need, not just a habit. A child will stop having a need to suck when there's no longer the instinctive need, such as when the systems are developed enough. Every child has there own pace of development.

Another idea of helping to curve when a child uses a pacifier is at nap-time or bed-time. Every time the child wants a pacifier, plan to have the child go lay down. This could help make an adjustment of association.

If the child see's adults using a straw, they'll eventually find it interesting enough to use as well.

Good Luck!

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S.M.

answers from Eugene on

Sorry I said anything....you will have to find someone who believes in pacifiers to help. I am sure that they have there place, i am just not sure where. I would like to suggest that you not allow him to carry them all around though.

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L.G.

answers from Eugene on

One of my 5 sons loved a pacifier. I set firm limits: the pacifier could be used only in bed, or while traveling and strapped into the car seat. At two years old, he lost it in the snow, and we said, "Oh well...." He was sad for about a day, then got over it. No different than weaning from the breast.

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S.P.

answers from Portland on

Don't worry about it! We had a premie too and he got his "binky" when he was in the doctor's office circumcised a week after he was home from the hospital. I didn't have the heart to take it away. He was extremely attached! Sometimes he had 3 at a time! We had a drawer full of them. I was concerned too of course. I asked our dentist about it. My dentist (who is the best in the area) said his son had his until he was 6! His regret was that he didn't keep it! They had a little ceremony and threw it in the garbage can and he wished he would've gone in and retrieved it. My son is 12 now and his teeth look great. He had the binkies until he was 5 1/2. He would hide them behind something if the doorbell rang. We have great memories and stories surrounding the binkies and I was one mom who was never going to get him one. So don't worry about it if it gives comfort, who cares.

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A.G.

answers from Seattle on

Hi my daughter was also premature and loved her pacifier, ALL OF THEM! I started collecting them each night and putting them in the fridge... After she picked one's she didn't like cuase the mouth piece was cold then moved them to the freezer... She was a tough one... It got to the point where she didn't ask for one or want one at home but she did have one in the car and when she went to bed.. It took about 3 months to completely get her free of them...

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T.V.

answers from Seattle on

This isn't a weaning way but thought it may help later on if weaning doesn't work. When my brother was little he was just like your son binky in each hand and one in the mouth. When he turned three my mom wanted the binky to go sooooo....she threw away all the extra binky's around the house until he was down to one. One day we went on a walk and stopped to look over a bridge at the water. When my brother saw the water he opened his mouthto say water and out fell the binky in to the rushing creek down below. We all looked in awe and started to yell at the binky "Bye binky have a nice trip." "We will miss you binky." etc... It was as if he came to terms with giving up his pacifier that day. Afterwards he would sometimes ask about binky and I would remind him about the story about his binky going for a swim in the creek. The secret to this though is to make sure that all other binky's around the house are gone. Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Richland on

I really agree with the "weaning" method. When we started limiting our sons paci use, he started to get less interested. Over a period of several months he went from all day use, to car & sleep use only, to no use at all. Several of my friend have also "given" their paci's to new born babes and some have even given them to Santa in exchange for a special gift at Christmas. For us, the key was not taking it away too soon. He wouldn't have understood if we did it any earlier (we started about 22 months). You also want to time it right so that you are not trying to move him out of his crib or potty train at the same time as ditching the pacifier. Good Luck!

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T.V.

answers from Seattle on

Your description of him having one in his mouth and one in each hand is cute -- he knows what he likes!!! :) To start the weaning process, you might have the pacifier only available at certain times or in certain places. For my daughter, we had the pacifier only 'live' in her crib. Yes, there were times when she wanted to go in the crib just to visit it, but she knew the boundaries pretty well. When she turned three and showed no signs of giving it up, the pacifier fairy came and left a cool CD of music under her pillow and the pacifiers went with the fairy.
Cheers!

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B.G.

answers from Seattle on

Hi There!
My daughter weaned herself off pacifiers at the age of 2 months, but decided that she likes her two fingers instead! Now, she is 7 YEARS OLD and STILL sucks her two fingers!!! I guess both of our kids will give up their "binkys" and fingers when they are ready. At least you have the option of taking the pacifier away! LOL!

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H.A.

answers from Anchorage on

I am a mother of 4, three boys 17, 15, 13 and a girl 10. The best way I was able to get my boys to give up their "passys" was I had friends who where pregnant about the time I wanted the passy...passed on. I would start talking about how "Sarah" was having a baby and I wondered out loud often where the new baby was going to get passys from. It took me 3-4 months to convence them that the new baby needed them more then they did each time. then when they acted like they were ready we went to the store and bought a cute little baby present bag that they picked out, put all the passys we had in it and took a trip to Sarah's and then the boy who was giving it up gave it to Sarah as a present for the baby. My friends always made a big deal about the present saying things like "Oh my goodness this is the best present I have ever got, the baby will be so happy, thank you so much" Then when we left my friend would put them in the trash and the passy's were gone : ) I won't tell you that they didn't cry for them once in awhile but, I would just hug them close, remind them that we gave them to the baby, I would also again tell them how proud I was of them for being such a big boy.

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K.I.

answers from Spokane on

My nephew was the same way. He loved the binky! He always had one and was often seen with one in his mouth and one in each hand! When my sis thought it was time for him to be done, we all just made a conscience effort to pitch in and help. First rule was no more talking with the binky in, we would ask to have it when he was talking to us and slowly he wasnt as quick to ask for it back. Second we took them away when he was deep in play so he wasnt having it in when it wasnt neccesary. It wasnt as hard as we thought it was gonna be. Sleeping was the hard part but lucky for my sister they went camping and only brought one binky with and on the way there Gage thru it out the window and his dad refused to go back for it! That was the end of the binky! Good luck and I think if you watch him and just start taking it away when you know he is distracted it will be o.k.

K.

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T.M.

answers from Seattle on

I wouldn't worry about it too much, my oldest was uber easy to break. About 18 months we started tell her that they were for bed time only, so we would have her put them in her bed. If she wanted one during the day, we would tell her that if she want a plug then she had to go take a nap.... usally she changed her mind and went to play, some times she would lay down for a while. After about two months we cut back to bed time only, and then when she turned two, we got her a big girl bed (she really wanted to be a big girl) if she wanted a plug, then she had to sleep in the crib, if she wanted to sleep in the big bed, then no plug. It took a month for her to completely give them up, but with hardly any crying.

about 6 months after she was weaned, she found a old plug in her jacket pocket and didn't know what it was. When I told her that she used to suck on it she was completely grossed out!

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D.M.

answers from Portland on

I would start with letting him help wash them. They get dirty fast so getting a tub of water and splashing them around rather than having them in his mouth is positive. I gave my daughter shugar free, all natural lolly's. she loved them and I didn't feel bad about giving her sugar. No one wants to see a 1 year old all hopped up on sugar! Then slowly start removing them. One at a time. Soon he'll be down to one. Then one day he'll loose it and forget all about it. Good luck!

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B.D.

answers from Seattle on

I tried for the longest time to get my son off of the binkie. I tried almost anything I could think of so that there wasn't any "crying games" to follow. Unfortunately, it was something that was going to happen anyway. My son wouldn't let go of his binkie until he was almost 2. He was 20 mo by the time I finally got him to let go. Only thing that worked? His binkies just suddenly "disappeared". :O I waited until we got down to one and once that last one was gone...I tried to get him to take something else for comfort. Now he hangs on to his stuffed cat named Nermal. He's doing fine. It was a struggle for only a week or two. Not sure if this helps, but I hope it might. :D Good luck! ~B.

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D.B.

answers from Richland on

cut the ends off the pacifiers. It doesn't feel the same so they gave it up themselves

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E.H.

answers from Anchorage on

I can only offer what I did with my son. I started only letting him have it in the crib...he'd have to give it to me before I would pick him up. then after he got really use to that, I only let him have it at night, not naps...a few months later I cold turkey'd him. he cried for half hour the first night, then fell asleep, woke up in the middle of the night crying...I told him it was bed time, kissed him and went back to bed. he only cried for about 7 minutes. the 2nd night, he only cried for 10 minutes, woke up once crying, but I stayed in bed and he stopped within 5 minutes. no problems after that. I just had to get rid of them...when he found one we'd lost,he'd stick it in...so keep your eyes open! Good luck! E.

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T.S.

answers from Portland on

Hello, I can understand your concern, having 3 myself,no mother wants to see their child unreasonable attached to the binkie. We are torn between taking what comforts them and what we are told is "good" for them. All children are different. One of mine never had a binkie or the thumb. the next had a binkie from 3 months or so till about 2. the last one...when I tried to take the binkie away early went to the thumb. I gave the binkie back. It is much easier to wean from the binkie than the thumb. At about 20 months we told her it was only for na night. then as she would grind her teeth it wore a hole in it and I told her it was broken. We had about 4 binkies and when the last one had a hole in it...all gone. She was about 26 months...and it was not h*** o* her.

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U.D.

answers from Seattle on

HI, my son loved his paci..we didnt take it away until he was at least 2. I snipped off the end of it..just the very end of the bulb. When my hubby came home he told him "papa fix it" and of course there was nothing he could do..so lil man did fuss a lil hte first nite..then a lil hte second nite..then DONE!!! Really not that bad...believe me my son "couldnt live" without it!!! Give it a try..and no matter what..you arent going to get a warm welcome into him not having it!..So just suck it up(so to speak) it isnt as bad as you might first think...Good Luck!

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R.S.

answers from Seattle on

I am not sure if I will be of any help, because I am in the same boat. My son is almost 17 months and he loves his Mr. Bink (thats what we call it) just like your son. He too will have one in his mouth and in his hand. For the most part he doesn't need them exept when he goes to sleep. He will cry and cry until I give in. But when he is playing I have found that if they our put away he won't want it. But if he finds one while awake, then he will want it. I also found a book that is titled "Buy Buy Pacifier". I read it to him. I have heard that they will let go when they are ready. I would rather him do that than suck his thumb. If you get any good ideas please let me know. Good luck!

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K.G.

answers from Seattle on

My just 2 yr old is my second binki baby. AS with my older son, we have started taking the binki away at breakfast, giving it back to him when he is ready for his nap, then away until bedtime. Initially distraction of breakfast really helped; now he dosen't mind me just taking it. Step two will cold turkey at sleep/bed time. My older son was 2.5, lost his last binki (I refused to buy any more) and had 2 rough days/nights but that was it. I am hoping it will be as easy with my youngest. He has a blanket too that may make it a little easier I hope.

As a side note, our pediatrician said that it was "okay" to let them steer it a little. Some will be more ready to give it up a little later. Teeth-wise, I heard it was 3-3.5 before their teeth are affected permenently. I would check on these bits of info though since it was about 5 years ago....

Good luck!

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T.G.

answers from Seattle on

Dip the suckers in something awful tasting....like garlic oil or something

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L.B.

answers from Portland on

Hi,
Boy this takes me back! When my eldest son was 2 1/2 I was pregnant with my second child. My husband I wanted to get our son off of the pacifier before his little brother arrived. It wasn't an easy task, and in retrospect, it was US who had the problem with the pacifier! But anyway...here's what worked for us...we told him that sometime before his brother was born the "plug fairy" would be coming and taking his "plug" away. We explained that the plug fairy would know when the right time was. We gently introduced this idea over several weeks and as my due date neared we felt he was ready to relinquish his pacifier. On the night that the plug fairy arrived she left a special big boy toy that helped make the transition a lot easier.

Good luck!

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B.V.

answers from Anchorage on

i heard that cutting the ends off of the passies and making them shorter and shorter over time, until he just gets over it. i'll be trying it out myself in a couple of years when my baby will need to be weaned and my two yr old as well if he hasn't given it up by four...i assume he would just keep stealing the passie from his sister so there won't be any point in trying now. good luck, let me know if it works. oh and my son likes to have as many as he can carry at once, a definite binky lover. ;)

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N.B.

answers from Seattle on

Take your time, they are only little for a short time. Both my boys had pacifiers and I think they were almost 3 before they gave them up. As they started to understand "rules" we would only let them have their pacifiers in the car and sleep time, never in public. As they got a little older we dropped the car time. Eventually we got them a gift, wrapped it up and told them when they were ready for the "binkie" fairy to come and take their binkie then they could have the gift. It took awhile, but they eventually gave it up. I have also heard of parents making a ceremony where they sent the pacifiers on a boat down a stream a sort of passage to the next level of growing up. What worked for us was to let them make small choices and eventually they gave them up. Yes, the teeth do stick out some, but as soon as the pacifier is stopped, the teeth retreat. If you feel like one in the mouth and 2 in the hand is just too much, perhaps saying only one in the hand. Go slow as change is so big for those little bodies. Good luck and really enjoy this time because it goes way to fast.

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J.B.

answers from Richland on

I learned this method from Marie Osmonde. If you snip just a little off the end of the pacifier each day, the sucking doesn't work as well and they don't like it anymore, and they'll want to throw it away. Good Luck!!

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H.W.

answers from Seattle on

My friend, a mom of three, had this problem withh two of her kiddos. She didn't take the pacifier away, instead she cut the end off so that it became much less attractive to suck on. She said her kids just gave up on sucking on it on their own after finding it less appealing. Good luck.

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C.B.

answers from Portland on

My daughter now 8 was also dependent on pacifiers. When we wanted to get her off them we took her to Toys R Us and let her pick out 3 stuffed friends. Then explained to her that she got the first one when she gives me her pacifiers. She would get then next one when she went 2 days and nights with out pacifiers. The last one she would get when she went a week without a pacifier. If she relapse to a pacifier, we took them back and she would start over. The stuffed friends were used to help her feel comfort. She relapsed only once but very quickly got them back and she never used one again. She still has her stuffed friends and they still have a special place in her heart.

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