Very Touchy Question.

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I would be seriously considering the full hysterectomy. I can't say what I would do, since I'm not in that situation, but it would seriously be on the table.

Daily hormone pills vs all the negatives you've brought up?

It's not a no-brainer, but it seems like both the smart AND kind thing to do.

I read a story about 6 years ago of a family who decided to give their child a hysterectomy and removed her breast buds because they knew this situation was coming. This is a perpetual child who should not ever have a child herself. I 100% agreed with their choice and would choose the same for my child if she too were born with permanent mental disabilities (I'd have my some given a vasectomy if it were a boy) that made her a child forever.

Nobody has a right to judge how YOU choose to raise YOUR child. Anyone who would dare criticize you is ignorant.

I'm a mom of a special needs child and it makes me insane when parents of quote-unquote typical children try and give me unsolicited advice on how to raise my child. Unless you've been there, walked in my shoes, dealt with my situation, lived my life, you can't understand it.

Your family -- your decision. Period.

I don't know what I would do, honestly. BUT, I would not judge someone for doing any of the things you mentioned, in your post. What a hard decision to make.

my heart goes out to you....thinking in terms of what is best for your child, I would make the tough call to proceed with whatever brings her comfort & ease. There is no shame in being advocate for what is beyond the scope of the child in your care. It's a part of parenting that very few parents have to experience.....& the process can be soul-wrenching.

Peace.

Flower for you question. I am not sure what I would do & I would not judge anyone for doing what they think is best.

Hi busy mom-

One of my daughters has developmental challenges. She will be 15 in October. Her 'typical' twin sister has been menstruating for several years now...and I looked over the options for Shannon then...and opted not to do anything due to shannon's other medical issues. She has not begun to menstruate yet...but we are prepared with 'pull ups' and pads. We have discussed this...does she 'get it'? I cannot say. I was also convinced (as were her docs and therapists) she would never use the potty...or eat by mouth...or LIVE for that matter...yet she does!

I would certainly NEVER judge a parent for ANY decision they might make in this situation. In my case, when and if she menstruates (we have some breast development...and a stray hair or two...lol)...I will play it by ear...and go from there.

My best to you and your daughter...feel free to PM me!

Best Luck!
michele/cat

Do what you believe is best for your daughter and your family. If it were my daughter, I'd probably opt for the hysterectomy.
LBC

Wow. Tough question and one with no easy answer.

Personally... if it was me... I would pray that I would have the strength to have my daughter undergo the surgery. I work with adolescents with cognitive delays and it is so scary. Physically they are mature and can bear children, but developmentally that would be devastating and (again, just me), I would rather deal with my emotions surrounding a hysterectomy than the emotions surrounding an abortion or adoption.

This is an incredibly challenging syndrome you are referring to and while many people may tell you that it's her body and you don't have a right to make such decisions for her- remember that you are her parent and it is your responsibility to keep her safe and healthy.

If the decision you make ensures her long-term safety and health then it is the right one for her. I'm sure you've already done so, but make sure that her guardianship papers are filed well before she turns 18. It's a longer process than most parents expect!

I applaud you for having the courage to ask this, because you're right, I think some people will pass serious judgement here.

What does her doctor recommend? I would speak with someone who specializes in this and hear what they have to say on it... they would be able to give you a little direction towards an educated decision.

I can't imagine having to make this decision, so best wishes to you my dear!

Brigette said it perfectly! Your kid, your family, your choice! Hooray to you and the other moms on here who are handling the struggles that come along with parenting a special needs child! My sister is a quad and is spastic low functioning with cerebral palsy. She just turned 30 (hooray!) and lives at home with my mom who takes care of her every day. I see the difficulties and stress and everything that goes along with that. You ladies that do that are my heroes.
As far as the procedure- talk it over with the doctors and your significant other (if you have one) and do whatever is right for your family. I totally understand the hysterectomy decision- why put her through that every month if she doesn't understand- it's painful and I imagine pretty scary to go through that every month and not understand why.
Again,hooray for you for being an awesome parent! Good luck!

Well first of all I wouldn't care what other people think about my choices. Until someone walks a mile they shouldn't judge.

Lord this is tricky enough to be an entrance exam question for a philosophy course. :(

Logically speaking you should do what is going to be best for her. Just because what is best for her makes it easier on you shouldn't negate the value of the decision.

Personally I would go with the hysterectomy since that is the only way she wouldn't have periods. Why wouldn't a parent want to prevent their child from the trauma of a period every month. I say trauma because that level of bleeding with no understanding of why it is happening has to be some scary stuff.

I cannot give you an answer, it will be your decision based on what you know is better for your daughter... really a difficult decision to make and nobody should judged since they are not living your day to day life. May God be with you!!

My heart goes out to you honey! I will NEVER understand the struggles you will face every day, and the same for your daughter. Having a special needs child is probably one of the hardest things anyone could ever have to face. And as you said, you will be caring for your daughter for the rest of your life. That in itself is daunting.
Personally, I think you need to do whatever it is that will make life for you AND your daughter easier. What a nightmare to think about going through this every month!! Maybe try the BC first, see if that makes the situation tolerable. And go from there. I'm sure you are struggling internally about this, as you mentioned it "going against human rights" But the fact is that a menstrual cycle is in place for a woman to be able to reproduce. And obviously that will never become an issue for your daughter. Human rights are not black and white in these cases.
As an example, I worked in nursing homes for a long time. And a very hot button issue became restraints. Now I'm not talking about tying someone to their bed. I mean lap belts, or cushions that kept residents suffering from demtentia, who were EXTREMELY unsteady on their feet from getting out of their chairs because the likelyhood was great that they would fall. In came the B.S. line of "It's their right to fall" ?????? WHAT??
Fall and break a frail arm, leg or worse, hip. Which most elderly never recover from. It was ridiculous! Granted this is a more sensitive topic, but falls in the same grey area.
Again, you do what you need to do to make life a little easier for yourself and your child!!! I give you so much credit and respect. Raising a "typical" child is so hard, I can't imagine how much more hard work and soul you must put into raising your girl. Good luck, and realize that you have a supportive ear in me, even if we don't know each other! :)

I admire you. I think probably raising a daughter such as yours, that it is very difficult, and a totally selfless job. I'm not sure that I could do it. I think that you, as the parents, have to do what is best for your families. I also cannot imagine having to deal with something like this, every month. I would very much understand the need to have them go on BC or the full hysterectomy, but I would think the latter would be a last resort. Is there any medication that would stop her period, all the time? My sister had horrible periods, where she would go to work, sit down, and then have to get up and go home and change, because her pants were soaked in blood. She had a prodedure done, called an ablation. Not sure if I spelled that right. Her doctor scraped her uterus lining out, which makes her have no more periods. She has no side effects. Just thought I'd throw that in. And one more thing, I don't think it is going against her human rights. I think people blab that phrase way too much. You are her mother, you have to do what is best for your daughter, because she doesn't know herself. Good luck to you.

You obviously have your daughter's best interests at heart. You know what the right course of action is. Do what you believe is best, and if that's pills or a hysterectomy, then I know you will make the correct decision.

Reading this I feel the love you have for your daughter pouring out over the screen at me. I am in tears because I don't know what I would do. I would most likely do what is best for her and our family.

I agree with the others...the best thing to do is what is best for her, and really no one has any right to tell you which decision is best for her. YOU are her mother.

Oh honey. I am sooo sorry. I have not walked in your shoes so I don't even know what I would do...

I would do what is right for my daughter. I don't know if I would go with something as radical as a hysterectomy - but then again - I'm not in your shoes. Can you talk to an OB - maybe they will suggest that she has a uterine ablation instead of a hysterectomy?

I totally understand and respect not putting your child in a group home while you can care for her. I don't think I could do that either.

I am sending prayers your way and hope that God gives you the answer that will work for you and your daughter...

I am sending you a huge hug!! Because I have no advice on what you should do...other than whatever you feel would be best for your child.

Well I do have advice...if she is never going to be able to use her reproductive system and it will cause her nothing but extra pain, suffering, and mental anguish...then wouldn't it be better to make her life easier.

I read below and if ablation would help...wow that would be great because it would keep the other hormones in check.

Sending you another huge HUG!!!

My son is a Starlight child. But you would never know he has some condition that threatens his life. When we go to events, we see the kids that do have something. They are in wheel chairs and just to see a smile is the most awesome thing in the world. Some will always live at home and I wonder how they do it. But one parent once told me that you do what you have to and you know nothing else. It is the same thing I told people when I had my triplets. But their challenge--like yours--is so much more so. The one thing that counts above all else is WHY do you do something. Would you do any of these things to make your life easier or because you just don't want to deal with something or would you do it to help her in her own life making things easier to cope and live the best possible life? As parents, we sometimes have very difficult decisions to make for our families and our children. But we do have to make them. And NO ONE has the right to decide if the decision we make that makes the best situation for our family is the right one. Of course, they can have an opinion but, in the long run they do not live our lives.

I once had someone tell me that she was so glad her child was "not weird or handicapped" . We were outside waiting to get into an event and she was passing by and the kids in chairs or braces or what have you were just starting to enter. I wanted to knock her block off if you would. I said I was glad too because she probably could not handle it. She walked away very quickly.

reading you question and the answers, I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. I just want to say THANK YOU SO VERY VERY MUCH FOR LOVING YOUR DAUGHTER SO MUCH!!!! I cannot begin to imagine the heartache and struggles you have gone through and will have to go through in the future. I'm not exactly sure what an ablation is but from what the ladies are describing it seems like the way to go. but only you know your precious daughter and only you know what is best for her. If anyone, ANYONE, dare to judge or critize you please please please do not listen to them!!!! you are an amazing woman, an angel on earth!!!!!!
my boys were all born with bilateral cleft lip and palate and while what the have to go through is nothing compared to your daughter, I do know the struggles of dealing with health issues and problems, the stares they get from people to ignorant to just ask a question etc....I will be praying for you and please know that you are such a wonderful mom and i look up to you!!!! MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!!!!

I'd support you in whatever you decided because it's your life. I would probably not tell people what you did since they might judge you and who needs that? She is a child, will forever be a child, and frankly, if a hysterectomy helps maintain that, and prevents pregnancy as well, go for it. Who are we to judge? I feel NONE of us know what we would do until we are actually there. We can guess, we can think, but we'll never, truly know. I pray for your strength.

I can't even imagine what I would do...What a difficult decision. I think my decisions would depend on whether my daughter had already started her period. I might opt for a partial hysterectomy, where the uterus and fallopian tubes are removed. The only reason I would go this route is the secondary effects of removing the ovaries and throwing her into a sort of premature menopause. This can cause things such as brittle bones, osteoarthritis, etc. Things that happen to post menopausal women. I would just ask the doctor about this. My heart goes out to you and there is no doubt that you are a loving caring mother. *hugs*

First and foremost, I really don't know what I'd do, because I haven't been in the position where I'd need to decide (I find what I *think* I'd do is often different than what I end up doing). I certainly have empathy for the tough decisions parents must make, and it is neither my place, nor my desire to criticize the process that a parent goes through when discerning THEIR child's best interest.

One *piece* of this complex puzzle is that hysterectomies come with their own very tough set of physical challenges. First, the procedure is very invasive. My mother had one some years back. She had support, and the ability to understand what had happened. Nonetheless, it was tough for her to have an integral organ removed from her body; both physically and emotionally. I imagine that the surgery itself would be tough to go through as a family.

Additionally, the hormone changes that come after a hysterectomy are very intense. In my (limited) experience, it seems one is thrown into rapid menopause after receiving the hysterectomy and the change may last much longer than regular menopause would.

No matter your choice, I celebrate your dedication and care and I hope that you receive the support necessary to make a tough decision easier. May you have strength, clarity, and support. Big hugs.

Wow, that would be a difficult decision to make. I wouldn't even know how to go about even trying to put myself in your shoes with this situation. One thing I would take into consideration when making a decision like this is the pros and cons of surgery and BC pills. There are several risks and side effects of each. I'd see if the benefits outweighed the risks. I can see it both ways and I wish you the best. Good luck to you!

My heart goes out to you and your daughter. I can't think why someone who hasn't and won't ever walk in your shoes would judge you. I dont' really know what I would do. I guess I would look at what the side affects of a full hytorectomy are. Hormones forever? I don't know. Will it send her into menopause? How does that affect her mentally and physically?
As I am writing this I am thinking about a night when I worked in the church nursery and a grandmother came in with her grandson he was almost a year old. The mother of the child was with her although I didn't realize at the time she was the mother because she was soo handicap. She didn't speak,he hair looked like she pulled it out in chunks,and didn't like to be touched in any way(the lady I was working with also works with special needs and knew this family from a long time ago so this is how I know about the touching and speaking I am not in the habit of forcing hugs on people) I keep thinking about how this poor girl got pregnant. I get the chills everytime I think of her. I dont' know the specifics but I can only imagine. I am writing this and thinking maybe I would do a hystorectomy. If I had a special needs daughter(or non special needs daughter for that matter) to go through what this girl clearly went through. I know the hys. won't prevent a sick pervert from doing evil but it would help with the physical aftermath of a pregnancy. I am not trying to freak you out but you wanted an answer to a sensitive and heavy subject and I gave you an honest answer. May God give you the wisdom tomake the right decision for your daughter and the knowledge to know you made the right choice and may He give you peace to live with the choice you made! Many blessing for you and your family in the years to come.

I don't think I would schedule a hysterecomy for a child that young-based on the recovery time, etc.
I think I would try the BC route first or anyother possible options. There are a few procedures that are done in the dr office now that help alleviate heavy periods, etc...not sure if that is something worth looking into? One is used in conjunction with Mirena-and another is hydro ablation.

I think you do what feels right for you and your family and most especially your daughter and go from there.

As a few people have mentioned, I wonder if ablation would be a good choice? I suggest this because a few girlfriends of mine have had this procedure done with good results. One friend had an extremely heavy period, and after the ablation procedure, she has never had her period since. She still does have the same hormones that would cause her to have a period (so therefore she is not susceptible to osteoperosis, or early menopause, like if she had a hysterectomy), but she just doesn't actually have her period. To me that seems a little easier than taking the pill every day (and not everyone reacts well to the pill, I know I turn into a raving lunatic on it!), and a hysterectomy is such major surgery, and of course comes with early menopause. Anyway, I just thought I would throw that out there in case that's a procedure you'd like to ask her doctor about.

I admire your strength and dedication. You were thrown a curveball, and it seems to me like you are handling everything so well. I wish you the best!

Ok so honestly the 1st thought i had was, wow a hysterectomy for such a young child, that seems pretty exterme! What about her right to choose! Then I continued to read your post and gave it much thought! I personally do not know what you are going thru, but i have a frined who has an adult son who is special needs, not nearly as severe as your daughter, however he has to have help with all aspects of life, he works part time, but someone has to take him to and from and he has his mom, sister and the aide of a social worker who ensures his well being, he lives in an apartment. More to the point a few years back he got involved with a girl who ended up pregnant, this girl not being special needs and knew exactly what she was doing, made him believe the baby was his, even gave it his name and let him help raise it for a year and then snatched that baby away! Poor guy has not yet recovered! Because he cannot process exactly what happened! I have watched my dear friend struggle to give him what he needs and pray that the decidion is right for him!
So I say you make the decision that best fits you and your family!! If she was to ever get pregnant, you would be raising that baby to! Bless her heart and yours to! And please do not take my initial reaction to this as passing judgement! I am not like that! It is just a hard thing to process! You are a good person! I wish the best for you guys! You are in my prayers!

I can't answer you but god bless you and your family.

My heart goes out to you . . . here is a virtual <<hug>>.

I'm not sure what I would do. I might seek an opinion from an integrative physician to make sure that I wasn't missing a possible complication of having some of those endocrine hormones diminished or altered in some way (i.e., if you went the hysterectomy route). What will the long-term risks of that be?

Praying that you can find some clarity on what to do. God bless you and your family.

Well I have daughters but they are not special needs so I cannot offer any personal experiences or advice but I can tell you my sister has a girlfriend that has 5 kids and 2 of the 5 are special needs and 1 of the special needs is a girl. When she began puberty the mother decided to put her on the depo shot because of the reasons you stated above combined with the fact that the depo shot usually makes the period disappear all together so she wouldn't have to deal with it.....and to some this may seem lazy but I can understand her point....she has 5 kids to raise -yes HER choice and yes she decided to get pregnant again and again only to have another one born as a special needs as well and having to take care of him as well so when she doesn't want to deal with a monthly cycle I can see her point. However the other side to that what about all the fluctuation in hormones....I myself was on the depo shot for some time and I think I could have classified myself as a mentally unstable person on that stuff once I got off I was back to normal so I see both sides of the spectrum. I think that for each family it is different-what works for one family may not necessarily work for another family.

I think if it were me, I would go with birth control until she's older and then do the hysterectomy in early adulthood. I think you're doing the right thing here. I cannot imagine how horrifying a period would be for a girl who can't understand it and only sees blood, which means hurt. I don't know you or your daughter, but I do know of cases where mentally challenged girls wind up pregnant because they have the physical feelings that come with puberty, but lack the understanding or control to stop themselves and often the boy is in a similar situation or it's someone bad enough to take
advantage. You're protecting your daughter!

Hey! Sorry to come in on this so late. I work in a clinic that see's young children with precocious puberty all the time. Some of it is CPP (Central Precocious Puberty) that comes on from hormonal changes and some of it is brought on from severe brain injury. We treat them with either Lupron Depot or Supprellin LA. Lupron is an intramuscular injection that now can be given every 3 months instead of every 28 days. Supprellin LA is an intradernal implant that gives of a continuous dose of medication that is replaced every year. These medications stop the pubertal process. I would like to *think* that I would treat my daughter with one of these medications until she grew to an appropriate height and then I would treat her with a birth control like Seasonique or Depo Provera. That way the periods would be spaced out. I think that a mentally disabled child having a hysterectomy in their late teens or early 20's is not at all unreasonable. I guess it would all depend on how she handled her cycle. I agree that it would be in their best interest.
Thank you for posting such a thought provoking question. Many blessings to you and your family!!!

I guess what I really have to ask is if there is any chance at all that she might be able to progress further than you think and live a near normal life or be on her own? I know that miracles happen and people surprise doctors all the time. But I haven't lived with any of the things you speak about. All I've done is watch some rather sweet movies about people with down syndrome having a baby against their parents wishes and making things work with the help of social workers.

If there truly is no hope at all of that part of her life being shared with a man and having a family, then I don't think it's cruel at all to just deal with it once and for all so that it's not a part of the equation. But there's that part of me that thinks...what if...what if they come up with better schools or medicines or therapies of some sort that would completely change things for her?

I am not a mom with a child who has special needs, but I did work with children and adults with developemental disabilities so I will tell you what some of the parents I had the honor of working with did.
Many chose the Depo shot for their girls. You are absolutely RIGHT. Someone with severe mental delays doesn't always understand what is happening to them and it can be very distressing. Many of the ladies that I worked with no longer had periods due to the shot and it was a BLESSING. The stress they went through each month when they bled and bled.......it was hard so h*** o* them!

You are a fantastic mom. Your heart is for your daughter, not for your own convenience. You do what you feel is best and know that there are other parents out there who are making the SAME decisions. I have no idea what I would do because I never have been in that position but parents such as yourself have my complete admiration.

I'm sorry, I didn't read all the responses, just scanned them... I hope this isn't a repeat. To make a long story short, I was prescribed BC to wu Tess my period altogether. It didn't work and I ultimately had a hysterectomy. But my doctor believed that it was not only not harmful, it was actually beneficial for women to not have a period every month. (women's bodies were designed to be pregnant and or nursing for most of their child bearing years, therefore, not menstruating.) Anyway, my 23 yr old daughter has been suppressing her period for years. The first couple years, she "scheduled" a period four times per year. Now she only has one per year...WAne chooses when. I would look into this option, if you're unsure of the surgical route. Although, I can certainly understand why you would consider that option. Hugs to you and your daughter!

Birth control pills--any kind that are pharma drugs--are h*** o* the body and have (severe) side effects that sometimes aren't seen for years down the road. Plus, with your daughter's sensory issues, getting her to take a pill every day (or a shot or having something put under her skin) might not be the way to go.

A hysterectomy is a bit severe, plus her body needs the hormones to properly regulate itself, so I wouldn't go that route, either, unless absolutely necessary. Tubal ligation/tubes tied will only help prevent pregnacy (and sometimes, you can still get pg even when the tubes are tied, if they aren't tied right, or if the surgery is done very early)--but a tubal won't stop a period.

Another idea would be to have a NovaSure Ablation done. I've had one (for heavy bleeding). I'm done having children. Once you have an ablation, you can't get pregnant because there's nothing/no lining for the egg to implant on. Some women end up with no period (I get a little bleeding once every three to four months, maybe two or three days, and only enough to wipe off when I use the bathroom. That is, I don't need to use any tampons or napkins).

Bless you for thinking of your daughter's well-being, comfort, and safety.

Looking at your issue, do some research on the NovaSure Ablation and see if that's something that could be done. It's a relatively easy surgery. I just don't know how young they will do it, or how well the surgery lasts if it's done on someone who's young.

First let me say my heart goes out to you. It is not easy having a child with
special needs. First, let me address the precocious puberty. There are
medications that can be given to hold off puberty. That is temporary because you will have to deal with it eventually. You do what works best
for you and your family and what you think is best for your daughter. As
far as not being able to go out, loud noises, crowds, as she gets older
that should get better. Every time I did go out with my daughter, it was
crazy. Noises, lights, going a different way would set her off. Even siblings
would say "there she goes again." I will keep you in my prayers. Just do
what you think is right.

I think this is a personal decision and agree with those who say you don't have to explain or tell your reasons behind what you choose. I think personal rights are wonderful but as with young children, we, as parents, decide what is best for our children as our rights as parents dictate. Your daughter isn't able to make the decision so you as her mother makes it for her. Personally I don't trust b/c because the way it worked on me, shutting down overies and causing mood swings. I partical hysterectomy doesn't remove the overies, just the uterus and so you still go through ovaliting each month and don't need hormone replacements. Bless your little angel and you for you both are very special. God doesn't trust just anyone with these special children, only mothers with a very loving heart.

There is a procedure you can have done where they decrease the lining of the uterus so they do not have periods. some of my friends that are done having kids and have heavy peroids have had it done. I can't remember the name of it. Then she will not bleed at all and she will not loose the benefits of the hormones from the ovaries??? Just an idea

I would try depo shots first honestly if it was my kid. I would do the hysterectomy second. I say this but if actually put in the decision and situation your in I can't say I would or wouldn't. WHat I say and what I could actually do is a different story. I have a special needs child and Thank god I never have to decide this for him. I say your child follow your heart. do what your heart is telling you and poo on anyone that doesn't like your decision. No two kids can be raised the same cause of varying circumstances. You and her dad are the only ones that can decide what is right for her. I think you already know the answer your just doubting yourself. follow your heart and do what is right.

Clearly this is a medical issue, and your daughter's well-being takes priority over any ethical objections people outside of your family might have. I would strongly recommend you speak with her medical team/pediatrician, as well as parents of other children with this condition, for some direction about what choice to make.

As the mother of a special needs girl (6 yo, autistic spectrum disorder), I have to make all kinds of parenting decisions based on what is best for her and not a typically-developing child. My heart goes out to you.

Updated

Clearly this is a medical issue, and your daughter's well-being takes priority over any ethical objections people outside of your family might have. I would strongly recommend you speak with her medical team/pediatrician, as well as parents of other children with this condition, for some direction about what choice to make.

As the mother of a special needs girl (6 yo, autistic spectrum disorder), I have to make all kinds of parenting decisions based on what is best for her and not a typically-developing child. My heart goes out to you.

I have worked with individuals with disabilities (ranging from severe to very high functioning) for the past 8 years. I work in a group home and with in home clients. That being said, I want to assure you that if you come to a point in your life where you cannot care for her anymore, please don't feel guilty putting your daughter in a group home. You would, obviously, do tons of research and find the best one for her. The individuals in the homes that I have worked at are all happy, healthy, and well cared for. All staff have criminal background checks done and truly care for the individuals that live there.
A worry that I have always had for some of the disabled ladies is them being taken advantage of by their peers (other individuals with disabilities). Last year I saw a disabled woman that was pregnant and it was very troubling to me. She also had a disabled boyfriend. I wondered what would become of the baby.
I think your choice to do something to stop her periods is very responsible and I give you a lot of credit for considering it.

You know that she will not be able to handle a child on a developemental aspect, but her body will be able to, and nature will take it's course via her periods. Would a uterine ablation be an option rather than a hysterectomy? I don't know if it would be applicable to a girl (at that point, woman) at that age. It might be less invasive.
Either way, the hormones will still be raging, as we all have experienced. BC (Seasonal I think is the BC that stops periods, but there is still the hormonal effects).may help. Do you have a pediatric endrocronologist to speak to?
As far as the body hair/hygiene, it would be hard to constantly 'groom' her as she gets older. Body hair is nothing to be embarassed about, but socially, most people can (and will) comment on it. I may be totally out of bounds here, would something like Veet or Nair help with that when the time comes? That way you won't have to deal with shaving at that can be irritating and maybe scary.

If this were my daughter, i would think about what kind of life I would like for my daughter. BC affect hormone levels in the system, as would a hysterectomy I suppose; but the bottom line is would I want an inplant, a shot, a pill to administer to my kid on a regular basis? or would I want to focus on all the ways I knew how to show my daughter she is loved? it is not really about "deal with period or not" issue when I read what you write but rather an issue of what your daughter can handle (it does not sound like a regulated schedule with BC really helps; I would not want my daughter to have to suffer PMS in this situation). It is a difficult decision as there could be risks (i dont know) to having a hysterectomy. But you are providing her with a well supported environment - that sounds like your main focus and I think if you start with that you will make the right choice for your daughter

Hysterectomy seems a bit drastic...especially when there are other things you can do. I was on Depo Provera shot that you need to get every 3 months and that stopped my period for 10+ years. I think now they have this type of birth control that you only have to get shots every 6 months or annually. I think I might try this route. Good luck!!!!

I think you should do what 'you' think is best. In doing what is best, in the long run, no one can judge you for that. You're thinking of her & you're the only one who can truly know what her needs are. Hope this helps! Best wishes!!

I haven't read the other responses so I may be repeating... I believe that there is a pill that allows for only one or two periods a year, that plus having your daughter's tubes tied may be a good solution for both of your concerns (pregnancy/ period mishaps). I'm not sure at what age a Dr. would be comfortable doing this for your family.

On another note - your daughter is very lucky to have you as her mom... but please don't knock/make another family potentially feel bad about their decision to put their child into a group home. I'm sure they feel the same about their child and that may be the best/only solution for them.