Vacation Trouble

I think that's crazy, too. Do you even know the other people who are going?

You don't have a lot of time to decide, but I think you need to make a choice.

One, confront and give an ultimatum, but it seems like your husband won't back you up. So that would require you to have a talk with him.

Two, send your husband and kids while you stay home.

Three, make the best of it and put it out of your mind. Be a "guest" and don't worry about meal planning - let the other people deal with that stuff (just make sure you bring some supplies for your own kids so no one goes hungry) Make them babysit your kids one night for free while you go out with your husband. Then have as much fun as you can and decide to pretend the bad stuff didn't happen - and never plan anything with these people again! Hopefully most of the people won't stay all week and won't come all at the same time - you may be surprised and it could be a great time for all the kids and for you too.

Good luck. It really sucks to be put in this position. Don't let it ruin your week off completely one way or another, though.

The other posters make a good point. I think everyone else is wrong at getting mad at you. Big difference between 9 and 21 people. With 3 people in your little family, you are paying 50% for a 14% vacation. One thing to consider: did you sign a contract for the home? If you said there would be 9 people staying, then you might not be able to have the 23.
A friend has a house in upper Wisconsin and rents it occasionally during the week. It sleeps 10 but when renters say they are having 4, then they cannot add to the full 10. This is stated when they reserve and they sign a contract for the period of time when they arrive. 1 or 2 above the reserved amount is considered ok. And you should not have to plan dinners for the whole group.

What a nightmare. I would back out and tell them to split it with the other families and go somewhere else. I would not want to share a house with that many people (and that many other people's kids). It will be complete chaos. If they were such good friends they should have taken your feelings into consideration by asking if it was OK with you. If you signed a contract and your name is on it then you are responsible if anything happens to the house. With that many people in the house (and that many kids), it is very likely that something is going to get broken, etc. and you will have to pay for it. You have every right to be upset. If you were set on going there, then find a hotel nearby and meet up with them one or two nights. If you do end up going, do not feel that you are responsible for meal planning. Everyone should plan for themselves. It's not a restaurant. Just make sure that your family is fed. Good luck.

We are still friends with the couple, however, we have not gone on another vacationw ith them. They asked us last year to go to California with them and we declined.

Are you all still friends?

I can't believe this happened without the other family asking your permission since YOU are paying half the rent!

Have you already paid????

If not, and if this were me (and I am not one for confrontation!), I would simply tell the other family that they can have the house to themselves and leave it at that. I would HATE to be in a home with 23 other people. That is not my idea of a vacation! That is like being back in college in a crazy dorm, but then having to arrange meals, too! Yikes. No thanks!

Tell the other family that it is not acceptable to you and explain that they will either have to un-invite the others, or take on the full cost themselves.

GOOD LUCK!

I like Jen's number 2. Send your hubby and kids and you find yourself a jacuzzi and spa and read a lot. Well, if not possible then I think you better see if you can get a lot of things to read and do so you are not distracted, ignore the group and go on a lot of hikes or back out with your whole family. Hubby sounds like mine. He never says no to anything. If I wanted a vacation in February I would have signed up for the peaceful quiet vacation that you wanted. So in light of how this worked out, you'll either have to bite the bullet and get it all clear next time or find a cabin down the street. By the way why are you doing spreadsheets on dinners? Since you paid let everyone else handle that end. It's supposed to be a vacation.