Unable to Nurse

My first baby was born with a broken collar bone and I couldn't nurse her for weeks! She couldn't stand the pressure of me holding her against me. I tried to pump for 6 weeks and got mastitis twice. It was a very emotional thing for me. My whole life I believed that Breastfeeding was the only way to go. I would cry and cry over this emotional dilemma. I finally realized (with the help of the Lord that my sanity and health was most important. I finally decided to stop pumping, and once I did that, I never felt so relieved in my life. Your child will not hate you for not breastfeeding!!! Would you be mad at your Mom if she bottle fed you?

These are just some thoughts I had as I was reading your post... Maybe try to pinch your nipples, then put them in her mouth and then release. I have very large nipples, and my babies all had trouble getting a good latch on, and that is what I did. I did have to use a nipple shield with my first son for a week or two because I was so engorged. But if you pinch your nipple a little to shape it more like a bottle nipple, she might get a better latch and be more encouraged to nurse. Hold it between your pointer and middle finger until she latches. Another thing I might try is to gently rub your nipple (while holding it) along her tongue/bottom gums, so she knows that it's there. Good luck to you!!!

Hi M.,
I'm sure with a lot of persistance you could get her to nurse but if she has been bottle fed for 3 months she probably won't. Bottles are much easier for babies to eat from. It takes work for them to nurse. I would try finding a lactation consultant in your area if you want to try. You could ask your ped. see what he/she says about it. My first son was in the picu for a few days and he never learned to latch on correctly. I pumped for a few months and then switched to formula.
Good luck.
Chris

Meridith Weir @ Columbia St. Mary's was a godsend for me with all my nursing problems. She runs a playgroup there. Please feel free to contact me with the times or her number. She helped another lady at group start nursing aftter 3 months of pumping and she sucessfully nursed till 13 months.

Hi, if you email me at ____@____.com I will email you my very long story about getting my son to nurse.

The MAGIC TRICK was physical therapy with an ANGEL trained in CranialSacral Therapy.

http://www.llli.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVAugSep01p82.html

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/cst.html

Enter your info and make sure you highlight CranioSacral Therapy
http://www.iahp.com/pages/search/index.php

Hi M.,

First, let me say that I'm sorry you're having such a hard time nursing with your daughter. I had a similar problem with my first son, and I remember how emotionally difficult it was when I so badly wanted nursing to go well.
Has anyone recommended trying a lactation aid? That finally was the thing that did the trick for my son and I. You put either pumped breastmilk or formula in a little bottle which has a very tiny tube coming from it. The tube is then either taped to your nipple or gently inserted into the corner of the baby's mouth once he/she latches on. The supplement is released easily and rewards the baby for sucking even a little bit, so it encourages a stronger latch. Eventually, you might even start to let down easier which will encourage her to suck even better which might allow you to wean her off the supplement. It's a bit of a pain to use but was well worth it for me. I think they're only available through lacation consultants, but I'd ask about one if you're interested.

Best of luck.
J.

My son (now 5 mo) also had trauma at birth and was unable to nurse. He had physical therapy for several weeks, which was amazingly helpful, and in the meantime I had to pump every time and feed him the milk with a syringe. I didn't want to go to formula, and I didn't want to feed him with a bottle too soon and cause nipple confusion. It was exhausting, emotionally and physically. I had tons of sessions with the lactation consultants at the hospital, which was a big help too. By about 2 months we started doing better. He is pretty interchangeable between nipple and bottle now.
I would talk to your pediatrician to see if phyiscal therapy would help. She can feel your nipple, she is probably just confused since it is so different from the bottle she is used to. She hasn't learned that milk comes from there too. I know how hard it is, you're doing a great job!

First I would find a different Lactation consultant one that suggests the bottle over trying to get your baby to nurse is crazy also a when you pump do your nipples stick out more if so pump for a little bit till your nipples come out and than try to nurse your baby, by than your let should be flowing the milk will be right there too. There is also the Lalache(sp?) league that you can call and ask tons of questions or find a group near you to help you with issues. good luck to you, it will all work out.

You have to keep at it. My 2 year old was 5 weeks early and I had some problems nursing him for a long time. I had to pump milk for the first couple of weeks and I keep trying him and trying eventually at about 2 months are so he finally latched on. Be patient with her and try to be as relaxed as possible. They sense stress and fustration and react to it also. Good luck

Hi, Don't give up she'll get it soon . Call La League League they will help you for sure. Your local hospital shough know how to get a hold of them. Nursing is so worth it. J.

I would highly suggest finding a support group in your area. I had a lot of difficulty because our son had a lot of problems latching on for quite awhile in the beginning. I too used the shields and although we had difficulty witht the leaking etc. once he turned about 3 mos. old he was a champ at nursing. I literally wanted to quit every other day with the nursing but ended up sticking it out for 10 months and I'm so glad that I did.
This may be against popular belief but I increased my supply by pumping very early on. For a while I seemed to not get anything out but eventually my supply increased, his latch on improved and I even began producing too much and was able to store quite a bit of extra milk.
I can understand that you may not be making enough milk but I'm very surprised to hear that a lactation consultant told you to switch to a bottle exclusively. Maybe you need to find a new one that will support you through this process. Meanwhile keep pumping (usu. first thing in morning is good) and do not feel bad about supplementing with formula b/c my understanding is that as long as they get 3 ounces of breastmilk a day, that gives them enough of the immune benefit that breastfeeding provides. Good luck, hang in there and if it just doesn't work out do not beat yourself up for it. YOu are trying and that is what is important.
D.

I can't give specific advice about the problem, but I would recommend your local La Leche League. http://www.llli.org/ Here's a link to their international website and you can find local chapters from there. My older daughter was in the NICU for 4 days, they gave her a bottle and a pacifier without asking, and she never got the hang of breast feeding when I was able to start trying on the second day. Her tongue was in the wrong position and her suck reflex wasn't strong enough. So I did just what you're doing and pumped while she ate and fed her that at the next feeding. It was exhausting and eventually I couldn't keep up with her appetite so we had to supplement and I gave up. After meeting some of the women in our local La Leche league with my second daughter, I really wish I had pursued that and been more proactive about the problem so we'd been able to nurse longer.

I completely understand where you are at. I had a C-Section with my daughter and wasn't able to see her for about 4 hours. During this time the nurse staff had given her a bottle, well when it came time for me to nurse my daughter wanted nothing to do with it. I too went to a nursing consultant for 2 weeks straight, used a shield and my daughter still would not suck, I was also pumping but my milk never fully came in, so I had to give it up. It was very hard to stop pumping and giving her that nutrition, but now I have realized that bottle feeding is a lot easier and more convenient and my husband can help feed her too. I dont want you to feel you have to stop trying, but if you do it is okay. Every baby is different and she might take too it soon. I wish you the best of luck!

both my children were born premature and wouldn't latch-on. i tried with both for weeks but didn't succeed. i pumped with both for as long as i could stand pumping...and then switched to organic formula. both are very healthy kids, no allergies, etc or anything that they link w/early use of formula. if that is a concern of yours then pump for at least the first 4-6 months. whatever you do, don't beat yourself up over it...just do the best you can...breastfeeding doesn't necessarily make you a better mother. and just think...your husband can do some of the middle of the night feedings :-) good luck!!

You have my total admiration to stick with giving your baby breastmilk under those circumstances. I think you need to find a lactation consultant who will help you use a supplemental feeder to start the baby sucking at breast. I bottle has an immediate flow whereas at breast the baby needs to suck a little to start the flow. You may have luck with pumping a little to start a "letdown" then offering the breast and see if she will latch on. Not all lactation consultants are wonderful - I believe offering a bottle at that point in time was bad advice.

N.

I know several people who have had wonderful results with cranio-sacral therapy. If I were you, I would look into a practitioner who works with babies on this. Also find your local LLL leaders, and see a lactation consultant.

Don't give up!! If you really want to do it, keep at it. I have had two premature babies and fought with the whole nipple shield/pumping thing. It does eventually work out. But, you can also try putting milk on your nipple, or expressing some by hand into her mouth while she's latched on to see if she'll realize what it's for. After you've expressed some, stroke down the side of her face by her mouth, or rub up under her chin, kind of gently pushing up that cavity under her tongue, these are called oral massages or something and they tend to stimulate the sucking reflex. Also, try and breastfeed her before she is starving, so that she doesn't become so frustrated and angry and unwilling to try a new thing. I was also given the advice to just hold my baby by my brst and just let him kind of get used to being there and comfortable there (ie even when he's not hungry so it feels like a safe place to be) But, a good lactation consultant is probably what you need, usually most hospitals have lines you can call and set up an apt. although it sounds like you Definately don't want the same one you had.
Anyway, hope it helps. Keep up your hardwork, I know it's tough!

Hi M.:

My situation was a little different. My son latched and nursed great on one side. I had a really hard time getting him to nurse on my left side.
First of all keep trying, your little one might just need time to adjust to the new sensation of nursing compared to the bottle.
It was suggested for me to start with the bottle, wait until the baby was sucking well and then switch to the breast.
Another suggestion was to start pumping so that your nipple is elongated have your spouse give the baby a bottle and do the switch bottle to breast / pump to nursing.
I also would rub milk on the nipple to encourage him to nurse. It took me 2 weeks of constant encouragement, but he finally nursed from both sides without any trouble. It has now been close to 18 months and we are doing great in the nursing department.
Even if she will not nurse, she is still receiving all the extra nutrients from your milk. I know pumping isn't enjoyable and lacks the intimate contact, but you are still providing her with the best sustenance possible.
I would also suggest checking with your local la leche league or visiting the national website http://www.lllusa.org/. They have a great help-line or they might have a group in your area.
Good luck

I had twins in 5/07 and they were not able to nurse. After trying and trying, I finally gave up and I pumped exclusively for 6 months. It was extremely hard and exhausting, but well worth it. So if you can't get your baby to nurse, try not to give up on pumping. You can do it!!!

Don't give up! I went through a similar thing with my daughter. I was so sore & had so many problems in the beginning with nursing that I introduced a bottle too early. Gradually my daughter began to prefer taking the bottle. At around 4 months she completely refused to nurse & I pumped for 2 months trying to find solutions to get her back to nursing. Finally I just got rid of the pacifier & bottles & only offered the breast. She was awfully stubborn & it took about 4 or 5 hours I think to get her to nurse, then I never went back & she nursed happily until she was 2 1/2 yrs. I would have regreted it forever if I would not have stuck it out!
Brekka
btw I was very bad at pumping too! I pumped constantly & only got about 16 oz a day, but once she started nursing again my supply built right up. Good luck! It's worth it!

My son wasn't able to nurse and I was very upset about it. We saw 4 lactation consultants and nothing really worked. I tried pumping, but I couldn't get enough milk to satisfy him and so we switched to formula. Basically, by pumping and then feeding that via bottle is practically doubling all of your time feeding your baby, although I do believe breastmilk is best and, obviously, cheaper. After a few days at home, I was finally able to get him to latch on, but he'd always fall asleep and so it was more "comfort" nursing than anything else. He did that for 4-months before he would just scream when I'd offer my breast. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you're not the only one with breastfeeding issues and that it doesn't matter how you feed your child - breastfeed, pump and feed, formula feed - it's just matters that you love her. My suggestion is to just keep trying - try when she's not starving or crying - like when she first wakes up when she's hungry but not upset and hungry. And if it doesn't work out, know that you gave it your all and don't be disappointed. Remember you have a healthy, beautiful baby.

On a side note, my second child was an excellent nurser who breastfeed for 13-months and we only supplemented with formula when she was being babysat. And during the first 3-months of nursing, I wanted to give up and go to a bottle since it was so much easier. But eventually the nursing got easy and I'm glad I stuck with it.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do! If nursing her is what you want, then just keep trying.

Are your ready for a novel? I had problems with nursing my son at first too... Here is what I did. I had to purchase a Hazle Baker feeder. It holds 2 oz. It is like a little bottle with a small tube that comes out the bottom. I would always wet down the shield before I used it because it would stick on and seal better. You might need help with this at first--place the small tube under the nipple shield, hold the bottle part up so gravity can work too. Latch the baby on and she will nurse from you and the feeder will supplement. Also pump for a minimum of 10 minutes after feeding because you will eventually beable to fill the feeder with breast milk. This is a lot of work but it is worth it. By the time my son was 3 months, I was nursing normally. Doing it this way helps build your milk supply, keeps you and the baby practicing. Real stimulation by your baby will produce more milk than just pumping alone. HANG IN THERE! You gals are a team! She is learning too. You are such a good Mom for trying as hard as you are. Even if you end up not nursing, you did try your BEST and in the end, it is the effort and love that helps your baby grow-not so much how she is fed!

M.--Don't give up! I had to keep at it for at least a week to get my babies to latch on. It was so frustrating but so worth it in the end. It is important for your baby to get enough nutrition to gain, and your are a hero-mom for pumping so that your baby gets breast milk. Find a supportive lactation consultant who can keep finding some ways for you. Mine suggested spending skin-to-skin time (breast to diapered baby) so the little one knows milk comes from you. She's probably really gotten use to the bottle and will need a little retraining (could be frustrating, but not impossible!!) Hang in there and good luck!

C. M

My daughter and I had the same problem. She just flat out would not nurse. I also met with a lactation consultant and tried using the shield and it never worked. I would pump and do the same thing as you, but with no results. It felt like i was feeding her 24 hours a day. Then I was producing too much milk and it was more than my daughter could eat. My breasts got so sore from pumping all the time that I had to realize that she just wasn't meant to be nursed. I was very dissapointed that I couldn't, but it was nice when she went on formula because then we were more "mobile" and I could spend a lot more time playing with her than pumping. Best of luck but remember that you have already given her a lot of good nutrients and some babies just aren't meant to be nursed! Think of it as the baby's own personality shining through!

M.,

If you found the lactation consultant at the hospital chances are she might not know as much as an LC in private practice. Your best bet might be to contact a local La Leche League Leader and find out if she knows of a good LC in your area. Often a LLL Leader may even know more herself than an LC based at a hospital. Most LC's at the hospital only have experience with newborn babies and newborn issues. I noticed you are in MN so I included a link to the MN LLL Groups:

http://www.lllusa.org/web/MNDak.html

Supplementing your baby with a supplemental nurser like the SNS System from Medela or a LactAid system would allow you to be sure your baby is getting the nourishement she needs while still stimulating your breast and avoiding nipple confusion. My experience has been that mothers find the Lactaid system easier to use than the SNS System but both are great products.

Your baby would likely benefit from some suck-training and this is were a good LC or experienced LLL Leader can come into play.

If breastfeeding is important to you then don't give up and dont let anyone tell you that you have to. You are the expert for your baby.

Good luck.. I wish you all the best. :-) And, congratulations on the miracle that your baby already represents.

L. C

Hi M.,

Good for you for trying so hard!

I had pumped for 5 weeks when my little guy couldn't nurse at first & had to be bottle-fed. I too had my heart set on breastfeeding and was pumping at every meal; I know how incredibly frustrating & tiring it is to have to do double-duty like that to feed your little one!

In the end, when I could take it no more, I spoke with several lactation consultants, and this is the advice that finally seemed to work for us: I would put my pointer finger in his mouth towards the back of his tongue (but not so far back that he'd gag) and then in the side of the mouth (towards one cheek) I'd slowly drizzle out the contents of a big plastic syringe filled with expressed breastmilk. I'd keep my finger in there while refilling the syringe (if possible) and then drizzle more in until he seemed done. You do it nice & slowly so they can keep up.

But that way, he got the breastmilk, and associated it with having something towards the back of his mouth - which is how the nipple would be in a good latch. We did that for a week (as suggested by the l.c.) and did skin on skin whenever possible. After the week was up, I tried having him latch before feeding him in the same way, and he actually didn't take him long to correctly latch on then.

Now, again, that's what worked for us, but every baby is different. Good luck to you two!

Take care,
M. S (#2) :)

Hi,
I had to use a nipple sheild with both my kids. My nipples were too little for the babies to get a good latch-on. With the shield, I was able to nurse, but it was not very convenient to have to wash the shield before/after each feeding. My daughter was able to nurse on her own after 6 months or so. I was hoping to not have to use it at all when my second child was born, but I did, though for less time--my son was able to latch on by himself at 3 months. My son had a rough start with nursing, too, because I had hemmorraging after his birth, and my milk didn't come in until day 6. He had to be bottlefed until that time, and getting him to switch over to the breast was very difficult. He refused to nurse at first, so I would trick him, by giving him the bottle at first, and then pulling it out of his mouth and sticking my nipple (with the shield on) into his mouth quickly. It literally took three weeks before he would feed regularly. Just keep trying! It can be SO frustrating, but worth it. Good luck!

I don't know if this will help, but I'll share my experience with my first child. She was, and still is a lazy eater. She was born early and was loosing weight rapidly. I was being pressured to supplement with formula. I also had a bad case of flat and inverted nipples, so the lactation lady told me to pump for 2 weeks to fix the problem, then come back to her for direction on how to nurse. So I pumped, then went back for help. Nursing with a specialist there was easy, but once I got home, it was very difficult and stressful. It seemed like my daughter was constantly hungry even after nursing her for over an hour. I gave up nursing and continued to pump. It broke my heart that I couldn't nurse her and get enough food in her belly. My milk supply was just fine, but I couldn't have a baby attached to my breast 24 hours a day. After 3 months, I decided that I would try to nurse her again. I did some research online to see if other women had tried to start nursing late, and couldn't find anything of any value. I asked the pediatrician and a lactation consultant if they thought it was possible, and both said yes. So I did it. Here is my advice: 1- Switch over to the Advent bottles as babies have to work harder to get the milk out and it's an easier transaction from bottle to breast. 2- In the beginning, try to breastfeed when she's very hungry (like first thing in the morning), but before she's completely awake, and before she gets upset. 3- Try to nurse for 5-10 minutes before offering the bottle. 4- Don't expect to be successful every time or even much of the time, and keep trying. 5- Let her explore the nipple and get used to it. She'll soon figure out that's where her yummy milk comes from. 6- keep the atmosphere calm.

My first successful breastfeeding session happened first thing in the morning about two weeks after I started trying. I put her to the breast and she started drinking. I was crying with joy. After about 5 minutes, I called out to my husband to come witness it, and once he entered the room, my daughter fully woke up and then demanded a bottle. The first attempt was short lived, but well worth it!

If you decide not to breastfeed, but still want to provide her with breastmilk, try this: Pump 5-8 times a day, and continue to pump for several minutes even after the milk stops to flow. This will increase your milk supply. After a while, you'll be able to drop one or two pumpings per day and still be able to provide for your daughters food demands. This is what I did, and was able to produce enough milk to feed twins. We had a deep freezer full of breastmilk!

Best of luck to you!

A couple of things. First, you are a great mom! You not only are making the extra effort to make sure your baby gets breastmilk, even though it's in a bottle, you want to give her the added benefit of actually breastfeeding! Wow! Keep at it!

That said, I know a woman who had similar issues with her third child (she had breastfed both her other children for at least two years each, so was an experienced nursing mom). She ended up keeping up with the bottle feeding of breastmilk until her youngest was 1 1/2 or two. So, it can work and be very beneficial, even if you continue what you're doing now.

La Leche League is your best bet for getting to talk to and visit with a human being about this. Google them and you'll find regional info for yourself. You could also look them up in the phone book, check at a hospital or clinic for a local chapter or contact a nearby natural health store.

I suggest you try withholding bottle feeding for a day or two and just offering the breast; express milk right into your baby's mouth and see how she takes to it. Don't go longer than a day or two unless there are very positive and hopeful signs that she will nurse well quickly. Another additional option is to nurse for a designated period of time and give the bottle ONLY after she has nursed for that time. It is much easier for her to get the milk from the bottle than from your breast so, of course, she doesn't want to work harder to get the milk when a bottle is so easy. Make sure you have the best possible bottle nipples that simulate the way milk comes out of the breast and are not too easy for her.

It will take a lot of work, but it IS possible to get her back on the breast. The day or two of nothing but breastfeeding will probably be VERY challenging so get whatever support you can during this time and the whole time you are working on this.

Good luck, peace, and blessings on you and your family.

G.

Hi M.: I'm a breastfeeding educator (not a Lactation Consultant) and work at an innovative clinic that specializes in breastfeeding only. I work with 4 board certified LC's and a pediatrician who is also a board certified LC. Anyway, what you are describing is a common practice when there are supply problems along with weight gain problems. It's called triple feeding (feed, pump and supplement w/ pumped milk & any additional formula needed at each feeding). Typically, when we are working with moms who are triple feeding, they come back in every 2 or 3 days to work with the LC. As baby grows and as your milk supply is better established, the goal would be to move baby more to breast. Sometimes parents finger feed with a syringe and small tube instead of using a bottle as a way to teach baby to suck, however, the priority is to get your baby fed AND to establish a milk supply. Babies can learn to latch down the road. There are a lot of questions that need to be asked in this situation, but I would strongly suggest you get in touch with your Lactation Consultant for continuing care. Good luck!

I never had the serious problems you have described, but had the opposite - one of my babies (i have 4, now 7 - 13 years)was so hungry that i was nursing him every 45 minutes and at 6 weeks was supplimenting him with a 6 oz bottle of formula in the morning and evening! I finally had to quit nursing (milk production, also wasn't a problem -i had plenty)and go exclusively with formula. It became much less stressful, and both of us were much happier. My oldest is adopted so i wasn't able to nurse obviously, but my daughters i nursed without a hitch. They are now all wonderfully healthy, intelligent and well adjusted - well, my 13 year old is momentairly, not :-), but that should change in a few years!
I agree with Christine who responded, persistence can surely pay off, but if it doesn't, don't despair, i believe both ways work just fine. For me, i wanted my babies to recieve all the health benefits of mother's milk for staying healthy, etc. and since you have been feeding yours for three months they have gotten that benefit. Bottle feeding can be just as intimate or more-so depending on you. I know some moms who nursed and watched TV and never interacted with their baby and i know some others who bottle-fed and used that time to focus totally on the baby. I hope this is an encouragement to you.

Hi M.,

I was totally in your shoes two years ago. My baby didn't nurse for 3 months and I too pumped every two hours day and night so I wouldn't run out of milk. I was told by a lactation specialist that right around the 3 month mark, your baby develops a nipple preference and if you want to nurse, you have to really try right now!

I know how frustrating it is, and no matter how many people tell you to keep trying the breast, it seems impossible. However, I did it and I seriously could not believe my baby switched. I just kept offering him my breast at every feeding before I gave him the bottle. I would let him get a little frustrated, (and there was milk everywhere), but one day he latched on and never looked back. They only have to latch on once to realize the milk flows a lot faster from the breast, and then they are hooked.

Don't bother with a nipple shield, they are worthless.

Now, if that doesn't work and you have to go to a bottle, don't worry. You gave it your best shot and gave him the best for 3 whole months. He'll live with formula, or you can keep pumping. The plus side to pumping is you can start to get a storage of milk (I had about 100 bags saved when he switched). Plus, my baby never took another bottle again, and I couldn't leave him anywhere. I was trapped for 14 months until I weaned him, which was horrible.

So, bottom line is do the best you can - there are pros and cons of both so be happy no matter what.
Good Luck!! I really feel for you.

M.

I had the same problem with my first born and gave up by bottle feeding - but my third stop nursing when I got too engorged - so I was advised that if I wanted to continue nursing that I shouldn't give her a bottle but instead feed her with a medicine dropper and continue to offer the breast in a postive way - that is if it gets to frustraiting for you she will sense that and start to cry. It took us about three days and then she finally latched on. she didn't lose any weight because I continued to give her breast nilk from the dropper. I was very time consuming but well worth the trouble for time it took - hope this helps.

If I were you, I would be really persistent about offering the breast. Perhaps even drizzle a little milk in your daughter's mouth and then put her up to the breast? You might need to work with a different lactation consultant. I urge you to continue to try and try and try just because my first son refused the breast (preferred the bottle) and I had to pump and then feed him a bottle every time he ate. I did this for 8 months and it is not fun, especially in the middle of the night! I really wish I had been more persistent and sought the advice of another lactation consultant. I nursed my second son normally for 18 months and it is so much easier!