Two Year Old Wont Eat

My 2 1/2 year old rarely eats dinner. He gets hungry while I'm making dinner and I end up giving him a healthy snack, like a banana. Then he sits with us for at least part of dinner time and sometimes he'll eat a few bites and sometimes he'll eat nothing. Then within a half hour or so after dinner and bath, he'll tell me he's hungry. I think it's just an age thing-- they eat in spurts. The reason day cares feed them about every 2 hours is because that's an age appropriate and healthy way to fill their little bellies. They actually say you should look at what the child has eaten in the span of the whole day (or in some cases over several days) rather than stressing over what he eats at each sitting. Give him a small plate with a few bites of each type of food on it at dinner time, then have a conversation with him and your husband about your day and if he eats, fine-- if not, fine. Fighting with him to get him to eat is useless and likely not how you want to be spending your "quality" time with him.

I am still going through it and my son will be 4 in May. Our doctor said that it is mainly a power struggle. They can control the not eating. I don't fight with him anymore it is not worth it. The doctor said he is fine for his weight, and he pretty much eats when he is hungry. I try to give him fruits, he will not eat any veggies! I do give him milk with a packet of Carnation Instant Breakfast (recommended by doctor) It has all the vitamins and other good stuff, if I feel he did not eat well during the day. It is alot cheaper than Pediasure. I am hoping as he gets older I can gain control of the situation. It is pretty hard to make them do anything during these stages, all you can do is keep trying. Just keeping doing what you did before, I have read it can take several attempts to get them to try something different or do what they were doing before.

I'm sure you will get lots of help with this one so i will keep it simple and short. Always remember, your son will never allow himself to starv. If you are sure to give him a healthy breakfast including fruit. (maybe yogart, oatmeal, cereal) and his snacks are wholesome and healthy then don't worry too much about dinner. His glass of milk will coat his stomach and curve his hunger pains. My question to you is, does he sleep well at night? Sometimes if children eat dinner too close to bed, end up with indigestion problems which isn't good for child or mommy. Also, (as you may be finding out first hand) children go through growth spurts. You might find one month he has no appetite and the next month, you can't feed him enough without him asking for more. Also, you are right about his schedule, it does play a big part in all of this. He is getting his fill during the day and not too hungry at night. Just think, you don't have to frantically rush home for dinner anymore. Enjoy a nice grilled chicken salad and have some time with your husband while your son plays waiting for bed time.

Like you, I believe in family dinners. I think they help mold kids concepts of good eating habits while also providing a place for families to come together and learn to have conversations. It may sound strange, but I have older kids (11 & 14) and I firmly believe this has been critical in their development!

This sounds crazy, but what if you cook in advance? For example, I'm a single mom with REALLY active kids and a more than full-time job. I do the majority of my cooking on Sunday and usually cook 3 FULL meals with enough for leftovers on Sunday. That gives us Sunday - Friday dinners. I freeze or refrigerate the meals (in portions for one meal) and then set them in the fridge to thaw in the morning before I leave to work. When I get home, I nuke them and then make a fresh green veggie (salad, broccoli, etc). Dinner is on the table in 10 minutes, tops.

This has really helped us cut out the amount of time it takes to get dinner on the table. This may help you keep him interested in eating. Also, what if you gave him veggies to munch on in the car while you go home or while you are getting dinner on the table? If you have a place he can sit in your presence while you warm up dinner, that may keep him engaged in the dinner process as well ... either way, at least he's had some of his dinner (veggies) and can finish a little bit more (main course) in time to sit down with you for dinner.

Either way ... my kids had to sit with us through dinner as well. I cannot tell you how many interesting and crazy conversations we've had over family dinner that wouldn't have happened if I would have just let them go play when they were done.

I hope something here could help you ...

Good luck! :)

Hi T.,

Sounds like you got some pretty good advice and reassurance that your little guy is totally normal so I won't go through all that. My main concern with my son was that he was getting the right amount of nutrition in his diet. At 6 years old he still has those picky moments. Frankly, I don't worry so much because I have him on an excellent multivitamin that supplements all of his nutritional needs. I think that's important even when he is eating pretty good because food just isn't what it used to be and doesn't contain the nutrients it once did. The multi-vitamin supplement I give him is 95% + absorbable so I KNOW he's getting the supplements he needs.

My son is a healthy little guy, eats like a horse at times and like a bird at others. Bottom line, kids eat when they're hungry. It's my job as a mom to make sure he has healthy choices and give him that supplement to make sure his nutritional needs are met.

K. Woodlief
www.LovinLifeHome.com

Goodmorning Mom,
Just want you to know that you have a very typical 2 year old. I am a great grandmother and childcare is my business, so we have seen about every version of eating/not eating. He WILL EAT when he is hungry. Will the daycare cooperate and give him snacks every 3 hours? Do you know what they feed him? He is just at that age where his taste buds are really beginning to form and he will develop his own liking and not-liking food. Perhaps if you prolong his dinner meal until 1 hour later, he might eat - and we offer fresh fruit to picky eaters and they usually love it. It is healthy and easily prepared. You are doing a great job!

Hi, T.. Well, the good news is that children who are your son's age do not, DO NOT, ever starve themselves to death. If they are hungry, they will eat. So he must be getting enough food from somewhere.

The sippy cup at night does not mean he is hungry. It probably means he is thirsty. It also means that he likes having the comfort of milk from something he can suck on -- the sippy cup is sort of halfway like a bottle, so he likes it and uses it for taking care of thirst and for the pleasure of using it. He's being a big boy, but he's also getting the fun of sucking on what he's drinking. No harm in that at all. Let him drink it and be happy.

Please get out of the mindset of MAKING him eat dinner. Again, a 2-year-old WILL NOT starve himself. If daycare is feeding him every 2 hours, then he is eating quite a lot of food. If they are healthy snacks, as they should be, then he is doing fine.

The only time you need to worry about a toddler's eating habits is if they are (1) weird, like he wants to eat paint or dirt or other harmful things, or (2) he gets sick from what he eats, or (3) he throws up all the time, or (4) he's losing weight or not gaining steadily, a little bit at a time. Your son may not be in a growth spurt at this time, so he may not need to eat the way he ate before.

If you are concerned about getting him to eat at strictly scheduled times, then I think that, right there, is the problem, because his not an adult and will eat according to the needs of his body, not according to the clock. You can still have family time at the dinner table, but don't worry yourself sick over how much he eats. Keep the social thing going of the family sitting down together, because he needs that, and don't worry about anything else.

Also...DO NOT MAKE FOOD AN ISSUE FOR POWER STRUGGLES. You will only make yourself miserable in the long run, not to mention hurting your child. If your child knows he or she can upset you by not eating, then he will use that against you. The more upset you are about his eating habits, the more he will try to upset you. It's not because he is evil -- it's because at this stage in his life, he is on a long, exciting journey all about learning cause and effect. He is learning that doing certain things causes other things to happen, and this is absolutely fascinating for young children. This fascination continues into the rest of their childhood. So don't set yourself up for being his feeding experiment -- give meal times as little emotional impact as possible, except for making them wonderful family times.

When his body grows some more and he begins to need food on a schedule more like the one you and your partner keep, then he will conform to meal times. But don't expect to radically change the schedule he was on before and then have him respond exactly the same way.

Again, if he's eating every two hours all day long, HE'S EATING A LOT OF FOOD. Just make sure they are feeding him the right things. Make sure he isn't filling up on sugar, including the drinks they give him. And let him have all the milk he wants, as long as he's not allergic to it.

You're doing fine, Hon. Just relax and don't try to MAKE him eat. Your love for him isn't measured in how much you feed him, and his love for you isn't measured in how much he eats. Your love can't be measured, just observed. Enjoy him, and enjoy mealtimes.

Peace,
Syl

Just as the previous poster said, eating small amounts every two hours or so seems about right for his age, and even if he doesn't eat, he should still be joining the family for dinner time. However, if it is important to you that he eat a substantial dinner, you may want to consider moving dinner to 7:00. I know it seems late, but you can always adjust your schedule as he gets older and his appetite is more in line with yours.

What kind of "snacks" is the daycare staff giving your son? What I call "gas station food" are crackers, sugary drinks, pretzels...
He's also stressed from the separation and probably has no appetite once home with you. You are also rushed and stressed, so perhaps preparing something simple, like a sandwich, grapes, green beans. Also, I used to bag and freeze mixed fruit that I would throw into the blender with a little apple juice, so my boys would have a fruit smoothie in the morning or after school. Add a little protein powder and it's healthy.
Blessings