Two Miscarriages over 40-years-old--Do I Try Again?

Follow your heart and if you truly want to go through with this... work with your doctor to see if there is, potentially, a medical reason why your body has gone through this. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you are a great mom who adores her son! Your son's at a great age too... probably very busy!

Whatever happens, don't think that this is your fault - you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Personally, I feel like there was a point in my life that I spent a long time trying to have number three and beating myself up over it, that it took away from the time that I spent with my two. But for you... you just have to follow your heart.... sometimes what we desire and what REALLY happens are two different things. Two years from now - you may still be blessed with one son or you could have twins, triplets, etc... - you have to find peace in that, too, if that happens. Every pregnancy is a new experience.

I'm sure your husband loves you and he is concerned over your health and well-being and he wants you around for a long time. Whatever you decide, I hope you and your family find peace with your decision.

Best of luck.

L.,
I'm so sorry about your losses. I had a healthy baby boy, (who is now 6), then I had two miscarriages, within a two year period. I kinda just stopped thinking about it, started looking into adoption, then BAM! I got preg with my youngest, who is 21 months now. I call him my "miricle". I am 31, so, I am a little younger, but do what is best for you and your family. We have been trying for our third, but unfortuatly I had another miscarriage last July. I did not even know I was pregnate, I was 3 weeks along and had very bad clotting, so went into ER. They did a urine test and it came out negative! They did a blood test and it came out positive. You can have a healthy baby, miscarriages are very common, even though it is a very, very hard thing to go through. It just depends how many times you are willing or able to go through it. I wish you the best and just leave it in God's hands!

At 44, you are very lucky to have a 26-month-old son. The fertility rates for women over 40 drop dramatically, so if you conceived your son at 41, you were extremely lucky. I am 44, I started doing fertility treatments with a reproductive endocrinologist at 42 and 10 months - I had regular periods, still ovulated, everything was normal, but I didn't understand that a woman age 42-43 has only about a 5 percent chance of getting pg and carrying to term, due to old eggs. The body uses up the good eggs first and what that means is by the time you hit 35 many of them are gone, by 40 most of them are gone. At 44-45 you have about a one percent chance of getting pg and carrying to term. That's because the eggs you have left are not good - they are chromosomally abnormal. In addition, your chances of having a child with Down's Syndrome is about 25 percent - extremely high. Those celebrities you see having children at 45 and older - they are using donor eggs. This is commonly known in the donor egg support groups. I ended up having to go to donor eggs and even with that I have had two miscarriages - turns out I had a thyroid issue that was not previously identified.

It sounds like you and your husband aren't on the same page. I think you really need to resolve this issue as soon as possible- here's why: If you want to have another child, you have a couple of options, donor egg, donor embryo or adoption. With donor egg or embryo, you will have to go through the fertility treatments - shots, etc. With adoption, I've been told that if you are 45 or older, the time it will take you to be matched will be longer, because with open adoption, which is the prevalent adoption method today, birth moms choose the parents and they often don't want parents 45 or older because that's how old their own moms are.

I don't tell you these things to be the bearer of bad news, but because there is so much women don't know because no one tells them or talks about it until it is too late. I see many women on my donor egg support group that are in their mid-to-late 30s who already have diminished egg quality or quantity. I wish someone had told me at 35 what my chances were for having a biological child after 40 - I probably would have acted sooner. That being said, if you want to have a sibling for your son, I would immediately go to a fertility clinic and talk to them about donor egg or start looking into adoption.

L., I just read the latest post to your request and wanted to let you know that a friend of mine conceived naturally at 47 yoa (although she tried unsuccesfully with fertility treatments from age 43-45). She was 48 when her son (her 3rd boy) was born. And he is completely healthy. So although the "statistics" may not be on your side (I'm sure you are already aware of much of what the latest poster told you), it is possible to have a healthy baby in your 40's. good luck.

I had one m/c, then my son, then 2 m/c's w/in a 6 months time span last year, now I'm 28 weeks pg -- due 7/5. I'm 37. I did end up going to a specialist (Mary Stephenson at University of Chicago -- she specializes in recurrent m/c's) after my last m/c, however, they didn't do much more than monitor this pregnancy more closely (I was already pg when I had my first appointment with them). She did detect some bleeding and put me on a leave a absence from work through my 1st trimester, which potentially could have helped. But I think what helped me more is that I went to see a wholistic physician. He put me on a special diet that involved cutting out all processed foods and most carbs (except fruit), eating certain combinations of foods and drinking A LOT of water -- 3 liters/day. This all had to do with making sure my body was as healthy and balanced as it could be to sustain a healthy pregnancy -- they say that if your pH levels are too acidic, the pregnancy may have a harder time surviving. If you would like the name of my wholistic physician, let me know. Good Luck.

have you had your progesterone tested

My first pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage, then I had a healthy girl. I'm pregnant again and worried I will miscarry (just 6 weeks). I'm also almost 37.

I don't know how else to say this, but I see miscarriages as nature's little blessings: they make sure you only have healthy children. Since you are older, you do stand to have more issues with the fetus; the miscarriage rate is higher for older women for this reason.

If I was you, I'd probably keep on trying. Chances are, you will have another, healthy baby --in time. Just remember that 1 in 4 pregnancies results in a miscarriage. They are very, very common, especially when you are older. They aren't anyone's fault, just nature doing its job to ensure the health of the species.

Follow your heart and you will get where you need to go. Good Luck!

Miscarriages are tough. You need to follow your heart. I had one miscarriage (that I know of) before I got pregnant with my son. Sometimes the pregnancy is just not viable, other times there is a reason. Contact your Doc and see what they recomend. Good Luck!

I agree to follow your heart, but to also put your health first.

Do you think you should see a fertility specialist?Perhaps they could do more specific testing and screen for risks?