I work for a great company. It allows me to work from home with great flexibility. I am the only employee with kids however. We are now doing conventions that will require travel out of everyone at different times. While this is a bit exciting, I am sad to have to leave my kids. It will be for 3 days max. Between my husband at night and Grandma during the day, I know they will be fine but I just get sad thinking about leaving. My oldest is 7, middle is 4 and my baby is 6 months. I won't have to do my traveling until he is 9 months old. The family won't be able to come with me because school will be starting at the time I am leaving, not the first day but we will be in the first few weeks of school. How do you mamas do it? I was sad when I had to leave them for one whole day & that wasn't an overnight trip. Please no lectures, I know I need to cut the cord. I am not worried about the kids, I am worried about me missing them and flying.
Wow! Such wonderful responses! Thank you SO much. You made me feel better about everything and not infact, abandoning my kids!
I travel for work and was apprehensive about it at first. Now I look forward to the private relaxing time it gives me. I get to sleep in a nice hotel, don't have to cook or clean, I can watch what I want on TV, swim in the pool, sleep until 7 am.
I speak to the children every night before bed. I always take a little present home for them when I've been away.
If you have mobile phones that can send/receive video, have your husband take some video of the kids and send it to you. Or if you have a computer or phone that can do video chat, set up a time to do that while you are away.
While you are away, enjoy the things that you might not easily be able to do at home. Have a nice dinner out, get a spa treatment, or sleep in. I travel without my kids 2-3 weekends a year and, even though I may miss them, I enjoy the flexibility to do what I want without a time constraint. Sometimes that might mean having a long dinner out. Other times it may mean just sitting on the sofa and reading for long periods of time.
Well, you know they will be well cared for.
And it's probably a requirement that you go.
My boss travels a LOT and has since her kids were babies..she used to take her husband and mom and dad along with her!
Call in the morning and again at night.
(Although, sometimes when my husband is away, bedtime goes smoother if he doesn't call right before bed--it reminds my son that he MISSES dad!)
As far as the flight--beverage service! LOL
Bring pictures of them - either on your computer or printed out. Call once a day to check in and speak with the older ones (more than that and you'll disrupt their routine and make yourself sad). Plan fun things to do while you're gone. If you have a little downtime, get a pedicure. Schedule dinners with coworkers in advance so you don't find yourself wandering around your hotel room lonely and bored. And, start a tradition of bringing home something for your kids that is similar in each city. I bring home snow globes.
And what are you worried about with flying? If you have specific fears, people here might be able to help you address them. In the meantime, just try to remember that it's the safest way to travel, even if it's not much fun.
My job sounds very similar to yours - I work from home full time, have great flexibility, and have to travel every once in a while. It gets easier the more you do it.
T., I looked at it like an adventure. I only had to do it once a year, and I'd get little gifts at the airport to bring back to my kids, and they loved them. I kept the theme the same because it was the same city each time, and they looked forward to adding to their "collection".
The way I look at it is that if the father travels for his job, then as a mom I had better not bellyache about me having to travel for mine. It could have made my husband wonder why it's alright for him to have to travel and why I thought I was too good to. (I hope that makes sense.)
We do what we gotta do. And it's good for the other parent to understand the responsibility of being the one who is "on call" with a child too. It would be necessary if you ended up in the hospital someday.
Dawn
For the first 9 years of my kids' lives, I had jobs that required some pretty extensive traveling of up to a week at a time. My coping mechanism was simply to go to the bookstore, stock up on the books I'd been meaning to read, but hadn't had time to at home (let's face it, the smaller the kids, the less time you ever have to yourself!), and would hole up in my hotel room at night and lose myself in a great book. If you will have free time during the day, treat yourself to a mani-pedi or go see the sights in whatever city you're visiting. In short, use the time to recharge your batteries (from an emotional standpoint - obviously work is exhausting almost no matter what, especially if you'll be at conventions!) I found that I was a better mother when I was home because I'd had that short break for myself, and my kids were happy I was home. I always figured, how can they miss me if I won't go away? lol
Definitely don't think of it as leaving them behind. Think of it as getting "ME TIME"...even though you'll be working. Call home just after dinner...no sooner, no later. If you call before bedtime it will create angst in them and hardship for hubs or grandparents.
I travel once in while but my hubs travels at least 3-5 days a month. When he calls just before bedtime it's a disaster for me. Lots of "I miss daddy, when is he coming home?"...
Also take the time (if you get any down time) to read, watch a movie you want to watch, get a pedi or mani...go window shopping. All those things you day dream about doing but just never get time...do it.
My last trip was for 2 days...I got through a whole book during my down times (on the plane, in my hotel room)...
If you're not worried about them per se, J. think about how excited you'll be to see them when you return=) As parent sometimes we need to miss them and really appreciate them J. as with any other relationship. plan a fun weekend for the week after you get back and then look foward to that.
Maybe make them a funn treasure hunt map for each day your gone and they can tell you stories of what they;ve found on the phone each night
You really do have nice responses. I would feel the same as you do. I just want to say you don't need to cut the cord. Can't imagine anyone with a mind and heart would say such nonsense to you. These are your babies/children and you are their mother, Mother, that's a big word with a big definition. Of course you're connected to them and them to you, that's the way it's suppose to be, it's the way it's intended to be.
I realize you have to do what you have to do, and it's just wonderful that you'll have grandma there for them. Someone who loves them dearly.
The very best thoughts to you for safe travels and blessings of happiness for you all.
It sounds like you get to spend some amazing, quality time with them most of the time. Look at this travel as a wonderful, cost-effective way to enjoy being an adult, see some new things, eat out, sleep alone, etc. And be soooooo excited to come home to your wonderful family!
I now work at home, but when my oldest was about 1.5 or 2yo, I had a 2day conference a couple of hrs from home. I was nervous. He was with Daddy and did fine. I had a great conference, enjoyed meeting new people, ate a hot meal with other adults, and slept so soundly that night. And I was sooo excited to spend time with them family when I got home! It was wonderful and I told myself to do it earlier and more often the next time.
Time away can be very good for all. It soounds like you have a good plan in place for kids. It will be great time with grandma and good for dad too! Relax and enjoy!
It is hard the first time you leave your kids for a trip. Make sure that grandma and dad are willing to take your calls to check on the kids often. After your first trip it will get much easier. My girls are now young teens and I covet leaving them now and having time away (me time). Your time will come. Just take your trip one day at a time. Good luck and God Bless.
