So i have a friend that has asked me for advice and I have none to give on this subject. I'm hoping that someone out there will have a solution. Here's the story: My friend's daughter is 19 months old and recently learned to crawl out of her crib and in doing so would fight going to bed and would get up in the middle of the night. They were only getting a few hours of sleep every night and part of that was spent on her floor. So they decided to transition to a toddler bed hoping that would help. Well it hasn't she screams at bedtime gets up constantly all through the night and I don't believe they've had more than 4 hours of sleep in the last month. None of my children ever got out of bed like this so I don't know what to suggest. I have suggested just leaving her in there when she wakes up hoping she would fall asleep on her own but I guess they can't let her cry it out. I know they are losing their minds so any advice would be helpful.
they need to get a baby gate for her room, childproof the room, and leave her in there. Bedtime is bedtime...kids require firm rules, especially at this age. Sounds to me like she is testing her limits.....something kids do at this age....and the appropriate response is to let her know the limits are there. It actually comforts kids to realize this.
First I'd have your friend look at the overall sleep her daughter is getting in a 24 hour period. She and her husband may be only getting 4 hours of sleep but there is no way that the 19 year old is surviving on just that-- so maybe it's time to shorten her daytime nap(s) so she is more tired at night and ready for a good night's rest.
At night, bed time needs to be a pleasant experience and her bed needs to be a comfy/cozy/awesome place for her to want to stay in her bed. They need to make sure she has sheets and/or a blanket that she loves (either a character she loves like Disney Princesses or something else she likes like a pink blanket or a blanket with an animal on it that she likes or whatever her interests are)... Then they need to establish a bedtime ritual. It's hard to just pick one-- they sort of evolve over time, but she needs to have the expectation of "here's what will be happening to let you know it is ALMOST bedtime, and here is a routine you can look forward to every night" because toddlers need transition (as opposed to "OK, stop what you're doing, the clock says bed time") and they thrive on repeated rituals because it helps make sense of the crazy world. After bath, my toddler plays for a few minutes, then we let him know it's time for a story with his big brother (which he loves, so he happily stops playing for story time on his brother's bed)... then he goes to get his daddy for prayer time... then he goes around the house hugging everyone (which we know is his way of stalling but we allow it because it's part of his routine now!) ... then my daughter and I sing songs to him in his bed-- it's the same exact 5 verses of the itsy bitsy spider-- he tells us which verse to sing next (always in the same order) and he knows when we sing the Happy Happy spider that his sister will give him a hug and leave the room. Then I linger just for a couple of minutes and talk a little about the highlights of his day and a little about what will be happening tomorrow... then I ALWAYS say "I'll be right back". That is the KEY ingredient to keeping him laying happily in his bed. If your friend wants to try that, she needs to leave the room immediately (it helps if she says she needs to wash some dishes or put her PJs on or go potty or something else the daughter will understand is not something fun she will be missing and mom will honestly be right back). She may not believe mom at first, so it's so important that she comes back into the room in just a few minutes. She just quietly goes into the room, covers up her daughter, and says she'll be right back again. She needs to keep doing this as many times as it takes, with more and more time in between going back in to see her. I only go in once with my son now-- usually 10-15 minues after I've left-- or sometimes I just forget and he falls asleep-- depending on how tired he is.
I really do believe that if you can get your child to bed this way then they fall asleep happy and don't freak out wanting you in the middle of the night. This has worked with my own kids and I've posted it several times here before with people writing to thank me because it worked for them, too
My son did this at 15 months. We had to put him in a toddler bed, and it was difficult until he was about two. We got a gate that fit in the doorway (pressure mounted)and only had bars that went up and down, so he couldn't climb over it. It was taller than the typical baby gate and I could swing it open to go through. This helped some, because he couldn't just open the door and walk out, but he could still see us. They sell them at Babies R Us and at Burlington. It was definately a difficult time, and we did end up having to let him cry it out a bit. We also ended up putting a double mattress on the floor, so he wasn't bumping against the toddler bed frame or falling out of the toddler bed. That helped with the waking up all night.
Best of luck.
M.
If they still have the crib and think the baby feels more comfortable in there and will sleep better, try a crib tent. I never had to use one with my kids, but I had friends that did. They loved them. The kids felt secure, mom and dad knew they were safe and couldn't climb out.
This was just the topic on Babycenter Toddler Bulletin online. Tell her to check it out, she may see something there that will help.
Check out ChildrensBehaviorHelp.com
&/or Yoka Reader- we use both of these amazing sources for this sort of thing, k
my children all hated the crib as well..... i think my lil man slept in it for about 2 weeks and then he went into his own little bed. maybe suggest they get side rails... at walmart or target they are only like 20 dollars... make her little bed up with her sheets and a blanket and just explain to her that she's a big girl now and that she can sleep in a big girls bed... the side rails really do protect them from falling. For my girls i went to Family Dollar and got them the cutest princess comforter for really inexpensive and it's a decent quality so it does last.
They need to ask theirselves if anything else changed in the past few weeks. New sitter, new friend or family in the picture, new pet, etc.... Also do they watch the news or scary shows while she is in the room? News alone can cause nightmares and fears of going to bed. Most parents don't realize that what they watch can harm a small child. They just assume they are playing and not watching or just don't care. Also have the eating habbits change. Maybe to much caffeine close to bed time. Then she might just one of those kids that get scared easy. I would suggest a night light. Maybe a flash light that she can play with when she wakes up. Are there shadows coming in the window? A lot of things look different from a toddler bed then a crib. Honestly, they need to let her cry it out if they ever expect to get any sleep. But they do need to make sure nothing is wrong first. After checking to see if anything is wrong and everything is ok then let her cry. She won't cry long and will fall asleep and everyone will get the sleep they need. Or they can give into her and be sleepless for a few years.
I looked at my son square in the eyes and told him "Look, I am exhausted and I am going to bed...and so are you".
He didn't wake up throughout the night (or maybe he did but I was fast asleep...) and come to wake me up again.
It IS enough to make a person (usually the mother) insane!
