Toddler Drama- I Need Help!

Personally I would give him the 2 choices and then stand your ground for whatever he picks. For instance, do you want to go to the bank with me or not? If he says no and then starts screaming yes, then let him scream. If it's non-negotiable (like a nap) ask if he'd like to sleep with his teddy bear or blankie. It will give him the ability to make his own decisions but you are going to have to be tough and let him know that he needs to make the decision and stick to it. My DD did that for awhile.

Hi SLM,

Poor little guy!!!!!

I'm a huge advocate of GIVING a child control over their environment.... but is it possible that he has TOO MUCH control and, in the face of everything else that's changing, it's just too much for him?

Consistency is what would probably offer him some comfort. I usually agree with the 2 choice thing, but in some cases you might want to eliminate choices all together and have ONE person decide for him and communciate with him what is going on.... so that he can get his security and schedule from one source. So - just tell him that the two of you are going on an errand - would he like the blue jacket or the red sweatshirt so you can get in the car?

I know you know this..... but if you are feeling lost and helpless and have a pounding headache.... imagine what he is feeling!

It will get better with a set schedule and he knows what to expect. Feed him extra information about when he will see people next so that he feels comfortable.

Good Luck!

SLM, he is just a little confused and feeling absolutely no control over his little world. He has been bouncing around to various places too much - and you know that messes with their routines and leads to insecurity. In toddlers this means temper tantrums and angst over the slightest little things.

Start giving him "warnings" - okay, I am going to make your sandwich in a little while - why don't you run upstairs and see Grandpa and by the time you get back you sandwich will be ready - It will be bath time in a little bit, why don't you go get your pjs out and then you can play in the bubbles. Set out expectations for him, let him know what is coming, and then hang in there and follow through.

Expect resistance - but, for right now, don't give in. You know how important it is to have him on a schedule - it provides our little ones with a sense of security - they can be such little creatures of habit.

It is gonna' take a minute for him to readjust to your home and get that secure feeling back. Breathe deeply, in with the good, out with the bad, and know that this too shall pass.

God Bless

Awww, poor Mama, Grandma, childcare giver!

You know it'll level out better than the rest of us. He'll get used to the changes, he'll get older, he'll learn to articulate his frustration rather than act it out.

You need a break! Send them all over to me for the rest of the day!

:)

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