To Nap or Not to Nap? My Toddler's Napping Keeps Her up Late at Night

It sounds like there is a lot of good advice. I had a friend who cut out the nap for her son at this age and then put him to bed earlier. My son, 3, still naps, but on the days he won't, we still have quiet time and rest for 45 minutes. On those days, I put him to bed at 7:00pm. Usually, he goes down at 8:00pm. One book that my friend, a pediatrician, recommended and I like is "Healthy Sleep Habits: Happy Child". I don't agree with everything in the book, but I do like the way he explains sleep needs and sleep rhythms in there. It is by Dr. Mark Weisbluth. It also give suggestions on fixing sleep problems. Good luck!

I would suggest start getting her up earlier & then taking a nap around noon. If that still doesn't work, then just get her up earlier & do away with the nap and do quiet time.

My daughter does the same thing--We try to skip the nap for the most part, unless she is really cranky, and if she does have a nap--I try to put her down by 12 or 12:30 and exercise her a lot in the evening to wear her down. Good luck.

I've experienced this same problem, and here's what I did: Give her something to do other than napping in the afternoon, a video or snack... or even better, read to her or play a game. Spend some time outdoors. The distraction will keep her awake and wear her out for a decent bedtime.

Hi T.! Boy can I relate! Now my boys are teenagers and bigger than me now, but...

When my second one was 2, I gave up on naps for him. What had worked for the first one was not working with him. He was never a great napper anyway, sometimes 30 min- 1 hour was all he would go down for. When he was 2, it became this huge battle first to get him down for the nap, then again at bedtime. So I just stopped the fight, cut out the naps, and finally, for the first time in his life, he slept through the night! Now I'm not saying it was easy, cause I liked naptime myself. But, it was so worth it to get better rest at night. He would occassionally have an accidental nap here and there, in the car running errands, or if he played really hard at the park, he would come hme and just sort of melt. But overall, it worked out so well to just not have that planned naptime any more.

Now my older one has had a different issue. As he became schoolaged, then preteen and on up, he has had a lot of problems with falling asleep at night due to anxiety issues. He also has tremendous allergy problems and due to the combination of both, we had him tested for sleep apnea, which he tested positive for. The advice we were given by the doctor (a neurophysiologist) was to sleep deprive him. It really took me by surprise that he would suggest such a thing for a then 10 year old. I had always been a pretty firm believer in early bedtime for kids. But this dr. wanted us to keep our son up until 1 am, then wake him up at 7 am! It was rough, but my husband and I took turns with who got to make sure he stayed up late, then who go to get up in the morning with him. At first my son thought it was cool that he got to stay up so late, but within 3 nights, he was begging us to let him go to sleep. As much as we would have loved to, the instructions were to keep it up for 2 weeks. After 2 weeks, we could let him go to bed at 12:30, but continue to get him up at 7 am. Every 2 weeks we were allowed to add 30 min. to either end, but the doctor said for his sleep patterns, 11 pm was the earliest bedtime that we should expect, and to maintain getting him up consistantly at the same time. We have been amazed over the years how much better he has done with this regimine, sure was not what I would have expected. Now he is a senior, and will be going away to college, it worries me about how he will do with his sleeping. If he doesn't get good sleep, his behavior changes. Fortunately, it will be a school that is just a coule of hours away, so I feel like we can keep tabs on it.

So it sounds like maybe your daughter could benefit from some seriously controlled sleep deprivation, if you can handle it. Good luck! S.

i think she does need t nap, but yes, you probably should regulate her schedule. I had to do that a little with my 2 1/2 year old. i get her up a littler early from her nap so she's not chatting in her bed until all hours of the night. I would wake her up earlier, maybe try 1/2 hr at a time and try to get her nap to start closer to 1pm. then maybe have her up by 3 and see how that goes.

J. sahm of 5 yr old boy and 2 1/2 yr old girl

Hi Tracey! I went through the same thing with my little girl too! She's 3 yrs. The thing is, she has quit taken naps (her choice) and it really has seemed to help with her going to bed. Try waking her up after an hour and see if she'll go to bed any earlier. If this doesn't help, then maybe try cutting naps altogether. Your sleep is just as important as hers and maybe this will help you find a sleep schedule that works for both of you. I like going to bed pretty early too, and bc she has no nap, I can put her to bed at 8 and she is asleep by 8:30 and sleeps til 7 am. (She goes to preschool so I have to get her up at 7.) Just see what works for you and good luck!

Definitely regulate her schedule, but do it a little at a time and she won't get sleep-deprived. Start getting her up a little earlier each day until she is getting up when you want her to. Throughout the day, alternate energetic activities with quiet ones, like reading a story (I learned that one in child development class, and it has come in handy over the years). Start shortening her naps a little at a time until she starts going to sleep when you want her to.

You will be sleep-deprived if you can't get her schedule synchronized with yours. Plus, when she starts attending school, you won't have as much of a hassle getting her up on her school schedule.

Why do you put her to bed 6 hours after she awakes from her nap? In all the books I've read on sleep I've never heard of that. My son is 26 mos and often naps 2-4pm, then goes to bed at 7:30pm (starts the routine at 7pm so he's asleep around 7:30pm) and sleeps until 6:30am. Kids NEED sleep and rest. I wouldn't cut out her naps until she cuts them out, and then just have required quiet time during that previous nap hour. Try putting her to bed earlier, and you'll get more sleep too.

I would definitely be sure she is up by 8am at the latest and then get her down for a nap between 1:30-2pm and don't let her sleep past 4pm. All kids are different, but I think the long naps are keeping her up later and because she's up late, she's sleeping in. You probably won't be able to shift everything all at once and have any success. Try moving things by about 15-30 minutes at a time and wait a few days to a week before shifting it again. I am just like you and go to bed by 10 or 10:30 every night, so I make sure my daughter is in bed by 8:30 at the latest. That way I have some time with hubby before bed time.

Good Luck!

I son is like that he loves the night. Just try and wake her up early and lay her down for a nap around noon. And but bed at 9 or 10 when ever your going to bed. My son is a little different Their are days that he will wake up at 5:30am or 6:00am and most days he will not take a nap at all and still will not want to go to bed till like 11pm or sometimes even later like even 1am and then he will be back up at 5:30 or 6:00. I hope i helped at least a little

My son is the same. We dropped his nap and he started going to bed much earlier.

Some children are just wired to stay up later, as all my children are that way. However, I did find that regulating naps will help to regulate bedtime. Most of the official things that I read indicate naps should not be longer than one and a half hours by this age and should definitely end by 3:30 or 4 at the latest. I started by having the kids in the bed by 2 pm and if they did not sleep that was their problem; at least they have quiet time. Problem is that if they did not nap then they would fall asleep around 6 or 7 (no matter what I tried to keep them awake), sleep for about thirty minutes and then I would never get them to bed until midnight. So you have to work with it and adjust it. Each child is different, too. I started adjusting bed times and wake up times by ten to fifteen minutes at a time and waited a few days or a week until that settled in before changing again. My 4 year old twins now nap about 1.5 hours, they get up at 8 am and go to bed around 9 to 10. If dad's out of town, sometimes they are up until 11 because they are unsettled and there's just nothing I can do about it. Every house is different and there is no perfect situation. Just make adjustments and count down until they are older and it's easier to work with them. good luck.

I would change her schedule but you can't do it all at once. Get her up thirty minutes earlier and put her to nap thirty minutes earlier and bed time thirty minutes early. The next day add ten or fifteen minutes to that, ect. So she really isn't getting sleep deprived, her schedule is just adjusted slightly. Eventually (hopefully!) she will have a more reasonable schedule.

my girls (5,4,2 and 10 months) are up between 5:45 and 6:30 and only the baby takes a nap (not my choice.)Then the olders go to bed about 8 and the baby goes to bed between 8 and 9.

My kids have been on serious sleep schedules since somewhere between 3-6 months can't exactly remember now. My kids generally sleep from 7 to 7 but somewhere around 2 both my kids gave up napping. Ideally they should have still been napping according to all sleep books but what I found was that if they napped they'd be up hanging out long after I'd put them to bed. A consistent morning and bedtime are important as well as a night time routine. I'd say wake her up at 7 am every morning move her nap up in the day (no later than 1 pm) and see how that works after a week or so. I'd guess that you'll start seeing a change if still having a problem after that I'd try shortening naps and then eliminate completely if you have to. That is basically the pattern I did with mine, first moved the naps up then shortened them and then eliminated. However, when I eliminated naptime I instituted quite rest time. In their beds reading books and/or playing with quite toys and what I found was that when I did that it gave them the rest time they needed when they really need a nap they'll take it otherwise they just rejuvinate themselves for remainder of the day.

Mine are currently 3 3/4 and 5 1/2 yrs. Hope that helps!

T.,

Our kids should meet! I have a 2 1/2 year old son as well that is doing the exact same as your daughter!!!
I know that my first son gave up his nap close to that time and that did help. My problem is he also has a twin sister who sleeps great, and truthfully I still need the break during the day. (which is why I have been keeping the nap) I think I am going to keep it until he turns three, but like you said limit the time he naps to closer to and hour and a half or two. It is so funny beacause we'll put him to bed and we'll literally hear him for hours talking to himself and having a good old time upstairs! :) Best of Luck to you; I feel your pain!
J.
(Mom to Cole (4) & Cassidy and Carter 2 1/2
P.S. I wouldn't worry about the sleep deprivation; I think she'll get the rest she needs.

I had similar problems with my son and we had him on a schedule. I LOVE to sleep so I feel your pain. We started waking him up at 7 and giving him a shower first thing to get him really awake or he would be in a grogy fog for an hour or so. I had him take only a 1 1/2 hr nap and he had to be up by 2 no matter what so if he didn't go to sleep right away when I put him down then his nap wasn't as long. This I think helped him regulate the most having a definate wake up time twice a day. He would then go to bed at 8pm. It was rough at first but eventually when nap time came he went right down and at bedtime he was usually tired enough to at least lay in be and talk to himself until he fell asleep. Be prepared for lots of cranky but in the long run it's how we survived. He quit naps at 3 1/2 because he would sleep at night. He now takes a nap only if his allergies are bothering him. Good luck
B.

Her naps are too long. Wake her up gently.

T.,
I agree with some of the others - her naps are too long. I would try limiting them to 2 hours max. I would also try that first for two or three weeks and see if that along makes a difference. If you try and change her whole schedule (waking her earlier in the a.m., limiting her naps, and putting her to bed earlier), it seems like you wouldn't know what was working and what wasn't. I would try limiting the napping time, then if that seems to work, put her down earlier at night based on her tired signs - hoepfully that will happen naturally that she's just more tired at night. Good luck!

I got in the habit of waking mine at 8am, nap at 1p -- and didn't let her sleep longer than 3 hours..., and then bed by 7:30p-8p the latest. If her nap is less or she chooses to go on a nap strike, I put her to bed earlier at like 7p. I have done this for a very long time, and she has fallen into this schedule. There are times like recently when I took the pacifier away or when she has a growth spurt or teeth are coming im that things have gone awry, but we invariably end up on schedule again.

Consistency and Schedule is a must!! They love it!! Truly.

BTW> My kiddo is 27months.

T.,

I agree with Cara. I would try and wake her up earlier and see if that helps. My son stop taking naps right around his 3rd birthday (his choice as well). If he ends up taking a nap during the day, we are in for a LONG night ahead. I always looked forward to his nap because then I got a break, but now we just have quiet time together while the baby naps.

Also, while you're weaning the naps, it's probably a good idea to have her nap every 2-3 days so she can catch up on her zzzz's. Eventually the naps will fizzle out all together and her schedule will regulate itself.

You're doing great!!!

I started just waking both of mine up at 7 am. I try my best to keep them on a schedule (aside from things coming up). They have lunch and then we wash hands and go take a nap. My 4 year old doesn't nap much anymore, but I tell him that he has to lay down so that his sister "thinks" he's taking a nap. They both lay down around 12 or 1 pm. At 3pm, if she's still sleeping, I tell brother to wake her up. Then, in the evenings, it's dinner, baths, teeth, story time and in bed by 7:45pm. I also have a CD player for them (up high so they don't get it) and I play one round of relaxing lullaby music. Then, ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

It took about 2 weeks to get them to comply with things, some nights we have rough spots, but for the most part, it works!
Good luck

one of my sons is similar to your daughter in this way. we tried several adjustments before we found one that worked. i recommend trying an adjustment for a few weeks before evaluating its pros & cons for you & your daughter. having a balance for the two of you can be found (and its okay for both of your sleep needs to be prioritized!)- just keep trying ;)

what worked for my son is a full nap every other day & a huge effort by my husband & i to keep his physical activity level really high for the few hours before bed (playing outside, wrestling, jumping on trampoline (supervised), etc..) to help him burn off some of his energy that keeps him from being sleepy at bedtime, followed by a really soothing bedtime routine. in the meantime, you might try getting a power-nap yourself when she naps so you can catch up on a few zzzzz's and have the patience for your new sleep routine changes with her. you can do it!

My son quit taking naps at 2yrs old. We had the same problems you are experiencing so I decided to give up the naps and let his body adjust to a decent bedtime at night. You can try to cut her naps short if she wakes easily and is not a grouch when woken up (my son was, so we cut out naps all together about a week of trying short naps. She will probably adjust to no naps and go to bed easily at night, but be prepared to be up earlier than 8am at first! My son is 11 now and goes to bed about 9pm and we have to make him stay in bed until 7am on the weekends. His body clock wakes him at 6-6:30 no matter what time he goes to bed.

It didn't take long for us to adjust and everybody was much happier without naps and an early bedtime and there was never an issue of being sick or sleep deprived. She will go to bed by 8pm if she doesn't have a nap. She may even ask to go to bed, like my son used to!

Good luck,
D.

P.S. I always read to my son as part of our routine for bedtime (still do) and it helps to slow them down before actually getting into bed.