To Nap or Not to Nap? - 2-Yr Old with Older Brother and Sister

Updated on January 10, 2014
R.D. asks from Bedford, NY
12 answers

I have three children - the youngest is 2 1/2 years old. The older kids are 4 and 6. I've always had a great schedule with all 3 kids. They go to bed around 7:30 and everyone wakes at 7a for school. (My 2-yr old has to get up with me to drop off the older two). My two older children gave up their daytime nap at the age of 3. My 2 1/2 year old however, has recently started to fight her nap. If I allow her to stay up, she has a hard time getting through the day. If she takes a nap, she has a hard time going to bed on time and plays in her crib. This seems to suggest that she is starting to outgrow her nap. It just seems early to me. I've tried allowing her to "rest" and just have quiet time so help her push through the day, but not sure it's enough.

So wondering if the third child is just more likely to rebel against nap bc she knows her sister is awake and playing after school. This wasn't a problem from Sept to Dec. It's a very new development. So, I guess I'm wondering how many Moms think 2.5 is too young to give up nap and this is a phase.... and how many Moms of multiple kids think the 3rd child just grows up a bit faster? I work from home PT so this has fairly big implications for my schedule. Any thoughts?

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Well, both my kids napped.
Even at 5 years old.
It was not a battle.
They were tired and needed it.
We had a routine of it.
And they both still went to bed just fine, at their regular time.
Which was and still is, 8:00pm.

In Kindergarten at the school my kids attend, they have nap time for the kids. It is all day Kindergarten 5 days a week.

As my kids got older, IF and when, they were tired/needed a nap, they did so. Without battle. And they would even tell me sometimes "I'm tired, I'm going to nap..." and they would.
And the reason is: I did not make naps, like a "punishment" or that it was something bad. I taught them to know their body's cues, and that naps were good for their bodies and brain. So they never had a negative attitude, toward naps.
And a nap is just temporary.
And they would wake, all refreshed and less fussy/tired.

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M.C.

answers from Chattanooga on

My DD dropped her nap around 2. I just put her in her room, where the rule was that she had to stay in bed. She could look at books, do a puzzle, play with quiet toys, but she HAD to stay in bed. Sometimes she napped, sometimes she didn't.

Now she is 3.5, and I can tell when a growth spurt is coming because she starts napping instead of playing. Lol.

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F.B.

answers from New York on

For what it's worth, the pre-school we have our DS at has the kids in their 3s and 4s class take a 1 hour nap in the afternoon. Our DS, three, needs his nap. His bedtime is 8pm and he wakes up around 7:30.

Best,
F. B.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Don't your 4 and 6 year old kids have to lay down and nap at school? Our kids did all the way through Winter Break in kindergarten. If they didn't go to sleep sometimes they'd make us come pick them up because it was too hard to deal with them when all the rest of the class wanted to sleep.

I also think you're kids go to bed at a crazy bedtime. Don't they get to spend any family time with both you and dad? I'd think 8 or 8:30 would be a more age appropriate bedtime for kids as old as yours. Just my opinion though, they're your kids of course.

Our kids always took a nap because I made them lay down and do it. I knew they'd have to start taking a nap again in pre-school and pre-K and kindergarten so why not keep them napping for as long as possible.

Pushing bedtime back even half an hour to an hour will keep her taking a nap.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

My oldest two dropped their naps around their 2nd bday. My 10 month old is starting to drop her morning nap already!

How about just letting her have a catnap in the car? I found a 10 minute nap on the way to the library to take the edge off, but not mess with bedtime. I would put her to bed 30 minutes earlier, however.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

Kids are all so different with these things, I don't think anyone can even say whether 2.5 is too young to give up a nap or not. Mine gave his up on the day or his 3rd birthday and never looked back, but that's just him.

One thing I wonder, though, is if you could try telling her "Oh, it's 1 o clock! That means it's Quiet Time at [Big Siblings'] school! Do you think you're a big enough girl to have quiet time here, too?"

That's one of the things I really miss about having a toddler -- they're foolable in a really cute way. My son is at a great stage (7), but he sees through everything -- he's laser boy.

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C.C.

answers from Orlando on

My almost 3 year old son gave up naps last summer. He hasn't napped for any length of time since he was 2 years, 5 months. We did "quiet time" for a while, where he would lay in his room and look at books or play quietly for an hour or so. He never would fall asleep during that time like I wanted him to. He used to get crabby by dinner time without the nap, but now its not an issue. He goes to bed between 8 and 8:30 now and wakes between 7:30/8 am. We have had no issues other than me losing MY 'quiet time" before I was ready! It is actually easier as my day doesn't revolve around getting him a nap.

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

I found, when my boys were that age, that naps were dependent on where they were in a growth cycle. You can usually track them pretty reliably by how much they're sleeping and eating. Mine would go through a period of eating a lot more than usual and having a normal level of energy, and then they'd suddenly reduce their eating but have no energy and sleep a LOT more than usual. They were growing. They'd go up to the next size in clothes practically overnight and then they'd go back to sleeping normally. And then after a while they'd have loads of energy and not want to nap.

I could almost predict that, when the "I don't wanna nap" whine started, in a week or two, they'd be eating like horses again.

Anyway...instead of trying to figure out if he needs to nap still, pay attention to where he's at in his growth cycle. I'll be he's not out of naps yet. :-)

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think the answer is to shorten her nap, but not eliminate it altogether. If she can't make it through the day without one, she needs daytime sleep. But, it shouldn't keep her up at night. Limit the nap to maybe 45 minutes (or an hour if she currently sleeps more than two hours) and try tweaking things until you find the right balance.

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

All kids are different in what they need. My oldest did not nap much past the age of 1. My boys? They will still nap if allowed. They are 8 and 6. Maybe your youngest just doesn't need the down time like she used to, and it could be a phase.

Y.M.

answers from Iowa City on

My second daughter gave up her nap (woe was me) at 2. Some kids nap until they are 5, others refuse to do so at 2.

My daughter is now 3 and she tends to take little power naps of 15 -20minutes when in the car after she has preschool (2 days a week).

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

All three of my kids dropped their naps at two, pretty much right after they potty trained, so 2.5 doesn't seem too young to me, it seems normal!
Though we still did quiet/rest time for several months, and sometimes they would actually fall asleep, especially if we had an extra busy day.

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