P.B.
I imagine the response you get from people depends on what THEY decided to do! My point is, only you can decide which is right for you. If you are going to clean house all day, watch TV and basically ignore your kids (I'm not saying you will do that, I just have known people who called themselves SAHM who did that) then go back to work because your kids will be better off there. If you are going to go back to work and work 60+ hours per week out of the home and never see your kids awake for more than 30 minutes per day max (I know a couple of people like that too!)- then do not go back to work, stay home and be with them. Chances are you are like most of us and fall in the middle- you really love your kids, they are your life and #1 priority and all of your decisions are made based on what is best for them. You can make your family a success whether you work outside the home or stay home with your kids (for now or always.) as long as you keep the kids and the family the #1 priority.
I personally chose to stay home with my kids- I have been doing that now for 6 years (I have a 6, 4 and 6 month old). I always knew I would stay home with my kids because my mom (or my dad...) did not, could not and they had difficulty managing three kids, activities and full-time plus overtime careers. I couldn't take dance or piano or play sports because they could not cart me around to practices- I tried to join Brownies (Girl Scouts) and my mom was late picking me up several times so they asked that I not continue. Now, I am not saying that ALL parents handle it like mine did- and in their defense they HAD to work that much to have a home, food, clothes, etc- but that was the experience that I came from and I knew I did not want my life or my kid's to be like that.
Staying home is NOT easy (watch TV, have a spotless house, eat bonbons, etc....)- if you do not take steps to prevent it, it can be very isolating. I joined two mom's groups (www.mothersandmore.org and www.mops.org)for adult conversation/friends as well as playmates for the kids. I plan our days so we are not restless and bored- we do crafts, reading, parks, zoo, library reading times, etc. It helps me organize the time that I play and the times that I need to get household chores done. As a teacher, you would be very well suited to that I would think- planning and balancing fun/learning activities with free independent play time. There are two books that I like called "The Toddler's Busy Book" and "The Preschooler's Busy Book" by Trish Kuffner. They have age appropriate activities to do with your kids. Also, we try to do "theme" activities. In the late summer/fall, we will go pick apples, draw pictures of apples, read stories with apples, write the letter "A", make an apple pie, etc to make learning about a specific topic fun. You can find ideas like that in homeschool/preschool books. These are the kinds of things I do to keep from getting bored/crazy MYSELF- so I am actually a positive at home for them instead of a negative.
I do miss work a bit- mostly the adult interaction and goal-focused tasks- oh, yeah- and the paycheck!! But I would not ever in a million years do it any other way! I get to see my kids do that cute thing or say that cute thing instead of hearing about it from the daycare worker. I get to hug them when they fall and teach them how to work through the tough time when so-and-so doesn't want to play with them. We hear alot about "quality time" being the important thing- but I am a strong believer in "quantity time" being just as important- if not more so. Just my humble opinion and the reasons behind my choice. Don't know if it is helpful to you- but good luck with your decision and whatever you decide, just make sure that all you do within it is with "what is best for my kids and not me?" as the underlying question.
P.
