Time Outs - Maryland Heights,MO

Wow!!! That's a really long time!! At the most it should have been 2 minutes!! I run a daycare and never have I sat a kid down 4 that long!! After the first minute they have forgotten what they did Any way!! If this is the first time she should of just said no,no we don't hit our friends, and have him tell that friend sorry and a hug!! It sounds 2 me like maybe she was having a bad or overwhelming day!! But I'd make sure you keep a tab on that!! Good luck

Time outs should be only the minutes of how old a child is, his timeout should have been only 2 minutes, then he should have apoligized to the child he hit and let him know if it happens again he would be put in timeout for another 2 minutes.

30mins was way to long for a 2yr old to be in timeout.

with my son, the first couple times (he was around 18 months or so), when he started getting agressive, we gave lots of warnings and corrections (when it was daddy or me, or the cats). when i was sure he KNEW that it was wrong and did it anyway, that's when we started time outs. i rarely have to give them to him now (he is 2 1/2). maybe...once a week? my sitter did a lot of loving redirection and correction, and she actually did not start timeouts until after he had had a couple at home. (those would be the two minute kind with lots of explanations beforehand, and hugs and apologies afterwards) like i said, we rarely have to worry about him lashing out in anger now. his timeouts now are mostly for not listening to mommy, since he has so many better things to do now!

for the record i would be highly upset with a sitter that treated my son like that. you didn't mention if he was happily playing in the pack and play or crying the entire time (maybe the sitter didn't go into detail?) but at the very least i would let her know that's unacceptable, and keep an eye on it.

Hi K.,

My first reaction to the 30 minutes was " ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!" Um, I was an early childhood development teacher for 5 years before I had my babies! 30 minutes is an extremely long time for ANY child to be in time out! I don't even put my soon to be 5 year old in time out for that long! That is ridiculous! I don't really agree with the one minute per age but I think a few minutes would have been plenty along with him hugging his friend that he hit and saying that he is sorry.

If he is a child that has a problem hitting, removing from the rest of the children to keep them safe DOES NOT teach the offender how to deal with their problems. It may keep the other children safe but all it does for the offender is teach them how to play by themselves. What about teaching the offender how to deal with their feelings. Instead of hitting when you are angry or upset or frustrated teach them to use their words. Remove the child from the situation. Punish them for hitting (time out a few minutes long) have them say they are sorry and give a hug. Keep your eye on the child that is the offender and try to catch them before they hit. REPEAT the steps. My 2 1/2 year old had a problem with hitting I am happy to say that this is what I did with her and she no longer hits. Yes, it is a lot of work but who ever said that raising and caring for children is easy? I am curious to know if this is a in home daycare or not? I think that IF it were me I would have a long conversation with your care provider on what is and isn't appropriate punishment for my child and if she disagrees with your guidlines I would be looking for a new a daycare. He isn't even my son but what she did for a punishment infuriated me! I am sorry that happened!

My Best
M.

That was way extreme, IMO! I'd be a little upset about that. 30 minutes is horrible!

I've heard, and what I go by, is 1 minute for every year old. Anything over that they lose sight of why they were put in timeout in the first place.

Um in my opinion, thats VERY lengthy! I heard a rule, 1 minute for each year old they are, hes 2, so 2 minutes. Wow 30! Did she forget about him??? lol

Well I would be upset because that is a long time for a child to be in time out especially in the care of another caretaker and not me or my husband I have a 2 yr old daughter and when she does something that deserves a timeout we give it to her/cool down period and it may not be just 2 min. for her age it can be 5-15 min depending on what's going on.Did the caretaker have him say he's sorry to the other child and simply expalin that hitting is hurtful,not just give him the timeout and he doesn't know why.

I agree with a lot of the other folks that we really dont have enough information to make an informed opinion. My initial reaction was that 30 minutes is really extreme, a 2 year old has such a short memory for things like that, after the first 5 minutes he had no idea why he was separated from everyone else in that playpen. I think you just need to have a nice calm, logical discussion with the daycare provider and find out her reasoning for keeping him in there for such an extended length of time.
I think the isolation in and of itself is really rather useless, unless he is made to understand the actions that got him there in the first place then what is being accomplished? That is another reason I think that the 30 minutes was extreme, after that amount of time he would have no connection to the original "transgression" when he was asked to hug his friend and "play nicely".

When Emme gets a timeout for whining, tattling, acting like a baby, etc. (timeout is only used for something that doesn't warrant a spanking), I leave her for about 10 minutes, sometimes 15 if she needs it! I don't start the 10 minutes until after she's done whining, crying, whatever. IMHO, 1 minute per age isn't nearly enough. But that's just me. I have to concur with Suzi, too. There is only so much info that was given.

I have to ask if he was hitting all day, if so I can see removing the child for awhile to keep another one from getting hurt.

I know it may sound harsh for 30 mins but was the pack n play in the middle of the room or in area near her with toys he could play with. Sometimes you have to isolate the child that is hitting for longer than you would like but it may take longer for everyone to move past what was causing the hitting and move on with the rest of the day.

My first reaction was that 30 min is a very long time, but after reading some of the other responses, I have to agree that more info is really needed before any of us could honestly judge the situation. I'm not sure that I agree with the 1 minute per year idea completely but it is a good place to start. It is totally dependent on the child and what they understand. Has he ever been in timeout at home? Does he understand that what he did was wrong? The important thing is that you prevent this behavior from becoming a habit and you teach the child that what they did was not ok. Timeout should always be adapted to the child. If a 5 year old understands after 1 minute that what they did was wrong and they are truely sorry, then it might be appropriate for them to be allowed to get up and play again after apologizing. At the same time if the 2 year old is put in timeout for 2 minutes and then allowed to go play but then immediately goes and repeats the behavior that got him in timeout it the first place, then 2 minutes was obviously not enough. I would talk to the provider a little more about the situation and your concerns. Let her know that you just want to understand her reasons better without being judgemental. Communication is so important and when a topic like this is approached properly with the provider, usually all parties are ok with how things were handled and suggestions can be made for ways to work together to correct the problem.