Thoughts on 30 Month Old Skipping Nap for Earlier Bedtime???

Hi,

My mom is so like that too except she says ..."oh my gosh he needs two naps a day". Yeah I do what I want...hehe.My littlest one is 17 months and he just switched about a month or 2 ago from two naps to one a day. he gets up pro about 7:30 to 8:30, takes a nap around 12:30 and ususally sleeps till around 3:30 then goes to bed at 8....he is most of time in good mood, right now his teeth are bother him though but he sticks to his regular schedule..I think you should do what you want and if you can tell he is ready for only one...then do it....good luck

I would not be worried so much about Psychological development, but more about physical development. HGH (human growth hormone) is only released while we are sleeping. That would be my major concern. If his temperament is ok, I would just ask the pediatrician what they think.
Good Luck!
J. (mother of a 26 month old boy)

do whatever works for you. personally, I held on to the nap as long as possible because I work at home and needed that time and my son was especially active and got whiney without one. but if he doesn't need it, then just give him some quiet time. If things change in his schedule, you may have to re-evaluate.

I'll just add in that around 2-1/2, my daughter went through a phase when she fought naptime and it lasted so long I thought she might be dropping her nap. I was VERY concerned because I was about to give birth to my son at that point and I wanted her to keep napping! :-)

Anyway, as it turned out, I consistently put her down at naptime each day even though she wasn't sleeping and eventually she started napping again. Then she didn't give up her nap completely until about 3-1/2 or so.

I don't know if he needs the nap or not, but I wouldn't give up too quickly in case he's doing something similar to what my daughter did.

Good luck!
B.

Please , 16hrs sleep/day!!! I don't think so. Your son is 2 1/2 and there is nothing wrong with him not napping if he doesn't want to. You need to do what works for your family and take what she says with a pinch of salt. My first 2 kids both stopped taking regular naps age 2 , they dozed off every now and then if we had a particularly busy day and were in the car but that was not often. They both slept (and still do) 12 hrs at night , (they are now 6 & 4) and my youngest (17 months) has 1 nap/day which can be anything from 45 mins to 2 hrs.

Hope this helps

K.

Um..I have never heard of that...and naps at that age are hard to come by at times...the lil ones get their sleep...I would not worry about that ..

Every one is different in regards to how much sleep he needs. I had two children. One napped 2hours and the other only 1/2 hour. By age three neither napped anymore. If your son is sleeping through the night 7pm to 8am, that seems fantastic to me. AF

The books I've read say if they are able to be pleasant until bedtime then they are getting enough sleep. My son stopped napping at 2 years of age and is doing fine developmentally (reading short books at age 3 1/2). He was always on the light end of the sleep scale though. I say do what's right for your son, not based on old wives tales. Good luck!

I know, it is a hard situation. I feel like my MIL and own mom have so much experience that I have to do what they think is right. But then I remember, at one time, they were struggling new parents trying to figure out what worked for them. Each child IS different and some kids are ready to give up that nap at 2. I think those kids probably sleep really soundly at night where as some kids may be light sleepers and need extra sleep.

Since she's saying it is a clinical reason, it is hard to respond to. Ask your pediatrician and then you have a professional opinion to stand behind. I think your pediatrician will tell you to use your gut and work with the kid. If he seems fine and not dragging, go for it. If not, maybe he needs a few occasional naps to catch up. My 6 year old gets an occasional nap, because I can see she is run down. She fights it and then finally takes one and I have to WAKE HER UP. You know your kid best and you can recognize the signs of a tired child.

The fact you are putting him to bed earlier means he really isn't getting much less sleep (if any). We have been trying to cut out a nap for our 4 1/2 year old but she really needs it. She is unable to fall asleep quickly at night (I have the same trouble) and so she needs that extra pep during the day. We have to get rid of the nap by Kindergarten, but it is hard. I trust my gut because I know my kid.

Believe in yourself and your intuition. It is powerful and you're doing a good job.
Liz

I think your MIL thowing a fit probably didn't help her case at all! I do, however, believe it would be innappropriate to get rid of his nap, especially if he isn't the one fighting it. Kids can tolerate a lot, but it doesn't always mean it is in their best interests. I know lots of mom who say, "Oh, my kids slept anywhere." But I alsways feel like that was because they got dragged around and weren't given the opportunity for peaceful sleep. I think sleep is one of the most important things you can give your cild, right up there with nutrition.

In a year he may be giving up naps on his own, so it's really not that long to wait. But he is still a baby and needs middle of the day sleep. Don't rush him I think a child that sage needs more like 12-14 hours. But it is not just about the total and more about how they get through the day. I thik sleep is uner rated by most. Now that doesn't mean it is terrible to Take advantage of his flexibility and keep him up sometimes. But I wouldn't make a regular thing out of it.

my daughter started skipping naps at two and by the time she was your son's age she slept 12-13 hours at night and no nap. she still has a quiet time which is very important because it does help her to rest up for the afternoon. i fought it at first and then my mother told me that i and my three siblings all gave up our nap very early. genetics, perhaps? anyway mil is full of beans. one person said she might actually be uncomfortable about something else. maybe, only you could shed light there but it may be something to think about. happy snoozing!

Mother-in-laws are great, aren't they. Letting you know exactly what a lousy parent you are. LOL. You've gotten some great answers, listen to them. You're doing fine. :-)

I found this article to share with you. It may be helpful for your situation.

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/weeklyquestion/a/04_naps.htm

Your MIL is crazy. Not everykids NEEDS a nap. If it works for yuor son and your family than that's what you do. My almost 3 year old son naps smoedays and doesn't nap others. We put him to bed the same time everynight and he sleeps late as well.

If putting him to bed ealier measns he sleeps til 8, that a great night sleep! I wouldn't worry.

M.

I think despite what they say, some kids just need less sleep. My oldest daughter stopped taking naps at 18 months (ack), My 3rd took naps until she was 4 and my 4th is currently 2 1/2 and doesn't always take naps.
I would say as long as he is eating well, growing properly and isn't getting really grouchy or having changes in behavior that he is probably just fine.

S.,
I'm sure your MIL only wants what is best for her grandson. She feels strongly about sleeping so to appease her, the next time you're at the ped's office, ask about sleeping. Until then avoid the subject with her.

As for your 2&1/2 yr old, you know what works for him. I don't think 16 hours is too much, if that's what he needs. My oldest stop taking naps at 1&1/2. He wouldn't even fall asleep in the car driving across the country. So for him 10 hours was enough. My other boys were different.

Trust your gut. Good luck.
K.

she probably thinks her son needs 16 hours of sleep a day too...anyhoo! I think that if the child did well let it keep on rollin' . they may balk later on and decide. Hey! I need that nap! their body will tell them and you being an "experienced" parent will notice! go with your gut. and just for fun ask you pediatrician what they reccommend for the amount of sleep that a child of that age needs!
keep it up!

Skip the nap! I can't even believe your MIL put her nose where it most certainly does not belong. You said yourself the new schedule worked great for you - so there's your answer. Obviously it's not worth starting a huge argument with the MIL. I would just say this is what works for us, in a very matter of fact way. Both my girls bailed on the nap at 2 1/2 and they're healthy and smart (as far as I can tell - ha ha!)

Did she say the same about your older son? I think there is some other issue, such as you working, that is bothering your MIL, and she is using your son's naps to get back at you. So she pulled the psychology card, just to get you upset. Every child is different, I think your son is getting enough sleep in total, you can't force naps (just as you can't force bowel movements). He might be getting to the age were he will take a nap if he really needs it. My daughter gave up her afternoon nap at 3 1/2, but she'll still take one if she needs it. Talk to your pediatrician or family doctor about sleep requirements, so you have some professional backing if she brings it up again. I'd wouldn't worry about it in the meantime.

our MIL needs to find something else to argue about, sorry if that sounds harsh. Children will sleep the correct amount of time for themselves (except teenagers who sleep enuf for all of us, LOL!) It will NOT mess your sone up, it's just time for him to start adjusting to a different pattern, that's all. He will be fine, don't let your MIL make you feel like you don't know your kids, she's visiting, you live with them. If it were a real problem for your son, you would know, don't you think?

Overall more sleep at a young age (over kids that do not sleep a lot) does help with brain development. So you know where I am coming from: I am a considered amoung my friends to be insane for having my 2.5 year old twins sleep so much and they probably get 13.5 hours overall (7:00-6:30 and 1:30-3:30 most days). Unfortunately with no nap my kids are emotional wrecks and I can't take all the crying. However, I would say that two and a half is a normal time to begin giving up a nap especially if his temperment is good. I would still put him in his room each day at the old nap time for quiet time for a half hour or sobecause he probably isn't ready to give it up every day and some days he might put himself to sleep. I would put him to bed at the earlier time regardless because consistancy is important. When he does nap (which will probably be once or twice a week at first) I'd just consider that extra sleep and keep bedtime the same. He's still getting 13 hours of sleep and I would doubt he was netting more than that before with a 9pm bedtime.

I can't say for sure what is the right thing to do, but you have to follow your gut instincts. Could you shorten his nap instead of getting rid of it? My child is 18 months and my understanding is that he needs 13-14 hours of sleep. He sleeps 10 or 11 hours at night and another 2-3 during the day. I am sure a 30 month old does NOT need 16 hours of sleep. Go to Babycenter.com and search on sleep and it will tell you how much sleep they need at each stage.

Your MIL is nuts! If that's true, my now 14yr old honor student who stopped napping at 8 months, would be a crazy person - she's fine. Does your MIL get 16 hours of sleep a day? I'd be happy with 8.

Your MIL is not correct. That is too much sleep for a 2.5 year old.

My daughter stopped napping two months after she turned 2. We put her to bed an hour earlier now, she still has an hour of quiet time in her room in the middle of the day, and it works out perfectly. She actually goes to sleep much easier at night now that she doesn't nap. It takes some adjusting, but you'll probably end up loving the new schedule.

My daughter sleeps from 7-7, and has one hour of quiet time in her room from 1:30-2:30 every day. It works perfectly. I'm sure your little one is ready to give up the nap, but I would strongly suggest keeping the quiet time. It gives everyone a much needed break.

When my daughter stopped napping, I told her if she didn't want to nap, that was fine, but she was going to have to sit quietly in her crib and read books. She is perfectly happy doing this and looks forward to it every day.

I think that every child is different and you should try that on a trial basis. You may find that on very busy days that you child needs a little nap. I think that a 30 month old getting 12-13 hrs of sleep is fairly normal. I would ask your pediatrician or nurse at the doctors and ask what they recommend. Remember that someone will always have an opinion on your decisions whether it is your mother, your mother in law, or a friend. This is your child and you know them best and what will work for your family. I don't think it is good if it is a huge struggle every time you try to lay your child down for a nap. It stresses you out and your child. Good luck, and take others opinions lightly they aren't there every day.
Jen

Go for it!! Whatever works for your family is best and I must admit that I've never forced my third child to take a nap - she's always been a great about going to bed earlier and she sleeps like a rock once she's put in bed. My first two kids had set nap times but # 3 & #4 just have to go with the flow and keep up. I love the evening hours when they are all in bed!!

I would do what seems right for your son. Every child is different and needs a different amount of sleep. It sounds like from your description that he did just fine with skipping the nap but still getting plenty of rest at night and during quiet time. If his general disposition is good then I would not fight his natural cues. And I speak from personal experience : ) My daughter has always been a light sleeper and requires less sleep than some of the other kids we know in the family and friends. I used to fight her on it and it just made things worse for both of us.

Good luck!

Well i agree to a certain degree with your mother in law. I don't agree it's a phschological issue. I do agree that 2 1/2 is too young to do away with a nap but i also believe that 9pm is too late to go to bed. All the children i have ever watched at my two have always gone to bed at 7:30 pm until they are about 9yrs old. What i believe is happening is that what you believe is normal behavior isn't. A normal sleeping time for a nearly 3yr old is a noon time nap for about 2 hrs. He should sleep from 7:30 until about 7am. It seems nice to have him sleeping until 8 or 9 am but it's not good in the long run.
Also right now he's sleeping those hours for you 7pm until 8am but after he's settled in the sleeping schedule he will start getting over tired and won't anymore. You won't realize it's a sleeping prob and will start reacting to it.
With my husband and I, I've always told him. If the reason the child is acting up is because he's tired that's our fault. That doesn't mean we don't punish but it does mean WE need to fix the prob. so it doesn't happen.
Good luck

According to webmd.com, the recommended amount of sleep for a toddler is 12-14 total hours per day/night. My son gave up napping at 30 months and is now a thriving second grader. I'm sure your MIL means well, but you know your child best and you have to do what works for your family.

I'm impressed that you are running a business and raising two children :)

I don't have my book with me right now but am pretty sure a child that age is fine with 13 - 14 hours of sleep daily. And a lot of kids stop napping naturally between 2 and 3 years. If my daughter napped after she turned 2 she would be awake until 10:30 or 11 every night. We skipped the nap and put her to bed around 7 and she slept much better and longer at night. If you are putting your son to bed at 7 and he is getting up at 8 he is perfectly rested. You will know if he isn't getting enough sleep.

First off I think that the 16 hours of sleep is for a 1 yr old? I thought 2 1/2 yr olds needed something like 13.
Both my older kids stopped napping at 24 months. They both had napped well before, then just around their 2nd birthday they were done. They'd still nap maybe once a week, mostly falling asleep in the car if we were out in the late afternoon. But, they've always had an early bedtime 7-7:30 and I've decided I'd rather have that than a nap.
I'd say sit back and enjoy your evening hours.

Ditto! All kids are different and you know what's best for yours! My daughter stopped napping at 18 mos. She's now 11 years old and doing very well! Good luck to you!

I think going to bed anytime between 6 pm and 8 pm is appropriate for 2-3 year old. My son is also 30 months. We still give him naps but recently have skipped them here and there, depending on our day. I was reading that bed time no later than 8 pm is good, because if they stay up after that they get a second wind and it can be much more difficult to get them to sleep. The article I read stated their internal clock wants them to sleep at about 8 pm or earlier. If we skip the nap then we shoot for 6 pm, if he gets a nap we shoot closer to 8 pm for bed time.

So much has changed since our parents were raising kids and so I often have discrepancies with my Mom and MIL. They just have different, older information sometimes. I wouldn't worry to much about your MIL, I am sure she is just trying to help. I always tell mine that we discuss these things with our pediatrician and all is OK, but thanks for the concern.... Hope that helps.

I have a daughter around the same age. I as well many days skip nap and have everyone in bed around 7. My 5 year old goes to bed at this time, so it is easier on everyone if both the girls go to bed at the same since. I do still have my youngest take a nap about 2-3 days a week, depending on how busy of a week we have.

Every child is different. If he's fine skipping a nap, then go for it. My son gave up afternoon naps for the most part at around 1 1/2 and would sleep for 10-13 hours at night. Depended on what his body needed I guess. I'm sure your MIL has good intentions, maybe ask he pediatrician for their thoughts and then when she brings it up next you can tell her what the Dr. says. Good luck.

Every child is different, if your son is doing well and not having meltdowns by missing a nap then I think it is fine. Especially if he is having his quiet time. My son throws a fit to get out of his nap in the afternoon most times but if he does not get it he will fall asleep at the dinner table and also be a bear in the afternoon - so two clear indications he still needs a nap. I am in the process of reading the no cry sleep solution for toddlers by Elizabeth Pantly who has done extensive research in this area and I have to disagree with your MIL that 16 hours is not the necessary amount of sleep for a toddler.
Do what is right for you and your family!