Terrible Two's - Mansfield,OH

There was just an article on this in a recent magazine (I think Parenting? ) Anyway, it says there is something that can be done, as crazy as it sounds. Once he starts, immediately mimic him. For an example, if he starts crying because he wants something, mimic his crying and immediately say (in short words), 'I'm mad. I want cookie now.' I know, sounds funny, but the Dr made excellent points. Basically, we praise children by saying, 'good job, or, yah,' short, concise words, so you have to do the same. Tantrums are just a child being frustrated and not knowing yet how to correctly verbalize what they are feeling. Also, if he starts yelling, do the same. The Dr said that 95% of the time, the child will stop the behavior because they accomplished what they wanted to, getting you to understand. Once your child stops acting out, you can calmly talk to him, reassure him, or redirect. I didn't believe it, but I tried it with my daughter recently. She is a screamer, so, when I took her cup from her to clean it, she immediately started screaming and went to hit me. I immediately starting screaming and said, 'I am mad. My cup is gone.' Sure, I sounded like a lunitic, but it worked! She stopped and stared at me in disbelief, so I said, 'good job.' and she started to smile!! If you want to know more, I will dig out the mag. SOmeone else mentioned hunger, sleepyness, etc. that is also what the Dr. mentioned. He said that once you notice the start of one, immediately try to redirect or mimic.

My daughter is in her "terrible two's" too. Nothing seems to work all the time but what seems to work the best is just leaving the room that she is in when she is having a tantrum. I guess tantrums aren't much fun without an audience and when I leave she usually quiets down. If she follows me I go into another room and we usually end up running around and laughing so I guess it works as a distraction sometimes too. Also, we started a chart and every day that she makes it through the day without having to go to time-out, she gets a sticker and when she gets ten stickers we get to go out for ice cream. When she starts having a tantrum or misbehaving I remind her that she won't get a sticker if she has to go to time out and sometimes this helps. Good luck and hang in there!

Hi A.!

You are certainly not alone when it comes to dealing with the wrath of a two-year-old. I posted an identical request about my son a couple months ago. What I have figured out since then is that my son goes through phases when he becomes out of control or just whiney. My advise to you is to be patient (easier said then done of course). Identifying his emotions helps, as well as being consistent. Overall, you will notice times when the tantrums are unbearable as well as times when they are nonexistent. Just being patient and realizing your little one is going through a tough time will help you come up with effective solutions. I hope this helps!!

Take care and good luck with your little angel!

K.

well the best advice is the advice that I've done myself my daughter is now 3 1/2 and she is now very well behaved. I did you the time out spot at the begining but it just didn't seem to workfor her (mind you she started her terrible two's when she was 18 months old [she's always been ahead on things]) so her father and I had started spanking her and it seemed to start to work (especially since she had diapers on still) but then she would look at you like nothing happend and that didn't work no more. Then my boyfriend spanked his nephew with a belt ( he was 12 yrs old and he was getting into a lot of trouble but anyway) and my daughter saw that and she saw that the belt hurt. So we have threatend her with the belt but we have never actually had to use it because she would stop what she was doing and start being good agian but now that she is getting older the time out thing is working even better now.... I don't know if this helps but I hope you find the right thing for you and your son

I had got my DH a book from the library - I can not remember the exact name but it was something like Out of Control Preschooler or Toddler - I can't remember. Here is what my DH took from it:

Look for reasons why they are acting up. It is when they are tired, hungry or frustrated. If those situations, all you can do is manage - not discipline.

Pick just a couple of behaviors that you need to work on. In our case it was Jack running away from us. He had developed this into quite a game of chase and it was getting out of control. DH was considering picking our two kids up seperately from daycare as he could not control Jack and carry Lucy at the same time. Hitting and kicking were another issue. He did not do it often or to other kids. Mostly to us and again to get attention.

Second - only use time out to work on the issues that you find most severe in your situation. If you are constantly disciplining - it loses its meaning. Use the timer for time outs. Set it for your childs age plus one. The time out needs to be long enough that they do not want to have one. Prior to this, DH was giving 30 second time outs and letting Jack off the couch when he would say "I be a nice boy now."

The other thing we did was talk about the bad behavior with Jack ahead of time. Like "Jack - we are going to the store now and I need you to be a good boy and walk with Mommy. You may not go running away from me in the store or I will have to give you a time out." DH did this. Jack ran from him once or twice after that at daycare and DH brought him to the couch and sat him in time out. DH has an alarm on his watch and would set it. A couple of time outs at the daycare and
Jack's running from us quickly became a thing of the past.

Maybe you can do a library search and see of you can figure out the book. It was not written by Dr. T. Berry Brazleton, but had a forward by him. He is my favorite child advise guru of all time. He is so laid back, I love him. That is why I got the book. I knew that if Dr. Brazelton recommended it - then it had to be good!