Tantrum Advice

A reward system isn't going to help him right now. He's too little. He needs swift consequences that make him learn to "think" before having his fits. It will take TIME.

At the party, you should have taken him to the car and strapped him into his carseat and shut the car door. You stand outside of the car and ignore him. Let him cry himself silly. When he starts to slack off the crying some, open the door and say "Are you done crying?" When he cries himself out, then you open the door, talk sternly with him about WHY you brought him to the car. Tell him that you're going back to the party and you expect him to behave. Then try again.

Everytime he has a fit when you are out and about, strap him into his car seat and do the same thing. At home, pick him up and put him in his room and don't let him out until he has stopped crying. He will eventually GET that having a fit gets him nothing that he wants. NEVER give him what he wants when he does this.

Dawn

Its a phase thats normal for his age. If you are at home ignore him, if yoh are in public go to the car until hes done. At that same age my daughter used to do something we called baby-tonic (like catatonic) if she didnt get her way she would colapse on the floor and refuse to move, she would go totally limp like a noodle so it was impossible to carry her and if I tried to drag her she would kick like a freaking mule. I started bringing her stroller with us everywhere, if she started up, Id just strap her in and wheel her out. She stopped after that.

S.,

Sometimes as Moms we want to fix things with our kids. This requires a different stance I think. You have to be the one in control. When a child misbehaves, especially one that is young, one sentence needs to be spoken and that's it. When my daughter, at this age hit, I would say, no hitting, hitting hurts and put her in a space by herself (sometimes her crib, sometimes on the foot of our stairs). I would wait 2-3 minutes and then go back and reiterate hands are for hugging, not hitting. The main thing is you remain calm (as much as you can at all times) and speak to your child respectfully but firmly. We never referred to these as "time out" but rather "quiet time". To reflect on the behavior and more importantly to keep things from escalating further. It's very important to teach a "high spirited" child to recognize when they feel like they're heading out of control. I started this with my daughter at 2.5. I knew it was working when she had an encounter with my Dad who made her angry (and didn't realize it) and she stated very quickly, I need to go have a quiet time, I'll be back. I was SO proud of her!
She was able to come back and calmly say what happened and why it made her angry. My Dad was floored, (didn't realize how his action came across) and they were able to work it out together.

I don't have a good opinion on reward systems. I believe children need to do the right thing because it's the right thing to do. I think complimenting them is great if it's meaningful. For example, my daughter inherited my quick fuse (unfortunately) and she's 13 now. When I see that she's handled a hard situation with grace and control, I tell her how proud I am of how she handled it and that she's growing into a wonderful young lady. I have done that all through her growing up. Recognizing and praise when handling tough situations well. I think it reinforces her and I acknowledge that I KNOW how hard it is to be successful sometimes! Tempers are hard to deal with, and I know my Mom will have many jewels in her crown someday because of all she did to help me. It can be done though, in a loving manner.

Just another thought from someone who tries to exercise great control. This is a life long battle (if it's truly temper related). The sooner you can help him find ways to cope (whether it's you look like you're getting angry, do you need to run outside for 5 minutes, do you need to do 10 jumping jacks, do you need to have some quiet time) the better. I see it a lot like my struggle with weight. It's something I have to work on daily. Some days I do a better job, either way, I can get back up, apologize when necessary, and strive to do better.

Two great books to read are 1-2-3 Magic and Love and Logic with kids. Great reads even if you don't put into practice all they suggest.

Blessings to you as you raise your sweet boy. Know that he will challenge you and your husband and that's a good thing. You can be very successful!

God Bless you!
L.

Ack! Please don't listen to the advice about "dont' leave a party or store because he's throwing a fit" -- DO leave, and do it instantly and as calmly as you can. First, it shows him that when he has a tantrum in a public place, he will be immediately removed -- eventually you are going to remove him from a place he WANTS to be and that shows him that he cannot have fun and then be allowed to remain in the fun place if he has a tantrum. Second, removal of a tantruming child is simply good manners. No one else at that party or in that store should have to endure a tantrum. It is better for the child and everyone else to remove him.

A few tantrums does not mean you are on the way to an "out of control child." Please don't leap to that conclusion over something that is normal for this age. He wants things and does not have enough words yet, or the ability to form good sentences, to express what he wants, so the frustration boils over. It's your job to remain calm, not let him see you upset or angry, and just cooly deal with him.

When things are calm and good, work with him on expressing what he wants and needs verbally.

When he is getting wound up, look for things that trigger tantrums because often there is indeed a trigger that adults don't always recognize -- He may get easily overwhelmed in large groups (so limit his time in them). He may get cranky very suddenly if he hasn't eaten recently (so ensure he has small, healthy snacks throughout the day especially before going out or doing some activity). He may be changing his sleep patterns, waking earlier or taking longer to get to sleep,and may be more tired than you realize. With the desire to have his way (chips for breakfast, jump off the slide, etc.), you of course have to refuse him, but have you tried distracting him at the same moment? Offering an alternative?

At home let tantrums burn out in a safe place. Be certain you are not giving him too much attention during tantrums -- don't try to placate or soothe him and don't try to distract once the tantrum is in full force -- walk away if he's physically safe and say once, "When you can talk to me like a big boy, we can start again." Then LEAVE and remove all your attention. He will learn that tantrums get him zero attention. At the same time, give him a huge amount of attention when he's good, praise things he does nicely, etc. and he will learn the difference. (It may seem odd to you but since you're a first time parent, I'll tell you that kids do indeed crave ANY attention, even the "negative attention" of being scolded or fussed at, so don't engage him or fuss or even coddle him when he's tantruming-- remove all your attention and your presence if at all possible.)

Get some good books on toddler development ASAP and you will find this is a normal stage and get some good ideas on handling it.

If you don't have the book "what to expect the toddler years", get it as it will give you their development timeline. It's normal for this age because they are becoming individual people and want some control of their world, and they don't have much. It's kinda crappy from their point of view - ; )

For mine, I would say "that's not going to get you what you want. Let me know when you're done." Consistently following through makes all the difference. I explained things - no chips at breakfast - or I would let him have a few IF he had all his fruit first, etc. Keep teaching him how the world works - like the slide - how it works is if you want to go down the side you like, you can wait and go down on your turn, or you can go down the other side now. Tantrum = no slide. Tantrum = not getting what you want.

Let him know he's allowed to be upset (in my family, you were NOT and I refuse to do that to my kid), but he's not allowed to have a tantrum. Empathize when he calms down. I explain things (in kid level sentences) because I want my kid to understand why things are the way they are as WELL as listen to me.

Mine was not a big tantrum thrower, but he had a few moments. Usually they are out of frustration. 2 is a very tough year for them because their brains are changing SO much. Big thing - communication. Their brains have words but they don't know how to use them so they can get really frustrated really fast. Look into baby sign language to help bridge the gap till his mouth catches up with his brain. It may help.

Also, they are learning they are separate people from mommy - they honestly don't really feel separate till about this age. They are getting more control of their bodies and their world, so THAT freaks them out. I like Love and Logic for this because it's parenting based on encouraging good decision/choice making in children. Even at 2, they can do this. The idea at this age is YOU have areas that are NO choice - like getting a bath - but you give them a choice that doesn't matter to you - like bubbles or no bubbles. YOU get them to take the bath, THEY get to choose what kind, and they feel they have control. Everyone wins.

It's also about natural consequences - letting things happen when a child chooses to do something, as long as it isn't a danger to self or others. Like don't fight about wearing a jacket. Tell child what, why, etc. If they insist (like mine did when it was 38 degrees in TX) that they're fine, let them go. Bring the jacket if it's a long cold exposure situation, but let them walk outside without it. In my case, we had to run about 100 feet into the school. At about 50, my son told me it was cold. I told him we couldn't turn back because there wasn't time, and that he would be warm when he got in the building. I asked him what he would do the next time mommy said it was very cold out - he said "wear my jacket". Lesson learned, no arguing, no harm.

Love and Logic is harder because it's THINKING parenting and not as much reacting parenting, but it's really cool. Visit their website and they may have classes/facilitators in your area.

My advice is coming from a standpoint of eliminating the tantrum before it starts because it's not only "not fun" for you, but it's not fun for him either. And there's a reason for it at this age. He's ONLY 2 1/2.

You were at a party, and it sounds like he had a meltdown rather than a tantrum. You were probably at the party for too long where it was overwhelming and overstimulating, and he needed to leave sooner than you did.

You need to pay attention to his warning signs that he's growing tired, that he's had enough of his surroundings, that he's having trouble tolerating other people, if he's tired and hungry, if the surroundings are too busy, too loud, too bright, too much motion, too many people, etc. This is a parent thing, not a child thing, okay? He can't tell you when he's about to have a meltdown or when enough is enough. He needs you to help guide him and teach him when to tell you and that can take a couple of years.

So if you see him rubbing his eyes or yawning, it's time to pack up and leave. If you're at home, get him into bed.

If it's nearing a meal time and he's showing signs of crabbiness but the meal isn't ready then pull out a healthy snack for him. Don't make him wait for the meal if he's beginning to get crabby. A few strawberries and Goldfish crackers can hold him until it's time for the meal and reduce the chance of a meltdown.

If he's around just adults, does he have enough to do? Are you at a friend's house where children don't live there? Bring him an art kit to work on to keep him busy. Don't expect your hosts to have things for him to play with. Same at restaurants.

If he's going to have to nap elsewhere, make sure you have his own comforting nap objects around him. A lovey and a blanket and a quiet, comfortable, darkened room. If that's not possible to find then leave.

If his time out of the house before a meltdown has an expiration date on it, then don't stay out past that. If he can only handle 4 hours out once you step out the door then plan for that when you attend parties. Maybe that means you only stay at a party for 2 1/2 hours. You budget the time it takes to drive there and back, and time to transition him to leave and pack things up to leave so that you get home before there's a risk of him having a fit. But if he has one, he'll be more likely to have it safely at home.

These tips brought to you by a mom who has a child with Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder.

Welcome to the terrible twos (and possibly threes)!
It's a completely normal child development stage that every kid goes through one way or another.
At home, do you best to ignore the tantrums - put him in his room (safe place) and he can come out when he's finished.
He's not going to understand a reward system right now.
While he's screaming he can't be reasoned with or be bribed and giving in to chips for breakfast or what ever means he'll learn that if he screams loud enough and long enough he'll get his way.
Please don't just ignore a tantrum in public/store/restaurant/movie/etc.
It's not fair to the public to have to listen to any child pitch a fit.
Pick him up and haul him out to the car - he can exhaust himself there (wear ear plugs).
Before you go out, make sure he's fed and well rested.
Hungry tired kids are prone to losing it.
It's definitely exhausting but they do grow out of it eventually.
These are the sort of things that are annoying at the time but will eventually be funny stories years from now.
With any luck they'll get it out of their systems now at this age and might be less difficult when they become teens (doesn't always work that way, but you can hope!).

Ignore the fits. Don't leave a party or a store just because he is throwing one either, that is still a form of getting attention from you when he is throwing one. It's a phase and he'll get over it in time. Yes, it's embarrassing when our kids act like that in front of others but anyone that has ever had a child will understand and not judge. He won't understand an award system for behavior just yet either. But he might understand choices to help him feel more in control of his little world. When he asks for chips for breakfast say those aren't breakfast foods, how about pancakes or cereal? Give him 2 options to pick from. If he says no to both, pick two more. If he still says no, then he'll figure it out when he is good and hungry. When he figures out that throwing a fit won't get him what he wants, he'll stop them. Also, help him with his words to express feelings and let him know it's ok to be sad that he can't have chips but that isn't the proper way to show it.

S.

No, he's 2 not 12. He needs boundaries while you can still pick him up and remove him from the situation. He needs you to say no when you really actually mean no. If it is something that really does not matter in the whole big picture then why do you feel you have to say no?

Of course chips is not what you want your little one to have for breakfast but it's only a "time" of day. If he can have chips with lunch then why can't he have a few chips with his breakfast? I had left over breakfast bacon pizza for breakfast, my little guy had a slice of cheese pizza. My granddaughter had a bowl of Cocoa Krispies with milk. Who had the better breakfast? I think I did, I got veggies (tomato sauce), dairy (cheese), carbohydrates (bread/crust), and protein (bacon).

This child needs to be taught, he doesn't need to learn something abstract, he needs to be taught by you what is expected and allowed. This can often be the most frustrating and hard task a parent has to do and learn how to do effectively.

He is not going to be able to understand/comprehend a detailed chart. Kids his age have no concept of time. They don't know 5 minutes from 5 hours from 5 days.

I suggest you do rewards that are quickly given. Kids want to be appreciated and they will respond better to rewards instead of punishment. Kids who potty in the right place can be given a tiny M&M or a jelly bean. Our kids got 1 for pee and 2 for pooh. They would sit for a long time just to get that small token of a reward. They didn't get one every time, I often forgot all about it. They did just fine and trained normally.

As for temper tantrums when you're at home just ignore them. If he's at risk for injury pick him up and move him out of the area into his room, which should be the safest place in the world for him, so he can act out, throw stuff, do his worst. When he is done you can ask him to tell you what was going on, or what ever dialogue you use with him when talking about feelings and behaviors.

In the future you can start off by saying what is expected before you go inside somewhere.

For instance, before we get out of the car to go in to Walmart I go over the rules with the kids. They have to get in the cart if they go out of sight for any reason. She is 9 and he is 6. I don't care if they feel embarrassed or throw a huge temper tantrum. I continue shopping and ignore the heck out of them. They knew going in that going out of sight would get them in the cart. If I have a lot of shopping to do I might have someone lined up to come get one or both of them in case things go badly. That way I can say, before going inside the store at all, that if they don't follow the rules XXXX was going to come get them and babysit them while I finish shopping. I do not pick a person they like or have fun with. I pick the friend that will make them sit in one room and do something like help them finish up a service project, brush the cat, do something that is "work" or not fun. They don't want them to come get them so all I have to do is mention that XXXX is ready for them if that is where they'd like to go.

They conform now almost 99% of the time. It's been over 3 years since she had a temper tantrum in Walmart and he's gone nearly 6 months or more.

Telling a child "we're going to XXX's house for a party and you are expected to keep your hands to yourself and not touch their special things" is still a bit abstract for a 2 year old. They need rules they can understand in terms they comprehend that XXX will happen if the rule is broken. It should be simple to understand and easy to connect the dots to breaking a rule and consequences". That's more of a bribe. Rewarding someone for making the right choice is a much better thing to do.

"Hey John, I noticed you looking at Mr. XXX's pretty statues and you kept your hands off. Great job following the rules. Would you like a piece of dessert?". That's a reward that they will subconsciously with being good/making good choices and they'll be more likely to repeat that action.

Educate yourselves on child development and discipline techniques. Take classes, watch videos, read books, talk to a counselor or coach, attend a parenting group, etc. Too often we think as parents that we should just know how to be parents when the reality is that we don't. This knowledge needs to be acquired just like any other knowledge.

A great book for young children is 1-2-3 Magic and for when he gets older try P.E.T Parent Effectiveness Training by Thomas Gordan. These are the books we actually used as our textbooks when I was working on my MA and they both made all the difference in my own parenting and in the many ways I support my clients.

No reward system for this age. I would give him some choices because at this age they are just learning what they want and wanting it NOW. Maybe say would you like cereal or eggs for breakfast. That's a choice of two things. If he starts to whine and throw a fit pick him up if you have to and take him to his room or bed. Tell him when he is finished complaining he can come out and eat or do whatever. You have to be firm and consistent and don't get upset and let him see he's the main attraction. Do this every time. Of course if out somewhere like you were, you can still take him out and say do you want to behave or go home to your room? If he continues to scream do what you did but you need to not let him ruin your nights out too. I have taken mine to the car and said when they settled down we would go back in. You be in charge no matter what though. If you let this go it will be a terrible 3's and 4's and so on.

You have some pretty good advice so far. 2 is a hard age b/c they are figuring out how the world works and getting in touch with their opinions! ;) I do not think he would understand a reward system, he's just too little. But he will understand immediate consequences. I think it's okay to leave a party or a place if he's throwing a tantrum, but I also think it's okay to say, this behavior is not acceptable, sit here (wherever) until you can be calm. It may take a while, it may take multiple trips to get him to sit in that spot, but you just need to be prepared to be consistent.

I also agree with choices but I think you should pick 2 choices you are fine with and offer them. If he doesn't pick you pick for him and simply tell him so. He may throw another fit but honestly, if you always have the same reaction, the tantrums will become less.

Also, just be more aware too of how tired he is, stimulated he is, etc. and prepare for it and be careful not to push him past his limit. For instance, at the Christmas party, he could have just been exhausted or overstimulated from the activities at the party and although that is not a reason to allow a tantrum, you have to be aware of it and prepare for it. At 2 they don't know how to handle their emotions and cope very well, so as parents we really have to know their limits and try to get them to recognize them too by maybe leaving before you know a tantrum time might be coming or intervening with a snack or down time so that they have the means to make good choices.

well, this is what i did (and note, there is a difference between a sqirmy, noisy, disruptive kid when you don't have a whole lot of choice - oh i don't know, at the dmv or on an airplane, for example - and a full out brat-worthy temper tantrum. with the kind of tantrums you are describing - YES, you absolutely leave. you do NOT subject everyone else to that. that is horribly rude, and lazy parenting, imo.)

my son tried that a couple times. once for sure i know we were at a pumpkin patch. the other time i know we were at walmart. both times i left - and i left angry. he was in trouble, and he knew it. i carried his tantrum-ing rear end all the way to the car (yes, literally, kicking and screaming) and he heard about it on the way home. and you also better believe - my 2 year old caught on REAL quick that that is NOT the way to behave. it never got so far as to turn into habit.

at home, if he acted that way, time out. and no, you still don't get what you want. i don't care how mad you get. but you act that way in public? not happening. i do NOT appreciate being humiliated by my child. my 2 year old does NOT run this show. i'm not one of those sunshine-up-their-butts moms - if my child is acting unacceptably- they will know about it from ME, not strangers that i have forced to be subjected to it. (and ps, it's my opinion that if the child is getting suitable POSITIVE attention for GOOD behavior, the whole "negative attention" theory with tantrums kind of goes out the window. good behavior = good attention, bad behavior = bad attention. it's not rocket science, kids are smart. they figure it out quick.)

i'm not a perfect mom by any means, and i don't get "mad" about much, but public humiliation is one of my hot buttons. absolutely unacceptable.\

(eta: the other moms - most of them - have great advice about making sure your child is fed, rested, not over stimulated, etc. the couple instances i'm talking about were pure and simple, bratty-motivated, full out tantrums because he didn't get his way about something. obviously, we don't buy toys every time we go to the store, we don't give chips for breakfast, etc - these are things they have to get used to also, so they don't think it's normal and then freak out when it's just all of a sudden denied. know what i mean? this post probably makes me sound like a horrible monster myself - but in these instances, mom had already been firm and calm and clear in the "no", and son decided to take it farther, anyway. calm as much as possible, of course, is best. i'm just saying, there are times when they keep pushing - they really do need to know there is a limit to mrs. nice mom :))

You and dad did the right thing when he had a fit at the party. Do NOT reward a fit with a treat. First talk with him before you go any place and let him know if he acts up, you will be leaving immediately. (Pick him up take him out)....if he does it at home, pick him up at put him in his room.

Remember if you "freak out", that lets your child know how to get more attention for behaving badly. Stop the tantrum when it starts.....at the very least remove your child from the scene.

When my daughter was having similar issues, we were told that many parents don't understand the concept of "rewards" at this age. When kids are 10, a reward can be a movie or a toy or something tangible. But when they're 2, a reward can be interpreted as a reaction. It's not that the child enjoys seeing his parents lose their patience or yell, but it's just that in their undeveloped immature brains, any kind of reaction just feeds and fuels the behavior. So we were told to interact in a positive and upbeat manner when our daughter was behaving appropriately, and when the tantrum or rage cropped up to ignore her, not make eye contact, not speak to her. We were to pick her up without a word and remove her from the room or from the table, and not even look at her. As soon as she stopped (even if it was to take a breath to start the next round of screaming) we were to make eye contact and speak to her. So try rewarding him with your attention and conversation and smiles and looking him directly in the eye when he's playing nicely, and then removing all contact when the fits start. And we were also told that when we first started this program, the fits and tantrums might escalate, but that means that the child is starting to comprehend that his undesired activity is being ignored, and that the plan is working. Don't give up at that point but keep at it. Later on, this plan works when they start whining or backtalking. Ignored behavior will decrease and rewarded behavior will persist. Just don't think that rewards means "things". The best reward is a parent's hugs, conversation, and smiles.

Two year olds just have a hard time expressing themselves. It sounds like you're already handling it correctly. Remove them from the environment, and try to comfort them-but don't discipline them. I always talk to my kids about it later.
Sometimes you can get to the bottom of it (perhaps he needs an afternoon snack for instance). A reward chart is not a bad idea-he might be a little young for that so try to keep it simple-and go over it when he's in an open mood.

At this age they are testing their limits and trying to get in touch with their world, gain independence etc. Just keep him safe and be flexible a little bit with what you allow him to do. If he wants chips for breakfast one morning, let him have it, as long as he is eating other foods. It's not the end of the world, but if it's all the time then you can control that. You're just being overprotective mommy in a good way and he wants to be big boy.

It IS exhausting isn't it? My oldest son is 5 now and thank goodness we're done with these fits. But now our youngest son has started. He will be 2 in February, so he is early. Yay. With my first, I remember really stressing out about it and trying to help him or stop his tantrums. Nothing ever worked. He just eventually matured and grew out of it. With our youngest, I find it is so much easier just because I expected the tantrums to start about now. My husband and I just chuckle and ignore him and walk away while he is screaming, turning red, tears streaming, stomping and kicking. It's ridiculous what sets these little guys off. My advice, is just try not to get flustered (I know I always got flustered with my first) and just ignore, ignore, ignore. My son will sometimes follow us and continue his fit and we just keep walking away until he is done. This really is helpful. He gets sick of us ignoring him and will stop. We keep telling him he can come to us when he is done with his fit. LOL! Kids!! Good luck and hang in there. It won't last forever.

Hello...I've written this many times before and wish I would just copy and paste. Lol
Children need consistancy, bounderies and most of all consequences. Which means, set the rules, set the consequence, but follow through and both parents need to parent TOGETHER. It may take days or weeks, but your child wil get it eventually. When you're going through it, it doesn't seem like it, but it will. Never take them out of a situation and not talk to them about why you are doing it. Squat down to their level and explain, this isn't how we behave, do you understand? After you talk with them and things are better you let them know you love them. When they do something right, you tell them, thank you for playing nicely or whatever it is.
As far as food, you can give them choices, but "breakfast" choices. Say would you like some ceral , waffels or yogurt with fruit? If they say, no I want chips, you say I'm sorry, but that's not a breakfast food. If you eat your breakfast we'll see about chips for lunch. Don't give in! Trust me it works, but it takes time and effort from parents and child. I always, always explained things to our son and it just worked. He may not have liked it, but he knew what to expect. Example; We're going to Target and I would simply say, we're going and he would say can I have a toy. I would say, not today, but if you behave we can go an spend some time and see what's there and maybe next time we can buy a toy. Then, when it was time we'd go again, can I have a toy? We'll see, maybe something little. And I did.
Or you can suggest they take one of their favorite toys for a ride with them.
This way they know they can't have something all the time, if you do you're are setting yourself up for a distaster. When we would go and ride the train I would say, we'll ride the train twice and then it's lunch, okay. Every time he walked and away and said, bye train see you next time. I know some will say he is 2, but they learn everything when the're young. So, take a deep breath and try these little things and if you give the reasonable consequence, follow through. You'll get there, good luck!

I think he's probably too young for a rewards system, although you know better than any of us his level of maturity. I began potty training my son at 2.5 using a rewards system, and he understood it completely. My daughter, however, is nearly that age and I already know it wouldn't mean anything to her.

There was some wonderful research done last year that found that toddlers' tantrums all follow a similar pattern. I'm not going to write the whole thing here, but I'll try to find it in my email and post it here after I write this.

Basically, during the beginning/height of a tantrum, there is nothing short of violence that a parent can do to interrupt or redirect a toddler - so don't bother. Ignore it. If you're in public and uncomfortable, remove the child so that the tantrum takes place out of the limelight, but don't try to soothe the tantrum. In fact, don't give the child any attention at all. The research found that there comes a stage once into the tantrum where the child will want comfort. The researchers found that it was during this stage that a toddler's tantrum can be successfully interrupted. It is during this point that you can try to reason with the child, or explain a situation, even though the child is still tantrumming (< an invented word!)

Once I was able to recognize this pattern in my own children's tantrums (it took me a little while even after I read the article, because it's not always as obvious as the child asking for a hug or something), I felt like I had more control over the situation, and therefore was less frustrated. I think it's because I was able to watch my kids' fits with a more impartial eye and without the stress of worrying about what other people might be thinking, because I knew what was happening and what was coming, and I knew I would be able to regain control soon. As children age, the hysterical part of the tantrum naturally shortens and the part where the child seeks comfort comes sooner and sooner, so that helps too.

Keep in mind that this is a natural part of growing up, and only people who don't have kids or who haven't had toddlers in a long time would be shocked to see your child throwing the occasional tantrum. It isn't as embarrassing as you think it is - we've all been there, and if people are staring, most of them are probably watching sympathetically.

Good luck.

ETA: http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2011/12/05/143062378/what...

I would not implement a reward system for him to behave civilly. Children need to learn that they don't always get paid for things, especially for not throwing tantrums. Just think what would happen if you ran out of those treats for not throwing a trantrum.

Personally, I would pick him up, toss him in his room, close the door and there he would stay. When he gets done, sit him down and tell him that from now on, that is exactly what is going to happen when he throws a tantrum. Tell him he has a RIGHT to be unhappy and to let you know he is unhappy, but not like that.

I have to assume that the tantrums have worked in the past if he keeps throwing them.