Talking to Nanny About Ground Rules and Visitors (Boyfriend)

Updated on September 01, 2012
G.G. asks from Aurora, IL
9 answers

So what are the ground rules you typically give your nanny.

Our children are 4(preschool) 2nd and 5th grade so there are times that all kids are in school. Our oldest two are in school 8-330 and the youngest in preschool 4 mornings a week from 9-1130. What type of expectations should I have for the time when no children are present.

I also want to lay some ground rules. Can anyone give me an example of what they say or use.

I also want to clarify have friends over and boyfriends.

Please, please looking for advise, ideals, what to say or not say.

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answers from Tulsa on

No one is allowed over. Phone calls, texts, and emails of a personal nature are a nono during paid time unless their is an emergency and it is brief. I am paying for my child to be the focus. During the two hours the nanny was home alone, she could clean and do laundry.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Charlotte on

Ditto Music Making Mama. The only one she should be responding to on her phone is YOU! And no friends EVER while she's at your house. It's a firing offense for her to have someone over.

She needs to do light housekeeping while she is on the clock and the kids aren't there. You aren't paying for her to read a book, watch TV or do her nails. Have specific jobs for her to do everyday.


2 moms found this helpful


answers from Honolulu on

What is your Nanny hired for?
For Example:
Some are tasked with taking care of the children. Only.
Some are tasked with taking care of the children AND doing housework/etc.
So, with that in mind... you NEED to know, what you hired Nanny for?
AND per that "job description" that is what you expect... from a Nanny you hire and the Nanny agrees to that employment parameters.

Then, you are paying her daily.... is this hourly or a flat rate monthly?

To me, if I hired a Nanny to care for my kids... it would be for, those hours that they are home, from the point of time the Nanny is "on shift." If the Nanny is NOT needed during other hours because the children are in school... then what is she doing, at and in your home?????
If she is doing nothing... then don't hire her for those hours.
And certainly.... I WOULD NOT HAVE ANY friends/visitors/Boyfriends over at MY home... whether or not, children are present.
My home, (if I had a Nanny) is not an entertainment center for the Nanny's socials nor is she house sitting. She would be tasked with caring for my children.

I would NOT allow that.
Or I would only hire the Nanny, WHEN my kids, are picked up from school and she is Nanny-ing them, at home.

Is the Nanny asking you to have her friends/boyfriend over????
The nerve.
She is on your dime.
It is a JOB.
NO friends should come over when she is WORKING.

Tell her NO.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

Is she a live in nanny? If she is then I would say that it's pretty unrealistic to say that no one is allowed over. If she is not a live in nanny, then I agree that she could be doing more appropriate things during that time.

I have to say though that I never understood the 'no phone calls, texts, or computer' rules that some parents have for their nannies. As the parent do you not make phone calls or text while you are home alone with your children? Are you never on your computer while you are home alone with your children?

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Cumberland on

I would expect any employee of mine , in my home, not to have a friend over-unless they know how to clean a toilet, fold clothes, scrub floors, organize a closet and , yes-I'd probably hand them a rake, too! We don't have our friends at our job unless we work in a restaurant-and then it's business only!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Boise on

I'm not understanding. Is she a nanny/housekeeper? Why would she need to be there when the kids are in school? Is she the one who get's them up and out the door?

If she has not specific jobs when the kids aren't there then I think she would be considered off the clock and could do what she wanted in that time frame. On your dime and the childrens time, I would prefer if she was focused on the kids. I wouldn't mind the occasional text or short phone call, that's not a big deal to me.

I wouldn't want anyone in my home that I have not previously met and given the okay to. I should say though that i don't have one, these are just the things I think I would want.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

When I was a nanny the kids went to school all together in the mornings so I got the kids from pre-k and Kindergarten then came to their house. I stayed until dad got home and started dinner. I also kept the laundry going.

I got paid per hour per child so if someone was home sick and I needed to be there all day I got paid for that particular child.

This was in the early 90's. I got paid $2 per child per hour, then I got paid $5 per hour for cooking dinner and $5 per hour for doing laundry. I would keep the laundry going all the time but it took like 5 minutes to switch out the loads so over a days time it was maybe an hour on laundry. Starting the evening meal took about an hour but I did this after dad got home at 3:30. I was not cooking a huge meal during my time I was responsible for the kids.

I kept my time and activities on a paper in the kitchen and I got paid once or twice per month. She worked in the school system and I didn't work on any days when school was out of session. When I came back in the fall we would discuss if the money was coming out of dad's check, he got paid twice per month, or if it was coming out of hers, once per month.

If no kids are there she is not working and should not be paid.


answers from Minneapolis on

I'm not sure if you're hiring your nanny through an agency; remember, if you did, the background search only covered the nanny. And hopefully, you and the nanny have a work agreement with planned schedule. Hence, no! Your nanny should be focused on work - with exception to emergency situations - where they need to be on personal calls. Also, as a house managing and nanny agency, I suggest that you give the nanny at least 1 hour of lunch/break time - if employed full time and per the kids schedule -whether it's nap or school.



answers from Chicago on

You don't say how long your nanny will be with them & what her job responsibilities will be?

If you want your nanny available to you, all day every day, you need to pay her accordingly. Your youngest goes to school from 9-11:30 but if one of your kids is sick a day, or gets sick at school and you expect the nanny to be available to take care of them, or pick them up when school calls then she needs to be paid as if she is working, regardless of kids being home or not. To me, if She's not on the clock or not scheduled to be on the clock, she is free to make my own plans. That could really come back to bite you in the end. You could make those hours ( while the little one is in school)her time to run errands for you or light housekeeping. I suggest a flat rate every week. If u have a job that is such that you need her to be available to you all week, every week, you need to make sure you take care of her. After all she is taking care of your children, it's a two way street. Also make sure she is aware of all days off and half days that the older kids have. It seems as though there is at least one a month. Also be specific about longer breaks like Christmas and spring break. Will you need her or will she be off? If she is a full time nanny that will work all year around, she should get vacation pay while you are gone, especially if you are expecting her to work her vacations around your vacations. IMO. The better you treat a nanny (or any person)the better she will be towards you and your family. It's ok to have ground rules and be strict about friends, but you want her to feel wanted and appreciated.

Friends/boyfriends. Absolutely not. I don't know anyone that's allowed to have their friends or boyfriends hang out with them at work? Once again, if she is not on the clock, and you are not paying her, she should be allowed to do what she wants. Now, if she is going to be a live-in nanny, that's a different story. Agreements would then have to be made about when and what parts of the house the friends/ boyfriend are allowed.

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