Taking My 2Yr Old Out to a Restaurant with Coworkers.

maybe get a sitter. I know that if I was going out to dinner after work I would not want someone to bring a toddler with. it really makes conversation hard as the toddler wants / deserves his moms complete attention.

I don't know if I would go to lunch with a bunch of people my son does not know. He is only two and may act up because he is not comfortable. i would try a little harder to find moms with kids to hang with. I mean if I go to lunch with coworkers I really wouldnt want to take my kids. I think they were being nice.

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If you have taught your child how to behave in public, you have nothing to worry about. J.

Is there anyone, a neighbor perhaps,
that you feel comfortable with,
who can take your little one just for a few hours?
You will NOT be able to enjoy lunch, and adult conversation,
with your co-workers if your child is with you.
Just my opinion.
Haven't read the other answers.
S.

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Echoing what Dawn said.
I will assume that the mother who mentioned how the child behaves
didn't notice that you said the child is TWO YEARS OLD.
That was the entire point here.
A TWO YEAR OLD CANNOT be taught how to behave in a restaurant.
That comes later . . . . . gradually over a long time.
Whew.
S.

Can you not get a sitter? Another idea: My husband and I have taken to hosting his co-workers at our house for casual BBQs and such so that we can socialize without taking Baby out (I'm not ready for a baby-sitter yet, myself). It's been surprisingly successful.

It can be done. I would buy something brand new he has not seen, some toy that can be in front of him that he can play with. For my kids I would go to the Disney store and buy a set of the latest movie characters, unpack it and put it in a little evening purse and hand the purse to the child. Also, using those week (or month) pill boxes wiht flip-tops for each day they sell at drug stores and put a few cheerios in one hole, a few fishies in another, maybe some M&M's, etc. This kept my kids busy for quite a while. Another thing that is ideal is some kind of electronic toy, VTech makes quite a few, and then duct tape over the speaker so that the sound is very quiet. They get to push buttons and see things light up and stay entertained. Also bring him his own food, maybe in a divided container so you can just remove the lid and have cut up finger foods all ready for him to eat. We took our kids out to restaurants all the time, and saved those special toys ONLY for going to restaurants so they actually looked forward to sitting still to get the electronic book, or the set of Disney Princesses in a purse.

...so, they told you its okay.
So, that is their word.
Its hard to second guess them or what they really meant.
They said its okay.

Next: if it is a restaurant... make sure it is not a bar with smoking or what not. That is not child friendly.
But you can't just dictate to them, where they go. It is a co-worker get together.
And what time of night? Toddlers don't do well at restaurants when it is late or when they are tired or hungry. And you will have to juggle your attentions between the adults and your child.
No 2 year old, is going to be perfect at a restaurant.
And, if the dinner is LONG.... then a toddler will get restless.

Can you get a babysitter?
Anyone else who can help you?

C.,
If you work away from home, who cares for your son? If he attends a facility put the word out that you are looking for an occasional sitter.

As a mom with older kids, I prefer adult lunches to be just that, adult lunches. However, I also enjoy lunch with my friends and their young children. I think they are two different types of events. If you were told that your son is welcomed, then he is welcomed. My adult friends have no problem explaining whether a function is child-friendly or not.

I would go to the lunch and bring the baby because I remember the need to get out and socialize when my kids were little. I would order a meal that can be eaten with one hand, just in case, you need to hold your son your lap or something unusual like that.

Bring his special toys. Years ago, I bought a used gameboy and used games. I kept it in my bag and it only came out when I absolutely needed my kids to be quiet, like a parent/teacher meeting. Even a 2yr can figure out how to play with gameboy. And they are pretty tough, if dropped.

Of course, you will have to remember that you might need to leave early if he starts to, well, act like a typical 2 yr old. But I hope that both you and your son have a great time.

Good luck.
~K.

Updated

C.,
If you work away from home, who cares for your son? If he attends a facility put the word out that you are looking for an occasional sitter.

As a mom with older kids, I prefer adult lunches to be just that, adult lunches. However, I also enjoy lunch with my friends and their young children. I think they are two different types of events. If you were told that your son is welcomed, then he is welcomed. My adult friends have no problem explaining whether a function is child-friendly or not.

I would go to the lunch and bring the baby because I remember the need to get out and socialize when my kids were little. I would order a meal that can be eaten with one hand, just in case, you need to hold your son your lap or something unusual like that.

Bring his special toys. Years ago, I bought a used gameboy and used games. I kept it in my bag and it only came out when I absolutely needed my kids to be quiet, like a parent/teacher meeting. Even a 2yr can figure out how to play with gameboy. And they are pretty tough, if dropped.

Of course, you will have to remember that you might need to leave early if he starts to, well, act like a typical 2 yr old. But I hope that both you and your son have a great time.

Good luck.
~K.

It sounds like you don't know anyone in this new city and I wouldn't trust just anyone with my child. Don't do it.
Just take your child and don't plan on staying too long.
Take some toys he/she has never seen before (quiet ones hopefully.) :)
Go and don't stay too long. Plan on making it a short trip and if your child becomes unruly smile, say sorry and get the heck out of their for your peace of mind. :) Don't worry so much. :) Sounds like you need to get out. Go. :)

Can your child sit well for that long? I have been taking my son to restaurants since he was born and he does quite well (he just turned 2). I can meet friends for lunch and he will sit well for 2 hours. He also does well at dinner around 5:00 - 5:30. BUT this last week I met with friends and we went to Ruth's Chris and they put us in a private room. I thought well I guess that is good but my son is always an angel it wouldn't have been a problem either way. Well right when dinner came he starting screaming at the top of his lungs for whatever reason. He had never behaved that way in public. I think it was because we sat down for dinner around 6:15 and dinner came 7:30 which coincides with his bedtime. So to my point is if they sit well and it doesn't interfere with bed time I would say go for it. You deserve to get out!

Your child will also welcome the change of faces.

Does your 2 year old typically behave in a restaurant? If so, then I say go for it. If not, well, at least you tried. If it doesn't go well, then you can still get together with them, perhaps getting Chinese food to go and bringing it back to your place, and then having coffee and dessert together. I've even brought pizza to my former co-workers during their lunch break (since I am now a SAHM) and then we sit together in a conference room and eat (with my 2 kids too).

Updated

Does your 2 year old typically behave in a restaurant? If so, then I say go for it. If not, well, at least you tried. If it doesn't go well, then you can still get together with them, perhaps getting Chinese food to go and bringing it back to your place, and then having coffee and dessert together. I've even brought pizza to my former co-workers during their lunch break (since I am now a SAHM) and then we sit together in a conference room and eat (with my 2 kids too).

I would go ahead and do it because you need to connect and make friends. Though, some of them may not realize what a two yr in a restaurant looks like, so make sure and guide the selection of the place so you don't feel extra on edge at some quite, upscale place. Heck if its a disaster, don't do it again for a while.

I think it depends on the event. Some of the people in my office go have drinks after work. I haven't been invited because they know that I have young kids. I wouldn't feel comfortable taking them to something like that. If someone was just having a Saturday afternoon get together, I might bring them. If this is a recurring thing, how about going on your own the first time (have dad stay at home). That should give you a feel of the situation, and then you can decide if the 2 year old would be BORED or not, and if it is a place that would be okay if he ran around and around the table. (I think this is fine for a 2 yo if he isn't in the way, others may disagree.)

no, they are not just being nice. the only way a child is going to learn how to behave in public is if they are allowed out in public, walk the child thru what kind of behavior is going to be expected of them in a way that they can both understand and appreciate.bring their favorite toys and blankie and dont expect to stay out with them more then half an hour.lots of praise even if things dont go %100.
K. h.

I have done it. I work from home most of the time and I go out for lunch with my coworkers occasionally. They are happy for me to bring my 2 year old son becuase they love to see him. But my son does understand restaurant behavior and is usually very good. If your 2yr old isn't used to going to restaurants then I probably wouldn't try and teach them that ettiquet with coworkers. You also can look into moms groups in your area. It is really important not to be a recluse but you will need friends in your same life stage. Churches will often have moms groups that meet. Or places like the local library will have kids programs for you to go to and meet other moms and kids. Good luck!

well, it's do-able, but not especially ideal. it's especially difficult when you're in a new city so babysitting is hard to find, but i'd only do this with a lot of caveats. you are wise and sensitive to realize that your co-workers may be saying it's okay to be nice. you can't second-guess people to death, but most folks really are uncomfortable saying 'i'd rather you didn't bring your child' even though kids in an adult grouping aren't generally all that welcome. i love my friends' kids but also really enjoy going out to yak without any of us being constantly distracted from the conversation because the kids naturally need attention.
i guess a good compromise would be to go for a short amount of time, with the understanding that if your toddler gets wiggly you will go. littles at restaurants are okay if they're happy, but a wiggly 2 year old is distressing for everyone there. there's a wide middle ground between the moms who say get 'em acclimated (which is wise) and that 2 year olds can't be manners-trained yet (which is true.) that middle ground incorporates giving it a shot, praising your baby for as long as she's content, but leaving promptly when her tolerance has been reached.
by far the best thing to do is network other young mothers so you can have outings that include littles and are geared toward them. you'll also have more to talk about!
good luck.
khairete
S.

Here is my opinion....
We cannot teach our children how to behave in social situations if they are never exposed to them.
I could take my kids anywhere because I began when they were really little and they do just learn what is and isn't okay.
I would talk to your son about what a treat it is go get to go to lunch and meet some nice ladies and he needs to sit in his seat and be on his best behavior and if he does...then you can go out again sometime.
Maybe these coworkers are being nice and they wouldn't think of leaving your son out. He is part of your life. If it's a professional luncheon or something, that might be different.
If you know for a fact your son won't behave you might try to find someone to watch him, but then every chance you get...you should take him out so he can be socialized. You said it yourself...you don't want to be a recluse either.
I have just known so many people that won't even try taking their kids anywhere because they know their kids won't behave and it's not worth the hassle. Kids have to be taught to behave. Just my opinion.

You don't know anyone....I'd take your child. If he acts up, I'd explain that with the move and everything he's a little out of sorts, but not to the point you don't tell him he has to sit down and behave, etc.

Each outing will get easier as he becomes more accustomed.
I wish you the best in your new area and home and job.

Last year we moved due to my husband's job. We (as a family) were invited out to dinner with his co-workers. Many of the people didn't have there families in the area yet (one other wife and 1 teenager), but we took our children anyway (5 and 1 at the time). Everyone was great! Of course it was mainly social, not business. On another occasion, my husband took our oldest son alone (I was 8 months pregnant and didn't feel like going). As long as it is social, go for it. They should be understanding. Just bring a few toys for your child.

If they say it's ok, go ahead and take your child. But be prepared to leave if your little one starts acting up. Take something to occupy your child and make sure he/she(?) is well rested, not cranky or overly hungry before you go. I think if you plan well, but realize it might be a disaster and have an "escape plan" you should be fine. 2yr olds are tricky because they can be completely perfect or total terrors, and anywhere in between. If it is a disaster, apologize to your co-workers, tell them you'd love to try this again and next time will get a babysitter, and then leave. Good luck and have fun!

Tricky. It totally depends on the corporate culture your office has.
Where I worked, people would love to hear about your kids once in awhile, and see pictures. But when it came to business - they didn't want to know you even had a spouse let alone offspring.
Business sponsored family events were fine - kids/spouses are expected at the company picnic, Halloween party, and the company Christmas parties were swanky affairs with ice sculptures - spouses were welcome, but kids were a definite no no.
I wouldn't be the first to do it until you've seen someone else from your office do it (and see how well or not that goes).
You are going to have to find a baby sitter sooner or later.
Talk to other parents in your neighborhood and see if they have any baby sitter recommendations.