Stress Relief Needed ASAP

Hey Celestial Seasonings makes an herbal tea called Sleepy Time It has camomile & a couple other herbs in it to calm you or just try camomile. Valerian root will also relax you. Try going to a health food store or Whole Foods--they sell all kinds of different herbal combinations & they don't cost too much usually $10 to $20. If you try the tea with the pills drink the tea hot with some honey in it. It works pretty quickly & it's not drugs! You can contact me personally if you want to.

I agree with the other posting about WALKING. It is amazing the difference you'll feel! Good Luck!

All of the suggestions so far are wonderful. God is in Control - talk to Him! Call D. for a massage in Olathe ###-###-####. She has a heart for stressed women/grandmas!

I don't have much advice, but to tell a little story. I just took a graduate class and the professor prayed every night before we left. A line in his prayer went something like...
Lord, help them to always seek to find answers, and to not dwell on their problems.
God's peace be with you. You and your family are in my thoughts. Take care.

K.,
You poor thing! I am sure you are trying to stay away from the phrase..."what else can go wrong?" I am sorry that life seems to be handing you quite a few lemons at the moment, but I firmly believe that God never gives us more than we can handle, but somethimes its like...come on...really? Having said that, as hard as it is to do realize that you are One person, you can only do so much. All that you can't control and is out of your hands, try and not worry about it.

When you feel stressed a cheap and easy stress reliever for me is a hot bath, lavender is very relaxing and they make tons of bath products with lavender these days.

Also I like quiet, and in my house I can't find quiet, so sometimes I like to go for a walk by myself and try and have peaceful thoughts during my walk.

If you Know you are a nervous snacker make sur eyou have healthy snacks on hand = )

It will get better! ((((hugs)))
I will keep you and your family in my prayers!
Keep all of us up to date on how it goes
B.

the only thing i can say is matheney chiropractic (in gardner, ks) passes out 3 free massages/person/year. if that would help, get your buns out there!
God bless you and your family.

K.
First let me tell you I know what it feels like to be overwhelmed. I think every woman in the world does.
I will tell you I have lists coming out my butt from everything that needs to be done, repaired etc. I found a great stress reliever to be walking while listening to a great audiobook from the Library. Also I had to quit smoking so I took up Knitting it is very rewarding, not only are you relaxing while you do it but in the end you have something to show for your efforts. I am breastfeeding at the moment so drinking is not even an option. No Drinking No Smoking what's a girl to do?!
Another small suggestion do something just for you. Go to the movies see something by yourself, Leave Hubby with the Kids since he has such an easy time not being worried it should be a snap. Dont worry too much about DFS they will only be on you if there is really neglect just be you and show them you are a great MOM.

Sometimes in life we just have to bulldoze our way through these types of problems. But you also have to prioritize. You aren't super human; you can't fix everything.

Going in a bucket is yucky and dirty but it's something that does sometimes in life happen. Tell your children to stand up to social services. They can't take a child away because the toilet is broken! Tell them to get off their duffs and call around to plumbers until someone is able to help. If it's a matter of money, find a credit card, have everyone sell plasma, anything will do. The pregnant daughter can't sell plasma, but most healthy people can and if you all do it that can, that may be enough for paying a plumber to put in an old used toilet from a house that's been torn down. People renovate all the time and live in the middle of it. So they need to prove they are doing what's needed. However... if they are irresponsible parents and child services is involved because of asthma and the grand baby and smoking... Well sometimes we can't fix the stupid things our children do.

About your 6 year old... You also need to stand up to the social workers in a couple of ways... First of all you tell them that when I have called CPS about a 2 year old being left outside, toddling up and down the street in a diaper only and no one to watch her, I was told that it's done so much they simply can't follow up on all the complaints. They wouldn't come out! Secondly, you tell them that at one point the daycare licensing laws actually said a child above the age of 3 can be outside without the provider as long as they know their boundaries. I don't agree, but again I was told it's done all the time. I'm not licensed anymore so that could be changed...eat a little crow. Tell them you realize that leaving the child outside alone is wrong and that you won't do it anymore. You are scared right? You do realize how bad it could be? People make mistakes. BUT... It's such an accepted practice in most social circles so they can't try and take your son away over that! Sometimes the CPS is doing a terrible and thankless job that just must be done. But sometimes they are just annoying like flies. Bat them away and be done with it. There are not enough foster homes for frivolous removals.

The van problem...ugh. Car repairs are terrible. Did you think about taking a cab to work? Did you call your co-workers to look for help? Do you belong to a church? The child needing picked up may need to find another way. Your husband is right. Fix what you can and force yourself to just put the rest out of your mind. What choice do you have?

Call the Good Samaritan Project, catholic charities or just start calling churches. You might be able to get some emergency funds to help with some of these things since CPS is involved and losing your job right now is quite out of the question.

Sleep...Get some monster energy drinks and just get over missing sleep for now. It's all in how you think. Sometimes in life we simply can't get enough sleep and you have a choice. You can learn how to deal with it or walk around mad all the time. It's all in the choices we make. I haven't gotten enough sleep at all 4 days out of every 7 for the last few weeks because I have a child keeping me up til Midnight and others coming in and out of the house at 4-5 am and then I'm up to stay at 6 am. It's hard at times to go on 4-6 hours of sleep. But when I can sleep a good night I make sure I haven't drank any energy drinks 8 hours before bed and fall in bed exhausted.

The greatest stress relief in the world is giving it all over to God and asking him to help you see the way to getting all these things taken care of.

The next best stress relief is actually fixing the problems.

Hang in there, make a list like you just did, prioritize and then get to work. :)

Suzi

Hi K.!
This is one of those times when you really have to dig down deep and find all of the stuff you're made of. Talk to your husband-the two of you HAVE to stick together on all of this. IF you choose to try to fix all of this stuff, take it one project at a time. Make a list in order of priority, and if you have to, pull the family together and say, "this is how it's going to be"...If you can get everyone to work together and share resources (vehicles, money, babysitting, etc), you will all be so proud of each other when all this is over.

As far as sleep goes, you have to force yourself to put all of it out of your mind when you go to bed. My husband doesn't understand how I can lay in bed for two hours before falling asleep sometimes. It's because our wheels are turning at 90mph!! If it helps, put a notebook next to your bed so you can write down ideas (because we all know that's the only peaceful time we have to think!)

Last, but not least, you have us! If the family just doesn't "get it", then keep on writing! (And a little prayer might help too!) Take care!

Venting is good. Venting is safe, and this is a safe place to vent! Good for you for reconizing you need that.

I disagree with the earlier comment on no big deal about the toilet thing. I agree with you that it is a big deal. What are they doing with their waste? Where is it going, it is not safe to have sewage just hanging about. And a side note it is gross. We did a remodel of our only bathroom and it's not a big deal to take out one and put in another couple of hours max, so... even those remodeling find a way. About the authorities getting involved, I don't know. I know that a lot of thing are over looked that should not be. I think it's a underfunded agency but that is no excuse for the innocent children. I think it is a good thing that somebody cares about the kids becuase it's pretty obvious the parents don't and I don't care what anybody else says. You don't do harmful things to yourself our around your kids if you truly love them. It's selfish, it's wrong, and harmful to their physical and mental health. And if a parent refuses to take care of themself it in essense tell the child thru actions that they don't care about the kid becuase if the parent goes away who is left to parent? The kid is left behind, and they pick up on these things at a very young age.

Ahh the stress of cars, I haven't had one catch on fire but they are expensive and with gas at the price it is it's really hard to maintain them. I have no good suggestions other than look into your bus route, it's better for the environment, it's cheaper and it's there! It will require planning but what in life doesn't?

I'm sorry for your stress and pain. I fully belive you should help your children out when you can, I know my parents have bailed me out of a few financial spots. However, I know they would not if I didn't realize what the situation was, was making the changes to fix it and had a plan to pay them back. Adults should act like adults, parents should parent and stop being kids themselves and sometime the parents are just to blame for the kids than the kids. But, all those should add up to nothing really.

What really matters is you care for your grandkids, love them, let them know that no matter what you will find a way to be there for them. Give them security, a safe home, and fight for them when they need it, agaist anybody (even their parents), but do it with love for them always. They are innocents here, they didn't ask for it, but are having to deal with it and that is a hard burden for a child.

God bless you. But, in order for that happen you must have faith and willingness to go thru the hard times he allows you to see for it will ultimally have a purpose and will teach you things to make you a better person.

I have a bad habit of typing run-ons. Sorry, its just how my mind works. :)

I like a lot of these suggestions. Baths are good, a movie can take you out of your life for a while, and walking is much better than eating. Especially walking with a friend so you can visit and vent at the same time. Also, 'girls night out' is an excellent idea. We all need that from time to time. Keep in mind that you don't have control over most of this, so there is nothing you can do about it but pray. So take care of the things you do have control over and pray about the things you can't control. Renting a good movie from the Red Box is like a mini-vacation.
Prayers are with you. Good Luck.
C. R.

Wow. You will certainly be in my prayers. Please take some time for yourself each day, maybe drink a cup of calming tea. Avoid all soda and coffee, maybe try and interest your 6 year old in doing some stretches with you before bed. I hope things go better for you!

You need a girls night out with some girlfriends of yours. My friends and I try to schedule one every month or so to de-stress and get away from the family for an evening. We always do something different. One day we got a bucket of margarita mix and hung out at one of the gals' houses and watched movies and drank margaritas. Her husband took the kiddos and the other husbands dropped off their wives, so no one drove home toasted. We talk to each other about our lives and troubles and laugh a whole lot too. It's amazing what a few hours away can do. And it doesn't cost much either. Good luck and God Bless.

Sounds like you need lots of prayer. My mom always told me when things got rough to pray about it. Find a quiet place each day and pray from your heart. It helps. I used to get mad at her for saying that...I wanted a solid, easy, right now answer... As I've gotten older I see that she was right. Sounds like you are getting more than your share of hard times though. Just hang in there.

K.,

I tend to deal with stress the same way you do. EAT! I have learned a few strategies over the past few years that may help you out.

First: pray (this will help you see the big picture and help you to not feel so overwhelmed)

Second: cry (you are going through a lot, it is OK to cry - if you are not a cryer, find a way to let out the emotion)

Third: pray (this time, talk to Him about how to fix the problem, where to start)

Fourth: exercise (clinically proven to help relieve stress, anxiety and depression - swim, walk, jog, yoga, whatever just do it even if you think you hate exercise - trust me on this one)

Fifth: set a goal (approach things one at a time - today I am going to blah blah blah)

The whole thing should take very little time (depending on how long you exercise) and doesn't cost a thing. It is your free therapist. I consult mine daily :)

As far as the sleepless nights, this is a little trick I learned in high school:

Scrunch your face up and tight as you can and hold for a count of 15. Relax for a count of 15. Repeat. Then, start with your toes and concentrate on relaxing your toes. Never mind what the rest of your body is doing, just the toes. When they are completely relaxed, move to your ankles and legs and keep doing this all of the way up your body. When you get to your face, relax the chin, mouth, cheeks, eyes, forehead, everything. If you feel your mind start to wander, either start over with the toes or just pick up where you left off thinking only of what you are relaxing. I am usually asleep by the time I relax my core.

You will be in my prayers! God Bless!

Chris

pray. find a church and reach out to them. make sure you eat regularly or you will be even more short tempered. i will keep you in my prayers.

Good Morning Darlin'! K. you have an over following Platter my dear! The kids problems are Theirs you can't Fix it OK!?!?! Been there too K., just don't even try.
I admire you for raising your gr son, that in it's self is a challenge.
Oldest son really needs to make other living arrangements, like storing their belongings for a bit, looking for a new rental. Some of us see our kids in trouble or going through rough patch and want to HELP no matter what our condition may be. We can't continue to enable them to always rely on us. They have to stand on their own. They can come ask for advice BUT that is it.

My hubby said our boys' have used up their inheritance already. :)) At some point you have to force them to stand on their own. We allowed our youngest and his wife to move in here with us, we thought would be 6-8 months! Turned into almost 3 yrs and two gr kids later we told them they had to GO. They had 2 wks to find some place to live. When push comes to shove they can do it. Yup I had to start taking medication for stress and depression also, our DIL has a really bad temper and goes off easily. She takes meds now also. TY Lord.

As for SRS opps CPS on your back, keep showing them your a great mom and it was a freaky thing that your son did what he did, alot of kids forget their safety rules. Makes our hair turn Gray quickly too. ;)

I would think K. your van would still be under some type of warrenty since you had it only a month. Check with your dealer unless it was a private seller.

I am going to be praying for you K., Our Lord send you peace of mind, stress free days, not just a few hours.
Until you feel it Take a bubble bath and lock the door.
*When hubby gets home* Take your own life Back

God Bless you K.
K. Nana of 5

Take a deep breath and slowly exhale! I hope that venting has helped, as well as taking some time for yourself (a walk and a long bath). You're in my prayers!!

K.,
STRESS STRESS everywhere you turn. First take a few deep breaths. Second pray. Third walk around the block a few times. If you can find a good friend to walk and talk with the better. If not talk out loud to God. All of it the frustration, anger. what do I do now!!! Yes you will get thru all it this and be stronger for it. It is not easy.
I will be praying for you.

I've been going through some crappy stuff too, but nothing compared to you! I had a friend who is really into herbal stuff give me some recommendations of some stuff I could use without going to the doctor for a prescription. Which by the way, is probably what you need. All of this is just too much for you to handle. So, I have been using Bach's Rescue Remedy. You can get the liquid form at GNC for sure because that's where I got it. It does work, but gently. They also have Bach's Rescue Remedy Pastilles. They are like little gummy things. Either way, they are the same stuff just in different form and they are for "natural stress relief." Also, I was having trouble sleeping as well. I got some Valerian Root (450 mg.) at CVS and it works! Let me just tell you that I am skeptical of all the herbal stuff out there, but I'm thinking of becoming pregnant so I felt like I really needed to give the non-prescription stuff a shot. I was suprised by how it helped. Give it a shot.

K.,

Boy I thought my days were full of stress. The feeling of eating boy I have that to. Trying to get that under control now. I have found if I get away from it all for awhile it helps. Last night I played bingo. Hey do ever just get away with a girlfriend? May

You definitely have reasons to feel stressed - hang in there! I agree with taking a walk if you can (easier said than done.) Do you have a stroller you can use to walk with the baby? The beauty of walking is you can do it anywhere and it's free. Is there a school with a track nearby? You could walk laps and tell yourself that with each lap, some of the stress is being left behind. Or just going up and down the street can help too.

As for sleeping, what I do is count backwards from 100. With each DEEP breath I take, I think of a number (100... 99... 98...) when I exhale. It is difficult not to let other thoughts interfere with your counting (I usually only make it to 80 or so before I have to really concentrate), but if you keep practicing it gets easier. This is a very relaxing, almost meditative thing as it helps you to clear your mind of other thoughts and helps your body feel better with all the deep breaths.

I don't have much advice for the rest of your request, so I hope what I do have can help you some. Good luck - it sounds like you're doing the very best you can with what you've got to handle. Also, try to focus on everything positive you can - make lists if you need to!

Do your best ... then give God the rest.

Hi K.,

Have you tried going for walks or bike riding as a stress releiver? Also, back when I was in college I had to take a physical education course, I chose a self defense class. This class was the best stress reliever! The punching, kicking, etc allowed me to take my stress out on a foam block. Try that, but use a pillow instead.

I have a question for you. Why does children services think they can take a child away simply because the child walked out into the street? Yes I realize child in the street is not safe, but what children hasn't done this? I think if that is what they are basing their decision on, they are over stepping their boundaries.

Hang in there, life will get better. I hope you receive some excellent advice to help you out.

Best wishes,

J. H.

Wow, first take a really deep breath inhale throught he nose and exhale through the mouth slow. yep that does help. Okay now the painful truth they are all adults and need to fall perhaps to stand. Dont let them drag you through things you cannot control. they are able bodied and two of each set. let them go, yes I know not that easy well I went through a simular thing and the best you can do is to teach them to stand on there own. The children are different help where you can with them.
The saying goes: feed a man fish he eats for a day, teach him to fish he eats a lifetime. God bless.

wow. (((((hugs)))))

That is a lot, and I don't know how you are doing it! I have no advice, as I am more like you than your husband, and I would be worrying.

I like to take baths to relax, I light something that smells good, get a good book and take a long hot bath.

With the exception of your 6 year old, all your children are adults, so their problems are not yours. I think you are taking on too much. You are just one person. Your older children are old enough to solve their own problems. Focus only on what you can change and control; nothing else. If they come to you & try to make their problems yours, simply explain that you have your own issues to deal with & that they'll have to take responsibility for their own lives. If they do stupid things that result in trouble for them, too bad. At least they'll learn something, even if it's the hard way.

Put things into perspective. Children's Services will not take away your child simply b/c of one isolated incident. Work with them to resolve any confusion in a cool, calm & collected manner & the matter should work itself out. The more you hype yourself up, the worse the situation will get. If you can communicate logically & rationally, you will find that these problems will be easier to handle.

Find public transportation, if possible or look into ride share for the time being. If you can't pick up your older daughter for the weekend, tell her why & she'll just have to understand. When you get super stressed out, walk. Take a walk or give the baby a stroller ride. Try to take deep breathes & realize that you cannot control everything and everyone around you- and for good reason b/c you're creating more stress for yourself. When you get back home, write down a list of your problems (not other family members problems) & find solutions that are manageable; then do them. You will find that getting the problems & do-able solutions down on paper, will go a long ways towards helping you rest.

Not every day will seem like this one. Managing stress is very difficult for people who feel the need to "help" everyone. The problem starts when their problems become yours. For your health, peace of mind & sanity towards others, please worry about yourself. This is not selfish. It's necessary.