Son Who Prefers to Eat with Hands

Updated on March 09, 2007
I.I. asks from Phillipsburg, NJ
12 answers

Did anyone ever have issues with having their kids to eat with utensils. My 2 1/2 year old refuses to eat with a spoon/fork. He would start to eat with it and after a few minutes drop it and begin to eat with his hands!!! Regardless of what dish is served-rice,mac & cheese even ice-cream the fingers find its way to the plate and then his mouth. I have tried ignoring him and talking to him but he just does it anyway.
I am at a loss as to where he learnt this behavior and he is always at home with me. Everyone eats with a utensil and we encourage him to but he smiles and just eats with the hands. I am scared now as he is about to begin day care soon.
I would appreciate any suggestions.

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So What Happened?

I really appreciate all the suggestions & advice sent.
I am happy to say that over the past couple weeks Immanuel is using his utensils..not as much as I'd like but anything is an improvement. He starts daycare tomorrow and things can only get better.
Next step day care ......

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A.I.

answers from New York on

Isidora, I think that it may be a combination of his age and the fact that hey may be thinkning well if i eat certain foods with my hands (chicken nuggets, french fries) then why can't I eat ALL food with my hands. My son is 3 1/2 wenet througth the same thing..I kept redirecting him and telling him to use his fork or spoon over and over..He finally got it after several months of "training". But now at 3 1/2 yrs of age he is using his utensils and hands when appropriate. hope this helps GOOD LUCK

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M.K.

answers from New York on

I hear that you are frustrated, but I wouldn't worry about it, dear. He is still so young and will learn in time. I'm sure they have lots of kids doing the same thing at day care. If it's an issue for them there, they will help him learn and you'll have allies! I have to admit, I'd rather eat with my hands, too! Why not keep giving him the utensils, and praise him when he uses them? For example, "I really like how you are trying to use your fork for the macaroni. You're holding it very well." Then say nothing when he starts using his hands. I encourage you to keep it from being a battle!

Good luck to you!

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K.D.

answers from New York on

Haha I can tell you where he learned that behavior... from his caveman predecessors! LOL My 2 1/2 does that same thing.. begins the meal with utensils, and concludes the meal with her hands like a cavewoman. It's the basic need to get food into their faces, and at that age, utensil is just an implement that works much slower to get the food where they want it then just using the hands. THey all do it, don't worry! And it'll definitely fade out as they master the use of utensils. Figure it this way, have you ever seen adults eating with their hands, other then fried chicken or corn on the cob? LOL They all outgrow it sooner or later. Two years old is RIGHT at the age where they're not as good with the utensil so they're using hands more.

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A.D.

answers from Burlington on

Iam 32 years old with a 6 year old son for a long time my son would eat wit h his hands he still eats with his hands sometimes when he has a hard time picking things up with a fork or a spoon.
your son is only 2 years old he will learn have a little patience with him he will get it. At every meal just a suggestion have make meal time fun play airplan with the fork or spoon show him meal time is fun that it's not boring.

A. D

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A.M.

answers from New York on

It may be a sensory thing... so try letting your child do fingerpainting with yogurt or pudding , give them time with playdoh or any homemade type dough, Use farina/cream of wheat in a big bowl and let them draw or make letters in it etc.. this webpage will give you other great ideas too
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/play-doh-recip...
The thought here is , you give them time (outside of mealtime) to satisfy their sensory craving and then be vigilant about using a utensil at meal time..
Good luck

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C.D.

answers from New York on

I have four kids and I was so worried all the time about things like eating and potty training but I have relized is they do not do it forever and we should just enjoy them as long as they are not hurting themselves or anyone else..
I dont even remember my kids having to use forks or spoons in preschool they usually ate food that you can use your hands.
C.
Mom to Danielle, Nicole, Amanda & Joe-Joe
http://colleend.stayinhomeandlovinit.com

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D.L.

answers from Binghamton on

I am not sure we have in the same perdiciment. My son wouldn't use a fork till he was 5 and 1/2. He would use a spoon once he started daycare. My advice would be that once he starts daycare see how it goes. He will see other kids his age using them. My son learnt alot from kids in daycare and he now use the kids in school to guide him. My son has Asperger Syndrome, a form of autism. I would say that if you can handle it for alittle longer than just offer the utensils and let him decide with just encouragement.

Single mother of 2 kids. A 12 year old girl and a 7 year old boy. Girl lives away from home. Boy lives with me full time. He has Asperger Syndrome, Conduct Disorder and we are looking into Bipolar.

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L.G.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi I.~ My son is 27 months old and does the same thing, he starts with utensils and then drops them and uses his hands. the one thing that has helped a bit is i give him a cappacino spoon, it is small, he seems to use this one longer. I am not concerned at all and as long as the food gets in, I am happy. Often he is covered in food when he is done, all over the face, in his hair. (I actually think it is a bit funny, but i do clean him up after) and it that is his only issue at daycare, then i wouldn't worry about it.

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S.K.

answers from Elmira on

All kids explore with their hands, Its okay, Mine are 8 and 4 now and they still eat somethings with there hands.
he is still young, If you dont like it, feed him. Just keep offering him the forks and spoons.

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S.M.

answers from Allentown on

My sons (ages 2 and 3 1/2) do not like to use utensils either. I dont have any suggestions. I am just happy my kids eat (with or without utensils). I do tell them it is polite to use utensils etc... Sorry I am no help but you are not alone.

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J.J.

answers from Syracuse on

My son is about 20 months, and he is pretty good with his utensils. He still sometimes uses his hands, but not often. What kind of utensils are you using? I have found that the "cheap disposable" ones from walmart, I think they are called toss and go, are the easiest for them to use. Yes, they are disposable, but they are also dishwasher safe. I tried to use metal with DJ, but he wouldn't use it. As soon as I went to the plastic (they make a package of spoons AND forks that are "comfort gripped" for learning) he took off with it.

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M.M.

answers from Glens Falls on

I do in-home daycare with my brother's girlfriend. If you explain to your son's teacher that he eats with his hands, she may be able to encourage him to eat with utensils. Sometimes just seeing other kids do something will be enough to get your child to "copy" them. When we started out at the daycare we had a four-year-old, my 2 1/2 year old son, my now 17 month old son, and my now 16 month old niece. We would do projects with the older two. After a month "the babies" wanted to do projects with us- so now we help them. They want to be like the other kids at the daycare. We are also starting my oldest son on a regular cup rather than a sippy cup, because he sees the four year-old using a regular cup. We also have a 20 month old- who is starting to use utensils now because he sees the older two using them. He also sits in a chair, rather than a high chair- because he is much bigger than the other two "babies" and we only have two high-chairs. So if you can't get him to use utensils, until he starts daycare- he may start using utensils- because he is copying the other kids. I know you said that you all use utensils in your house, but their are no older kids to look up and try to copy. Children are more likely to want to be like the other kids, rather than trying to be like adults. I hope this helps.

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