Social Study Interview

I hope this works out better for you than it did me. It's probably mediation just to get you all two to get along during the youth of your child.

Just try and be peaceful and easy going. Listen and ask questions on how to manage things better and how to work with ex. Don't get off on old issues and downgrade ex. Work ahead. Its okay to use this at your advantage to learn how to move forward.

My husband & I went through a 'social study' back in 2003/2004. Basically you will have series of interviews with a master social worker who will 'study' you. She will observe you with your son & without. She will either interview your friends & family or have them write letters of recommendation on your behalf. The same social worker will go through the same process with your ex. In our case it took almost a year to complete. But... our case involved my husband's 3 school age children & both sides had blended families with 1/2 siblings & step siblings that were a part of the picture. They observed us as a family, interviewed us together, seperately & the same with all the kids. She interviewed teachers & reviewed school records & all of that. Medical records for all parties involved, back ground checks, you name it. It was a really invasive process for ANYONE! A lot of their focus will be determined by the claims of the other party (the ex). My husband's ex has extensive mental issues. She really put us through the ringer. She made every outlandish claim she could come up with and our 'studies' was invasive to the point that I literally wondered if they were going to ask us to bend over. If you know what I mean. After the interviews & observations are done, the social worker will write a report consisting of her findings from both sides that will include her recomendation to the court as to who should have primary custody of the child/children. In the end, the social worker & the judge ruled in our favor. We not only retained custody of their two sons (who my husband had been raising since the divorce when the kids were toddlers) but his daughter who had always resided with their mother also came to live with us. It was a nightmare to go through & I was glad when it was over (that's an understatement actually) but it was all about protecting our children & in the end was worth it! Looking back I am thankful that we were strong enough to endure it because it resulted in our family being brought together. All our kido's are teenagers now & are exceeding our expectations. They are ALL amazing! Did I totally scare you??? I really didn't mean to! Our case was extreme I am sure. Bottom line, just love your son & be honest! They will not take him from you unless they find VERY good cause. Good luck!

You will have to go through several different interviews. Each of you will have individual interviews. They will watch you throuugh a one way window as you interact with the child and they will interview with family members on each side. My husband and I went through this with his custody over his oldest son. It was a LONG draown out process of almost a year before she finally gave her "recommendation" which she later took back after speaking with my step-sons therapist. Needless to say after a 3 year ordeal and back and forth court and social studies and having the ex calling CPS, we have full custody and the mother only gets supervised visitation with him once a month.

When we did our adoption and had a home study done, the lady just came in and talked to us about our family and history. She took Julia too her room and asked her kid-friendly questions about what she likes to do with her daddy (who was adopting her). It was not nearly as terrifiying as I thought it would be! She just casually looked around the house and chatted with us.
I'm very sorry that you're having to go through a divorce! I'll keep you and your son in my prayers.